Volume 4, Chapter 9: In This Life, We Both Are Doing Swell, Part Two

Volume 4, Chapter 9: In This Life, We Both Are Doing Swell, Part Two

Translated by Michimochi (proofread by EvlNabiki & Trespasserby; C/E edited by lucathia)

I couldn’t return the body. Even if I could, I couldn’t bear to leave Dàgē and Xiǎomèi. So I could only make up for it in a different way. I could marry her, protecting the Ice Emperor’s little brother, and naturally take Mom in as my mother-in-law. Then I could call her “Mom.” This was the best solution I could come up with.

Guan Weijun was stunned. Junjun as well. Both of their eyes were wide open, as if they had suddenly seen me go crazy. Well, I admit that this sudden marriage proposal was a bit crazy. But hey, yesterday, Guan Weijun had only taken one look and had wanted to marry Dàgē. I, at least, had been looking at her for several days already. There isn’t a need for this level of surprise, right?

Guan Weijun rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and huffed, “I’m not interested in little boys. Scram, let your big brother come!”

I was in an awkward position. Dàgē did say he could marry her, but that was absolutely not okay. This was my own problem. I couldn’t just let Dàgē sacrifice himself and marry a woman he didn’t even like!

As for Dàgē ever becoming fond of Guan Weijun, chances were… and this was not me putting myself down or anything, but in my last life, I really wasn’t some great beauty. This Guan Weijun in front of me was even worse at prettying herself up than me, and would barely pass for an athletic cutie. Compared to that deceased, gorgeous assassin who had knocked on our door, they were fundamentally two different species.

“What’s with that look on your face! I think your big brother is a bit interested in me!”

I looked at Guan Weijun skeptically.

Guan Weijun huffed coldly, “Not convinced? Go back and ask your brother. You, on the other hand, are not even the least bit interested in me, yet you dared to open your mouth to propose. If it wasn’t for you being my future little brother-in-law, I’d have beaten you up until you’re stuck on the wall!”

I helplessly said, “My big brother only saw you once. How can he be interested in you? He might not even remember your hair color.”

Glaucous green hair had come into fashion for a time, but that was my natural hair color in my last life. It wasn’t dyed, and I wasn’t sure which generation had brought in the genes of this kind of hair color. Even Mom didn’t know.

“So what if he doesn’t remember my hair color?” Guan Weijun confidently said, “My legs definitely left an impression. He peeped at least twice!”

In my last life, I had indeed had a pair of long legs, but they weren’t all that special…

I dipped my head and stared at her legs. They were sturdy and slender. Her thighs were tightly closed, and the calves had a nice silhouette. These were definitely legs that had gone through intense training. If I remembered correctly, that deceased glamorous assassin seemed to have had a pair of strong athletic legs as well. Don’t tell me, Dàgē is into these kinds of legs?

In my previous life, I had only developed such legs after the apocalypse happened. Madly fleeing for one’s life was something everyone knew how to do.

“If he’s as uninterested in me as you are, then I wouldn’t be targeting him!” Guan Weijun huffed, “Did you think I was that shameless?”

No matter how I look at it, you are that shameless! I held my forehead, and had no choice but to say, “Fine. Go chase after my big brother. If you catch his eyes, be my sister-in-law. If you can’t, then I’ll marry you.”

Guan Weijun put on a disgusted expression, as if to say “who wants to marry you” and replied, “If I were to marry you, why not force Zhang Jing to marry me instead? At the very least, he’s taller and more obedient, and can maybe put on some muscles at least. You’re not my type at all. You’re fine as eye candy, but being my husband is a no go. You look prettier than me and have no masculinity to speak of. You look like you can’t even put on any muscles and have no potential in development.”

Have you ever heard of not kicking someone while they’re down? I ate, drank and trained with my life on the line, yet I couldn’t get shredded. I was already sad enough, and yet you went ahead and kicked me where it hurts. Do you even want to be my sister-in-law?

“My èrgē is a really good person!” Junjun protested.

Guan Weijun chuckled. “Of course, he’s a good person. I’m the one who’s unworthy of him. He deserves better.”

Despite having a face like this in this lifetime, who knew that I’d still have the chance to hear such a classic rejection line…

Junjun blinked. She seemed to feel that those words made sense, yet they were also not quite right. She didn’t know how to respond.

I looked at Guan Weijun. I didn’t even know what to do with her anymore. I originally thought this was the best solution, but the other party didn’t want to marry me. However, would Dàgē really take an interest in her? Even if he did, could he stay faithful to her? Monogamy was not popular in the apocalypse. If Dàgē ever cheats on her…

“Why do you always look at me as if you’re at a loss?” Guan Weijun asked in puzzlement, “Have I ever met you before?”

I took a deep breath and said, “Just consider me crazy, okay? Guan Weijun, have you been well in this life?”

She looked at me, baffled. Yet seeing my serious expression, her expression gradually returned to normal.

“I’ve always been well. Even with the apocalypse, I’m doing as swell as ever. I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but with my personality, I’d be fine wherever I go. Life is so short. If it’s a choice between being gloomy or happy for a lifetime, then of course, I’d rather live happily for the rest of my life!”

But in the last life, you had Jiang Shuyu’s body and identity… but got hit on the head right before the apocalypse and never woke again.

I suddenly realized something. When the Ice Emperor returned home, he hadn’t been able to find anyone from his family. All of his family had been gone, yet in this life, I called Dàgē to come back home from the very beginning. Even though he lost the Ice Emperor’s power, he obtained a different power. And most importantly, everyone was alive and well.

