CH 10

The Liu compound may have been a dizzying labyrinth of courtyards, wings, rooms, and dead ends, but it was ultimately still an ordinary rectangular compound with ordinary dimensions. The more one was interested in feng shui design, the less likely one’s compound was to have an irregular or unpredictable setup. Though there were countless walls and doors, it was impossible to lose track of the following eight directions: north, south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest. 

And these eight directions happened to correspond with: harm door, fear door, scenery door, rest door, delusion door, death door, life door.

Normally, out of the Eight Doors, the three auspicious doors were the open door, the rest door, and the life door. The death door, the fear door, and the harm door were the three inauspicious doors. The scenery doors and delusion doors were neutral, and maintained balance between good and evil.

But auspicious, inauspicious, and neutral weren't immutable categories. There was a folk saying that went: ‘When an auspicious door is subdued, it cannot do good; when an inauspicious door is subdued, it cannot do evil.’ So if the life door was used for a yang home or a living person, then it would be auspicious, but if used for a yin home or a dead person, then it would be inauspicious. Similarly, if used on a dead person or a yin home, a death door could also be highly auspicious.

So what did this entail? For living beings like Xue Xian and Xuanmin, all they had to do was find the life door, and they'd be able to escape the array safe and healthy.

Under peaceful circumstances, it was easy to calculate which of the Eight Doors was which. But if, for some strange reason, the doors began to shift, that made things complicated.

Xue Xian and Xuanmin now found themselves in such a situation. Somehow, the life door had become a death door. Not only had they been unable to escape from the array, but now all sorts of evil spirits [a] were after them.

Despite all that, there was not even a hint of hesitation in Xuanmin’s hand as he pushed open door after door. Xue Xian didn’t even have time to ask him to reconsider!

If this had happened to an able-bodied Xue Xian, with his ‘pierce the heavens and shake the earth’ temper, he would've said, Fuck these eight or nine doors of death and life! Kick them down one by one and we’ll be bound to find the exit! If that fails, I'll call down some thunder and make this place explode! 

He was certain that if he were still in possession of his powers, he would never have been vanquished by this low-level trick.

But reality was different: Xuanmin was the boss, and Xue Xian was nothing but a small paper man hiding on someone else’s shoulder.

He and Xuanmin had barely known each other for a shichen –– a few cups of tea’s time. From only these brief interactions, Xue Xian couldn’t begin to imagine how powerful the bald donkey might actually be. He had the arrogance of a high priest for sure, and sometimes seemed to be able to bluff his way through things, but Xue Xian had not yet seen him do anything real yet.

For instance: could he summon thunder and bring rain? Could he save a lost, rogue ghost like Jiang Shining and help the poor man transcend? If it came down to a fight, could he beat up a resentful dead grandma? [b]

The most important question was whether he could beat up a resentful dead grandma.

And Xue Xian really didn’t think Xuanmin could.

The bald donkey captured yao using random pieces of copper sheet. 

Xue Xian asked himself, Have you ever seen a master [c] who captured yao by shovelling them?

Xue Xian replied: Never!

Xuanmin frowned and glanced at his shoulder, where the niezhang was muttering to himself. Xuanmin’s slender, beautiful finger was still poised against the door in front of them. When he'd opened the other doors, he'd been careful not to make a sound. Now, they'd been exposed, so there was no need to sneak around. He slammed the door open gracelessly.

The narrow crimson door suddenly burst forth and smashed into the wall beside it with a clang.

Just as Xuanmin was going to step inside, he saw that the palm-sized paper man on his shoulder seemed to become restless again: without a word of explanation, the paper man was now clambering down Xuanmin’s robes. The paper man went from the high place that he had just claimed was ‘a better view’ down to Xuanmin’s hip. He faced Xuanmin and hung his head in silence for a moment, and then followed the stitching of Xuanmin’s robes to slide back into the pouch. He even obediently sealed the pouch shut after himself.

From the top of Xue Xian’s head to the soles of his feet, the message was crystal clear: You can go die. I'm getting out of here.

Xuanmin: “...”

Behind this narrow door was a regular-looking rectangular courtyard, with a front hall to the south and a main hall to the north, and corridors on both sides. The strange thing was, despite Xuanmin's utterly conspicuous manner of opening the door, he hadn't seemed to have alerted anyone here. Inside the pouch, Xue Xian waited with a clenched jaw, but did not hear any lumbering, shuffling footsteps either. He couldn't help but stick his head out of the pouch again. 

There was not a single soul in the courtyard –– it was almost peaceful. However, they could hear the dim sound of laughter coming from the front hall: it sounded like Liu-shiye.

Xue Xian had long decided that he thoroughly disliked Liu-shiye. But he was quite curious as to what was going on in the front hall.

Just as Xue Xian was thinking this, Xuanmin crossed the threshold into the courtyard and began to silently walk down the corridor toward the back door of the front hall.

Since they were approaching from the back door, they could not see what was happening inside –- their point of view was blocked by a large screen in front of the door, around which anyone wanting to walk into the hall needed to detour. Xue Xian watched, panicking, as this bald donkey had the audacity to step right over the threshold and walk directly to the screen. Xuanmin positioned himself behind the screen, and now they could hear each and every word coming from inside. 

