CH 75

“Umm… How old are you…?” Siegfried carefully asked.

“I’m twenty-four years old, hyung-nim!”

“No way! You don’t seem like it!” Siegfried sneered.

“But I really am twenty-four years old, hyung-nim.”

“R-Really…?”

“Yes, I was born in the year of the dog. Do you want me to show you my ID?”

“Wow… He’s actually younger than me…” Siegfried cursed under his breath.

“Is there something wrong?” Seung-Gu asked while tilting his head in confusion.

“By any chance… have you heard that you look old for your age?”

“I get that a lot,” Seung-Gu replied with a grin, and then he proudly added, “I was able to buy booze and cigarettes without anyone being suspicious of me when I was in middle school.”

“That’s amazing…” Siegfried said while staring at Seung-Gu’s face.

‘He looks so old…’ Siegfried thought while looking at Seung-Gu’s grinning face. He truly looked thirty years old, at the very least.

“But there are a lot of advantages to it, hyung-nim.”

“Like what…?”

“People like me will look young when we get old!”

“…”

“I win in the end if I look young when I get old, right? Do you agree, hyung-nim? Do you?”

“Sigh… How are you so childish with that face…” Siegfried sighed and shook his head.

“D-Do you agree…? Please agree with me…”

“You’re too noisy. Shut up and let’s go,” Siegfried grumbled and pulled the reins. He paused for a moment before throwing a bottle to Seung-Gu and said, “Drink that first.”

“H-Hyung-nim…!” Seung-Gu exclaimed. He looked like he was about to cry after receiving the Elixir of Proof from Siegfried.

“Thank you, hyung-nim! Loyalty! I swear my unshakeable loyalty to you!”

“Ugh…” Siegfried covered his face when he realized that things were going to get rowdy from now on.

***

Five minutes later, Seung-Gu recovered his levels after drinking the Elixir of Proof.

Search tinyurl.com/2p9emv8w for the original.

[Seung-Gu]

[Type: Adventurer]

[Level: 81]

[Class: Golem Maker]

[Titles: Site Leader, Construction Site Maestro, Skilled Administrator.]

This was the second helping hand that Siegfried gave Seung-Gu.

“Hyung-nim! I will serve you from now on!” Seung-Gu exclaimed passionately.

“How?” Siegfried asked.

“Please give me a moment,” Seung-Gu said. He threw one of his five rings to the ground.

Wooong!

An octagram magic circle appeared on the ground, and something large started to rise up from it.

[Range Wagon]

[The main method of transport for the Golem Maker. It is capable of traversing most terrains, and it is widely known as the king of off-road vehicles.]

[Type: Mechanical Tank Golem]

[Level: 81]

[Additional Details: The Range Wagon grows along with its user, and it can be equipped with various equipment to further enhance its capability as a vehicle and as a heavy equipment.]

Surprisingly, Seung-Gu’s Range Wagon was an extremely versatile vehicle, and it resembled an armored vehicle rather than a normal vehicle.

“Please, hop on board, hyung-nim. It looks rough, but it is pretty comfortable,” Seung-Gu said, showing off his tank-sized Range Wagon.

“O-Okay…”

“It’s pretty fast as well. It’s as fast as a horse running at top speed. Hehe!”

“Then, shall we give it a try?” Siegfried said after hopping on board the Range Wagon.

“Vroom! Vroom! Here we go! Giddy up!” Seung-Gu exclaimed excitedly.

Siegfried could not understand why he had to say ‘giddy up!’ while driving a vehicle…

***

The Church of Osric’s hideout in the Proatine Province was a normal-looking grape farm with a brewery attached to it. However, its name was actually the Center for Cultivation of New Believers, and this was where they brainwashed the people they had abducted by forcefully indoctrinating them with their ideology and forcing them to pledge their loyalty to the church. Of course, the indoctrination was just mind-control magic.

A problem occurred at the Center for Cultivation of New Believers.

Booom!

A mortar shell flew from out of nowhere and destroyed the tall walls surrounding the brewery. Mud, stone, iron, and fire golems rushed into the opening.

“It’s an enemy!”

“Prepare the followers for battle!”

“It’s an enemy ambush!”

The average-looking brewery workers shouted, and they changed into long black robes with masks on their faces. Afterward, they took up arms.

However, they couldn’t retaliate.

Vroooom!

A large tank suddenly charged into the brewery and ran over the Church of Osric members.

