Chapter 64

Ning Bai looked at the boy in pain, the boy seemed a little lost.

Ning Bai took a deep breath, stepped forward, gently held the boy in his arms, and said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault..."

He has no excuse.

He shouldn't have seen it.

Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, then pushed him away suddenly, and gave him a bitter look!

Go back to your room and slam the door!

Lin Ziran leaned against the door, his eyes changed, and he let out a sigh of relief. Thinking about it carefully, it was reasonable for Ning Bai to be worried that Lu Xiaodong would not think about it after reading the diary... Now let’s think back to Lu Xiaodong in the original plot. After Ning Bai failed, he was sent abroad with a broken leg and was abandoned by his beloved parents. Perhaps it was because of his despair of losing everything that he died after becoming addicted to drugs.

Lu Xiaodong may really have committed suicide.

Ning Bai is so smart, he must have been keeping close to him because he felt uneasy seeing the diary, which also explains why he didn't come before, but came later, that's when he found the diary.

Ning Bai's anomaly can basically be explained.

It's just such a shame...

Even if he is not the real Lu Xiaodong, it would be a little uncomfortable to be read the diary...

Lin Ziran looked a little embarrassed.

Then he sighed.

Speaking of Lin Ziran, I suddenly remembered something. Your game design is very meticulous, and the handwriting on this book is the same as mine. The same is true in the first world. All the places with Lu Zhen's handwriting are in his handwriting. Otherwise, when he played the role of the president, he would have revealed his signature when he signed it.

The system is proud to say that all relevant text props of the player's role are generated by extracting the player's own handwriting. We are committed to providing the most realistic game experience for the player.

Lin Ziran was indeed very thoughtful.

………………

At night, Ning Bai knocked on the door and said cautiously, "Xiaodong, I'm out for dinner."

Lin Ziran wouldn't make it difficult for Fan, so he opened the door and walked out.

Ning Bai looked a little nervous, afraid of irritating Lin Ziran, he didn't say a word during the meal.

Lin Ziran poked at the dishes in the bowl. In fact, he didn’t hate Ning Bai very much at this stage. After all, Ning Bai was just playing with himself at the beginning, and he voluntarily delivered it to the door, and now he has doubled his revenge. ...

It can be considered even.

He looked up at Ning Bai, Ning Bai had a silent expression, and there were two band-aids on his forehead... Lin Ziran was really embarrassed to lose his temper at him again.

He's just putting on a show, who knows if this guy will hide or not!

Ning Bai didn't have to be so kind to himself, he probably made a mistake because he still has a little conscience, which is different from his scumbag parents.

After all, he was not the culprit who caused Lu Xiaodong's tragedy.

He was even a victim in the original plot.

He didn't need him to make up for himself.

I must say what he did wrong... Probably when I said I liked him and chased him back then, he played me ruthlessly? And fell asleep three times?

Cough cough cough.

But anyway, reading people's diaries is so maddening!

Lin Ziran lowered his head to eat.

Ning Bai slightly raised his eyes, glanced at the boy in front of him, pursed his thin lips tightly, and felt very regretful in his heart, he managed to make the boy cheerful again and stop thinking about the past, but because of his own carelessness, he failed .

It's all his fault...

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Ning Bai got up and walked over to open the door. When he saw Lu Maofeng at the door, his face changed slightly, and he said in a low voice, "What are you doing here?"

Lu Maofeng looked at Ning Bai's cold and unwelcoming expression, and looked a little nervous. For some reason, he was a little afraid of this son, and Ning Bai would drive him away. He quickly said, "I'm here to find Xiaodong."

Ning Bai looked even colder, "He's not here."

It's about to close the door.

At this time, Lin Ziran heard the sound and came over, and said lightly, "Who asked you to make the decision for me?"

Ning Bai's face turned pale.

Lu Maofeng finally saw Lin Ziran, rubbed his hands together, and said flatteringly on his chubby face, "Xiaodong, your mother is sick and wants to see you."

