Chapter 194 - Second First Time (2)

Thea was similar to how I remembered her, but her girlish body hadn't yet developed into the shapes of a grown woman. She was younger than when I first met her.

My left hand had already found its way to her thigh, and I untied the ribbon of the nightgown to see the skin of her shoulders.

Her head was turned to the door, even though her eyes were closed. She was still thinking about Pericle barging in, about the effects of his intrusion...

«Don't get distracted,» I said after biting her right breast, light not to hurt her.

She returned my look with a red face.

«You're the one asking me to stay here,» I reminded her. «Yet you're now thinking about something else...»

I was offended by her wandering thoughts. She had time for something else while I was right there. I couldn't understand, on the spot, that she wasn't my Thea yet. She was just a young girl in a foreign land.

My selfish conscience didn't grasp that part, and I continued to look at her.

«You were so desperate that you clung to me when you thought we were being interrupted,» I continued.

Her face turned red again, and her shoulders moved up and down with her breathing. She opened her eyes wide, wondering how to answer.

Only at that moment, I finally understood that I didn't have the right to hold her.

She was seducing me with her innocent look and her hidden intentions. She was trying to transform me into her puppet to ensure her a safe position.

I was willing to give her all of that; I would have worked to make her wishes come true. I didn't need anything in return.

Yet, she didn't know it. She thought of me the worst, and she hoped to find some space where to settle.

I should have just stepped away, yet I waited for her reply for a while. I wanted to hear her voice for a few words more and then let her rest.

She had just arrived at the Palace after a week-long journey. She was tired, scared, and insecure.

It wasn't the right time to have sex.

I had to make her realise the situation, and she would have stepped back.

When she lifted her eyes to me, trying to understand my thoughts, I gulped. It wouldn't have been easy to leave, but I had to find the strength to do it.

«Will you change your idea again, Theodora?» I muttered. «I'm not to be played with...»

I grinned, trying to scare her.

She inhaled, reordering her thoughts.

When her eyes returned to shine with the light I was used to, I realised that she wasn't going to back off.

It was a Queen I was trying to scare, and it would have been more difficult than I imagined.

Even before she opened her mouth to answer, I knew it was over for me. I still was settled on leaving, but her solemn expression was a magnet that kept me at her side.

Ah, why was it so hard to convince a maiden to retreat?

I was staring at Thea with insistence, waiting for her words.

She would have told me that she wasn't all that sure, and I could have left without complaint. I shouldn't have kissed her in the first place.

What would she think of me from that point on? I just assaulted her like that when she just wanted to ensure her position.

She was scared that I complained to the Emperor and asked for annulment, and it was a rational fear. Too bad that I didn't find the strength to tell her that I wouldn't have complained to anyone.

She didn't have to make me happy, as my heart was already hers. But telling her that would have required explaining why I loved her, since when, and why.

«I haven't changed my intentions, your grace,» she replied.

Her breath was calming down, and her firmness was so damn alluring.

«I've always wanted this,» she added, then. As if the first sentence alone wasn't enough to make me reconsider.

I pressed her down with my weight on the mattress, and I stuck my tongue in her mouth to make her step back. If she panicked and told me to go away, I would have done it.

I just needed her to say it out loud, and I would have stopped harassing her. I would have left her time to accept me.

I bit her lip, hoping she would frown and push me away, but her complaint was soon soothed by my hasty assault.

She didn't struggle one bit but just continued to return my kisses with her shy tries. I caressed her leg, guiding it around my hip.

As soon as my fingertips landed on her smooth skin, all my struggles to hold back fell in the water.

She lifted her other leg on her own, and her breasts were pressed on my chest when she inhaled.

She split from me to take some air, and I kissed her neck, making her sigh. I pressed my tongue on a sensitive spot, and she let me sink my face in her skin. I had missed her scent, her softness, her cool fingers playing with my hair...

When my hand reached her butt, my instinct took over. She moaned when my hand squeezed, and her lips split to let her exhale. My free hand massaged her breast, and she sighed again.

Her eyes were closed, so I could not attempt at reading her mind, but I could tell she was focusing on those new feelings.

While tossing aside the clothes that were in the way, I continued to kiss her neck and shoulder. When I thrusted inside her, she arched her back and held her breath. Her head was turned to her side, so I didn't see her expression. Yet, I felt her legs' tight clutching, inciting me to move.

I moved again, and her nails stuck in my back. The hand on my head pulled my hair, and her sighs became heavier. Her breath increased in pace, hitting my ear after she turned to me.