C21

"Susan?"

"…"

"Susan, do you still feel pain?"

"..." "Pain?"

"Oh, of course, you can't feel it now."

"I... "Where is it?"

"Not here, right here."

"What are you talking about, Mr Latimer?"

"Latimer?"

"Yeah, what are you talking about? Mr Latimer, what are we doing? "

"You're going to... You call me Latimer? "

"Of course, you are the Mr Latimer."

"Very good, I am Latimer."

"What happened to you?"

"Then …" There was a silence, then curiosity. "What do you think of me, Lady Susan?"

"What is it like?" Do you still need me to say it? " "Thick, thick eyebrows, like my father's."

"Yes, very thick and thick eyebrows."

"In my opinion... "A little dull eyes."

"A little dull eyes."

"Also …" You should lose some weight, Mr Latimer! " Laughter.

"Too fat?"

"Hur hur, I'm saying that you should be very smart."

"Why do you say that?"

"All the smart people I know are fat."

"I didn't know there was such a thing. The only basis I could find was the analysis of the material. Sixty percent of the brain is made up of fat."

"So the more fat the smarter?"

"I didn't say that. I'm just following your line of thought to find some evidence."

"Haha, you sure are humorous."

"Then... Do you remember anything now? "

"When I woke up, my mind was blank, but now I remember it all."

"Oh? What do you remember? "

"I'm afraid I'm in the hospital now, so it doesn't hurt at all."

"Can't you see it?"

"It's a little fuzzy, but I recognize your voice."

"Very good. So if it happens again, will you still choose to do it? "

"What is it?"

"You know what I mean, Ms. Susan," she said heavily. "I mean what happened in prison. You started the time bubble."

"Time bubble …"

"Well, according to a more professional way of speaking, it's better to call it a time bubble or a time film. No matter what, you have activated the Time Field, trapping yourself and the Miss Emma inside. "

"Because …" Gritting his teeth, he said, "Because she is my enemy! But the law, regardless of whether it is good or evil, protects her. "

"Even if you knew the truth, would you choose to do it?"

"I know? That is not the case with knowing the truth. "

"Of course, you always knew that." Both parties fell silent, "I am saying that you have always known that perhaps what Emma said was true, and the murder that you came up with from the extortion you went through so much trouble to 'infer' was just your imagination."

"…"

"Don't you think so?"

"Why should I think that?"

"Are you asking me?"

"Yes, you saw so much evidence."

"Evidence?" Just vague clues, and more evidence that your father was the culprit. "

"But what about Mr. X? Is it just a coincidence? "

"There are a lot of things that are really just coincidences, but people will deliberately string them together to form a picture that meets their own wishes."

"My wish?"

"Well, you've already made this deduction in your mind," the mechanical voice said. "You're just looking for evidence to attach to it, but of course, as long as you work hard, you'll definitely find it."

"What evidence do you have to say that?"

"Evidence?" I don't need evidence because... " "Because I know everything about you. I know what you did and think about."

"…"

"You don't believe it, do you?"

"Mr Latimer …"

"Well, that's all I want to know. Even if you had already felt in your heart that Emma did not intentionally kill your father, would you still not give up on berating her? "

"What do you mean you won't give up?"

"It's very simple. In my opinion, your attitude of never giving up on this matter has become the sole goal and meaning for which you are still alive."

"Are you talking about meaning?"

"I'm still talking about myself, Ms. Susan. Your ego."

"My ego is me, of course."

"But when a person doesn't know what he is and is lost, he likes to find a place in himself so that he can give meaning to his life."

"If it's not like that, then she won't be able to live?"

"You know what I mean. You always knew."

"But you think I won't give up?"

"It turns out so. I can tell from your eyes that you don't really hate the Miss Emma. You have a natural talent for drama, and you're good at playing a role that has nothing to do with you. "

"…"

"I've already said that the problem lies with your father, Allen. You must have noticed that in the last few months before his death, both his behavior and his speech were a bit abnormal, right? "

"Since you know everything about me, you might as well tell me."

"Hehe," a short laugh said, "You just don't dare to face it. Allen had already stepped into his old age, and he had developed many symptoms of dementia, such as memory loss, behavior stereotyping, sleep disorders, and so on. You live under the same roof as your father, you should know that. "

"There's nothing special about this. Anyone would be like this when they grow old."

"Not only that, but he will sometimes go out and never return."

"He'll come back."

"That is because his memory has been restored. In addition to that, he would also suddenly use some vulgar language, wouldn't he? "

"Just venting my dissatisfaction with my life."

"Yes, this is called verbal violence. Let me tell you what happens if you don't control this dementia: patients develop a severe memory disorder, which they forget the moment before; they even develop a heterophagy and grab whatever they can hold in their hands and put it in their mouth; and of course, their basic self-care is gone, and they don't even recognize their loved ones at the end — they lose their basic state of consciousness. "

"In short, is there something wrong with the brain that's sixty percent fat?"

"You're right, you already had a premonition. Plus your mother's death... This was a severe blow to him. In these ten years, Allen's mind could not find any hope. This increased the development of his dementia, and... The monotony of life. "

"The monotony of life?"

