CH 3

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003: Old Constipation

The four walked in silence, and after flying for a long while, Su Tingyun felt that she was hungry beyond belief. These three fairies had told her that the cultivation world had everything, so there was no point in her bringing any of her things. This was why they had only prepared a set of newly washed clothes for her, and nothing else. However, she still secretly hid away a small jewelry box and some pasties inside the bundle. At the moment, she had already finished eating all the pastries, yet there still wasn’t any sign of them about to arrive. Below them was a vast expanse of ocean. It was essentially uninhabited, so this obviously meant that there was no inn here to stop at to rest for a while.

The three female cultivators couldn’t help but laugh after hearing the gurgling sounds of Su Tingyun’s stomach: “Our apologies, we had long stopped eating many years ago and do not eat cooked food anymore, so we had not prepared consumables for mortals. There’s still one day left until we arrive at Wulian Mountain, I hope Madam Su can persevere a little more.”

Su Tingyun: “…”

Su Tingyun really wished she could curse out loud. These three were deliberately messing with her. Previously, her family had prepared food and tons of other stuff, but they just had to say that the cultivation world had everything, causing her to not bring a single thing. And now, they were actually saying that they didn’t have food, and want her to starve for two days.

How can an old seventy year old lady endure such torment? Even though Su Tingyun was angry, she still didn’t dare to say anything, because she felt that since these three female cultivators dared to treat her this way, it might perhaps mean that that cheap husband of hers didn’t value this husk of a wife. This might just be prompted by a sudden thought of remembering that he still had a lover back in the secular world, and wanted to wave his sword around. Currently, her old life was in pinched between someone else’s fingers, so it was better to just endure it one step at a time.

Fortunately, the old lady normally had lavish meals with generous amounts of meat and fish. She had piled up quite a bit of fat in her body, so Su Tingyun could endure it somewhat. It was just that once they arrived at Wuliang Mountain her legs had gone soft; she didn’t even have the energy to move her legs. This Wuliang Mountain just had to be tall, high up the clouds, with several thousand steps of stairs. With the addition of some stupid rule that required a first timer to walk up the steps one at a time, Su Tingyun felt that she had some thoughts of wanting to die.

She was current a seventy year old lady!

And she hadn’t eaten for two days!

Making her climb up there was not making her climb up Wuliang Mountain, but rather, death’s road toward hell’s guillotine! Su Tingyun raised her spirits to stand up. At this moment, she looked at those several thousand steps and the three cultivators with smiling faces. She rolled her eyes and directly spat on the side of a stone step. Afterwards, she began walking, directly going to go make a report to the king of hell.

“Senior sister, she…”

“This is the bottom of Wuliang Mountain, we mustn’t make any careless mistakes.”

Su Tingyun closed her eyes. Even though she couldn’t see what was going on in the outside world, she felt as though someone had put something in her mouth. Once that liquid slid down her throat, Su Tingyun felt her entire body warm up, as though a warm current was flowing past every bone in her body, sweeping her exhausted body clean. Her stomach was no longer empty as it received nourishment, and her entire mind felt refreshed.

Damn, they had such a nice thing, but never took it out to feed her until she was almost near death.

“Madam Su, how do you feel now?” The cultivator asked sharply. Su Tingyun was originally weak, so it did seem real when she pretended to faint. Now that she felt refreshed, she naturally could not pretend anymore. They didn’t ask if she had awakened, and directly asked how she was feeling instead.

Su Tingyun could only open her eyes and say: “Feels much better.”

“This is actually really precious White Jade Dew. I usually wouldn’t even be willing to drink it myself, giving it to you is simply such a waste.” The one who spoke was still that Chu Yuerong. All along the way, she was frigid with irony and scorching mockery. Compared to the other two women, she was more frank. Even if she wasn’t stupid, she was stupid.

“Actually, even though White Jade Dew is good, it is not suitable for Madam. Since Madam had never abstained from eating before, your body would react too greatly when taking the White Jade Dew. Of course, we did not plan on giving it to Madam, it was just that Madam looked too weak earlier, so…” A sullen expression appeared on Chu Ling’s face after she said that: “Those who have come for the first time must ascend its steps on foot, this is a custom since the very establishment of the sect. No one is allowed to violate it. Back then Spiritual Master Ling Wu was heavily injured, yet he still persevered up the mountain on foot.”