Lin Ziran raised his eyebrows, isn't it, what kind of bloody plot is this? I'm afraid it's not a lie! Even if Feng Wan is really sick, it is impossible for her to want to see herself.

All she wanted to see was Ning Bai.

Lu Maofeng saw Lin Ziran's suspicion, and said sincerely, "It's true, she really wants to see you, you... I know you blame us, but after all, it's been so many years of relationship, you go and see her okay?"

Ning Bohan said, "I'll go." He wanted to see what kind of trick Feng Wan had.

Lu Maofeng was very embarrassed, "But what she wants to see is Xiaodong, but if you are worried about Ning Bai, you can come together..."

Lin Ziran pondered for a moment, then suddenly raised the corner of his mouth and smiled, "I'll go."

System, would you like to see her?

Lin Ziran, of course, I am the winner now, maybe she is begging for mercy, why wouldn't I dare to see her?

system……

Lin Ziran Today is the day when I, Lu Xiaodong, feel proud!

When Lu Maofeng heard that Lin Ziran was willing to go, he was very happy, and said repeatedly, "Father knows that your child is kind."

Lin Ziran gave him a sneer back.

Ning Bai felt a little uneasy in his heart, he wanted to stop it, but this was the boy's decision, he couldn't do it for him, or maybe he was still thinking about Feng Wan...

He was silent for a moment, then said, "I'll go with you."

………………

The three came to the hospital.

Feng Wan was really sick and hospitalized. She has not been in good health these years, and she still has some neurasthenia. A few days ago, she accidentally fell while cooking. Lin Ziran hasn't seen her for a few days. She looks thinner than before. ...

As soon as Feng Wan saw Lin Ziran coming, her expression became agitated, she stretched out her thin hand to grab his hand, and said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, Mom was so angry before, it's all Mom's fault, those are just angry words Don't take it to heart... In fact, mother cares about you, you are a good child of mother, no matter what you do, mother will not blame you..."

Lin Ziran looked at her mockingly.

Feng Wan's voice was broken and her eyes were pleading. In the past, she looked at him with only indifference, disregard, boredom, and impatience... This is the first time she has humbled herself to beg someone she didn't care about before. Feng Wan choked up and said, " Xiaodong...for the sake of these twenty years, you and mom will go home, mom will treat you well..."

Feng Wan paused for a moment, a look of hope flashed in his eyes, and said cautiously and nervously, "Also, you, it doesn't matter who you want to be with, even Ning Bai. Mom won't blame you because of this." Yours, you are all mother's good children..."

When Lin Ziran heard this, why didn't he understand Feng Wan's thoughts? She was giving in to herself.

In order to make Ning Bai willing to go home, he did not hesitate to pretend that he loved him very much, and even stopped objecting to her being with Ning Bai. It stands to reason that Feng Wan bowed his head to beg him, which should be a very happy thing, but he found that it was nothing more than that Bar……

Because even if she compromises and admits defeat, it is still for Ning Bai after all.

Not for Lu Xiaodong.

Lin Ziran suddenly wasn't very angry. In fact, this woman is also very sad, isn't she? Even if she hurt others, she has never been happy. Harming others and herself has no good results, but it's a pity... Lu Xiaodong has no right to choose.

Lin Ziran lowered his head, with a half-smile in his eyes, he approached her and said to her, "Who ever said that I'm sorry for your forgiveness?"

Lu Xiaodong never needed Feng Wan's forgiveness.

Feng Wan's face was pale, trembling slightly with anger, as if she couldn't believe that this was what the child said, she had clearly put down her figure, why, he still didn't want to come back? Doesn't he care about her words the most?

Lin Ziran looked at her disappointedly, this woman would never understand what was wrong with her.

He turned and left.

Ning Bai immediately followed them outside, Ning Bai grabbed Lin Ziran's wrist, his eyes worried, and said, "I told you not to come here..."

Feng Wan's attempt is so obvious.

Lin Ziran must have seen it too.

Lin Ziran looked into his worried eyes, shrugged, and said with a carefree smile, "I'm fine."

He looked calm and calm.