“Hyung-nim! I swept them up! What do you think? It’s a bulldozer, right?!” Seung-Gu exclaimed and smirked after parking his vehicle.

“Agreed,” Siegfried replied. He had to agree with Seung-Gu this time.

[You have gained experience points!]

[You have gained experience points!]

[You have gained experience points!]

Seung-Gu’s rough parking just now killed five Church of Osric members in the blink of an eye.

“Hyung-nim! The boys and I will escort you! Let’s go!”

“Sure… Let’s go…”

Seung-Gu and the golems surrounded Siegfried as if they were his bodyguards.

‘This doesn’t feel so bad… Having some comrades feels good for a change,’ Siegfried thought as his opinion of Seung-Gu slightly changed.

Golem Maker Seung-Gu wasn’t that strong in one-on-one fights, but he clearly made up for it with his powerful golems.

‘He seems pretty useful,’ Siegfried thought while observing Seung-Gu.

No, he was much more useful than he initially thought.

The 3.5 meters tall golems weighed hundreds of kilograms each, and they were nothing short of a disaster for the Church of Osric members. Seung-Gu didn’t even have to join in on the fight. All he had to do was follow his golems leisurely.

[You have gained experience points!]

[You have gained experience points!]

[You have gained experience points!]

And Siegfried thoroughly savored the deluge of Experience Points…

***

The Center for Cultivation of New Believers had a room in the basement called the Room of Faith, and the abducted people were currently being brainwashed in it. The abductees had long needles inserted into their heads while they were bound.

“C… Cardinal-nim! There is an emergency!”

“Emergency?” a blonde-haired woman wearing a white robe turned around.

[Leaz]

[Type: NPC]

[Race: Human]

[Level: 110]

[Affiliation: Church of Osric]

[Position: New Believer Cultivator]

[Title: White Cardinal]

Leaz held the title of White Cardinal as one of the five cardinals of the Church of Osric.

“What do you mean, emergency?” Leaz asked.

“Ah, we think that we’re being attacked by the Guardians!” replied the follower.

“What? The Guardians?” Leaz muttered in surprise. Then, her eyes boiled with visible rage as she growled, “How did they find out about this place?! We kept this place as secret as possible!”

“I… I do not know how, but it seems that there has been a leak somewhere.”

“Damn it! How many enemies are there?”

“There are two.”

“Two?” Leaz seemed taken aback as she asked, “That’s all?”

“However, one of them seems to have golems under their control…”

“I’ll personally deal with them,” Leaz said in a cold voice before commanding, “You! Go to our nearest base and request for reinforcements just in case things go south. Do you understand?!”

She had to request for reinforcements because the Center for Cultivation of New Believers was a tightly guarded secret. They were trying their best to keep things under the radar as much as possible, so there weren’t many people stationed in it.

“Ha! Those fools dare mess with me?” Leaz scoffed with a sinister smile before grumbling, “They dare to invade with only two people? Hehe… I will rip them to pieces and feed them to—”

Booom!

All of a sudden, something demolished the walls of the Room of Faith.

The ‘thing’ that demolished the walls was an iron fist as large as an adult’s head. Then…

Crumble… Crumble…!

Four large golems emerged from the opening, and they crammed themselves into the Room of Faith. Behind them were Siegfried and Seung-Gu.

“You!” Leaz shouted after recognizing Siegfried, and then she raged, “Siegfried! You little monkey! You dare disrupt our plans again?!”

“Do you know me?” Siegfried tilted his head in confusion.

“Ha! How can I not? The information network of our church is not that dull! You’re that greenhorn who disrupted our plans at the Sohoca Ruins and at Herbert’s Grave!” Leaz angrily screamed in response.

“Wow! I had no idea that you’re a big shot, hyung-nim! Even a deranged cult member is familiar with you! You are legen—wait for it—dairy![1]” Seung-Gu exclaimed.

Seung-Gu seemed childish, unlike his middle-aged looks.

“W-What does that mean?! You dare exchange cryptic messages in the presence of I, the White Cardinal?!” Leaz screamed, seemingly taken aback by Seung-Gu’s words.

There was no way that she would understand what Seung-Gu was saying since such childish humor didn’t exist in this world in the first place.

“I have no idea what he’s saying either. This guy is a bit weird, you see,” Siegfried replied while distancing himself from Seung-Gu.

