CH 22

Pei Yu was clearly anxious. After sending the voice message, he didn’t wait for Xu Juan to reply before calling him a second time.

Unable to decline again, Xu Juan could only head outside with his phone to pick it up. 

Compared to the ruckus in the private room, it was much quieter in the corridor.

Xu Juan hurried into the washroom, rushing to accept the call before the ringing stopped.

“Xu Juan, where are you?” There was anger suppressed in Pei Yu’s voice, “I rushed home the moment my work was done, wanting to surprise you. Who would have thought, it was you who surprised me! Didn’t you say you were going to sleep, where are you sleeping, then?! Why did you lie to me?”

“……” 

Xu Juan moved the phone a little further away, waiting for Pei Yu to finish his outburst before bringing it close to his ear again.

Honestly speaking, the last person who had used this tone to lecture him was his dad.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you.” When Xu Juan told lies, there was no need for him to think it through, “I have some business, so I’m attending an obligatory social event outside and can’t go back until a little later. I didn’t tell you this directly because I was worried you’d overthink.”

“Really?” Pei Yu didn’t buy it, “Didn’t you say you weren’t busy with work? You don’t even go to work often, what sort of social event would require you to stay out so late? Also, isn’t this too much of a coincidence? When I’m home, you didn’t even have a single social event. But once I’m not home, you suddenly have some business to attend to?”

Xu Juan: “……”

Pei laoshi was usually so clueless, pure as a sheet of paper. So why was he so sharp during critical moments?

But this probably wasn’t a matter of being sharp or not.

When he met Pei Yu for the first time, it was because of Tang Sisi. He left a terrible impression of himself with Pei Yu, then used “social niceties” and “being left with no other option” as excuses to redeem himself, which Pei Yu believed. 

Not even much time had passed since then, if he brought up social niceties again now, Pei Yu’s train of thought would inevitably swerve in that direction by association.

Though of course, associating these two matters wouldn’t be wrong of him at all.

But Xu Juan couldn’t tell the truth, their honeymoon phase had but just begun. Xu Juan hadn’t enjoyed himself enough, how could he be willing to end it?

“You’re overthinking.” Xu Juan let out a sigh, seemingly serious, “I knew you would get the wrong idea, that’s why I didn’t dare to tell you, how would I have known you’d come home today… You have to trust me a little, Pei Yu. Of course, I should also trust in you. You’re not a very unreasonable person, so I’ll be straightforward.” 

Pei Yu didn’t respond, Xu Juan was uncertain if the other believed him, continuing: “Wait a little while for me, okay? I’ll come home right now.”

Pei Yu maintained his silence, directly hanging up on the call.

“……”

We Aejc rajgfv ja atf “mjii fcvfv” qgbwqa bc tlr rmgffc jcv kfca lcab j vjhf obg j ofk rfmbcvr. Pa kjr jr lo tlr tfjga tjv yffc oliifv klat tjio j xlibugjw bo mfwfca; Pa ofia tfjns jcv lc mtjbr, reqqgfrrlcu tlr ereji mbcolvfcmf. 

Kb yf tbcfra, tf tjv ifv atlr oglnbiber jcv lvif ilofrasif obg rb wjcs sfjgr, yea abvjs kjr atf olgra alwf j qjgacfg tjv mtfmxfv lc bc tlw.

Forget merely leaving the house to play mahjong, even if he sponsored another and kept them in his home, then slept with someone else outside, what could anyone do? It’s not like he hadn’t done all that either, but his lover from that time hadn’t dared to say anything even when they found out. Because a lover was a lover, they had no right to control him.

But he and Pei Yu weren’t in that sort of relationship.

Pei Yu was sincerely dating him, he wasn’t after his benefits, he simply liked him. This fact alone made him very content. 

But there were two sides to all things; There weren’t enough true feelings in a sponsor relationship, hence there was freedom. And although dating was pure and beautiful, it required him to take responsibility, it locked him up in a fixed space, no longer allowing him to admire the scenery outside.

—— Responsibility.

To others, it was regarded as a matter of course. However, to Xu Juan, it was a kind of “sacrifice”.

He did indeed like Pei Yu, but was sacrificing his freedom for Pei Yu worth it? 

Xu Juan spaced out in the washroom for a while, all these confusing thoughts flashed by, but he couldn’t come to a conclusion.

He was a person easily swayed by his feelings; He did whatever made him happy. The happiest route was naturally the best of both worlds, “freedom” and “Pei Yu”, he wanted them all.

Xu Juan bid Guo Shao a quick farewell and left the gathering early.

Before he left, he took a simple shower in one of the clubhouse rooms that had an attached bathroom. He changed into a new set of clothes that the staff prepared for him, and made sure that there wasn’t any scent of women’s perfume on his body or any other traces he shouldn’t have left on him. Then, he drove home. 

About half an hour after he went onto the road, he gave Pei Yu a call, but Pei Yu didn’t pick up.

When he got home, it was just past midnight. Xu Juan parked the car in the garage, and getting off, he saw that the light in the living area was still on. Through the glass windows, he saw Pei Yu sitting on the sofa with his back to him and head lowered, it was uncertain if he was reading or if he was spacing out.

