Translated by Kollumceti of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
When a striped zebra (big mistake)turned one year old, the world was peaceful.
This so-called peace meant that the interactions between the Capital Star and the Desolate Star had become more and more harmonious. Monsters could swagger around the Capital Star and dine and dash at a restaurant without being beaten to death by hunters or adventurers or bored people.
Of course, in actual fact, they only had two options after dining and dashing – 1. Paying for the meal by working as mascot; 2. Pay for the meal by working as a guardian beast.
If neither of the above could be done, it was okay to tie it up and sell it to a famous cute beast store in the Dark Street. In any case, most people would not kill beasts any more. After all, who knew if a big beast would come and take revenge for killing the small one?! There were too many beasts that were related somehow or other. Fuck, this was an area where human beings could not compete in.
In the No. 138 residence in the Dark Street, JinYu looked at his own kid who was happily bouncing around on the ground with a group of beasts, and frowned.
The frown lasted so long that Qi XiaoYao, XiaoBai, BaoZi and the rest could not bear to play with each other anymore. At last, they could only bounce up to Big Boss Jin and and sit down. Each and every one started at their boss/father with a tilted head.
When Cheng Liang and Li Xiao come in with the Big-Tailed Wolf and Little Green, what met their eyes were a group of beasts sitting in a row. The sight of the beasts arranged from big to small with tilted heads was enough to kill people with their cuteness. When the Big-Tailed Wolf and Little Green saw this, they excitedly ran over to join the fun and sat at the back with their heads tilted. JinYu was so angry that Cross-Popping Veins appeared on his head when he saw this; where did these two moronic beasts jump out from?!
“I say, Xiao Jin, what’s the matter with you? The world has been peaceful, prosperous and harmonious recently.” Cheng Liang smiled widely and walked to JinYu’s side and hooked his arm on his shoulders. Then JinYu’s idea caused him to hit the wall.
Recently, his mental strength had increased with his mental endurance. Could it be due to his mental state being strong, so it was beneficial for cultivating mental strength?
Shaking his head, he quickly eliminated this type of unreliable idea. JinYu felt rather abnormal recently, but it would never be because his brain was abnormal.
“Oh, I’ve been quite free lately.” JinYu cautiously spoke.
“Ha! I got it! It must be because Qi QingLin didn’t bring you along to participate in the development and interaction meeting on the Desolate Star, so you are feeling empty, lonely and cold, pfff—!!”
This time, Cheng Liang was buried in the ground by a certain savage whale, who even turned to Li Xiao and said, “Remember to ask someone to repair the floor and house for me later.”
Seeing JinYu’s appearance, Li Xiao firmly frowned. Now this fish was definitely in a period of irascibility due to being sexually frustrated. It was better not to provoke it if possible, this was the truth. For a stupid fool who brought about his own destruction like Cheng Liang had, he really felt that there was no need to care about him.
“I’m here to tell you something. I think you’ll be very happy after hearing it.” Li Xiao saw Cheng Liang struggling bitterly as JinYu’s precious son did his utmost to bury his head in sand and calmly turned his head. Out of sight, out of mind.
“The moguls from the Dark Street have indicated that they’ve been so bored that their balls are aching, so they want to have a party. What do you think?”
Jin Yu’s eyes brightened when he heard this. Oh my, this was great! To be honest, he had been so bored that his balls were aching too.
“A Dark Street party? Do you know what are the events?”
Seeing JinYu’s interest, Li Xiao was also rather happy. “It’s said that there’s a striptease competition, an eating competition, who knows and so on. There’s also a streaking competition. What do you think?”
JinYu, “…”
Moguls from the Dark Street, this was just collectively showing your lower limit, you’re all just abandoning your moral principals!!
JinYu opened his mouth with slight difficulty, “It somewhat broke my three views.”
Cheng Liang who had managed to climb out after much difficulty made an uproar, “This is nothing compared to how long that something something Da’s XXOO lasted for. You have to know that this was done by the moguls that had no moral principals, and in the end, the one who lost even uploaded a naked photo onto the Light Network.”
