CH 11

Xu Juan knew deep down in his heart; Since he wasn’t able to control himself and made this move, if he didn’t set things in stone with Pei Yu right this instant, once Pei Yu walked out this door, then he would probably never get the chance to meet him ever again.

He risked it all and thickened his skin, hugging the other and refusing to let go. 

Pei Yu was irked now: “When did I kiss you! It was you who acted recklessly! … Let go of me!”

“I don’t want to.” Xu Juan buried his face to his shoulder, his voice filled with grievance, “You definitely kissed me. If not, why didn’t you push me away? You’re a grown man, not a weak little girl. Your reaction was clearly silent consent. What’s the difference between me kissing you with your silent consent, and you kissing me? But you actually denied it after we were done kissing. I never expected you to be this sort of person, you’re such a player, Pei laoshi.”

Pei Yu: “……”

Xu Juan was insistent: “You’re even blushing and your heart is beating so fast. Do you think I haven’t noticed? You obviously enjoyed it, why are you pretending to be straight? Are you saying this on purpose to string me along? How could you be like this…” 

Pei Yu was dumbfounded for quite a while, then he pushed Xu Juan away: “Don’t take it too far!”

This was a response to Xu Juan’s words; He wasn’t a little girl who had no strength. The push made Xu Juan stagger and hit his back against the desk — it actually hurt a lot.

But Xu Juan’s performance was barely at the halfway mark, how could he be afraid of pain? He immediately chased after Pei Yu who was about to walk out and blocked him, kicking the door to the study shut with a bang.

Xu Juan hugged Pei Yu again like a koala, stubbornly sticking to him. Although Pei Yu wasn’t weak, it was difficult for him to show it; Pei Yu was a gentleman after all, so despite being offended, it was unlikely he would turn to violence and hit him. As expected, he didn’t struggle free even after a long time had passed.

Xu Juan saw this as an opportunity, switching up his attitude to a softer one after being forceful: “I’m sorry, it’s true I went a little too far, but I thought you were being reluctantly consenting and was actually willing too… If you want to string me along, that’s fine as well. I’m willing to do anything as long as you don’t push me away, please?”

“……”

As the saying went, even tough women fear clingy men. Pei Yu wasn’t a “tough woman”, he was in fact probably purer and more innocent than the Xiaolongnü who grew up in an ancient tomb, and couldn’t see through a scumbag’s façade at all. Xu Juan confessed through Wechat and he wasn’t even able to ward him off, now Xu Juan was being all loving and adoring in front of him, how was he supposed to know what to do in response?

Xu Juan’s lines could be easily adjusted according to the circumstances; When he resisted fiercely, Xu Juan’s attitude softened. When he was dumbfounded and at a loss, Xu Juan started to boldly probe again, finding a way to take liberties with him. 

“Did you really feel nothing at all just now? Really? I don’t believe it.”

Xu Juan briefly shifted his face on Pei Yu’s shoulder and pressed his lips against his neck, giving him a soft, sudden kiss.

This kiss was both scalding and unexpected. It was wet, carrying a sliver of ambiguity. Pei Yu’s entire body trembled and he gave Xu Juan a harsh shove out of reflex.

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“Pei Yu.” Xu Juan softened his voice. He also lowered his gaze, lashes weighed down with tears. He didn’t look at Pei Yu, staring at the ground as he spoke, “I won’t let you leave. I don’t believe you don’t like me even a little bit. You clearly said you admired me, and when we kissed earlier, your response was also quite enthusiastic… Putting two and two together, doesn’t that mean you like me?”

Xu Juan was undoubtedly a mathematical olympiad candidate; He excelled at addition.

Perhaps it was because Pei Yu had never seen a man cry, so he was stumped by his tears, momentarily forgetting to refute.

Xu Juan said: “Even if you don’t like me, wouldn’t you at least feel some good vibes? Feelings can be nurtured, and don’t I meet your standards as a partner? I’m young, healthy, rich, have a variety of interests and hobbies, sentimental. Most importantly, I know calligraphy and can satisfy you very well. I like you very much and am willing to indulge you. Will you be able to find someone other than me who’s more suited to you? Although you don’t like me now, won’t you at least consider me? Let’s give nurturing a try.” 

“……”

Pei Yu held his tongue for a long while. He was about to reply when Xu Juan immediately interrupted him, again saying: “Don’t say it’s because of gender, you don’t seem to like women either. So many ladies were pursuing you but you wouldn’t even glance their way. You never know, maybe men are where your interests truly lie? If you don’t try, how will you know you can’t accept men? I’m willing to give you a free trial. Try me out, please, Pei laoshi?”

“What– What nonsense are you saying, can’t you have a little shame!” It wasn’t clear if Pei Yu was embarrassed or if he was annoyed. His cheeks were flushed red and it seemed from his expression that he wanted to admonish Xu Juan, but the tears on Xu Juan’s face had yet to dry; Half his fury died down upon seeing that pitiful appearance and he wasn’t able to say anything harsh at all.

Xu Juan coughed lightly and ran a hand over his face. He walked over and stood in front of him, he looked apologetic but really he was trying to take further advantage of whatever leeway he had, saying: “I’m sorry, I know I was wrong. Please don’t be angry? I shouldn’t have kissed you when you were unwilling. Why don’t we do it like this, you can kiss me in return, I will absolutely not resist.” 

Pei Yu got so angry it was ridiculous: “Exercise some restraint!”

“Sorry.” Xu Juan said obediently, “but I really do like you a lot, Pei laoshi.”

“……”

Xu Juan was both forceful and meek, and was even skilled at making a scene. Pei Yu suffered defeat after defeat, and right now, he was unable to even lose his temper. 