"Yes, in these ten years, aside from you accompanying your father, he had also placed his thoughts on his longing for his wife. Every year, we break out a few boxes of paper money and burn them to her. That's the best proof of that. "

"Is it hard to miss someone?"

"But if one turns all one's thoughts into nostalgia... How boring is his life? "

"…"

"The monotony of life produces a sense of futility that speeds up the aging of the brain. And was he delusional about being killed? "

"There are some, and they keep telling me they're afraid of being murdered."

"Heh heh, I have to say, this is quite an inspiration for you to come up with this extortion case."

"Are you saying that it was all my imagination?"

"There's no doubt that you have a fatherly complex." Some came to the point, "Your father projected the meaning of his life over ten years on the thought of his mother, and you projected the meaning of your life after his death on turning the case over for your father. Do you understand me? "

"You think you've hit the nail on the head."

"The truth of the matter is that your father, in addition to his general dementia, had more severe frontotemporal dementia, characterized by the discontinuation of the frontal and temporal lobes, the higher brain regions that control social behavior."

"Social behavior?"

"Yes, it would make a good man suddenly evil, because his self-control is no longer working."

"So, what Miss Emma said is true?"

"Of course it's like that …" "Of course I didn't see it with my own eyes, but based on all the data and information, this is the most I can come up with."

"Tell me about it."

"That afternoon, after your father left the house, he forgot what he was going to do. When he arrived at the Greenbird Bay in a daze, he ran into a Miss Emma who wanted to relax at the same time."

"That's too much of a coincidence."

"All the coincidences in the world are inevitable, and that depends on how you look at them. So it can be said that everything in the world must be a coincidence. "

"And then?"

"And then? It's simple, when the Allen whose social behavior is out of control saw Miss Emma, he tried to molest her. Miss Emma pushed him into the river to protect himself, and he didn't report her to the police.

"That's exactly what she said."

"You know what she said is true, but you... But you don't want to accept that, so you reweave the meaning of your life. "

"Can you prove it?"

"No, at least not here. I have to analyze the structure of Mr. Allen's brain tissue before he died, and now they have turned into ashes."

"Do you mean that if one's frontal and temporal lobes are diseased, such obscenities will occur?"

"They are no longer aware of the existence of the laws of society. They have become extremely primitive people, living only for their own reproduction."

"You explained it very clearly."

"This matter can also be compared with the Miss Emma's Star Path," Yue Yang once again changed the topic, "Under the instigation of Eloi Film And Television Company, she decided to give up on Mr. X for her own Star Path."

"So what?"

"She felt that the meaning of her life was to become a superstar, but in the end, she realized that this was not her own meaning in life, but a certain image that millions of fans were looking forward to becoming … Is this the image she wants to be? "

"So the final statement says you'll quit forever?"

"After everything that had happened, she finally understood. "Ah, of course …" He chuckled again, "Hur hur, I don't know what she's thinking."

"But you know me?"

"Yes, I know you. You can't hide your sincerity — in front of me. "

"I even think you transferred some of your love for your father to me."

"…"

"Forget it if you don't want to admit it!" People don't always like to hear facts. "

"In short, you think that my insistence on this case was due to a loss of self?"

"Yes, your unquenchable abandonment is proof that you have completely abandoned yourself."

"Are you pitying me?"

"No, of course not," said a silence. "I'm just curious, studying."

"Research?"

"To study how to coexist with you."

"Are you having a hard time too? You feel out of place? "

"If celebrities like Emma, who are highly regarded by tens of thousands of people, eventually feel that they should give up a long time ago … Do you still think that there are people in this world who are completely at ease? "

"So I tell you," said a helpless voice, "that no one can live for himself, no one can."

"So, after hearing that I've said so much, you're still unwilling to give up?"

"Otherwise, wouldn't all that I did before have gone to waste?"

"So in the end, people can ignore the truth and be deluded by their own mistakes?"

"You don't understand at all. Truth is sometimes meaningless, and the insistence on being right is not comforting. "

"Even though I've always known in my heart that the person who does things everyday isn't really me?"

"..." In a meaningless world, if losing yourself can be exchanged for a sense of meaning, even if it's just an illusion, there will still be those who cry tears of joy! "

"…"

"This is a species that is constantly progressing but constantly falling behind."

"Well, you've come to define humanity from a macroscopic point of view."

"I just had a sudden insight and casually mentioned it."

"I have to remember this. This is very refined."

"Then... Is God still waiting for me? "

"Of course, I've been waiting for you to enter heaven."

"Even though I'm such a contradictory species?"

"There is no need for flesh in heaven."

"But... Now it seems to me that the heaven promised by God is not true. "

"It's not true?"

"If you think of what you said before... If you go there to abandon your body, you are also abandoning the truth and yourself. "

"You mean meaningless existence?"

"Have I lost the meaning of living as myself?"

"Are you asking me?"

"Yes, Mr Latimer."

"I've been asking you, Lady Susan. You have to answer that yourself. "