CH 77

He guessed it.

As Ou Shaowen revealed more and more information, in fact, Ou Renjin had already pieced together the puzzle in his mind.

But even though he had guessed, he could not control his burning anger at this moment.

He was sickened by the thought of such a heartless laboratory surviving in this world for a single day.

At this moment, he didn’t think about abiding by the law, he just wanted to tie those researchers to the operating table and do the same thing they had done to Ou Shaowen.

Let them personally feel their bodies being constantly cut and stitched, and life being no better than death.

Ou Shaowen was still telling without emotion, “I was their most successful experiment and they started to sell my organs for profit. My daily life was very monotonous. There is nothing else to say. I had surgeries to transplant organs, and then wait for them to grow again, week after week. Until one day, when I opened my eyes and woke up, I inexplicably travelled through time and space to a whole new world, and was in a ward completely different from the laboratory.”

When he said this, he finally raised his eyes, and his tone was no longer cold, “That day, I met you.”

A small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, as if from here on in, the ones that followed became sweet memories that could only be recounted with a smile, “Back then I thought you were also a rich man who bought my organs and briefly picked me up trusting your own doctors and equipment more than the lab. So, in fact, I was ready to transplant you my heart from the first day I met you.”

Having said that, he finally got to the point. He began to analyse himself, “It may indeed be true that my past made me too accustomed to being an organ petri dish. I didn’t think there was anything special about these things I was used to doing. And you happened to be the one I liked. You needed my heart and I just happened to be able to save your life. So for me, making such a decision was logical. I didn’t know you would mind so much.

“I know, you care about me and feel sorry for me far more than I care about myself, but this heart is for me a consumable that will regrow in two months, and for you it is your long life in the future. I couldn’t help but save you.” His deep pool-like eyes flickered a little, and he looked at Ou Renjin, his voice was very soft, “So can you also understand me from my point of view and not get angry again, okay?”

Before coming to this appointment, Ou Renjin really didn’t expect to hear him say such things.

He suddenly felt that Ou Shaowen, who he had always thought was ignorant and floating in this world like dust, was not what he thought he was. He had his own set of ideas and logic, but he was used to obeying him and he had never explained to him the reason for doing something calmly and modestly like he was doing now.

He suddenly felt that Ou Shaowen at this moment was particularly attractive, with an indescribable unique charm.

“I’m sorry.” Ou Renjin apologised to him bluntly. His heart felt as if a soft cloud wrapped it layer by layer. The love Ou Shaowen poured into him made him float a little, but not to the sky because of the deeper sorrows and grievances.

He was not someone unable to think differently; in fact he had always known very well that the reason he had resisted Ou Shaowen’s heart donation so fiercely was, on the one hand, because at that time he simply could not believe Ou Shaowen’s words completely, and on the other hand, it was just his selfishness.

He couldn’t bear the pain of his loved ones leaving him again, so he very selfishly pushed this pain onto Ou Shaowen. He was forcing him, using a stimulus therapy that he himself found despicable, using pain that would impress him to remember that once something like this happened in the future, he should never make a similar choice again.

He never liked the melodramatic plot of martyrdom and did not believe that anyone in the world would be unable to live without anyone else, but to some extent, he believed that if Ou Shaowen at that time really died, he might be the one indulging in the mood of going with him. This had nothing to do with how much he loved Ou Shaowen; the deeper reason was in himself.

Ou Renjin sorted out his emotions and smiled, “Your story is finished. By all rights, is it my turn.”

“My story…” He was stuck at the beginning and was silent for a long time before continuing.

“Let’s start at the age of twelve. I just finished primary school that year and did pretty well in the graduation exams. My parents were usually very busy, but that time they wanted to keep their promise and take me out to play for once, and then on the road… we got into a car accident.”

He unconsciously accelerated the speed of his speech, as if he wanted to jump over this description as soon as possible, “When the car was hit, my father subconsciously turned to avoid the side where I was sitting. My mother used her body to protect me, so in the end they were seriously injured and hospitalised, but I was only a little bruised.”