Although he had greatly acknowledged how unprincipled the moguls of the Dark Street were, hearing such glorious deeds again made JinYu roll his eyes. However, as he rolled his eyes, they suddenly turned into brightly glittering starry eyes.
“Speaking of! I have an idea! ” JinYu’s eyes were sparkling, “We can earn purple gold coins!”
Upon hearing this, Cheng Liang and Li Xiao who had been planning on pooling money to buy energy stones stiffened. Then they surrounded JinYu, “What’s the idea? Let’s hear it. Then we will split it forty-sixty!”
Thus, a campaign that would last for the next hundred years was wretchedly born due to a certain whale being so bored that his balls ached. Though such a campaign caused the moguls from the Dark Street to experience bitter hatred, and they wished to gleefully get rid of a certain whale, they were utterly helpless.
To be honest, the existence of the moguls from the Dark Street seemed to be an unforgivable sin. In some ways, this campaign had made outstanding contributions in improving the impression of the Dark Street moguls.
The fourth of April. This was a day worth remembering.
Under the joint efforts of JinYu, Zhang LiangShan, Cheng Liang and Li Xiao, a rarely seen party was held in the Dark Street on this day.
The venue of the party was the entire Dark Street and after repeated considerations, the attractions of the party consisted of the following events: The first event: A beauty physique competition. As the name suggested, it was a competition among the inhabitants of the Dark Street for the person who had the most beautiful physique. A beauty physique King and Queen would be selected, and the reward was a bottle of high grade sperm whale essential oil that belonged to the valuables collection of a certain mogul.
The second event: The King of Eaters competition. The only gold medal restaurant in the Dark Street would provide ten super large portions of various kinds of food. The one who could eat ten portions of food in the shortest time and run one hundred meters without vomiting would win. Finally, the reward was a year of free lunch coupons at the rice bowl restaurant. (Note: no wastage of food).
The third event: Rapid-answer quiz. Instinctively answer a set of precisely compiled examination papers. If the final answers were all in line with the requirements, the Dark Street mogul would give an encouraging speech on behalf of Major General Zhang LiangShan, and award a statue made of purple gold coins. Please be sure to do your best.
The fourth event: Risky Streaking. For participants, please be cautious. PS, this event would be held in the back of the Dark Street. As this was an internal competition, it cost a lot of purple gold coins to watch closely from the sidelines.
The three generations of the Ten Great Clans that consisted of the old, middle-aged and young people, who were duped into attending the event as a way to relive boredom, looked at the pamphlet in their hands. The complexity of their hearts could not be expressed in words. One must know that many of the moguls here were their little brothers / relatives / even distant relatives. Was the party for the purpose of telling them that the moguls were all spiritually rebelling due to the poor treatment?!
What’s more, why had the people from the army and government come here to join in the fun? And what was up with that group of rich and powerful people?!
All right, let’s not talk about these onlookers. The main point was that they were great personages that would be greeted by groups of people everywhere who bowed and fawned on them. Why did they have to queue to buy admission tickets at the entrance of the Dark Street?!!!
“Dad, we have to pay. Are we still going in?” A youngster from the Ten Great Aristocratic Families spoke to his father. He had just asked about the ticket fee. Fuck, this was practically daylight robbery!!
The youngster who asked the questions was slapped on the head by his father: “Rubbish! We are already here! Do you take your father, your grandpa and grandma to be that idle? You’re still not going to buy tickets?!!”
“Yes…” That youngster’s expression was uglier than weeping. His one year’s pocket money ah!! This damned Dark Street!!