Originally it was none of his business, the reason why he came here today was just to give Lu Xiaodong an explanation.

Ning Bai looked into Lin Ziran's eyes. At this moment, he felt that the boy had really let go and really didn't care, but he was very afraid that he was wrong...

Lin Ziran suddenly looked at Ning Bai curiously, and said, "Why don't you want to go home?"

He figured out other things, but this was something he couldn't figure out. Although Feng Wan didn't treat Lu Xiaodong very well, her love for Ning Bai was beyond doubt.

But Ning Bai was willing to hurt her for himself.

Ning Bai saw Lin Ziran's doubts, his lips moved slightly, some things could not be explained in a few words, and he didn't want the boy to worry, he said seriously and slowly, "I said before, it has nothing to do with you if I don't go back, you just need to know this That's it."

Lin Ziran saw that this guy didn't want to say it, so forget it, he won't force it.

After all, who doesn't have a little secret?

………………

For the sake of Ning Bai's sincerity, Lin Ziran didn't bother to torment him anymore, besides he was about to leave, why bother?

He's not that boring.

And tearing it apart is tiring...

After dinner that day, Ning Bai looked at Lin Ziran gently, and said, "You're going to start school soon, how about I rent you a house near the school? It will be more convenient for you to go to school."

Lin Ziran was absent-minded, "Whatever."

Ning Bai said again, "At that time, I will need to add some more clothes. Let's forget about the previous ones. What do you like? I'll go shopping with you, okay...

By the way, there is also a car. If you don't like that one, how about I buy you a new one? "

Lin Ziran "..."

Seeing that Ning Bai was so serious about his future after school started, he thought of everything about food, clothing, housing and transportation, and suddenly felt a little embarrassed to tell him the truth. He couldn't tell Ning Bai that he didn't plan to go to school at all, could he?

At this time Xue Ze came over.

Lin Ziran breathed a sigh of relief.

Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai and Lin Ziran, and said with a smile, "Oh, you two are so sweet, Xiaodong, don't worry, Ning Bai is different from me, he is devoted and will never betray you!"

Ning Bai said in a deep voice, "Don't talk nonsense, I don't have that kind of relationship with him."

Lin Ziran kept a straight face and said nothing.

Xue Ze immediately pulled his mouth, indicating that he would not talk nonsense anymore, but he still couldn't stop glancing at the two of them.

After the three of them had dinner together in the evening, Xue Ze said to Ning Bai aggrievedly, "You can always come back to work now, right? You can't leave everything to me anymore!"

Ning Bai hesitated for a moment.

Lin Ziran immediately said, "Go to work, I'm fine."

Although Ning Bai was a little worried, he saw that Lin Ziran was really okay, and that he had been following him all the time, maybe he would make him unhappy. After thinking for a moment, he nodded and said, "Okay, I'll go back tomorrow."

………………

The next day, when Lin Ziran woke up, Ning Bai had already gone out, and it was rare for him to be alone in the house.

He yawned and found that Ning Bai had already made breakfast for him, just put it in the microwave to heat it up, and there was a note on the refrigerator in Ning Bai's neat and powerful font Wait for me to come back to cook at night, don't order takeaway up.

Lin Ziran rubbed his eyes, and ate his meal without washing his face.

He played games at home until five o'clock in the afternoon.

Suddenly it began to rain heavily outside.

The raindrops crackled on the window, Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, opened the drawer of the study, found out the Lamborghini car key that he detested, and went out.

Lin Ziran drove aimlessly.

It was raining heavily, and even though the wipers were scraping quickly, the vision in front was still a bit blurred, and the whole world looked gray.

What are you going to do with the system?

Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, I can't really wait until school starts...

The system... This player is desperate for not going to class.

Seeing the car on a bridge.

Lin Ziran stepped on the gas pedal, and suddenly the steering wheel bent, the car crashed through the guardrail and fell from the bridge.

At this time, the phone happened to light up, Lin Ziran looked down, it was a text message from Ning Bai, there was a traffic jam, I will be back a little later.

