Chapter 165

165 All Of You

“Come on, Skye; it’s a simple question. What do you think I would do to the people who took you? Or hurt you?”

Tidas’ voice had a coldness to it. Like he’d taken any and all love he felt and locked it away. The Tidas that looked at her now was the one that was let loose on the battlefield to slaughter. It wasn’t fear she felt towards him; more like a deep sadness.

For Tidas to have to shut down his emotions to such an extent made Skye’s heart want to bleed. She cupped his cheek on instinct, surprising Tidas back to his senses momentarily. As his eyes filled with life again, Skye spoke in a soft tone; “Probably the same thing I’d do, just with a more experienced hand.”

The empty feeling left Tidas to be replaced with enveloping warmth. Skye had instantly banished the darkness from his mind, clearing his senses. He pulled away from her hand and sat back in his chair with an unnerved expression. Filled with concern; Skye scooted to the very edge of her bed and waited for her husband to speak.

Tidas wasn’t sure of what was happening. One moment he was talking with Skye, the next he felt like he was ready to kill. It was similar to how he felt when he took to the battlefield, but more primal and forced to it. He ran his fingers through his hair as he exhaled in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Skye. I..I don’t know what happened.. Heh, maybe I do need a break,” Tidas stated as he rubbed his forehead out of exasperation.

With apprehension in her tone, Skye asked; “What were you thinkin’ about? What did you feel?”

Tidas motioned his arms upwards in frustration; “What we were talking about; someone taking or hurting you.. What the hell is wrong with me lately?”

Skye scooted off of her bed and sat down on her husband’s lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissed his forehead, and sat in silence for a few minutes. Their steady breathing and the echoing voices from the hall were all they could hear as the princess monitored her husband.

.....

The voices overlapped and faded as Skye tilted her husband’s head up. She gazed into his eyes, hoping he’d see her affections reflected. But his eyes were unfocused and distant; not registering what was in front of him.

Skye could sense a kind of struggle within her husband. Familiar warning bells went off in her mind, but she ignored them. She knew Tidas would never hurt her, and refused to balk when her husband needed her. She kissed his forehead again, then locked eyes with him to show him she was there.

Tidas felt the love his wife was reaching out with, but couldn’t respond how he wanted. His senses blurred as his emotions bounced back and forth between lucidity and bloodlust. It was like someone was literally flipping a switch on and off inside his head.

Skye saw her husband struggling as his breathing started to pick up in pace. He was pushing back at a dark, empty void that prodded at the corruption that was a part of him. It was the damage Tidas’ soul had sustained by taking life, and the part of him that made him enjoy the battlefield.

Not sure of what she was doing, Skye placed her hands on either side of Tidas’ face. While still maintaining eye contact, she began to funnel some of her Shaman magic into him while saying; “Out your head, love.. Your place is here, with me..”

Her husband tensed up under her, but Skye pushed her power in deeper; attempting to suss out where the trigger for his irrationality was. As her connection grew, a strange, chaotic magic started to push back. Finding the source, she assisted her husband’s efforts to force it away. When it began to shrink back after a few precarious moments, they herded it down and out of Tidas’ body.

Once she didn’t feel it’s presence anymore, Skye released her magic’s hold. She left what was still in Tidas to heal and energize him. As exhaustion began to affect her equilibrium, Tidas wrapped his arms around Skye’s waist to steady her. She smiled weakly at him as he evened out his breathing, and cleared his throat to speak.

“What was that? What did you do?”

Skye’s voice was weak, but with a feisty edge to it as she smiled and spoke; “I don’t know.. Whatever it was: it was only a smidgen of power, and it took the last of me strength to help kick it out of you. All I know is that it’s gone, and better bloody well stay that way! Least until I get some food in me. Speakin’ of..”

Skye eyed her dress at the end of the bed, then turned back to her husband and spoke with a cheeky grin; “Would ye be so kind as to help a lady into her dress?”

Tidas beamed at his wife; “I’d Much rather we stop at the naked part, but I know how tired and hungry you are.”

“Starving, actually.. So dessert will have to come later,” Skye’s voice had a roughness to it as she spoke from it becoming dry.

The prince squeezed her in a careful bear hug as he chuckled. Skye was an incredible mage, even with the handicap of barely having a clue as to what she was doing. The technique she’d just preformed was only done by top tier Shamans, like Dr. Gohan. It was referred to as a Purge or a Cleanse, and only the highest skilled, medically trained Shamans could pull it off. But here Skye was; winging it perfectly on pure instinct.