It had not been easy to wait for the Ten Great Clans, the rich and powerful, the army and government, and the VIPs to enter the Dark Street. The door of the Dark Street completely closed with a loud bang. Just when all the people who entered in thought that there was going to be a collective robbery / coup d’état / armed rebellion in the Dark Street, a music that was so loud it could flip the heavens echoed. Then, Cheng Liang’s voice rang out in the entire street, “Below me is the First Street, where our beauty physique competition is about to start. May all participants and spectators mentally and physically prepare themselves. The competition will start in ten minutes!”
“Fuck. They don’t even provide a guide?!” The youngster from the Ten Great Aristocratic Families exclaimed again and was beaten again.
“There’s no guide and you’re still not hurrying and ask where the competition is?! Do you think that Lao Zi, your grandpa and your grandma are so free?!”
“…” Shan BaiLu expressed that he must have had a brain fart to bring his family to the Dark Street to participate the party! Even if his leader had told him not to come by himself, if his eldest brother was leading them, he would definitely not be beaten by his father!!
After impatiently waiting for Shan BaiLu to find the venue of the competition and lead the family over, the first scene that met his eyes nearly made Shan BaiLu choke on a mouthful of saliva—
Fuck, what was that! Wasn’t that a monster! What was with this woman that had a loli’s face, yet the muscles on her body were even more robust than the strongest bodyguard in his family?! The man next to her, are you sure you are a man?! Was it really all right to have such a valiant face that was matched with that delicate and boneless body?!
“…” The world was crazy ba.
“Little Uncle, Little Uncle! Niu Niu wants to be like that big sister in the future!”
Shan BaiLu saw his niece staring at that muscled loli in admiration. He fiercely rubbed his face and told himself to calm down, “Niu Niu, you are mistaken. Those two people have actually changed their heads. They are remodeled people.”
“Ah?!”
God, San Qing Buddhas, please forgive me. I can’t watch my niece walk onto a road of no-return!
In the end, the loli muscle woman won the women’s beauty physique contest, while the men’s award… was won by her husband.
Looking at the two people on the stage, Shan BaiLu expressed that this is the real husband-and-wife-resemblance!!
“Cough, the beauty physique competition is over. Next is the King of Eaters competition. May everyone please move to the Second Street.”
“You’re still not-”
“I know Dad you don’t have to say it I’m going to look for a seat!” Shan BaiLu rapidly escaped. His father wouldn’t be able to beat him this time, right?
As a result, when Shan BaiLu came back to lead people over, he was slapped again, “Why didn’t you finish listening to your father, I, speak?”
“%*…!”
“Ah, look, Little Uncle! There’s so much delicious food! I want to eat it!”
Shan BaiLu’s nephew stared at the table with a mountain-high pile of the noodles and dishes. Shan BaiLu expressed that the stress/pressure was as big as a mountain. Other oddities were easy to handle, but excuse me, may I know what is that black and white striped zebra look-alike sitting at the competitor’s long table!?
Was the boss finally going to prove that his whole family were all chowhounds?!
Qi XiaoYao raised his small head and stood on top of the long table, facing his father who was sitting opposite at the panel of judges. If JinYu’s face was not so black, little friend Qi XiaoYao’s expressed that he would be even more happy.
“Hiss, bro, this, this, will little nephew be okay? He will be one year old either today or tomorrow, right?” Wasn’t it too cruel to let a one year old baby take part in a chowhound contest?!
JinYu grinded his teeth when he heard this, “God knows! He signed up behind my back!! He’ll deserve it if he dies from overeating!!”
All the judges around fell silent.
“On your mark! Start!”
Originally, they thought this competition would be an intense and neck-to-neck fight. To everyone’s surprise, it was actually an overwhelming slaughter — that kid Qi XiaoYao was definitely using add-ins/definitely cheating, the speculating Shan BaiLu and aristocratic families declared. They had never seen a one-year-old swallow a pile of food that was three to four times larger than his body!! This was completely an unmatchable chowhound!!
Therefore, the final result was Qi XiaoYao’s overwhelming victory, but many moguls stated that it must be Judge Jin Yu’s unwritten rules of letting him in through the back door.