………………

Ning Bai hadn’t returned to the office for a long time, and was delayed by a lot of work. He sent a text message to Lin Ziran, and then continued to drive. When he got home, it was already half past six, but to his surprise, the lights at home were dimmed. and there was no human voice.

Ning Bai opened every room, but he didn't see Lu Xiaodong's shadow, and then he started calling Lu Xiaodong, but the phone was always off, and he couldn't get through... Ning Bai's uneasiness in his heart continued to expand , He carefully checked every corner of the house, and then found that the car keys in the drawer were missing.

Lu Xiaodong didn't like buying this car for him, so he never touched it. Why did he suddenly think of driving it today?

Ning Bai immediately called his friend and asked the traffic police to find out the whereabouts of the Lamborghini, and then waited anxiously.

He waited for more than an hour, and there was a reply soon, but his friend hesitated and refused to speak directly.

Ning Bai's expression changed suddenly, and he said sharply, "What's going on!"

The friend said, "I'll send you an address, come here now."

Ning Bai rushed out without opening his umbrella, drove out like crazy, didn't even care about running a red light, and soon came to the bridge that broke through the guardrail, and under the bridge was the rolling river , the surrounding area has been completely surrounded, and there are several police cars parked beside it...

Ning Bai walked forward dumbly, and walked to the edge of the broken gap, looking at the muddy river under the bridge, but he couldn't see clearly, he couldn't see clearly what was inside... So he wanted to get closer Look again, but suddenly someone grabs you back!

The police said, "What are you doing? You can't go there, it's dangerous over there!"

Ning Bai's Adam's apple rolled, and his voice was astringent, as if each word was squeezed out of his chest, he said, "Where is the person?"

"Search and rescue teams are already salvaging," the police said.

Then Ning Bai stopped talking, and he stood there waiting, letting the rain splash on his face and body, motionless. After several hours, the car was finally salvaged smoothly.

Ning Bai fixedly stared ahead, this time he finally saw clearly...

The boy is inside, he's still wearing his seat belt, he just won't move anymore...

Ning Bai walked over in a daze, he thought it was an illusion, he had imagined that there was no one in the car, but now he couldn't deceive himself anymore, he reached out and wanted to hug the boy, but was stopped by the police and asked "You Who is the dead man?"

Ning Bai lowered his eyes, and said in a gentle voice, as if he was afraid of disturbing anyone, "I am his elder brother."

Seeing him like this, the police sighed and stopped blocking him.

Ning Bai carefully carried the boy out of the car, and pushed aside the wet hair on his forehead, revealing the boy's delicate and quiet face, but it was a little pale from the blisters, and he looked a little embarrassed... Ning Bai closed arms, holding him tightly in his arms, as if he wanted to use his own body to warm the other's cold body...

"Did you do it on purpose? Or...was it just an accident?" Ning Bai asked softly.

But the other party will never reply to him again.

He is so quiet.

No anger, no noise, no temper tantrum, no provocation...

Not to mention liking him.

Seeing that he didn't answer, Ning Bai asked sadly, "Did you do it on purpose..."

Because you are blaming me, blaming me for not understanding you earlier, blaming me for not falling in love with you earlier, blaming me for not grabbing your hand earlier...

When you stood on the edge of the cliff and approached me like a moth to a flame, I didn't understand your despair and helplessness, but I pushed you away again and again...

Or, if I can be really brave, come out of the past earlier, and use another me to welcome your arrival...

None of this will happen.

I had a chance to fall in love with you earlier and bring you out of that house earlier...

But I'm just a coward.

I can't even save myself, how can I save you?

actually……

I'm the most useless one.

………………

A few days later, Ning Bai took care of the funeral himself.

Jiang Xuan heard the news and rushed over. He couldn't believe the result. The boy was fine not long ago, why did he suddenly disappear?

what happened?

Jiang Xuan grabbed Ning Bai's collar, his eyes were red, and he said angrily, "Why didn't you take good care of him!"

