Chapter 317 - Mother's Duties

After greeting the two ladies and setting in motion the plan to make Lorene leave, I focus on the second part of my work.

The archives.

The rooms hosting the official documents are large, dusty, and rather dark. Most of the notes are uncatalogued, and some aren't in order by date. The most the keepers have done is to keep them sorted by year and subject. However, every box is a whole mess.

«I'd like to take a look at the documents from the year his majesty became Emperor,» I say to one of the young lads spending their training period.

They look at me with a frown until I show the pass the Emperor entrusted to me. With this, no more questions are asked.

I start from the recent documentation. I want to understand how to search for what I need without having to ask where to look.

My presence here isn't a secret, but what I look into should be kept private. There's no need to alarm the monsters. And I can't be sure the personnel is trustworthy. I'll just read around for today and explore the place, without any specific goal other than informing myself.

After looking at the edicts, laws, and imperial decisions from before the Emperor's death, I realise that I would have been an Empress now if only Alexander was a bit more greedy.

Yet, he was so desperate to meet me that he didn't dare to change the events to such a degree. I can imagine how everything went: he became too precious for the late Emperor to be sent for an arranged marriage in Polis.

They must have thought of someone else, maybe. Oh, in Alexander's place, I would have panicked so much in such a situation. But he managed to manipulate the events and have us meet all the same.

The late Emperor died suspiciously close to the day he declared he would make a Crown Prince of my husband. It means it was not natural.

Now, whose fault was it? If Alexander had anything to do with it, then I should let this matter slide. But if not...

Oh, I could try using this piece of information. But first, I shall confirm my family is safe.

Then, I focus on looking for traces of the Empress Grandmother's meddling. She didn't use any official means to settle his majesty on the throne; she didn't have enough influence.

Yet, by looking at the events, I can try to figure out her net of people. The loyalists to the crown are those keeping the throne stable. It would be better to empower them before the other two factions run wild.

The fact that Alexander is guiding one of the two is helping, but it makes everything more delicate. Is there any hope to forge an alliance?

After all, both the factions are loyalists. Just, a group of them doesn't acknowledge a bastard son as Emperor.

The only problematic faction is the Empress's one. She must have promised something to her followers. More territories, titles, stronger powers?

Probably all of that. Four years ago is too early to look for foreign meddling in.

I spend the whole afternoon in the archives, forgetting that I have a family to take care of.

When I get back, I find hell. Alexander is cuddling the little ball, walking in the room and talking to her. Yet, nothing helps.

Her loud cries welcome me from the hallway.

Even Kate is desperate. She tried feeding her some water with sugar, but my daughter isn't as stupid as not to know the difference.

«Hey,» I say, and her cry becomes less loud for a moment.

She doesn't stop until she finds my nipple, but her eyes are less red when I take her in my arms and talk to her.

Odd, I thought she didn't care much about me. Yet, this manipulative little thing knows what's useful for her survival.

Alexander sits next to me, exhausted. Kate runs away, happy to have a break.

«I'm sorry, I lost track of time,» I murmur.

«I thought I was going to become deaf,» my husband complains. «Our daughter has powerful lungs.»

«And a big stomach,» I murmur. When she's hungry, she doesn't think of anything else.

«But she's so pretty,» he then considers.

I roll my eyes and give the baby back to him. She's sleeping now.

«Do you think we should get a nanny?» I inquire.

I'll feed her by myself till the end, but what if I'm not around sometime? Lavinia shouldn't stay hungry just because I'm busy, and I don't want to bring her with me to the archive. There's too much dust there.

«I don't think we need it,» Alexander comments. «Kate is doing an awesome job. Isn't she?»

«Yes, of course, but today... I was a bit late, and she cried a lot.»

«Don't worry so much, Thea. Babies cry: that's how they survive. Nothing will happen to Vinnie just because you took your time to come back. If it doesn't happen too often, we'll bear with it.»

«But what if it does happen often?» I murmur. I don't think I would be able to ignore my child so much, but what if?

«She will get used to your habits sooner than you think,» Alexander chuckles. «It was a bit unexpected today, that's all.»

I nod, but I can't hide the frown on my face.

«Don't be too hard on yourself, Thea,» Alexander murmurs while caressing my cheek. «You're not a bad mother just because you come home late. All you're doing, it's because of us, of your family. If you need more time to finish your job, then we'll wait. More silently than this, I hope, but it's fine.»

I stop breathing for a few seconds. How could he read through me like this?

«Are you sure?» I murmur. Shouldn't my child be my priority?

How can he say I'm not a bad mother? It's not the first time I overlook my baby. Even Queen Theodora wasn't any better. She didn't see her son during the day, so he grew more attached to the Consort.

«Alexander, I'm doing my best,» I whisper. «But what if it's not enough? What if Lavinia starts hating me?»

«It won't happen,» he reassures me.

«Are you sure?»

«If she starts to hate you, I'll talk her out of it,» he says. «She's a good girl that listens to her daddy.»

This moron is always looking for a way to boost.

He gets up to leave Lavinia in the cradle, and then he walks to the bed.

«I've received a letter from my wife this morning,» he says with a big grin. His happiness is blinding me.

How can something so simple make such a difference?

«And? What did she write?» I murmur.

«She wrote dear husband,» he chuckles. «One word next to the other, do you believe me?»

What is he trying to say?

«What is so exceptional about that?» I ask him, my tone cold and warning. «Isn't it something that she says to you often? I'm sure she's not as stingy with words as you always describe her!»

«Oh, but seeing those two words written one next to the other is different, Thea. I will keep this letter for the rest of my life!»

Hey, those words aren't mine. I copied it from another letter. He should at least keep one I used my brain to write.

Oh, he doesn't have it yet. But I will write a long, passionate love letter. It's better than keeping that single line forever as a treasure.

«I will write you a real letter, Alexander. I just wanted you to realise that I know what you did.»

«What did I do?» he murmurs.

«You used the same letter on me. Twice.»

«Actually, four times. Even though the fourth time I didn't have time to...»

«And you don't find anything wrong with it?» I ask him. «Not even one bit?»

«What can be wrong?» he replies.

He's not feeling bad about it. Not to mention guilty. He's so at peace with his actions...

«So, you would do it again,» I sigh. «You're so shameless!»

He looks at me, and then a smart and wily grin takes the place of the happiness from before.

«My dear wife,» he starts. «Today, I found myself thinking...»

«Stop!» I exclaim. Then, I cover my mouth, realising that Lavinia is sleeping. After the crying from before, she must be exhausted.

But I don't want to hear her that desperate again.

«Are you sure, Thea?» he murmurs. «I want to tell you how I feel.»

«You didn't even have the trouble to write your words,» I realise. «You lazy, shameless husband.»

«But you like me the way I am.»

«Your self-esteem is so high today.»

«It's because my wife wrote me a letter.»

«I transcripted it from somewhere else,» I remind him.

«Whatever, it's something your hand wrote. It's precious.»

I sigh, surrendering to his charms.

«Your ethics are all messed up,» I comment while reaching him in bed. I nestle in his arms and lean my head on his chest.

«Wife, are you going to sleep this early?» he murmurs against my ear.

«Lavinia is sleeping not far from here,» I remind him. Is his memory broken or what?

«Then, be silent,» he decides and starts kissing my neck. «Your words were so touching that they earned you a reward.»

He disappears under the covers, still kissing my body from over the clothes. Then, when his lips find my skin, I cover my mouth with both hands.

This shameless husband of mine hasn't changed at all.