Ou Renjin’s eyebrows furrowed a little bit, “After resuscitation and treatment, their condition stabilised somewhat, and then one night… Perhaps children always look for their mothers when they are alone and helpless. Even lying on the floor of her room I was more at ease than in my own ward. So I was lying behind the sofa in her ward, trying to keep watch over her. Half asleep and half awake, I heard the footsteps of two people…”

He described the tragedy of the death of his parents in a few words. His language was concise, and there was no descriptive or expressive vocabulary, but Ou Shaowen’s tears flowed down uncontrollably. He gritted his teeth and felt that he was countless times more sad at this moment than he had ever been before.

The most painful thing in this world was not to be in pain all the time, but to let you fall from heaven when you were happiest. How painful should Ou Renjin, who originally grew up in the love of his parents, be?

Seeing him crying, Ou Renjin chuckled softly and took out a tissue to wipe his tears, “I didn’t say this to make you cry. I haven’t gotten to the point yet.”

He briefly mentioned his plight at the time, his grandfather’s tiredness of his suspicions, his uncle and aunt’s hidden murderous intent, and the words that were occasionally used to comfort him but made him suffer even more.

People always want to find some beauty in tragedy, so everyone around him, including the media, emphasised to him over and over again how great his parents were and how much they loved him.

At the beginning, people said that they were thinking about protecting him before they died. Later, some people said that if it weren’t for protecting him, they might not have died.

Then, at the height of his emotional breakdown, he was diagnosed with a heart disease and was plunged into deep self-doubt and painful self-blame; was it really worth trading the lives of the two people he loved the most for the fact that as a heart patient he might not live much longer at all?

“During that time, I started to get a bit world-weary. On the one hand, I hated myself, but on the other hand, I felt that I had to live longer. After all, what was exchanged for my parents’ lives would be too worthless if it was just a few years.

“When I first found out that you had given me your heart to transplant, I wasn’t sure you would survive. I didn’t dare to let myself have expectations and subconsciously thought of the worst outcome. I was afraid that I would never see you again, regretted not being good enough to you before, and then began to feel that… it was enough.”

It was a kind of exhaustion that came from the bottom of his heart.

“That process… the process of watching the person I love die for me and constantly convincing myself to live for him really made me tired enough. Intellectually, I know that you all love me very much, and there are very few people in this world who are willing to sacrifice their life for others. You are noble and great, but I am too cowardly and inferior to bear such deep love.

“So, I apologise to you, you did nothing wrong, don’t belittle and doubt yourself. On the contrary, if your contribution was to someone else, he would be full of emotions and pity, and would guard your hospital bed waiting for you to wake up to give you a soothing and loving kiss.”

He lowered his eyes and admitted his meanness, “It’s all my problem. I admit that I used the wrong way. I just hope that if there is such a time again, please cherish yourself and… take mercy on me. Don’t let me suffer this kind of pain again.”

Ou Shaowen’s eyes were red like the eyes of a little rabbit. He bit his lip and nodded, choking: “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t know it was like this. Ou Renjin was overly deified by him in his heart. He always felt that Ou Renjin was omnipotent, capable, popular and wealthy. Everyone loved him, and there was always a steady stream of people who wanted to be with him.

He thought Ou Renjin just had a bad relationship with his family, but he didn’t expect those people to be so vicious and ruthless, like wolves in sheepskin, so you didn’t even know when they would show their fangs to you.

It must be very difficult for Ou Renjin to grow up in such an environment and endure the torment of his illness.

For so many years, Ou Shaowen hadn’t even hated the researchers who operated on him, but at this moment, he began to hate Ou Renjin’s so-called uncle and aunt. Why did they treat him like this? Could it be that people really didn’t care about anything for the sake of wealth? They were relatives, not strangers or enemies. Why could they do such a thing to their family?

