CH 29.3

Chapter 29.3: Victory Claimed Through Steps

“You were looking for me?” Five simple words came out mildly from Su Lijiang’s mouth, yet it crushed Su Tingyun’s remaining imposing aura by half.

She lowered her head and looked at her toes. She hesitated a bit before she was able to summon up her courage and lift her head. “The past, was my mistake.”

When her words fell, the wind seemed to instantly stop. The rustling sound of the leaves vanished, the birds and beasts disappeared. Even the clouds floating in the sky seemed to have stilled their movements. Su Tingyun felt as if she had entered a sealed space that confined all of the surroundings within it.

Su Lijiang was still the same Su Lijiang. The surroundings seemed to have frozen, only the corner of his robe would occasionally flutter. There was probably wind blowing.

He didn’t speak, but Su Tingyun felt cold. It was as if she’d been dropped into an ice cave. The intangible, perhaps involuntary pressure he gave off was already enough for Su Tingyun to feel very uncomfortable. This reaction also allowed Su Tingyun to confirm that he minded the incident back then. He minded it very much.

“If you brought me here for the sake of killing me for revenge, then you should just do it!” The old lady took a step forward and even heavily flung back her sleeves.

Su Tingyun’s heart beat rapidly. She was just gambling. “Su Lijiang, I’d rather die by your hand rather than be killed by others.”

Su Tingyun waited for the storm to descend. However, even after waiting for a long time he still didn’t speak. Her courage slowly drained away from her chest. Just as she felt was feeling a little flustered and was about to lower her head, Su Lijiang, who was standing on the stone steps, spoke.

“You saved my life.”

“I was once… very grateful for your kindness.”

What was it like back then?

He had been covered all over with cuts and bruises and there had even been a knife slashed at his throat. He couldn’t speak or move; at that time, he felt that death was imminent. Fighting surrounded them on all four sides. They had hidden themselves in the deep mountain forests, so there was no place to get treatment at all. All he could rely on was the bits of medicinal herbs that Wei Yun had found. As for the rest, he just forcibly endured it. As for Wei Yun, she couldn’t bear to even use a bit of the medicinal herbs on herself. So he felt touched and had once thought about how to repay her. He had also once considered that idea. So what if he didn’t love Wei Yun? She had taken off his clothes to treat him. No matter what, she was a woman. He had thought, if they survived it all, he would probably marry her.

Wei Yun recovered much faster than him. While he was still weak, almost lifeless and incapable of moving, she had already become able to hunt.

The events that happened after were the gray-colored memories that he meticulously worked to forget and bury deep in a corner of his mind. However, due to Master’s request, he had to dust those memories off. The incident that happened to Wei Yun that night outside the Book Repository served to open the iron box that he had kept locked inside his heart. It was like the demon in his heart was let out.

During his recent cultivation period, he had been incapable of truly calming his heart. This was extremely detrimental to his cultivation progress and for the time being he couldn’t attack the next stage.

Su Lijiang suddenly felt like he understood his Master’s intention.

This gnawing matter has always been present in his heart. It was impossible to keep it hidden away. Even if it didn’t break out right now, that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t later. When he tackled the Nascent Soul Stage or even the Crossing Tribulation Stage, these memories were bound to break out and become the internal demon that blocked his progress. At that time, the rebound would definitely be even stronger. Rather than that, it would be better to deal with it earlier.

He looked at this old acquaintance in front of him who has already aged and discovered that he couldn’t separate his feelings of owing her from hating her very clearly. At that time, she had said she loved him. Thus, she recklessly wanted to be with him no matter what and wanted to have a child with him. Then, without regard for his feelings, she raped him. Su Lijiang had never loved before, he couldn’t understand that feeling. However, though he had never loved anyone before, he did have the time available every few days when he had been young. While reading the verses in the poems, he had imagined the person that would fill his heart.

Based on what the books said, love should be a very wonderful thing.

In the sky, one would wish to be birds that flew wing to wing; on the earth, one would wish to be two trees that grew as one. However, what Wei Yun’s love brought him was humiliation. It became his stocks and chains, the prison cage that trapped him. And now, it was becoming his internal demon.

At this time, this moment, Wei Yun was standing in front of him.

She apologised, and said that if he wanted revenge, he should just take it.

Her eyes were very clear and bright; they didn’t repulse him like they did in the past. Those eyes didn’t contain the expression which they did when she – because of infatuation and a desire to have children – stripped him of his clothes, drugged him, and forced herself onto him.

It had been fifty years. She has already forgotten all of that past, yet he was still trapped in those memories.

She said, the past was her wrong.

Su Lijiang abruptly lifted his hand and sent his palm towards her forehead. This strike would be enough to crack open her brains in a fatal blow.

The wind screamed as that palm flew towards her head. Even if Su Tingyun wanted to dodge, she couldn’t. Hence, she simply closed her eyes and accepted the imminent death. Truthfully, there was that split second in which she felt that she didn’t want to continue living in this world. It was too tiring. Living here was seriously too tiring.

Perhaps, death was a sort of freedom.

The wind created by that palm was so fierce and there was even a bit of silvery light on that palm, so it’d definitely be able to kill her with one smack. Not to mention, it probably wouldn’t hurt that much?

It probably wouldn’t hurt. This was the only thought left in Su Tingyun’s mind. However, she waited for a long time, yet pain and death still didn’t arrive. Su Tingyun cautiously opened her eyes and saw a self-mocking smile on Su Lijiang’s face. The hands that he had hidden inside his sleeves trembled slightly as he said softly, “Master said I wasn’t a true person of the cultivation world. Due to the fact that I came from the mortal realm, my cultivating mentality is unsteady. I had never thought it so.”

He shook his head. “Eight out of every ten people in this world have probably suffered experiences that tormented them even more than mine did, yet they’re still living on well. For the sake of a long life, for the sake for pursuing the great Dao, they continue to tenaciously cling onto life and are not chained down by their internal demons.” Su Lijiang sighed and turned to bow towards the main hall. “Master was right. I have been possessed by an internal demon.”

After he finished speaking, he turned around again. “If I kill you, all it proves is that I couldn’t let it go. ‘What remains unseen is deemed to be clean.’ That is nothing more than deceiving others and deceiving oneself.”

Su Lijiang looked to the old acquaintance in front of him and said, “It wasn’t that I wanted to bring you to Wuliang Mountain. I only did it at my master’s request. He is currently in seclusion.” After telling Wei Yun the truth clearly, Su Lijiang paused for a moment before he continued, “You should stay in the main hall of Heaven Firmament Peak. I’ll treat you as an honored guest. If you have any requests, you can tell me directly. Once the wind season passes, I’ll send you back? How is it?” He can only treat this as an opportunity to learn his own nature that Master had arranged for him. Fleeing from it was not a solution. Only by confronting it would he have the chance to truly resolve it.

Su Tingyun suddenly felt like crying a little.

She didn’t die.

Although she had thought about dying to solve all her problems, it was because she had been in despair. Who would want to die if they could live? It was just that Su Lijiang’s master was the Supreme Elder of Wuliang Sect, meaning that he was the strongest person in Wuliang Sect. So why would he pay attention to Wei Yun who was in the mortal world?

Was it really just for the sake of tempering his disciple’s mentality?

Su Tingyun felt a bit suspicious but she couldn’t think of any possible reasons. Thus, she could only resolve to plan for things as she came across them. She had been able to get a promise that allowed her to live so she didn’t have to worry about death for the time being. Her tautly stretched nerved finally relaxed. Finally, she could release a breath of relief.

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Credits: Translated by Chiyomira, Proofread by Sigil