Chapter 85

Hooray, I think I’m finally free from new years celebrations, now I can spam updates again…. i hope…not that the schedule will change anyway, but I’ve fixed the delay in patreon updates caused by my lack of IQ

-Helli

Gu Yan glared at Qin Yao as if he wished he was joking, but Qin Yao’s face was completely serious. Seeing this, Gu Yan did not move anymore. He sneered:”Don’t you hate demons? Won’t you find this disgusting?”

“Don’t you know the reason I hate demons?”Qin Yao’s breathing calmed down and he spoke to him softly.

It was a contradictory proposition. The reason why Qin Yao hates demons is because a demon caused Gu Yan’s death, and now Gu Yan himself had turned into a demon as well. The one who should actually be in the most pain from this should have been him, but Gu Yan could not feel it. Qin Yao did not know what to say about it either.

“Sleep.”Qin Yao lowered his head and landed a kiss on Gu Yan’s forehead. With a deep and husky voice, he spoke,”I just want to hold you.”

“Why? Missing that guy of yours again? He’s clearly nothing like me, is he not?”Gu Yan mocked him,”Seems like you’re mentally ill, you’ll need a doctor, there’s no other wa……y……Mm……”

Qin Yao suddenly lowered his head down, covering Gu Yan’s lips with a kiss, forcing him to swallow down the rest of his words.

This kiss was both gentle and intimate, delicate, and long. At the same time, it even felt soothing. Only until Gu Yan could hardly catch his breath did Qin Yao finally let him go. He looked at him with deep eyes,”Do you feel like sleeping now?”

Gu Yan’s eyes reddened. He really did not expect Qin Yao to still be such a rascal. Does he plan to continue kissing him if he doesn’t sleep?!

Gu Yan took a deep breath and decided he would just close his eyes, he was too lazy to even speak anymore.

After staying a thousand years in the demon world, Gu Yan had long since been used to braving the winds and drinking the dew, suffering through all sorts of harsh living conditions. After he turned strong, and had his own territory and palace, he didn’t have to live like a street rat anymore. However……Whether he was weak or strong, he had always been alone.

It was impossible for demons to trust one another, they would always stay a distance away, never coming close with each other. This habit was carved straight into him, so as long as there were other demons next to him, he would not be able to sleep. The only person he trusted was himself. Don’t even mention being next to a demon or a human, even if he was alone, he would still never give up his vigilance. There will always be threats close by, so guarding himself against these were an instinct to him.

Demons can only feel at peace when they were alone, he was already used to it.

Gu Yan closed his eyes and he could feel Qin Yao’s strong arms over the side of his waist. Qin Yao’s movements were steady and strong, but he would never make him feel too uncomfortable. Because he could not see, his senses became even more sensitive. Qin Yao’s strong breath was so close, enshrouding him completely as he kept him in his arms.

Gu Yan should be struggling, but in fact, his heart was filled with contradicting feelings. No one has ever forced their way into his territory in such away, breaking his habits. He had never thought that such a day would come either. In his world, there existed nothing more than the lonely life with the death of others and the survival of own, not this……

However……After his discomfort from breaking his habits had passed, Gu Yan found himself quickly getting used to it.

This was very abnormal.

Gu Yan’s brows scrunched up. Even though this human cultivator was so close to him, he was still able to accept it. Why? He thought about it for a long time, and he suddenly found out that it was perhaps he knew that Qin Yao would not hurt him.

Even if this person was strong and dangerous, even with an erratic behaviour that had once threatened him. But Gu Yan was very convinced that Qin Yao would not hurt him. And when he was by his side, Qin Yao would never let anyone harm him either, Qin Yao had that ability to protect him.

This was really strange. Gu Yan had always hated being under the protection of someone else. he was strong enough by himself, but Qin Yao’s aura still made him feel at ease.

This peace of mind was not based on anything logical, but rather, and intuition. There was no logic or reason that could convince Gu Yan into trusting another person, but this feeling came from the bottom of his heart. Even if his mind was refusing it, his instinct still chose to believe in Qin Yao.

Why? He clearly could not remember, how could his mind be muddled so easily by a few words from this person?

He was clearly the demon, but he was the one who felt himself being enchanted instead.

Gu Yan tried his best to push those ridiculous thoughts out of his mind. How could he be willing to sleep with a human? He just had no other choice was all.

But even he did not expect that he would actually fall asleep so quickly.

Gu Yan had not slept for a some time, and since he fell asleep, he would have strange dreams. He knew in his heart that these were his memories, but those memories were nothing pleasant, there was no need for him to recall.

Just like now.

He suffered a grave injury and his armour was stained with blood. He supported himself by stabbing his sword into the ground, pushing him forward step by step.

Even though Emperor Chen Chan was a fool, he was not a cruel man and could even be described as generous. The only thing he lacked was the ability to rule, and he was unable to maintain the corruption of his dynasty that had been passed down for hundreds of years.

The great imperial Chen Dynasty was falling lower by the year and the officials were corrupt. Even with the shaken foundation, it still should not deteriorate this fast.

But that was until——The demon invasion. Those sinister demons would possess the humans, hiding among their ranks. They were ferocious and ruthless beings that would not only devour humans all across the land, they were also good at deluding them. Soon after, chaos broke out. Nobody knew which one of these indignant rebels were actually human, and which were demons.

