CH 105

Dilemma

At the beginning of the winter break, they were unlucky enough to have a series of bad weather conditions.

Just when they thought they were almost done shoveling snow, it would snow again and they would be back to square one. Such a barren cycle repeated itself over and over again, and Sheila was still shoveling snow all the time.

Still, perhaps because of her increased stamina, her days of just eating and sleeping began to change. With more time to spare, Sheila also began to receive instruction from Claushezade. It wasn’t a pleasant change, but it was a change.

Moreover, the snow had recently melted considerably thanks to the continuous fine weather. At this rate, the training hall would be clean by the end of the day.

“I’ll finally be able to take lessons from Claushezade-sensei. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a sword, so I’m really happy.”

She wondered how much stronger she had become now that she had devoted herself to building her physical strength. Sheila was having so much fun that she was even humming a tune as she shoveled the snow.

“…. I really don’t know how you stay so positive. We’re just shoveling snow, you know? I’m sure you’ve become rusty.”

Zechs, who had been speaking less and less recently, spoke up. That made Sheila happy, and she replied with a laugh.

“I’m sure my skills are a little rusty, but I’ll get my instincts back in no time. Thinking that you can do unprecedented movements with this well-trained body, don’t you want to try it soon?”

The expected agreement didn’t come. What came back was a sarcastic smile and a cracked voice.

“You trust Claushezade-sensei so much, don’t you? Well, I don’t. Even this snow shoveling seems to me like he’s just taking the easy way because it’s a hassle to take care of us.”

Cody sensed the turbulent atmosphere and stopped shoveling the snow.

The training hall fell silent in an instant. Dark malice dyed the pure white snow and seemed to repaint the air.

“…. It’s good training, you know, shoveling snow. And I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to be patient or endure something.”

Sheila stared straight at Zechs with her dignified yellow-colored eyes.

“If this is also a hardship to become a knight, I don’t think it’s hard. I don’t think I have to put up with anything, in fact, I’m having a lot of fun when I think that I’m one step closer to my dream.”

“…..”

Zechs’ expression twisted as Sheila tried to make her point with a smile on her face. His eyes, tired and stagnant, widened as if he was hurt.

Was it anger or pain that crossed his hazel eyes? His eyes, glinting with intense emotion, were as ferocious as a wounded beast’s.

Zechs raised the shovel in his hand.

Cody let out a flustered voice, but Sheila just watched calmly.

The tip of the shovel trembled with the fury transmitted from his swinging arm. Zechs squeezed his eyes shut.

“――Damn it!”

The shovel swung down on the dirty snow.

A grunt escaped from Zechs’ clenched mouth.

“Even if you continue to lead such an unreasonable life, you probably have nothing to complain about. I bet you don’t worry about what happens if you don’t become a knight in the future, do you?”

Sheila thought for a moment and replied honestly and openly.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve never thought about it.”

“――Hahaha, you never think about it! You really surpassed my expectations!”

Because Zechs covered his eyes with the palm of his hand, Sheila couldn’t see his expression.

But there was definitely a mockery in his dry laughter. It wasn’t directed at Sheila, but perhaps because he looked down on himself.

“Even now, I’m thinking about things like that. Even if I get serious, it might all go to waste. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be better to get acquainted with the nobles or to learn the trade business at home? I wondered if I could go home now with the right to sell herbal tea as a present. ――As you can see, I can’t move forward without looking aside. I’m always looking for a way out.”

Zechs removed the hand that hid his face.

He turned a weak gaze toward Sheila, as if he was desperate for the light that illuminates the darkness.

“A person who really achieves their dreams is probably someone like you. They pursue their dreams single-mindedly and don’t question what’s going to happen next. When I’m with you, all I see is my own faults, and I hate it.”

Sheila slowly approached Zechs, who turned his face away as if to spit the last part out.

‘This is what Zechs is really thinking.’

It was nice to hear him sound so vulnerable.

Sheila was aware that something must be bothering him, but Zechs didn’t confide in her, or even Cody. Although the strength to endure in silence was a virtue, Zechs was probably feeling anxious inside. If he had told her, she might have been able to help him.

‘But, while it was nice to hear that….’

Alas, Sheila didn’t quite understand his troubles.

Everyone had their own way of thinking. There wasn’t a comparison of who was right or wrong.

She felt frustrated and sorry for her lack of understanding.

“Um…. I think it’s important to think like Zechs, you know? Because it’s necessary to secure a way out during battle, isn’t it?”

When Sheila thought about it and put it into words, Zechs was dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open. Did she miss the point?

Sheila scratched her head in embarrassment, but continued to talk nonetheless.

“Um, erm, because Zechs isn’t running away, is he? Because, you know, you’re actually not running away from anything.”

“….”

Despite his frustration, he never threw the snow shovel away. That was his strength.

“And you know better than I do that I’m full of flaws, don’t you? I’ve recently discovered some new shortcomings myself, and I’m still pretty down about it.”

“…. Your, shortcomings?”

Sheila nodded.

“I seem to get upset easily. Maybe it’s because I’ve been living a monotonous life deep in the mountains, but I can’t control my emotional swings. I never thought I’d be so uptight.”

When Sheila was almost kidnapped during training, she cried because she was overthinking things too much, and most recently, she was more confused than necessary when Seiryuu and Axe graduated.

Life in the closed, uneventful village of Denan was all too peaceful.

Sheila was often described as indifferent, but perhaps it was simply that her mind couldn’t keep up with the fast-paced changes.

As Sheila was groaning and working on her self-analysis, Zechs suddenly burst out laughing.

Both Sheila and Cody froze in surprise, but he didn’t stop laughing.

When his laughter subsided, Zechs wiped away his tears and muttered to himself.

“…. Yes, that’s right. Maybe if I hang on to you hard enough, my dreams will come true before I know it.”

When Zechs finally raised his head, his face was the calmest she had seen in a while.

“I’ve been too much of a dreamer to talk about it before.”

Zechs put his hand on Sheila’s shoulder. In two weeks, he felt much stronger than before.

Their gazes crossed firmly.

“――Let’s be knights, together.”

When a delighted Sheila was about to nod, a disgruntled voice came up.

“Hey, are you going to leave me alone? It’s also difficult for a powerless noble to become a knight, so I’m in the same position as you.”

Before Sheila realized it, Cody had closed the distance to her side. Zechs was startled and jumped to his feet.

“Wha, you were there!?”

“I was there from the beginning. You two are the ones living in your own world.”

“D-Don’t say it like that!”

Cody gave his friend, who was turning red in the face, a scathing look.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, why are you blushing like that? Are you guilty?”

“I’m ashamed of you, Zechs.”

“Shut up!”

Zechs, whose sense of shame had reached its peak, howled at Sheila.

Cheerful laughter filled the training hall.

There would be many difficulties ahead.

There would be days when you repeated the same failures and setbacks and wanted to throw away your dreams. This was true not only for Zechs, but also for Sheila and Cody.

Still, she was sure.

If only they had friends to laugh with. Friends who would push your back.

Sheila believed that the drive to not be left behind would be the driving force. She believed that they could stand up again and again.

“Zechs, let’s become knights. All of us.”

Sheila’s words brought a bright smile to Zechs’ face. It was an expression as refreshing as the sky right now.

“――Yeah!”

She would always remember the promise they made that day.

Sheila took this passion to heart.