Ning Bai didn't move, just looked at him coolly, parted his thin lips slightly, and made a mocking voice, "I want to ask you, are you satisfied with the result?"

What do you mean?

Jiang Xuan met Ning Bai's eyes, and when he realized something, his face suddenly turned pale, he let go of his hand in dejection, and took a step back.

Yes, what qualifications does he have to blame Ning Bai? It was he who personally exposed Lu Xiaodong's identity, because he thought he could get this person, but in the end he killed him with his own hands. At that time, he never thought that the boy would really choose to go to a dead end...

This is his fault.

his fault.

At this time, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan also came.

Lu Maofeng seemed a little sad, he helped Feng Wan come over, and comforted in a low voice, "My condolences."

Ning Bai suddenly felt ironic.

He is your son. You have raised him for twenty years. Shouldn't someone tell you this "sorry and resignation"?

Lu Maofeng was very embarrassed to see that no one was paying attention to him, and then he saw Jiang Xuan, and immediately stepped forward to please him and said, "President Jiang, you are here too."

Jiang Xuan didn't speak, just looked at him coldly.

This sight made Lu Maofeng very uncomfortable, feeling like a light on his back, did he, did he offend Jiang Xuan?

Feng Wan pushed Lu Maofeng's hand away, she staggered over, looked at the tombstone in front of her, a smile appeared in the depths of her eyes, but it quickly disappeared, and then she seemed very sad and said to Ning Bai, " How could this happen? How could something happen to Xiaodong? He..."

Ning Bai looked at her indifferently, as if he didn't want to say much at all, he only uttered two words "accident."

Feng Wan looked at him with tears in his eyes and said, "Xiaobai, don't be too sad...otherwise, mom will worry about you. Mom already doesn't have a son, so I can't live without you anymore."

Ning Bai just stared at her, but the blood on his body gradually cooled down. All this made him feel so ridiculous...

He suddenly took a step forward, and whispered in Feng Wan's ear, "No, you don't have a son anymore."

Feng Wan listened to his cold and joking tone, her expression froze, and she said in a daze, "You, aren't you still there..."

Ning Bai seemed to be laughing, but there was no warmth in the laughter, only a bone-chilling chill, he said, "There is one thing, I never told you - it wasn't you who lost me back then, it was I who let go first I took your hand, it's me - I don't want you.

Your son, died twenty years ago. "

Feng Wan's pupils shrank suddenly, and she looked at him in disbelief, looking at the man's ruthless face in front of her, her lips trembling, "No, that's not the case, how could you not want your mother, it can't be like this..."

Ning Bai smiled softly, and looked at her deeply, "This is the truth, why do you refuse to recognize it?"

Feng Wan stared at him, and suddenly there was deep hatred in his eyes, and he shouted sharply, "How can you do this! Mom loves you so much, and mom has given everything for you, how can you do this to me! You devil, You are not my son! You are not my son! You are just a demon in his skin!"

A distorted smile appeared on Feng Wan's face, and she rushed out from here frantically. She laughed loudly as she ran, "I don't have a son, and all my sons are dead! They're all dead! I don't have a son, I don't have a son... "

Ning Bai looked at Feng Wan's leaving back, but his expression remained indifferent, as if looking at an unimportant person.

Lu Maofeng looked at this scene, his face turned pale with shock, his body was stiff, and he even looked at Ning Bai with some fear...

Feng Wan went crazy.

He felt that he might not come today, so he moved back quietly. The scene here made him very uneasy. Suddenly, his shoulder was pressed, and Jiang Xuan looked at him with dark and cold eyes, and the corner of his mouth twitched, "Let's talk." .”

Lu Maofeng "..."

It's quiet around me.

Ning Bai focused on the tombstone in front of him, stroked it lightly, and looked at the smiling face of the boy on it, as if all his good things were frozen in this moment.

Me, Jiang Xuan, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan.

Each of us is a murderer.

sorry.

As much as I've said about them, it's not them I hate the most...it's me.

Hate yourself for being powerless.

Hate yourself for being cowardly and incompetent.