“You know, wife.. Keep saving me and I’ll have to pass my Pillar title on to you.”

Skye scoffed, then showed her husband a blooming smile as she replied; “No thank you. I’ve heard ye complainin’ about Zas’ handwriting. And Shasta’s complete inability to do any paperwork.. So again; no thank you.”

Tidas chuckled lightly at his wife’s validity as he stood up with her in his arms. His nerves were on edge; praying Skye wouldn’t ask about his darkness. He knew she’d felt it, but begged the gods to convince her it was part of whatever they’d just chased from his body.

In truth; Tidas secretly loved to fight almost as much as Shasta. Whenever he was in the thralls of battle was when he felt truly free. The feel of his blood pumping, his senses in overdrive, the clash of metal and flesh; he reveled in it. Except when he was with Skye, it was where he felt most alive.

Tidas hated his true nature, and kept it hidden as much as possible. Even when training others, he had to keep an iron-clad grip on himself; especially if a recruit had potential. If his self-control wasn’t as fortified as it was, Tidas would most likely act like a human male version of Shasta.

Skye could sense his internal struggle, and guessed at what it was about; “Why was that thing poking at yer darkness?”

Tidas froze. He didn’t want to discuss it, but Skye wasn’t the type to let something like this go. After a deep breath, he asked his wife; “So you saw it?”

Skye quirked an eyebrow at her husband; “Does that bother you?”

The moment his face expressed shame, Skye began to reassure Tidas; “It’s not like I didn’t know it was there, husband. Yer a war hero; of course yer soul is a wee bit tainted. Taking a life always leaves a mark, but that doesn’t make ye a bad person. If anything, yer situation tells me yer a good one..”

Tidas blinked at his wife in confusion while his face remained placid; “That makes no sense to me..”

“It’s quite simple: do you like to take life, or fight?”

“The fighting, but the killing goes hand-in-hand with it, usually.”

“Do you kill or fight randomly; unprovoked? Or do ye kill to protect?”

Becoming impatient, Tidas’ tone was slightly stern as he said; “Where are you going with this Skye?”

Skye tightened her grip around her husband’s neck as she explained; “Ye don’t kill for fun, ye don’t start fights, ye save people when ye do kill, and the lives you take are generally done so during war. So husband; how are ye a bad person? And by the way: saying yer a bad person means calling anyone else whose’s ever fought in a war a bad person too.”

Tidas had listened to his wife intently, and understood where she was coming from. However, he still felt guilt over the lives he’d taken. The prince honestly believed that life was a gift, and no one else had the right to take it from another. Whether that be quality of life, or the actual act of living; only the owner had the right to do with their life as they wished. Even if they wanted to put their own life at risk.

Any person that ever joined a branch of the military voluntarily knew that the choice was theirs, but many kingdoms indoctrinated. Mages in particular had hardly any say in the direction of their life. It wasn’t their fault that they had to kill to survive. Tidas, on the other hand, had chosen to join.

King Magnus had given his son the option of Mage or Diplomat when his powers first appeared. He wanted vengeance for his aunt and his unborn cousin. He wanted to kill his uncle for dividing their kingdom and nearly causing a civil war. If Magnus wasn’t such a good king, he would’ve had to have his throne taken and handed off to the next in line...

It was a law made by Tiberius when he was king. It was called the Civility Law, and was created to protect the people of Alcon from tyrants. The indoctrination laws greatly conflicted with it, but Marco explained that because mages were so few in number, that the security of the kingdom outweighed the needs of the few.

Tidas had been trying for years to get the age requirement raised to eighteen. He pitched the idea in coordination with his public schools idea. All schools would have specific programs for young mages. To train them for when they would become indoctrinated at eighteen. That way, the children of Alcon could still have an actual childhood. Marco shot down the idea based on cost, but Tidas was still trying to come up with a way to at least build the schools himself.

Skye watched her husband a few minutes before she said; “Yer the farthest thing for a bad person I’ve ever seen, Tidas. Ye have literally saved thousands of people from terrible fates by being exactly who ye are. Don’t let some evil entity convince ye otherwise..”

“And don’t forget,” Skye leaned in slightly to make her point clear; “I’ve killed people too. So if yer damned, I guess I am too.. I love you, Tidas; All Of You.. Even the bits you hate.”