The Qin family had always been loyal to the emperor, and he was no different.

Being entrusted with a mission at the critical moment, he led his army to suppress the rebellion. Under his iron command, the rebels could barely stay standing. But when he saw how thin and frail these rebels were, he became soft at heart. His ability was limited in the very end, he could not save the human world but he had his position.

He did not like to kill the innocent, nor would he ever think of abusing the prisoners. Similarly, his subordinates would not raze and scavenge the villages either. Even though bloodshed was inevitable, he still hoped to reduce the casualties.

Everyone had the right to survive, everyone——except for those demons.

So, they separated the demons ruthlessly from those captives, and they were all killed by the cultivators.

Killing these demons who were so anxious to see the world in ruins, is this……the way to bring peace back into the world? These were his thoughts.

Blood poured out endlessly from the wounds on his stomach and his thigh. These demons were very ferocious, and he had fallen to their plot.

He did not think that these demons would come together, and a powerful one amongst them had caught him unprepared. They started a fight with the cultivator soldiers under him, causing great casualties on both sides. In the end, only he and several of his men were able to escape.

He was hurt very heavily this time, and he might just die, but this did not come as a surprise to him. The day he received his sword from Emperor Chen Chan, he had expected to show his loyalty to his country one day. He could not turn the tides, but he wanted to give it his all……Until the day he dies.

He had fallen unconscious for several days, but he still managed to come out from it at the end. Perhaps his will to live was pretty tough.

The first thing he saw was a boy, and the boy was lying right beside him on his bed. His hair was messy and his clothes were a little dirty, he reckoned he must have been watching over him, and did not take care of himself. Seeing this, a slight warmth rose up in his heart.

No matter when or where, he would never leave him.

Humans may be despicable, selfish, greedy, and arrogant, but they still have a good side. How could we decide good and bad in such an arbitrary way? So, he was willing to protect the humans for the good they have.

Even a person like him whom nobody had any expectations for could find a person who cared about him, what else could he not be satisfied with?

He rubbed the head of the boy, and he woke up. Instantly, his eyes turned red as his chapped lips trembled:”Master, let me protect you in the future, alright? I’m scared……that you’d die……”

He smiled. So it turns out this was what it felt like to be worried over by someone. He said,”Sure, but you’re too weak right now. I will send you off to learn, and you can come back to protect me when you’re strong. What do you say?”

He nearly died this time, but what about next time? Perhaps he should be making arrangements.

He hoped that even if he was gone one day, this boy can still live a good life in this world. He did not need his protection, but he still needed to protect himself.

He was the one who added colour to his grey world.

Gu Yan opened his eyes abruptly. As he had expected, he was dreaming again.

So he used to be a fool? Protecting those humans who didn’t even like him, it’s no surprise he died such a tragic death in the end. No……It was not like he was hated by everyone, there was still Qin Yao. At least Qin Yao’s feelings towards him had never changed. But he could not remember anything anymore.

He turned his head slightly and saw Qin Yao sleeping right by his side. A night had passed, but he did not move, holding him in his arms till the morning.

Gu Yan observed his face. The face of that young boy in his dreams had already disappeared, replaced with this stern and cold face, but an outline of the boy could still be seen on his face. That boy who had once needed his protection had now become strong just like he said, and he was a man who could protect him now.

He could not even pass his chest in height during that year, but now he peeked over him by half a head in height. Time really was unpredictable, it could change a person so much.

But Qin Yao wasn’t the only one who changed……He did as well.

Qin Yao seemed to be deep in sleep. With his eyes closed, a faint shadow was left underneath his eyes by his eyelashes, and he could see his chest undulating faintly from his breathing. Gu Yan raised his hand up slowly, and his nails turned long and sharp. He moved closer to Qin Yao’s throat, leaving less than a centimetre of space before stopping. He had always wanted to kill this nosy human, and this was a good opportunity now. This way, nobody can ever interfere with him ever again.

He changed, he was no longer that person from Qin Yao’s memory. He was a cold-blooded demon, Qin Yao was right.

And he knew that he could never go back to the past anymore. Even if he could get all his memories back, he could not turn into that person anymore. Right now, he was nobody else but himself.

No matter how much of his time and feelings Qin Yao chose to waste on him, it would all go to waste.

All he had to do was raised his hand right now, and there was a great possibility he could kill this damned human now. He did not believe that after receiving such a great injury last time, Qin Yao was really unscathed. He was definitely suppressing it with force, so as long as he took this opportunity, he was still convinced he could kill Qin Yao.

Gu Yan stared at Qin Yao’s features.

But he suddenly found that he was unable to make his move.

It was such a good opportunity, but he could not do it.

As if a loud voice was shouting to him from his heart, stopping him, telling him that he would definitely regret it if he killed Qin Yao. That was something he would never be able to bear even if he died.

Gu Yan slowly let out a sigh. He put Qin Yao’s arm down gently, and left after putting his clothes on.

As he went down, Gu Yan closed the door.

After a moment, Qin Yao opened his eyes. Both his eyes were clear without any hint of haziness like one would have when they had just woken up, clearly showing that he had been awake for a long time.

He watched the door with a complicated expression, and a deep sigh rumbled from his throat.

“You remembered, didn’t you?”