“H-Hyung-nim… Am I weird…?” Seung-Gu asked with a very sad look.

“Yes, you are embarrassing me, too,” Siegfried replied.

“You’re… too mean…” Seung-Gu sulked.

“Just stay out of this…” Siegfried pushed him back and charged toward Leaz.

“No, hyung-nim! I will handle her!”

“What? Do you plan to bring this whole place down?”

“Ah… Then I won’t use my golems!”

“But you’re weak...”

“…”

“I’ll handle her, so go up and get rid of the small fries upstairs,” Siegfried concluded.

“Okay…”

It seemed that Seung-Gu received a lot of emotional damage after being told that he was weak. Unfortunately, it was inevitable.

Why?

Because he was truly weak. Golem Maker was a class that was as good as dead if their golems were destroyed or if they ran out of mana. It was the most fatal weakness of Seung-Gu’s class.

“I’m going to make you regret your decision. How dare you even dream of standing up against me, a cardinal of the church!” Leaz growled.

Pukeok!

In response, Siegfried smashed his mace into her thigh.

“Kyaaaahk!” Leaz screamed in agony.

“How dare you come here and cause a scene in my house? Do you have a death wish?” Siegfried said while smashing his mace into the White Cardinal.

“You son of a bitch…!”

“Hmm? You look like you’ll be very pretty with plastic surgery. What do you think of having your chin slightly pushed in?” Siegfried said while staring at her protruding chin.

“W-What do you mean…?”

“There’s this thing called anterior segmental osteotomy. I’ll do it for free, so you’re in luck.”

And it started.

Pak! Pak! Pak!

Siegfried mercilessly struck the White Cardinal’s protruding chin with his mace.

Performing unlicensed surgeries was illegal under the law, and anyone caught would face imprisonment, but that didn’t matter to Siegfried.

Why?

Because he wasn’t on Earth, but in the Nürburg Continent.

***

Leaz didn’t last long. She couldn’t even put up a fight against Siegfried despite being the White Cardinal of the Church of Osric. She died after receiving a one-sided beatdown from Siegfried with his mace.

There was nothing surprising about the outcome since the reason she became the White Cardinal in the first place wasn’t because of her combat prowess but because of her medical knowledge and the magic she possessed that could dominate and control the minds of people. In short, the White Cardinal, Leaz, was a non-combatant specializing in cultivating loyal followers for the church.

“Tsk…”  Siegfried clicked his tongue while looking down at Leaz’s lifeless body. “The surgery went well, but the patient could not endure the process.”

Meanwhile, a Church of Osric signalman hiding in the corner felt chills all over his body after hearing Siegfried’s words.

‘What do you mean the surgery went well?! You damned psychopath bastard! You just smashed her face in!’

Consult a doctor.

Get your treatment from a doctor.

Do your cosmetic enhancements from a doctor.

This was a classic example of what would happen to your face if an unlicensed quack were to operate on you.

“T-This is the Center for Cultivation of New Believers! This is the Center for Cultivation of New Believers! Requesting response. Over!” the signalman exclaimed into the radio receiver. However...

Bzzt… Bzzt…

Only static could be heard over the radio.

“Hmm?” Siegfried stared at the signalman’s fear-stricken face for quite a while before saying, “You look like you’ll look really handsome if we slightly alter your nose…”

“H—Hiiik!” the signalman shrieked as his face turned ghastly pale.

“It looks like you have an aquiline nose[2]... That can cause rhinitis in the future…”

“I am fine! I will just live with it! Aha… ha… hahaha…!”

“No, your looks are quite important, you know? People are pretty competitive out there these days. I think that you will look really handsome if we slightly alter it a bit, what do you say?”

“No! I am thankful for what my parents gave me!”

“C’mon, don’t be so mean and refuse my offer now…” Siegfried said while walking toward the signalman with a bloody mace in his hand.

Drip… Drip… 

A warm liquid drenched the signalman’s pants.

It seemed that he ended up pissing himself after witnessing the horrors of the Unlicensed Quack, Dr. Siegfried.

1. Author-nim used a different wordplay here, but there’s no way to translate it into English because it’s pure gibberish nonsense, even in Korean. Just an expression without any meaning… so this expression from a certain famous sitcom was used instead. Let me know in the comments if any of you knows where it’s from. lol ☜

2. Also known as a hooked nose, see for more information https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquiline_nose ☜