Chapter 310 - A Young Heart (2)

Before sending all the ladies back to their homes, I have to talk with Eliza and make sure she isn't playing some trick to get the Emperor's attention. She wouldn't be the first to play hard to get, even though her plan is not working as she expected.

At the same time, it would be good to ask her what she desires.

The fact that I can't imagine a place where she would be treated better doesn't entail she'll like Ethiro as well.

After all, not all people are identical. We all have different purposes.

Just to think that I would never imagine a life without a crown before losing the war, yet now I don't care so much. Maybe, Eliza doesn't even desire a powerful position, to begin with.

It would be one in a million. And it would mean we can't let go of her.

She started making deviations to her strolls, all to make it harder to organise chance meetings.

I feel like I'm the one chasing after her now.

«I'll stay alone for a while,» I command the maids. «Do not come too close unless it's necessary.»

I want Eliza to feel as if our chat is intimate and emotional. Probably.

When she steps on the path, I can see her from here. I'm sitting on a bench, doing some embroidery under the sun rays.

I'm working on making Ls.

My husband's initial is already acceptable after months of training. Now, I want to make something for my daughter.

I wasn't planning to make my incompetence public, but it's for a greater cause.

Eliza spots me from afar, but she doesn't seem alarmed. After all, I've never approached her before. She only flees from his majesty, doesn't she?

She just raises a brow, surprised, but continues her walk, followed by her loyal maid. She doesn't have many servants, and she brought only this one to Ethiro.

Contrarily to her sister and most of the other ladies, who came here with whole delegations.

I wonder if it's because no one else was willing to tag along.

When she's nearby, I toss the embroidery aside and sigh.

«I can't take it anymore,» I whine. Loud enough to be heard, but not as much as to sound suspicious.

Eliza winces, surprised, and turns to me.

«Sorry?» she murmurs. Then, she stops her walk and turns to me. She curtseys with her elegant moves, and she greets me as per protocol. «Good afternoon, your highness.»

«Rise,» I murmur. «We're not in the Palace now; there's no need for such formalities. Rather, would you like to keep me company for a few minutes?»

She nods and sits next to me, still cautions in her moves and glances. She doesn't utter a word, so I will have to be the one guiding the conversation.

«How are you doing, lady Eliza?»

«Everything is all right, your highness.»

«I'm glad. The selection council was pleasantly surprised by your answers from last time. You're a competent young lady.»

«Thank you, your highness,» she replies, bowing her head to hide her expression. I have time, though, to spot some redness on her cheeks.

«No one has told you this yet?» I murmur, even though I know the answer already. «Are they all blind?»

«I'm afraid your highness is overstating my capabilities. It might have been by chance, right?»

«I'm not bad at judging people.» At least when they're not related to me.

«I wasn't trying to imply anything!» she says, in her defence.

«Your own personal opinion on yourself must be the one guiding you. You witness your capabilities and mistakes twenty-four hours a day. Don't let other people's words cloud your own self-esteem. I'm not saying to become stubborn either. Just find your own balance.»

«Balance is a word I find so often in the books I read,» she chuckles. «It's as if it was the answer to everything.»

«Oh, not everything but almost.» There are some topics that need firm decisions. «In life, though, it's necessary to often find an agreement.»

«A compromise?»

«Oh, no,» I chuckle. «A compromise is something both parties are unhappy with. An agreement is when you truly renounce something in favour of a greater gain. Like in marriage: sometimes, one has to set aside greed and ambitions to have a steady life.»

«Is that how you survived so far? By forgetting about revenge?» she asks. Then, she notices my look and covers her mouth. «I... I'm sorry, my mouth is too fast for my brain.»

Maybe, this is a bit more informal than what I thought it would be.

«I didn't really wish for revenge right from the start,» I sigh. «My only challenge was to adapt and become someone that isn't asked to make many decisions.»

«But your highness is an advisor to the crown!»

«I have not decided. I only counsel.»

The smart girl seems to understand the separation and nods her head.

«What's the difference?» I ask her.

«The responsibility,» she says, swift like a snake.

«His majesty has a liking towards you. But you don't reciprocate, do you?» I try.

She grabs the edge of the bench, wondering whether to get up. Her knuckles become white from the pressure, but her face is straight and cold.

«What's the matter?» I inquire, with the motherly tone I've heard from Duchess Prim so many times. «Are you afraid?»

«For the court, this selection is a game,» she says. «It's a way to spend some time. For his majesty, it's no different than picking fruits at a market. But for me, it's the door towards hell. I can't risk my reputation: I don't have lovely parents ready to cover it up and send me somewhere to marry with discretion. If I lose my good name here, my life will be over.»

What? Oh, she's misunderstanding the situation.

«His majesty is only fourteen,» I point out. For a girl, it's an age where romantic feelings start to blossom and her body changes. But boys are still children. «He's not seeing a mistress in you. Or a momentary entertainment. He's looking for an Empress.»

She widens her eyes.

«How... How can I trust you? And if that's the case, then there's no need to meet me in shady places.»

Oh, for goodness. I should have retained control over their meetings. The Emperor is scaring her like this. I thought a young heart knew better how to move. But, maybe, his majesty is just too young.

«What if someone sees? Even if nothing happens, my innocence will be questioned.»

«You have your loyal maid with you, don't you?»

«She's the only person between my ruin and me. Is she enough? A moment of distraction is enough to fall in despair.»

«Aren't you tired of living like this?» I ask her. She withstood it for years...

«I've got used to it,» she sighs. «I'm actually more nervous here where I can find some peace in my room or some discreet corner of the garden. Unless I receive unexpected visits, of course.»

Then, she starts panicking and looking for ways to leave. I can't say I don't understand her. But doesn't she see her qualities?

«Why are you so convinced you won't be chosen?» I ask. «You're not even considering it.»

«Does his majesty have such a liking to me? As to declare a nobody his future bride on a whim?» she exclaims in between chuckles.

«You are not a nobody. You're the daughter of a King.»

«But my mother isn't even in the family register. Her family can't give me backup. Nor education or a dowry for that.»

«Ethiro doesn't need a dowry. And your readings till now weren't wasted. I can't see a reason why not to pick you. That is, only if you want. I'm here to ask you.»

«Is it part of the protocol? Asking me? Or is it a test of some kind?»

«His majesty won't have any advantage from an unwilling bride. I'm asking you whether you want to continue the selection or not.»

«I won't risk my reputation just for a seat on the throne. I prefer a peaceful life with a husband that won't look down on me.»

«I'm not asking you to risk anything. Just tell me whether you are or are not willing to be wed to his majesty.»

«Any marriage is the same. I just don't want to get old in the Palace in Myrya, overlooked by servants and family members. As long as I can be the first wife, I'm willing,» she says.

«You're just too lucky that Ethirian law doesn't allow polygamy,» I chuckle.

«An Emperor will have mistresses and girlfriends. I understand how the world works. Even if I were married to an infidel husband, it wouldn't be much of a problem. As long as I'm treated like the legal wife and my children are officially sons and daughters of the house... I don't have many requests, do I?»

«You're quite reasonable,» I sigh.

Maybe, too reasonable.

But she's not unwilling. Which means that the only obstacle is his majesty's young ego.

«Just do something for me. It won't ruin your reputation. I'll talk with his majesty and explain your point of view. You won't have any surprise encounters anymore, I promise. But, next time you two meet, do something for me. It will be a public event, probably when the ladies are sent back home. You won't be alone.»

There's no way the Emperor won't glance at her a few times.

«When you meet his majesty's eyes, just smile.»