Su Tingyun looked at the erect mountain which shot through the clouds, at the marble white flight of stairs whose summit she was unable to see, and asked with a tremble: “How many steps does it have?”

Ninety thousand and nine. There’s actually quite a bit more of tests to temper one’s willpower…”

Su Tingyun’s legs went soft, and almost directly kneeled down.

“And since Madam has taken the White Jade Dew, it seems that we must stop for a while at the foot of the mountain. We’ll have to wait until your body is well to attempt to go up the mountain.”

Not far from the bottom of Wuliang Mountain was a row of bamboo houses. There were disciples on night watch here, and these bamboo houses were where they lived. At the same time, those who wish to enter Wuliang Mountain’s order could also temporarily reside here before the sect’s disciple examinations.

It was now April. The ninth of next month would be Wuliang Mountain’s Recruitment Assembly which only happens once every ten years. Thus, at this time, many cultivators had already filled those rows of bamboo houses.

Su Tingyun was lead by Chu Ling and company over, and was then given a house.

After setting up their living arrangements, the three told her they were returning to report back to Spiritual Master Ling Wu, and that Su Tingyun could wait here for now. Once the three left, Su Tingyun prepared to take a look around the area. As soon as she came out, she heard some gossip float over.

“Who is that old woman? Don’t tell me she also wants to join Wuliang Sect?

“Wuliang Sect would even accept someone that old? Impossible!”

“Doesn’t look as though she can cultivate at all, how strange.”

……

Su Tingyun had become this place’s odd eccentric. Fortunately, she had thick skin and remained calm. When she was being discussed about, she could still act as though nothing had happened as she surveyed the area. She was time and time again shocked by strange things, as she was overwhelmed by things she had never seen before.

“Wow, this grass can actually walk.”

“What’s this? It can actually talk.”

“Whose sword is this that’s flying all over the place, what if it stabs into someone?”

Su Tingyun spun around in a circle and only felt that her eyes weren’t enough. A xianxia world was indeed not ordinary, there was surprise in every corner, too much the eye to take in. Once she left the bamboo house, her stomach suddenly felt sore, so she quickly asked around for where the latrine was. Luckily, this place was the foot of the mountain, where new disciples had gathered. There were some who had not started abstaining, so there were a few outhouses available to the public. Otherwise, even if she wanted to poop, she wouldn’t have anywhere to go.

Su Tingyun anxiously charged toward the latrine. This time, her waist didn’t hurt, nor were her legs sore, she probably broke the world record for running at her age. Once she charged into the latrine and took off her pants to squat, only a world-shaking sound was heard as an overwhelming stench instantly burst out.

The old madam ate many greasy foods, so there were many impurities within her body. White Jade Dew had a body refining effect, so it attacked her bones and cleansed her marrow. It just unblocked all those many years of old constipation out at once, so it could be imagined just how much it stunk, as it completely smogged up the surrounding vegetation.

Su Tingyun now understood what Chu Ling meant. White Jade Dew was a strong purgative, it made her poop until her legs went soft, until she stank of feces from head to toe. Every time she felt a bit better and wanted to stand up, just as she pulled up her pants, she had to squat down again. Ultimately, she squatted above the latrine pit for a full day and night until her feet lost perception.

Once she intended to struggle back to the bamboo house with great difficulty, she was met with many eye rolls along the way. In the end, she was informed by Wuliang Mountain’s night watch disciples that the odor on her body was too strong, that she had to clean up before she was able to entire the bamboo housing…

Su Tingyun felt totally out of sorts.

Good thing she had a dark skin tone at the moment, with lots of aged spots, or else her embarrassment would’ve been seen through due to her heated red face.

Su Tingyun allowed someone to hand over her cloth bundle, and was pointed to place where a lake was supposedly located by a kind child with a pinched nose. That child said that it was just up front, and not too far away. In the end, she dazedly walked for a full two hours until she saw the lake. Fortunately, that White Jade Dew had a body strengthening effect, otherwise, she would’ve just died before reaching the lake.