Chapter 237 – And so, it begins!

Chapter 237 – And so, it begins!

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!”

With those three words the colosseum was transformed. Arcane machinations flickered to life high above the arena in the shape of a hexagon of enormous screens. Cameras started flying around all over the place, showing pictures of the crowd on the monitors above and, as John was very well aware, to the citizens of the Abyss all over the world.

“WELCOME TO THE 17th TOURNAMENT OF GERMAN KINGSHIP!”

The picture changed to the one who was speaking, sitting on a large flying desk. It was a guy with a tremendously comical haircut, brown hair that was combed straight upwards (held there with some very powerful styling gel), giving his head an elongated appearance. He managed to wear his suit, a traditional black vest and white shirt combination, in a most goofy way and generally acted the part of the over-performed. The microphone twirled in his hand between sentences.

“I am Jeff, your main announcer for this wonderful event!” he gestured at the man at his side to introduce him next. That was the simple, straight looking lizardman John had seen earlier. His black scales were sleek and harmonized nicely with his red tie. Around the edge of his neck grew eight horns, four on each side, a dark membrane stretching between them. The membrane tensed up a moment later, as the horns pulled apart when the lizardman cleared his throat. “And I am... well, your human tongues can’t hope to correctly pronounce it anyway, but call me Mister Dra.”

“There you have it, folks!” Jeff shouted. “Aren’t you all EXCITEEEEED?” The crowd broke out into wild cheer.

Dra raised a hand, “In accordance with modern needs, the program will be sent in English, but do not worry, dear viewer, for you should find magically translated versions going online as we speak.” A table appeared on the screen with a list of channels.

“Ah, Dra,” Jeff turned to his co-host, “you should do it like me and just have that ‘could care less about the organization things’-attitude. Just get hyped, man!”

“I think you mean ‘COULDN’T care less’, Jeff,” Dra corrected him in a straight tone. “Otherwise you do care.”

“Potato potato,” Jeff waved off- “What is important is that THE FIGHT BEGINS TODAY!” The crowd below cheered again.

“So, they are playing the goofy and straight man strategy?” John wondered out loud as he watched all of this go on.

“Yup,” Rave, snickering, said. Well, at least one of them found it funny.

‘I like that Jeff guy, he is talking a lot, I like that, he has a great attitude,’ Sylph commented in John’s head.

‘He is pretty obnoxious,’ Salamander said. ‘So, I am sure you would get along.’

Thana was also grinning but for entirely different reasons. Eyes set straight towards the platform across the arena, her fingers individually tensed and relaxed as her hands trembled. She couldn’t wait to punch something. Lydia and Momo were sitting quietly, reading their respective books.LaaTest novels on (n)ovelbi/n(.)com

“Let’s break down the format for our viewers at home,” Jeff announced, and a graphic appeared on the screen.



“Both teams have 5 contestants and they will be pitched against each other in three different disciplines over the course of three rounds. The first discipline is the solo fight. Dra, can you run us through how those showdowns will be fought?”

“Certainly,” the lizardman nodded. “As my colleague mentioned, we will have three rounds. In the first one the Candidatum Primus, being Maximillian, will announce his fighter. Afterwards, the Candidatum Secundus, being Lydia, has 5 minutes to choose her fighter to go against them. Then the fight will begin. The winner will then get one point for their team, and both fighters will be unable to be chosen again for the rest of the round. So, if we would have Lydia and Maximillian fight, for example, and Lydia won, it would look like this.”



“...I apologize for the lack of using complete names, by the way, but we only have so much space on the screen,” Dra added.

“That’s how that is, folks!” Jeff shouted, ignoring his co-announcer’s courtesy. “The contestants will be fighting tooth and nail to secure victory for their side. But what is this?! A non-lethal tournament you say?! WORRY NOT, VIEWERS! Thanks to state of the art Fateweaving and barriers put in place by Lady Luna herself, our contestants can beat their brains out with relative ease. An assassination attempt on the battlefield is therefore completely unlikely.”

“Do you not believe me fit for ruling?” the princess asked.

“I think you will be good at streamlining that bureaucratic shit and make whatever you touch financially stable. If you will make for a ruler that makes history books, though,” Thana shrugged, “I don’t see it. You are so out of touch with the common person that it really doesn’t fucking matter. You would only see the Nazis taking over again once someone presents you with a popularity poll. You can govern, sure as fuck, but rule? Well, I don’t give a fuck, not like I will stick around in the country that created me.” Lydia simply closed her eyes and went deep into thought.

“Uhm...” Jeff finally found his words again.

“Well, that was certainly blunt,” Dra spoke.

“It is as you say, Dra, well... How about we give our candidates a chance to present their own opinion on the matter,” the announcer's desk flew over to Maximillian’s platform.

“Do you have anything to s-“ Maximillian ripped the microphone from Jeff’s hands before he could finish asking.

“I am deeply concerned about the emperor’s opinion of me. Is it bad that I want to remain loyal? Is it bad that I honour our traditions? No, I say! I have no interest in dragging out this useless chatter anymore. You, my people, and indeed the very people of this world, want to see the tournament. As their king, I am happy to let actions speak louder than words!”

He gave the microphone back and sat down. ‘I expected more from a person that likes showing off so much,’ John thought as he watched the gravity king fall back in his chair with an obviously disgruntled expression.

‘Mhm,’ Siena moaned; ‘Just look at his torment, delicious.’

Even though he ignored the nightmare elemental, John had to agree that Maximillian did not look particularly happy about how things were going. His worship of Romulus as some sort of idol seemed genuine, so getting such a punch in the gut probably hurt.

The announcer’s desk now flew their way. Lydia stood up and met them at the edge of the platform, still deep in thought. “So, do you want to add something, princess Augusta?” Dra asked. Lydia didn’t answer. Arms folded behind her back, she simply looked ahead. The silence changed from tense to awkward as she just stood there.

“Ehm... I guess we can take this as a no?” Jeff asked and was about to retract the microphone when it was pulled from his hand and hovered in front of Lydia.

“I detest this tradition,” she said, “fighting each other over something as important as the position of head of state. To reduce it to a mere form of entertainment. I find it absolutely detestable, and without a doubt, if -when- I win, I will get rid of it.”

The people started to mumble in annoyance. They, unsurprisingly, did not appreciate having their entertainment titled as something unwanted and detestable.

“Without a doubt, this is a tradition that does more harm than good... I, however, understand what the emperor is trying to tell me, and to ignore the words of the oldest human being would be foolish to say the least. I have my goals, but maybe I will have to reform my ways. An answer I will have to find another day. For our current time, I agree with Maximillian. Let actions speak louder than words.”

She turned away, and the microphone flew back to the announcer. The desk then flew high up.

“Well, that was an okay speech,” Thana told her.

“I am not a great public speaker,” Lydia admitted. “As you say, maybe I am out of touch.”

“Fucking hurray, I was just shit-talking you, but hey, if it does any good!” Thana giggled and earned herself a stern glare.

“Whu, that was a pretty heavy start there, Dra,” Jeff said.

“I can only agree,” the lizardman nodded, “but for all heavy things, there is a countermeasure.”

“AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE, FOLKS!” Jeff shouted in attempt to get the hype back on; “BECAUSE WE ARE STARTING THIS TOURNAMENT WITH A GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!”

The crowd loved it, Lydia pinched the bridge of her nose, Thana let out a disappointed grunt, Rave laughed, and Momo turned a page. John realized once again that the Abyss was full of crazy people.