Chapter 86: If You Want



In lieu of a response to her outburst, Evian stared into Ember's eyes. For the first time, he noticed pretty black specks in her brown pupils that appeared to be moving almost imperceptibly.

Ember stared right back, a bit annoyed at how quickly his handsome face was distracting her from being appropriately upset. She let out a long sigh that appeared to pull Evian out of his observation.

"So," he said gently, "How mad are you?"

"What?"

"I mean, how angry are you still?" Evian clarified.

Ember shrugged,

"Not as angry as I was before, I guess," she said, "I think I got it all out."

Evian raised a brow in surprise as his lips turned up slightly in a smile,

"Really?" he asked.

Ember snorted,

"What, You want me to continue?"

"No, no. You got your point across nicely," he said with a nod.

"Good," Ember said, "I already feel embarrassed about breaking down like that. It's just, your absence, so quickly after we- did it, had a stronger impact on me than I wanted."

As she spoke, Ember held Evian's gaze while blushing and then she looked away and cleared her throat in an obvious attempt to regain a more 'natural' expression.

"I didn't mean any disrespect," Evian told her.

Ember nodded, still looking away,

"I know you didn't," she said, "At least I think I do. I mean, everything happened so fast."

"Hmm," was all Evian said.

Thinking Evian was in agreement, Ember continued,

"My Mother used to say when the time came to do 'that', I should make sure it's with someone who respects me- someone I can trust- Someone I really, really know."

"I see," Evian said. Something about her tone helped him decipher what she was getting at, "And you don't think you know me."

"Do I?" Ember asked finally turning and looking into Evian's face again.

Evian let out a sigh,

"Maybe not."

Honestly, with how little he knew about her, Ember should rightfully be dangling very close to the Apprentice line only a step away from being a total stranger. It was like that with the rest of the Crew. He had always known this, he had just never cared.

Till date, he had not taken a genuine interest in Daria's life besides the bit she revealed to him or he inferred on his own.

'Do I- Do I find it hard to form genuine connections?' he wondered before getting pulled out of his thoughts by Ember's voice.

"You've been different without your memories and that's why what we did felt so right. I can still remember it- Your hands on me, your lips, Your-" Ember caught herself before she could go further, and with a light throat clearing, she trailed off.

Evian smiled. He had liked her verbal descriptions and the look in her eyes. He was willing to bet her inner thighs were at the brink of moistening, but he pushed that thought aside.

"We can get to know each other better if you want. There's not much to know about me, anyway. My memories are literally a few weeks old." Evian said with a chuckle.

"And that's the first thing I want to know," Ember said as she moved her body closer to Evian, "How does it feel to not remember?"

"Can you be a bit more specific?" Evian asked.

"I mean, do you feel a gap?" Ember clarified.

"Not- really," Evian told her

It was the truth. To him, there was no break in memory. He remembered his life on Earth and it simply 'continued' in this world regardless of the body he now possessed.

"So you don't feel incomplete?" Ember pressed.

Evian shook his head,

"What will you do?"

"I have some plans," Ember admitted, "But primary of all is strength. I want to get stronger."

"I see," Evian said.

"You want to know why?"

"Do tell."

"I don't want to die," Ember said.

Evian paused. Even though she made it sound simple, there was something about how she said it, the quietness of it, the gentle and calm tone, and finally, the sad smile on her lips, that made it anything but simple.

"It's not cowardice," Ember said quickly.

"I never thought it was," Evian told her, "You SHOULD want to live."

Evian watched as her sad smile shifted into a comforted one before she opened her mouth to speak again.

"There's no afterlife-" She started to say,

"You mean YOU don't believe in one." Evian corrected her with a chuckle.

"I don't believe in one because it doesn't exist," Ember retorted, "Anyway when a person dies, that's the end. They're gone forever and only live on in the memories of those they left behind.

My Mother- she lives in my Memories. I feel like, if I die, that'd be it. She'll truly be gone... Does that make sense?"

Evian nodded,

"It does. But what about your Father? Surely she lives on in his memories as well."

"*Sigh* Maybe but I can only be sure about MY memories."

Evian nodded in agreement,

"True," he said.

He started tapping his fingers against the armrests of his chair letting the recent topic simmer seeing as Ember had revealed a somewhat intimate detail but then he saw the pretty redhead pull herself up to grab his wrist to pull him toward herself.

The moment Evian's back hit the bed, Ember stretched a leg over his waist before wrapping her arm around him to hold him close while she placed her head on his chest all in her quest for intimacy.

Evian placed a hand on her back and rubbed gently and after a few minutes enjoying the touch, Ember spoke again,

"I want to join the Martial Temple," she said quietly, "They provide the best resources and the best exposure. It would do me a lot of good."

"That's- certainly an idea," Evian said gently.

Ember smiled and gripped him even tighter,

"What about you?" she asked, "What are your plans after?"

Evian sighed,

"I've not really decided."

He wasn't lying or being cagey. He truly didn't have his future planned besides a desire to eventually explore beyond Verdelen City.

"You'll leave here soon, won't you?" Ember asked as she snuggled into his chest. 'Here' obviously referring to her room.

"I will," Evian answered simply.

Once it was a polite time for visitation, he planned to leave the Lockheart Mansion as stealthily as he had entered and set off for the Renan Estate.

Ember sighed and smiled,

"That's alright," she said, "At least you'll give a polite goodbye this time."

Evian chuckled and kissed the top of her head,

"I certainly will."

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