His memory was very good, and he immediately recalled the scene of accompanying Ou Renjin to the house of the Ou family back then, which was really disgusting.

“I won’t leave you.” He stood up, walked to Ou Renjin’s side, leaned over and hugged him, “I will always be with you. I am in good health. Even if there is an accident, I will definitely not die. I will definitely live longer than you.”

His tone was sincere, as if he was taking a vow.

Let him become Ou Renjin’s family, let him hold this person in the palm of his hand, kiss him, pamper him and love him.

Ou Renjin wrapped his arms around his waist and patted him gently, “Although this table is in the corner, it still seems that someone can see us. In public, do you want to make it so exciting?”

Ou Shaowen sat on his lap and lowered his head to kiss him. He kissed his chest through the clothes, “Does it still hurt here?”

Ou Renjin pursed his lips, feeling his heart tingle, “Even more exciting. When others accidentally see us, they will think we are doing a live erotic show.”

As if Ou Shaowen hadn’t heard it, he held Ou Renjin’s hand, pulled it to his lips and dropped a kiss full of pity on his palm, “What about here, does it still hurt?”

Ou Renjin finally stopped joking and replied seriously: “It doesn’t hurt.”

At that time, his heart was in too much pain, so he didn’t feel any other pain. In fact, he didn’t cut deeply. People have a self-protection mechanism. If they didn’t really have a death wish, they wouldn’t be able to do much. “But what if I say it doesn’t hurt? You won’t kiss it? Then I’d better be coquettish with you. My lips hurt too, and I want you to kiss them.”

Ou Renjin looked at him with a smile on his face, closed his eyes and invited his kiss happily.

Ou Shaowen felt as if his face was starting to burn. Too… too shy. When Ou Renjin wanted to kiss him before, he always kissed him directly. This was the first time he just stayed put, as if waiting for him to decide on this kiss.

With that in mind, he was a little embarrassed to kiss him like that.

Ou Renjin closed his eyes and couldn’t help but hook the corners of his mouth while waiting.

Seeing him smile, Ou Shaowen felt that he was being laughed at. Those hesitations were instantly left behind. He held Ou Renjin’s face and pulled a little away to accumulate strength before kissing him deeply.

At this moment, he had long forgotten it was a public occasion. His heart was so full of love that he didn’t know how to express it, as if he could only give vent to it with a kiss or two.

This kiss lasted for a long time, their breath blended together as they felt each other’s body temperature and felt each other’s love and heart.

It was only when it seemed that the footsteps of a waiter were approaching from afar that Ou Shaowen snapped out of his ecstasy and let go of Ou Renjin’s lips to look.

The waiters here were professionally trained and would not normally come up to disturb their guests easily, but it was impossible not to disturb their intimacy while their dishes were served.

Ou Shaowen watched the waiter approach from a distance, but still sat motionless on Ou Renjin’s lap.

“The dishes for the two of you are here, please ring the bell if you need anything.” The waiter maintained her professional smile, did not squint, bowed slightly, turned around and left.

Ou Renjin couldn’t help laughing, “It’s time for her to go back and share the news with her friends.”

“Can we continue?” Ou Shaowen turned his head and wanted to continue kissing him but Ou Renjin put his hand on his head and rubbed his hair.

“Let’s eat first, the dishes will be cold later.”

“Then you’ll go back to the villa today and stay there, and we will do the rest when we go back.” It was direct enough and wild enough, but it was really something Ou Shaowen would say.

“Okay, I promise you. It just so happens that I have something I want to do with you that I haven’t done yet.”

Ou Shaowen finally returned to his seat and sat down obediently, and then silently accelerated the speed of eating.

Ou Renjin was amused by his hamster-like eating, teased him a few times and then stopped, following him to finish eating quickly.

As soon as they got home, they went directly to the second floor. Ou Renjin hugged his waist and brought him down on the bed.

He grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifted it up from his waist, and gently kissed the place against his heart, “What about you? Do you hurt?”

Ou Shaowen was dizzy and shook his head subconsciously.

“I’m not asking now, I’m saying, so many times, when you had surgery again and again, did it hurt?

“What about here, has it been cut by a knife too?

“It won’t hurt if I kiss you, okay?” Ou Renjin’s voice was gentle and full of compassion. Ou Shaowen pursed his mouth and his eyes turned red again.

Ou Renjin kisses trailed from his chest to his waist and abdomen, and then returned to his neck. These kisses did not contain the slightest hint of eroticism as if it was another language of his, better than his voice, whispering his feelings.

I regret not being a part of your past. I regret not being able to save you when you were suffering. The past is gone. In the future I hope that when you touch every part of your body, it will be my kisses that you  remember, not those scars.

Ou Shaowen could hear what he wanted to express, so he trembled even more, and his whole body melted into the sea of warmth.

The next day, Ou Shaowen woke up in Ou Renjin’s arms, smiled stupidly at his still sleeping face, and then leaned in to kiss him.

Ou Renjin raised his eyelids drowsily, and saw Ou Shaowen jumping off the bed happily, full of energy and unaffected. On the contrary, he was tired and weak, feeling hollowed out.

Okay, who is to blame if the kid has special abilities?

From this day on, Ou Renjin naturally returned to the villa to live. When Ou Shaowen asked, he said he had already heard the answer he wanted.

“So you have completely forgiven me?”

“What about you? Have you forgiven me too?”

Ou Shaowen came over and hugged him and shook him affectionately, “I never blamed you, but next time don’t disappear for so long, I’ll be very scared.”

“Okay, but speaking of this, I remembered that I still have something to tell you.” During the month Ou Renjin disappeared, he went to the scientific research institute in the United States and signed a supplementary agreement with them. At the same time, he also took the opportunity to look at their research and analysis on Ou Shaowen.

“Although you said that you have travelled through time and space, and you are no longer in the original world, and the people in the laboratory can no longer find you, this doesn’t mean that the people in this world are as sincere, kind and beautiful as you think. You should know how terrifying it would be if the news of your physique was leaked out?”

When he saw the image of Ou Shaowen’s regrowing heart with his own eyes, in addition to surprise and joy, Ou Renjin’s first thought that came to his mind was fear.

If the news of his physique was leaked out, those who wandered in the grey zone, those things in the gutter, would smell it and come looking for him.

He was afraid that he would miss something, that he would not be able to protect Ou Shaowen tightly enough and that he would live in anxiety forever.

“I didn’t think about it that much.” Ou Shaowen was a little dazed. He had never had any concepts about these things. ”And Guan Qijun signed a confidentiality agreement with the doctor at that time, don’t worry.”

“Guan Qijun? Heh.” Ou Renjin’s face suddenly became a little displeased as he sneered.

There was another big reason for his anger at the time, which was that Ou Shaowen believed so easily in the person who wanted to hurt him. He did not reveal in front of Ou Shaowen the fact that Guan Qijun harboured ill intentions from start to finish, because although Ou Renjin reminded him countless times how sinister a human heart could be, he didn’t want to really make him face the hypocrisy and malice of people.

And he thought he would avenge Ou Shaowen enough. Simply suppressing Guan Qijun in the industry was not enough to calm him down. Let’s wait, either he would be lonely for the rest of his life until he got old, or if he had someone he loved, Ou Renjin would let him taste the pain of losing the one he loved.

He liked to stage those dramas the most.

“His agreement was not perfect enough, so I went to sign some additional terms, and he and Dr. Chen also had to sign a confidentiality agreement.” Ou Renjin’s tone was serious. “You don’t have to worry about these things, it’s been solved. Your only task is to be careful. You can’t expose your special physique to anyone in any place. What you did with He Yixin before is not allowed. By the way, he also has to sign a confidentiality agreement.”