CH 197

In the face of illness, any attempt to hold on was like a praying mantis trying to stop a moving car*.

*(螳臂当车) Idiom referring to a futile attempt to stop something much stronger or more powerful than oneself, akin to an insect trying to stop a vehicle.

Lin Chen no longer struggled. His breathing gradually stabilized, and the soft-packed saline water was injected into his body drop by drop. He seemed to have passed the most severe shock period, but Xing Conglian knew that the matter was far from over.

He brushed the wet locks of black hair on Lin Chen’s forehead with his hand, but Lin Chen didn’t even have the strength to react.

Duan Yang patted him on the shoulder and said calmly, “Captain Xing, please come out.”

Xing Conglian didn’t know whether this was a necessary ceremony that every patient’s family member had to go through. They could clearly speak in the ward, and, given Lin Chen’s condition, he wouldn’t even hear them. Yet, he must be called out by the doctor and, through a thin door panel, make decisions that would determine the life and death of the patient.

He and Duan Yang walked out the door numbly. Every step he took was like stepping into a winter’s night that only got colder.

The hatch closed gently.

The people waiting at the door also looked concerned. He had seen those familiar faces one by one, whether it was Wang Chao or Xiao Wu, Zhang Long or Kang An… Those subordinates and friends who had fought side by side with him now seemed meaningless to him, making him unable to feel any sense of affection.

Wang Chao cautiously called out to him. The expression on his face seemed to hope that he would bring some good news. Xing Conglian turned his gaze to Duan Yang, and the doctor shook his head.

Zhao Hu handed over a pack of cigarettes. “They have been notified, but Zaratul is crazy. The entire area west of the Xazi Mountains is blocked. Those who deliver medicine can only come from the seaside, and the fastest way is to go against the current. It will take a day and a night.”

Xing Conglian looked at the warning “Smoking is harmful to your health” on the cigarette pack and didn’t pick it up. He stretched out his other hand and cut the cigarette in advance. He saw Duan Yang’s calm and lifeless face.

The young doctor looked at the stern of the boat and then walked over to him.

Duan Yang had obviously never smoked a cigarette before, so when he walked to the stern of the boat with the cigarette, he only stood there awkwardly. Xing Conglian took out a lighter and threw it over.

The hot and humid wind blew across the young man’s face. Duan Yang trembled with both hands as he lit the cigarette. After taking only a puff, he choked and coughed violently. Xing Conglian didn’t care about him. He just stood there against the stern guardrail, letting Duan Yang kneel on the ground, coughing desperately as if he were crying.

Xing Conglian turned his head and looked at the constant green trees on both sides of the river. He suddenly realized that they were actually beasts cornered by this terrifying greenery, struggling to find a slim way out.

Duan Yang was quiet. Although he trembled all over, he covered his face from beginning to end, and not a single tear flowed. He was just immersed in deep pain and helpless confusion, and Xing Conglian knew this feeling very well, because he was now almost only one foot away from falling into the same abyss as Duan Yang.

Now, he really needed someone who could tell him clearly that Lin Chen could survive through this.

Even if someone opened a horoscope and told him that Lin Chen would be in danger today, he would definitely turn misfortune into good luck. He would take it as a lifeline, but it was a pity that there was no such thing. They could only get through it by themselves, and no one would help.

Half of the cigarette in Duan Yang’s hand burned, and the wind was strong, speeding up the burning of the second half.

Xing Conglian squatted down, took out a cigarette, and flicked it into the dirty river.

Duan Yang took his time to glance at him with only dead silence in his eyes.

“Duan Yang.” Xing Conglian spoke slowly, calling the young man’s name for the first time. “No matter what you want to say next, I can only say that I don’t want to give up yet, and neither does Lin Chen. Therefore, I won’t accept any verdict-like words. Can we still think of a solution…doctor?”

Duan Yang clung to the railing tightly. When he heard the word “doctor”, Duan Yang suddenly looked up at Xing Conglian. After calming his emotions, Duan Yang sobered up and spoke with extreme difficulty. “Consultant Lin’s allergic reaction is too serious. Using penicillin again will inevitably lead to a more serious acute shock than just now, and he will die immediately.”

“So now what?” Xing Conglian asked quietly.

“Now, I still have a small amount of erythromycin* available.” When Duan Yang said these words, he didn’t bring any hope, but a deep sense of despair.

*Antibiotic used for treatment of a number of bacterial infections. This includes respiratory tract infections, skin infections, chlamydia infections, pelvic inflammatory disease, and syphilis.

“Sounds pretty deadly,” Xing Conglian sneered then laughed.

“First of all, penicillin is almost always the best choice for sepsis. Erythromycin is generally only used as an adjuvant medicine, and the dose I have now is too small to reach the amount required for treatment. This is why I didn’t choose erythromycin in the first place.”

“Continue,” Xing Conglian said.

“Now, Consultant Lin’s immune response has been triggered. Almost all literature guidance will say that the medication should be stopped immediately and similar drugs should be avoided to prevent further serious immune chain reactions. And his case clearly states that he’s also allergic to erythromycin, which means that if I try to use the desensitization method I just mentioned to treat him with erythromycin, there is a high probability he will immediately go into acute shock and die…” Duan Yang paused and looked at him solemnly. “I’ve just used up the last dose of epinephrine. If he goes into acute shock again, I will definitely not be able to save him.”

Xing Conglian quietly listened to Duan Yang’s narration. The doctor told him the cruelest facts in the simplest and most understandable terms. He thought for a while and asked, “What if we don’t use antibiotics?”

