CH 96

The Emperor did not call her to the audience room, but to his office. He beckoned me and I went and stood before the Emperor.

“Sit down.”

“Thank you.”

“You may raise your head.”

The honor of sitting face-to-face with the Emperor would not be enjoyed by most nobles. She didn’t take that as an honor, but as she sat down across the table from the Emperor, her body stiffened. Still, she gathered her courage and raised her face.

“Well, I have something to tell you about Leone.”

“Yes.”

“Seeing what you said today, you must have come to know about Leone’s condition, too, right?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The Emperor opened his mouth in a locked voice. It seemed that the emperor had a night as tired as Leone’s. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth. The act of bringing out the words itself required a lot of courage and preparation. Still, Emperor Ganji, unlike his ordinary grandfathers, had a considerable sense of intimidation.

“Yes, His Highness the Prince-”

“Wait, before we talk about the details… how is that kid? He didn’t look good when I left yesterday.”

It was a loving voice. A little bit, she thought that the words might work.

“His Highness… He returned yesterday and regurgitated everything he ate.”

“It’s more serious than I thought.”

The Emperor’s face became distraught. It was clearly a face that was worried about Leone. 

Looking at that face, she thought of people who criticized each other because they didn’t understand each other, even though they didn’t hate each other. There was a distance that couldn’t be narrowed between beings from different worlds. Like the gap between Adler, who was willing to pay 20 million gold for his subordinates, and her, who trembled at 1 gold.

The Emperor… never was a villain determined to torment Leone, nor was he intentionally implanting trauma in him. Going away from the castle for a year to find Leone was also a loving decision for Leone from the Emperor’s point of view. As the Emperor of a country with weak imperial power, wasn’t it a big decision to vacate the castle? The Emperor simply took the way he lived as an Emperor, and it just didn’t work for Leone. Because the worlds of the two beings who have lived as humans and beasts were so different. The Emperor was wrong, but he was not wrong. It was just acting according to common sense. The ignorance created by the prejudice of the people of the world sometimes becomes violence and leaves scars on the few beings who deviate from the standards of the world.

So let’s not get too angry. She tried to calm her mind.

“He told me a strange story about wolves being in his family. Maybe it’s because of bad memories from childhood… How do wolves raise humans? Humans are just prey for them!”

“…”

“So, I’m thinking about taking him to see a doctor. When he was young, I couldn’t tell the details of his symptoms even when he saw a doctor, but now he can explain his condition, so the examination will be easier… What is your opinion?”

The promise to calm down was put to shame, and every word the Emperor said moved her heart. Delirium? Besides what? Did you not know the symptoms because you couldn’t speak when you were young? Couldn’t you have looked more closely? Even though she knew she couldn’t turn back time, she clenched her fists tightly. She didn’t mean to throw a punch, it was just to calm her mind.

“…Lord Leone.”

She gritted her teeth and somehow made a calm voice.

‘Let’s stay calm. If I die here, it will not end with my loss. Leone is left alone. Hang on, Trixie.’

“He is deeply traumatized.”

“The trauma was because I killed the wolves. It doesn’t make sense for wolves to accept humans as family.”

“Your majesty. I am… I want to tell you how I stabilized Lord Leone.”

“Stability…  okay. I was curious about that too. Did you fill the void left by his mother?”

“I guess you could see that. Just, Your Majesty.”

She met the Emperor’s eyes directly. A little hazy purple eyes. The same color as Leone’s, but very different eyes.

“From the beginning, I thought of Lord Leone as a dog that I could train, not human.”

It was a wordless remark even if she was taken for insulting the prince, but she couldn’t find a more accurate expression. The Emperor was looking at her with his eyes wide open. It wasn’t a thoughtful face, it just looked bewildered.

“Don’t you know that Lord Leone behaved like an animal?”

“Isn’t that a behavioral pattern acquired to survive in the wild without learning to speak or being educated? He can’t really be a beast.”

“But Your Majesty. When I comforted Lord Leone, when I first met him and held out his hand. Would Lord Leone have really calmed down like that if I treated him in a human way?”

“Of course. Because he is human.”