With regards to this, later Big Boss Jin said in an interview, “Fucking hell! Lao Zi almost worried that my son would die from overeating!! The unspoken rules, your sister!”
“Cough, cough! Next, the Rapid-answer quiz would be held at the Third Street in the Dark Street. If you have the intention to participate, kindly move over there.”
This time, Shan BaiLu’s father finally did not give him a brain fart.
However, almost all the onlookers all had a brain fart.
This was because the content of the questions were really not suitable for children, old people and even middle-aged people. The faces of all the players paled and they spit up three liters of blood. Even when the audience thought of these questions, they all flushed with anger or trembled from head to toe. When the last player who was questioned answered correctly, Zhang LiangShan silently walked forward and handed him a statue of Fei YuSheng that was made of purple gold coins in all seriousness.
“Well, I suggest you take a look at the psychiatry department. Really, this set of questionnaires is our internal test. So far, only Fei YuSheng had gotten a full score… What do you think?”
“… Lao Zi wants to see the psychiatry department! Like hell!!” The winner wretchedly cried out and fell to the ground.
“Cough, cough, cough. That, next is the fourth event. We sincerely recommend that interested parties cautiously consider before participating. Enter at your own risk.”
“Dad, are we going to see people streaking?”
“Go! Why wouldn’t we go?!” There were not many people who dared to run around naked these days. It was rare to see such a thing.
So Shan BaiLu and many of the younger generations from the aristocracy, and the rich and powerful, could only scowl as they went to buy streaking admission tickets that were more expensive than the entrance tickets. In addition, they were unceasingly cursing and ridiculing the adults that had no moral principals in their hearts.
The course of events of the streaking competition was a secret, and it turned out to be an extremely heartbreaking and sorrowful secret.
As for why it was so heartbreaking, it could be seen from the faces of the moguls, the aristocratic families, and those in power, et cetera that were walking out of the street where the secret competition was held. They all looked particularly at a loss. The younger generation of the Ten Great Aristocratic Families headed by Shan BaiLu were wailing in their hearts: Fuck, this was really such a scam!!
PS: That night, in Dual Horizons’ forum on the Light Network, a blurry Light Clip (光频) was uploaded. Even if the butts of the people who participated in the competition were covered with a mosaic, the Light Clip still set off a overwhelming wave. The naked bodies of a suspected so-and-so mogul, a so-and-so VIP was not the important point. The important point was, among the group of people, why was the one running at the front a zebra that was less than one meters tall?!
Under the Light Clip, there was comment from a God:
Fucking hell! That’s Lao Zi’s son!
More than one hundred replies to that comment were in the “…” status.
The next day, the famous Dark Street was encircled by the citizens of the Capital Star who declared, “We also want to attend the party! If it’s not possible, watching the moguls is also okay!”
With regards to this, a certain prehistoric whale that had harvested a pile of purple gold coins calmly tied up his son and threw him into a teleportation gate. Then he stared at Li Xiao and Cheng Liang who had come to ask about this, “Look if you want to. Anyway, my son can’t embarrass me anymore.”
Li Xiao and Cheng Liang, “…”
Speaking of, Qi QingLin already came back yesterday. Why are you still so irascible? Cheng Liang suddenly saw JinYu’s dark eye circles and had a moment of enlightenment.
Things like sexual frustration and overworking, were both totally unacceptable!
The author has something to say: Hahahahahaha…
Cough cough. With this, 138 and all extras are completed. I would like to thank all fans for your company and never abandoning this along our journey. Your presence has given me endless satisfaction and happiness. I will continue to work hard to write good novels in the future. I hope we can meet again. Bow.
PS: There should probably be a physical copy (定制) – 0 -, zombies are relatively– slower, so it’s estimated that there will be a need to wait. If a physical copy comes out, it will be announced in my new novel and in this novel. En, at that time there will be two additional extras – Qi XiaoYao’s Grasping week 1 and Qi XiaoYao’s Gathering of Friends. Please look forward to it… orz