Xu Juan stood outside, mulling over this thoughts for a moment, before entering.

“I’m back.” He changed into slippers and walked into the living room, deliberately saying, “Pei laoshi? Hello, is Pei laoshi home?”

“……”

Pei Yu was reading a book, but after staring at him for a long time, Xu Juan didn’t see him flip a page. He clearly wasn’t seriously reading. 

Xu Juan walked up to the sofa and sat down beside Pei Yu.

“Are you mad?” Just as always, he reached an arm out to wrap around Pei Yu’s waist, but Pei Yu was at the peak of his anger, he suddenly snapped the book shut, then tossed it onto the coffee table with a smack.

“……”

The sound wasn’t considered loud, but the night was extremely quiet, so all grating sounds seemed especially sudden. Xu Juan’s eyelid twitched. He gazed at Pei Yu’s icy expression, unable to speak for the next few seconds. 

Recently, Pei Yu had been too gentle and tender towards him. How could he have forgotten, that Pei Yu was initially an unapproachable iceberg.

But what of it?

The iceberg had long since melted. Pei Yu liked him, all tigers with feelings were paper tigers.

“You don’t believe me?” Xu Juan once again tried to hug him, sprawling on Pei Yu’s shoulder as he spoke unhurriedly, “I haven’t done anything, I only went out for a bit, but taking your feelings into consideration, I didn’t want you to overthink, so I didn’t tell the truth. Why won’t you believe me, Pei Yu?” 

“……”

Seeing Pei Yu all silent, Xu Juan asked even though he already knew the answer: “What are you mad about? You thought I was doing despicable things behind your back?”

“Weren’t you?” Pei Yu turned to look at him, “Whose social event were you obliged to attend, were they the same people I saw that time? Were you hugging someone else again, a young lady similar to Tang Sisi? Am I right?”

Xu Juan: “……” 

It was said that women had a very accurate sixth sense, did men have a sixth sense too?

Xu Juan let out a small laugh: “I wasn’t, don’t wrongly accuse me.”

Pei Yu stared at him.

Xu Juan’s smile faltered: “All right, I’ll tell the truth. Actually, I didn’t have work, I went out to drink and play mahjong. You don’t know, do you, ever since we started dating, I spent every day with you. Whenever the guys invited me to hang out, I declined and didn’t attend a single one. Because of this, they were making fun of me behind my back, saying I’m, you know…” 

“You’re what?”

“A submissive husband.”

“……”

Embarrassment coloured Pei Yu’s face: “What nonsense are they spouting. It’s not like I’m a woman, that’s not how it should be said.” 

“That’s basically what it means.” Xu Juan said, “That’s why I thought, since you wouldn’t be home tonight and I was pretty bored on my own, why don’t I go play mahjong with them.”

“Really?”

“What else could it be?”

Xu Juan clutched at Pei Yu’s hand, locking their fingers together: “You can’t be so distrustful of me, Pei laoshi. Am I really such an abominable person in your heart?” 

“……No.” Pei Yu looked down, staring at their entwined fingers, quietly saying, “It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s that I’m insecure. I always find that we’re progressing too fast, my heart doesn’t feel at ease.”

“You’ve already said this once before.” Xu Juan said, “My answer is still the same. Feelings and time are not very relative. Even if two people have been in love for ten long years, it’s not rare to find such couples who eventually separate to go their own ways. Those who fell in love at first sight and immediately got married, then lived happy lives, there are also countless people like that. Also, we’re not exactly progressing that fast, are we? Dating is like that, we’re together because we like each other. Getting along well, slowly learning about and understanding each other better, isn’t that a very good thing?”

Xu Juan shifted his body and laid down sleepily in Pei Yu’s lap, letting out a yawn: “I understand why you don’t feel at ease with me, we’ve never interacted in the past. You’re not familiar with my social circle and lifestyle, once I’m out of your sight, you can’t imagine what I’m doing, you don’t know who I’m having fun with, what their character is like, and if they’ll be a bad influence to me… You don’t know anything, but I know you very well. I know where you work, what you’re busy with, and that you’re surrounded by upright people. —— This distrust was caused by our imbalance of information, am I getting this right, Pei laoshi?”

“……” Pei Yu was dazed, thinking that this might indeed be the case, “Then what should we do?” 

“That’s an easy fix!” Xu Juan swiftly got up from his lap and hugged his neck, giving him a sweet kiss, “I’ll take you out to have fun and introduce you to my friends, how about it?”

“Will that cause you trouble?” Pei Yu asked, reserved.

“Of course it won’t, you’re my boyfriend, they all know that.”

“……” 

The words “they all know that” satisfied Pei Yu greatly, the shadow looming in his heart suddenly dispersed, and his expression looked better as well.

Tentatively, Xu Juan said: “So, are you still mad at me?”

Pei Yu didn’t reply.

Tilting backwards, Xu Juan leaned against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. He pointed at his own face and said: “If you’re mad, kiss my left cheek. If you’re not mad, kiss my right cheek. If you love me, kiss the middle.” 

He heard Pei Yu let out a small laugh. Then, shortly after, a kiss fell upon his lips.

“I love you,” Pei Yu said quietly.