Pei Yu stared at him for a while, equal parts furious and annoyed, then suddenly said: “I’m not angry anymore, you don’t have to apologize. Just pretend I was never here today. In the future, let’s not keep in touch. I no longer want the painting, as for the calligraphy scroll, I’ll return it through express delivery. That’s all. I’m leaving.”

Pei Yu walked towards the door, Xu Juan instantly blocked the entrance: “No. If you want to leave, you might as well kill me.”

Pei Yu ignored him and stubbornly reached for the door handle.

Xu Juan said: “Since you plan to kill my heart, why leave me a life? Might as well go easy on me and let me die with a little more closure—— Pei Yu!” 

“……”

That last call was full of despair,  when Pei Yu turned around to look, Xu Juan’s eyes had gone red. He truly looked as if his heart had been thoroughly ravaged; He seemed tough and hateful, but also fragile and pitiful, bitterly begging him.

Pei Yu fell silent for a while, watching Xu Juan lower his head to hide his expression, it was as if he was about to cry again.

Pei Yu had never met anyone like this. Nowadays, as long as someone understood the concept of limits, they wouldn’t do such undignified things while pursuing another person. However, Xu Juan behaved recklessly, he could make one agitated, and he could amaze them. No matter how calm and self-restrained someone was, when dealing with him, it was difficult not to be led by the nose. 

“What exactly do you like about me?” Pei Yu didn’t understand, “We haven’t known each other for long, has it even been half a month? You don’t know the slightest thing about me, how can you be so certain you’ve fallen for me? I hope you can be more rational, Xu Juan.”

Instead, Xu Juan said: “I’m not being irrational. How do you determine what to like is, and what to know is? Desire is a type of spiritual impulse, does it have to be related to knowing someone? Also, how do I not know you, I know how you look, your personality, what you like—— Are we not considered soulmates? Must you insist I run a full background check on you, learn in detail the previous three generations of your family, ask about your parents’ occupations, how much savings you have… Is this then considered knowing you? That’s not dating, that’s assessing a potential partner for marriage suitability.”

“……” Words had completely failed Pei Yu.

Xu Juan took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes again, then reached out to pull at his hand: “To be honest, looking for a marriage partner isn’t a bad thing. You’re no longer that young either, why insist on being single? Try it out with me, I promise, there won’t be a partner more suitable for you than me. Please, Pei laoshi?” 

“……”

“Don’t remain silent, if you don’t say anything, I’ll take it that you’ve agreed.”

Xu Juan held tightly onto Pei Yu’s fingers, moving close to lean against Pei Yu.

“I like you a lot.” These words did carry some sincerity. He realized that Pei Yu was indeed very likeable. If any girl out there were lucky enough to succeed in pursuing him, he would definitely be a good husband. Regrettably, Pei Yu wasn’t very fortunate and instead met with himself. His chances of becoming a husband were probably next to nothing now. 

Xu Juan tried wrapping his arms around Pei Yu’s waist, shifting even closer to say in a soft voice: “Can I kiss you again? Just once, I’ll be gentle.”

“……”

Pei Yu turned his face away, it was difficult to determine if this action meant consent or rejection. Xu Juan took his chances and pressed Pei Yu against the door. When he kissed him, he restrained both Pei Yu’s hands and slotted his knee between Pei Yu’s legs, trapping him.

But it was completely unnecessary, Pei Yu didn’t really resist. 

Xu Juan was a little dazed. His lips parted from Pei Yu’s, the kiss was quite fervent and a thread of silver stretched between them. He inclined forward to lick Pei Yu, then saw the other’s flushed face. Very carefully, he said: “…You’ve agreed?”

“No.” Pei Yu resolutely maintained his self-respect, “I don’t like you. Why are you so annoying? Is pestering someone like this very fun?”

“Oh.”

Xu Juan nodded in understanding. Wasn’t this sentence basically him being a tsundere? It was similar to a girl’s “you’re so annoying, I don’t want to have anything to do with you”.

Xu Juan knew very well when he could advance, and when it was time to step back. He subtly gave Pei Yu a way out, saying: “I’m sorry, I was probably too excited earlier, but I don’t have any intention of forcing you into anything. You have the right not to like me, but I’m still of the opinion that, if you don’t try, how will you know that it can’t be?”

“……” 

“Why don’t we give it a try? Just a try, it’s not considered dating. If you think we won’t work out, you can end it anytime, I will definitely not force you. How about it, can you accept this relationship?”

Xu Juan’s tricks were endless, he thought, Pei Yu shouldn’t have a reason to reject. A real straight man would never let himself be kissed so easily, neither would he allow such a series of follow-up events. Pei Yu was deep in the closet and unaware of it, even now, he still hadn’t figured out what was going on, and Xu Juan had the advantage.

But the more advantage a person had, the more they shouldn’t show their strength. Only a man who knew how to dote on their partner was considered mature, driven and tolerant.

This was something Xu Juan did very well in, he was gentle, tender and put himself down, dangling a small dose of drugs in front of Pei Yu, as if luring him: Just a little, it’ll be as if you haven’t taken it, you’ll be fine. Then, he quietly waited for Pei Yu’s answer. 

Finally, Pei Yu was willing to take the given way out: “You’d better honor your word. When I decide to end it, you can’t pester me anymore?”

“Absolutely.” Xu Juan’s lips curved, “Then, if I want to kiss you again right now, can I?”

Pei Yu’s ears turned red, his temper flaring: “Why are you so annoying!”

T/N: A moment of silence for Pei Yu… Also, on top of the raws from cp, I’ve dug around for more uncensored versions of the text (which is what my translations are based off of), and if there’s nsfw (in future chapters), I’ll put the nsfw content under a dropdown!