“He’s already had the incision on his hand, and I’ll do a drainage procedure on it later. Without antibiotics, he might not make it through the day, unless a miracle happens. Of course, if your people can bring the medicine earlier…”

“There will be no miracles, right?” Xing Conglian asked as he looked at Duan Yang’s bloodshot eyes.

“Do you think I will still believe in such a thing?” Duan Yang asked rhetorically.

Xing Conglian couldn’t answer. He thought the decision was difficult before, but it turned out to be just the beginning. Now the question of choice had become: should he let Lin Chen die immediately, or watch him slowly die in front of him?

Seeing that he didn’t answer for a while, Duan Yang said, “I’ll ask Consultant Lin. I also need to respect the patient’s opinion…”

“No need,” Xing Conglian interrupted. “The choice is in my hands. Let’s try again.”

Duan Yang looked at him with deep shock. They all knew that whoever made the choice would have to take responsibility for the death and live with the heart-wrenching regret that may come in the future.

……

When Lin Chen regained some consciousness from his severe allergy, he felt that there was a lot of crowding around him.

It was strange that in the short period of time when he was in a coma or fell asleep just now, he didn’t dream and there were no chaotic visions of dead people. He seemed to just be a traveler after a long journey. He saw a very comfortable and soft bed at the end of the desert, so he laid down and took a nap for a while.

It wasn’t too hot or too cold around; just a little crowded.

He opened his eyes slightly and looked around him. He saw someone lying on the other side of his narrow hospital bed with his head resting on his hand. Naturally, it was Xing Conglian.

He glanced at the hanging IV bag. The remaining amount in the pack and the sky outside the window told him that the scene he had imagined of sleeping and waking up cured of his illness had not happened and that only a short amount of time had passed.

“When can you stop being so smart?” The low, hoarse voice of Xing Conglian came from his left. “I was even thinking of tricking you into thinking you were better just now.”

Lin Chen glanced at Xing Conglian, who was still lying carelessly, while he could only express his dissatisfaction with a very slight and almost imperceptible voice: “I am a patient…”

“I know.”

“You’re sleeping here…and I sleep…where?”

“In my arms.”

Before he could react, Xing Conglian turned around, gently grabbed his waist, and dragged him into his arms with an attitude that couldn’t be rejected.

Lin Chen subconsciously wanted to struggle, but Xing Conglian clung to him tightly. He leaned behind his ear and said only two words in an extremely cold tone, “Don’t move.”

Lin Chen shuddered and calmed down in Xing Conglian’s arms.

Xing Conglian really did what he said.

He still had his cold lips pressed behind Lin Chen’s ear, trying to talk to him. “Where did you pick up such a kid?”

Lin Chen thought for a while and asked him, “Duan Yang?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a long story…”

“I don’t really want to hear it either.”

The strange jealousy in his tone was quite cute. Lin Chen shrank into Xing Conglian’s arms a little more, recalling the things they experienced together, and said to Xing Conglian, “He’s very good, but… just unlucky.”

“His brain isn’t very good either.” Xing Conglian’s tone was obviously poor.

“Do you need me… to intercede for him?” Lin Chen asked tentatively.

“No.” Xing Conglian’s voice was extremely cold. “Consultant Lin, I think we really need to deepen our understanding. Please believe that no matter how good a person is, if you put the lives of others before your own safety next time, I’ll definitely lock you up in chains, and you’ll never have to think about walking out the door again.”

Lin Chen didn’t know why the topic had shifted back here again, but if there was really another time, that would be really nice, so he said, “Well… be sure to lock me up.”

“You can only be by my side.”

“Okay.”

He felt that if he were physically allowed, they would probably talk together for a long time like they used to, as if it would never end.

When Xing Conglian was talking, he kept kissing Lin Chen’s ear. When Lin Chen said “no”, he lightly bit his earlobe. Lin Chen felt his ears were hot and his whole body was numb, so that he couldn’t move any longer.

He blinked, but Xing Conglian’s embrace was too warm, making him want to sleep again.

At this moment, Xing Conglian spoke slowly, and Lin Chen knew the most critical part was coming.

But there was no seriousness in Xing Conglian’s voice. He just said lightly, “Duan Yang said that penicillin can no longer be used, so we have to try again. But the next drug may provoke a more serious immune response. Once the desensitization fails, you will die immediately. However, you have no choice. I will let him come in for the medicine later.”

Lin Chen was stunned for an instant. He didn’t know where Xing Conglian had the courage to make such a decision on his behalf. It was too difficult. His lips trembled, and he could hardly speak.

Xing Conglian’s hands around his waist were tight. He turned around with difficulty, trying to reach out to hug Xing Conglian, but the moment he raised his head, Xing Conglian’s kiss fell.

The back of his neck was gently hugged, and the man smelled of mint tobacco. His lips and teeth were clean and chilly, like the coldness of the forest.

However, the kiss was soft and warm, like feathers brushing across the water or grass soaking in the sun. Lin Chen thought of the daisies and geraniums on their balcony and the scene when the petals slowly unfolded when the sun rose.

Xing Conglian sucked his lips gently, without making any further aggressive movements. Because they were so close, their breaths entangled, and even their heartbeats were almost audible.

Finally, Xing Conglian let him go.

“Lin Chen, come with me.”

Xing Conglian’s voice was so calm and indifferent, as if he were just asking him what they were going to have for dinner tonight.

Stay with me, live with me, and die together.

Lin Chen looked at him quietly without shedding any tears.