Xue Xian wasn't sure how many people were gathered in the front hall, but he could only hear two voices. One of them was Liu-shiye, and the other belonged to some guest of his. From the intonation and speed of his speech, this guest seemed to be an old man.

The old man said, "By the way, a rumor has been making its way across town. I'm not sure if it's true."

Liu-shiye asked, "What rumor?" 

"The fire at the Jiang compound. Have you heard about this, old friend?"

“Of course, of course." For some reason, the shiye’s tone was unnaturally dry. He repeated himself again, then raised his teacup and took a sip. He coughed a couple of times, then finally said, "The yamen organised the funeral, actually. The Jiangs were burnt to a crisp. If not for the coroner, we might never have been able to identify the victims." 

"To think that, in my many visits to this town, I'd once had the opportunity to meet Jiang-furen… Who could’ve thought –– Ah!" The old man sighed, then added, "The rumor is, though, that you sought treatment for your esteemed mother [d] at Doctor Jiang's, but the medicine was wrongly used, and that that's what caused your esteemed mother's death. This..."

Liu-shiye took another sip of tea. Even the sound of him swallowing could be heard clearly by Xue Xian. 

Liu-shiye seemed to be trying to suppress some kind of emotion, but he also seemed to be in a thoughtful mood, as though he were up to something. After two consecutive sips of tea, he slammed the teacup loudly on the table, suddenly shouting, "Don’t bring this up again! The Jiang family got what they deserved. I don't harbor a grudge against them anymore! But my poor old mother. She'd worked hard for half of her life and had finally retired, and been able to enjoy a few years of joy, only to... Ah..."

Hearing how upset Liu-shiye was, the old man consoled him. "Yes, let's not talk about it. Quack doctors do such harm to people..."

Hearing this, Xue Xian frowned.

He suddenly remembered the night that he'd first arrived at the ruined Jiang compound. All that was left of the large mansion had been a pile of ruins and dead grass. The atmosphere had been gloomy and miserable. Although the compound never lacked sunshine during the day, there was an overwhelming air of grief about the place. As Xue Xian rode the winter wind into the courtyard, he had come face to face with Jiang Shining, who had been sitting in a corner.

That's when Xue Xian had realised that the inconsolable grief had been emanating from this rogue ghost.

But Jiang Shining had been extremely confused. He could only remember a few things from his lifetime, and nothing from after he'd died.

Xue Xian had asked, "What are you doing here all alone? When you die, you're supposed to go get reborn. If you wait too long in the yang realm and miss your opportunity, then you'll be in real trouble."

Jiang Shining had stared at him cluelessly for a bit, then said, "Oh, I'm waiting for my parents so that we can go together. They're getting old: they need me to take care of them."

Xue Xian had wondered if this rogue ghost had read too many books while alive –– had the books rotted his brain? It all sounded like fantastical nonsense.

"So where are your parents?" Xue Xian had asked, pained.

Jiang Shining had sighed. "They must've taken a wrong turn. Unfortunately, I don't have a proper body, so I'm not even able to leave this courtyard. If only I could go looking for them."

Xue Xian had stared at him for a moment, then had said, "Alright, I'll help you. But I have a condition."

"Tell me," Jiang Shining said.

"Let me stay here for a few days."

…

After Xue Xian gave Jiang Shining his new paper body, Jiang Shining had spent every night walking the town in search of his parents' ghosts. In three days, he had walked through the whole town twice, but found nothing. 

Xue Xian’s guess was that the Jiang parents had probably already moved on. Now, though, as he listened to Liu-shiye speak, he suddenly began to develop a vague new theory.

Just as Xue Xian wanted to climb back up to the bald donkey's shoulder and tell him his new idea, there was a movement in the front hall.

Liu-shiye said, "Right. Last time I told you that I obtained a new collector's item. [e] I wanted to show it to you, old friend, see what you thought. I'd almost forgotten. Come, come, let’s go to the back."

As he heard this, Xue Xian poked Xuanmin as hard as he could. 

But being made of paper, he had no strength at all. Though he'd wanted to poke Xuanmin, it was more of a light scratch.

Xuanmin felt the niezhang scratching at his hip and frowned. He turned to leave the hall, but as he did, he discovered that there was someone standing behind him. 

---

[a] Musuli uses the chengyu 牛鬼蛇神 (niu2 gui3 she2 shen2), literally “cow ghosts, snake gods” to describe the unknown, miscellaneous evil spirits that are chasing Xue Xian and Xuanmin.

[b] Musuli phrases this as, “the old lady with the small feet who was most likely a resentful ghost”. I opted for a shorter, punchier English phrasing because this part is supposed to be humorous. My beta Rogue inspired this phrasing!

[c] Musuli uses 高人 (gao1 ren2) here, literally “great/mighty/noble person”. Since this is not a title (not used to directly address someone) but a descriptor, I have chosen to translate rather than transcribe it. 

[d] In Chinese, the word is 令慈 (ling4 ci2), which is an honorific meaning “your esteemed mother”. 

[e] Musuli uses 雅物 (ya3 wu4), literally “elegant object”.