“Then why did Lord Leone never calm down, including all the years he was imprisoned at the foot of Mount Meto? He has nightmares every day, and rushes to kill Mr. Adler, who has taken care of him for a long time. Why would he do that?”

“…”

“Just because I took care of Lord Leone with love, the person who behaved like an animal cannot suddenly stand on her own two feet. And since Lord Leone was not human in the first place, he had to learn how to walk on two feet and speak separately.”

“Do you dare to tell me that the prince is a beast? Like the other nobles outside?”

The Emperor asked me back in a loud voice. He had such a bloody face that she thought she was going to be dragged away and executed.

“Sorry if I sounded rude.”

“Rude? My, the Count of Wickingham, spoke well of you, so I expected it. Now-“

“But Your Majesty. Treating Leone like a human is something I have already failed for a long time.”

“What?”

The Emperor’s anger was growing thicker. She cut him off in the calmest voice possible. It was absurdly disrespectful, but she was more afraid that the Emperor, who was overcome by anger, would block his ears and prevent her words from reaching him. She wanted to persuade that person to give Leone a comfortable day. This was truly a gift only she could make, only she could give.

“They thought of him as a human being and tried to convince him, but when that didn’t work, they said they couldn’t figure out the cause and put him to sleep. It was a method that had never been successful in the first place. I’ve been insisting on that for a long time. If so, shouldn’t we treat him according to his actions and the essence he has shown?”

“…There are limits to what you can see.”

“Of course, I don’t know exactly how to treat animals. It worked, but in retrospect, it wasn’t a sure way either. It was clumsy, but…”

She appealed incessantly. No matter what the Emperor said, she cut it off and continued with what she had to say. As a result, all kinds of emotions flooded her head. It was as if she could feel the surface of his emotions slithering just barely. Whether it’s crying or anger, if anything came out, it would be difficult to continue talking, so she pressed it down somehow and said.

“I just want Lord Leone to be happy. At this moment, and in the future. I don’t want Leone to become a ‘human’ and grow well. I just want you to be healthy and happy.”

Eventually, the tip of her nose turned cold. She really hoped Leone was happy. He was a man with too much pain. Even though it hurted so much, it was a friendly person who smiled for her and shared warmth. She wished the world would be a little more kind to him.

She hoped the floor he stands on would be stronger than now. She wanted to make the reality that even if he ran on all fours, or someone climbed on him, he would not be able to stand under his feet.

“Whether Lord Leone is a wolf, a human, or a dog. I hope that whatever beings are recognized as Lord Leone himself. Lord Leone is a good person in her own right, and a wonderful being.”

“…”

“Isn’t it because this feeling of mine worked for Lord Leone that he got better?”

The Emperor was speechless. Confusion raged in the Emperor’s eyes.

‘Do I have the right to say these things?’

Meanwhile, after she finished speaking, a feeling of guilt crept in. She wanted Leone to tell her about his trauma, so she taught him to speak. That was the beginning. She didn’t want to mold him into a human mold, but as a result, she was the one who started to mold him into a human mold. Knowing his trauma, she felt that she had helped push him through a traumatic hell. But anyway, she didn’t treat Leone’s appearances during the past time as nothing. The Emperor forgot about Leone’s actions as a child, roughly treating them as ‘trauma, scars, and unknown things’, and now he was forcing Leone to ‘because he has changed like a human, treat yourself as his family’, ignoring all the signs and scars he showed. Even though he was overly concerned about his symptoms, he didn’t change his attitude by saying, ‘I’m a human now, so there’s no such thing as a wolf in the past!’

Leone was a person called Leone, a dog and a wolf. He may not be all three, and he may be all three at the same time. His name existed and he was breathing straight, but wasn’t it too unfortunate to deny that figure and cling to ideological definitions? Leone’s life would be bright enough without that name and definition.

“I believe that His Majesty also wants Lord Leone to be happy. If you are a family.”

If you’re a family member, would you ignore the child’s struggles and continue to be stubborn? She twisted and stabbed the Emperor.

“Of course… I want him to be happy too.”

Even though she showed a rather disrespectful attitude, the Emperor didn’t even care and responded urgently as if making an excuse. His anger had subsided, and the Emperor’s eyes dimmed. It seemed that the shaking was successful.