Ning Bai closed his eyes, and what appeared in front of his eyes was the scene when the boy met him for the first time. He was wearing a bleak and curious makeup, but his smile was bright and bright. Those eyes were shining brightly, and he said to him with a smile: "Handsome, may I buy you a drink?"

Those once frivolous words have now become his extravagant hopes.

If I could go back to the past, I want to keep you by my side from that moment on, and love you with all my strength.

………………

three months later.

Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai who was concentrating on his work, and said worriedly, "Why don't you go out for a vacation and relax, and work is not in a hurry."

Ning Bai raised his eyes to look at him, and said lightly, "Don't you always say that I leave you alone and make trouble without reason?"

Xue Ze "..."

He wanted to say something, but in the end he just sighed, knowing today, it would be better not to be tempted.

Love really is a hurtful thing.

Xue Ze turned and left.

Ning Bai didn't work overtime today, he made an appointment with a psychologist.

Arrive at the clinic on time at 8pm.

The doctor looked at him and smiled, "Have you felt better recently?"

Ning Bai's voice was hoarse, "It's still the same."

"What's it like?" asked the doctor

Ning Bai's affection was a little dazed, he seemed to have thought of something, and slowly opened his mouth with empty eyes.

"There was a dark room with me and a child in it.

We're stuck there.

He called me brother and said brother, I was very scared.

It's dark here.

I said don't be afraid, I will take you out.

I knocked hard, but couldn't find the door.

I will pull him.

He suddenly stopped moving.

He said, brother, you can't save me.

You can't even save yourself.

It turns out that he has been there for a long, long time...

But I don't know.

I have no idea. "

When Ning Bai said this, he paused and said slowly, "Then he died."

The doctor asked softly, "Can't you still fall asleep?"

Ning Bai nodded.

The doctor asked him some more questions, talked to him some words of enlightenment, and finally said, "Let me prescribe you some medicine."

Ning Bai left from there.

The doctor sighed, he rarely saw such a patient, no matter how many times he came, he never got better, or maybe he didn't want to come out at all, or maybe... he just came to prescribe medicine?

………………

Ning Bai returned home.

The house was in a mess, just like when the boy was still there, he casually tore off his tie, threw his coat on the sofa, and put the slippers by his feet.

There is no need to tidy up too cleanly, so it seems that he is still the same.

Ning Bai lay on the bed, he took the medicine and closed his eyes.

Since that day, he has been able to fall asleep only with sleeping pills.

But as time went by, the effect of the medicine seemed to be getting worse and worse. Today, for some reason, even after taking more doses, he still couldn’t fall asleep. angry.

He opened his eyes suddenly, and struggled to reach for the medicine, but he didn't find it for a long time, but instead touched the diary.

He keeps this book next to his pillow.

This was the only thing the boy left him, but he never had the courage to open it again.

He is still so cowardly.

It's all like a nightmare, endless loop, no escape.

Never get out.

Ning Bai clutched the diary tightly, he let out a miserable smile, and finally opened it again. He felt like a walking corpse, gradually unable to distinguish between reality and illusion. Perhaps only pain could let him know that he was still real. alive, even if the bloody wound is opened again...

But he wants to feel the meaning of existence.

Familiar words and sentences appeared in front of his eyes, Ning Bai slowly looked at each page, as if using a knife to slowly cut on the skin and bones, but he suddenly enjoyed this feeling, because he Feeling close to the boy.

It's so close that it's within reach.

It's as close as being by his side.

From early morning to dawn, the faint morning light leaks in through the cracks in the curtains.

Ning Bai finally turned to the last page, and his movements suddenly stopped.

I don't know when the above sentence was added, I went to another world, don't worry about me.

Ning Bai's hands trembled slightly, gently stroking that sentence.

It turns out that you are such a fool...

You are actually afraid that I will worry about you...

You are so nice, but why...

Never know how to treat yourself better?

Ning Bai raised his hand to cover his eyes, for a long time, a drop of tears fell from between his fingers.

But you are so stupid, how can I,

Don't worry?