On the other hand, Guan Weijun’s mother was still alive. There was no Xia Zhengu. They could even join our group. No matter what, this life was better than the last.

You’re doing well. I’m doing well. With our lives swapped, we’re both doing swell.

I smiled, relieved.

“Yeah, let’s both live happily for the rest of our lives!”

Guan Weijun grinned and ruffled my hair. She said in approval, “That’s the smile I was looking for. You’re young and beautiful. Don’t look so gloomy. Smile more. It’s a feast for the eyes for everyone.”

Did you forget that this is the apocalypse?

But I think she’s got a good point. What am I supposed to say to that?

Guan Weijun turned her head and told Junjun, “Xiǎomèi, even your èrgē has accepted me.”

Wait a minute, I accepted what?

“Can Dàsǎo ask you a question? That big brother of yours, what exactly is his name?”

My word. You don’t even know his name, yet you keep calling yourself Dàsǎo, my sister-in-law, and wanting to marry Dàgē. This… your taste of men is not bad. At least, so much better than mine.

“Jiang Shutian,” Junjun obediently replied.

Guan Weijun deductively said, “Your èrgē is Shuyu. Then, you must be Shujun, right? I keep hearing them call you Junjun.”

Junjun nodded.

Guan Weijun started speaking with great familiarity, “Junjun is such a beautiful girl. Don’t worry. In the future, Dàsǎo will help you filter through partners. Rotten guys shouldn’t even think about getting close. I’m not all talk. Your dàsǎo’s eye for people is superb. In the past, a few besties asked me to take a look at their boyfriends. Either they got rid of rotten men or they got married to good husbands!”

You have besties with that kind of personality? Are you sure they’re girls?

After hearing this, Junjun looked at me with sympathy. She clarified without giving up, “My èrgē is a good person. He’s not a rotten man. It’s the truth!”

Junjun, you don’t say. You think I need a reminder of the rejection from just few minutes ago?

“Of course, he is not rotten. He’s just a bit delicate, a bit beautiful, and a bit weak. He doesn’t meet my requirements of husband material. The girls… or uh, men, who like this flowery type of boy are pretty numerous. Wasn’t it that Chensha who was all smitten on him? Haha, let’s not say anything about today’s proposal, okay? If that icy cold Chensha were to hear about this, it’s not like I can beat him.”

I immediately clarified, “We were just pretending to be a couple. It’s easier to stay closer to talk that way. We’re not lovers.”

Guan Weijun stared blankly for a moment, then nodded her head.

Junjun curiously asked, “Then, what are the requirements to be Weijun-jiě’s husband?”

Already on to the “-jiě” suffix, huh! I knew it. Considering Guan Weijun’s personality, it’s really hard to hate her. Junjun was already accustomed to Dàgē’s lack of principles, too. She really didn’t have much objection to Guan Weijun’s brash claim of becoming her dàsǎo. I mean she couldn’t be any worse than that dead temptress.

Guan Weijun’s eyes lit up. She exclaimed, “Of course, he has to have unparalleled strength, a first-class physique, a gaze that can make people freeze, and domineering might. Now that’s a real man!”

Junjun nodded her head vigorously. “Then, my dàgē really matches every requirement. He really is super strong.”

“I could tell from a glance. Your brother doesn’t have an ordinary occupation, right?”

“He’s the boss of the mercenary troop.”

“Ho ho. That kind of super cool job fits him so perfectly! Mèimei, you gotta help me chase your big brother. I’m begging you! In the future, I’ll definitely treat you very, very well.”

“And treat my èrgē well, too, okay?”

“Of course!”

“Then, I’ll help you!”

I was powerless. I was shot down when I proposed for the first time ever, and it was even with a machine gun. Now, even my little sister had betrayed me so quickly, selling Dàgē in the blink of an eye. What happened to the girls of the apocalyptic age? My manly heart has become so tired. I want to go home and play with Xiaorong.

“Shuyu!” Guan Weijun suddenly called my name.

I turned to look over and saw both girls looking at me with a face full of surprise.

“Your left sleeve is glowing. Are you all right?”

Bewildered, I immediately raised my hand and pulled up the sleeve to look at my wrist. The ice pattern was glowing faintly. The silvery blue patterns were crystal clear. The color wasn’t the least bit faded compared to its original color.

Trying to suppress the excitement in my heart, I summoned the dagger once again. My left hand held the ice dagger in the very next moment. It was even thicker than that ice dagger I had formed right before we entered Lan City, and its shape was more complete now. It glistened faintly with its original splendor.

The ice dagger in my hand emitted a powerful chill, yet it wasn’t freezing to the touch anymore. Instead, my arm felt warm. Although I couldn’t see the other areas that were covered by my jacket, I could feel that the rest of the ice pattern should have returned to its original silvery blue color, too, no longer faded to the point of nearly vanishing.

“Wow, this blade is so beautiful,” Guan Weijun praised.

I was better off doing some explaining. “I can summon a dagger.”

Guan Weijun stared at the dagger and smiled. “See, I was telling Tai Wen. To enter Lan City at a time like this, and to even dare to split up and rescue people, you couldn’t be some useless guy no matter how you looked at it. Yet, he said that with your appearance, you definitely must have been dearly protected ever since you were small. It wouldn’t have been strange for you to be a good-for-nothing wimp. Chensha is super strong anyway. He would be able to protect you.”

“My èrgē—“ Junjun stopped mid-sentence, recalling that I was hiding my strength. She blushed and corrected, “took care of our family since he was a kid. He’s great at housework and even taught me how to make dolls and bake cakes. He also took me to eat apple pie at a Snow White themed restaurant. He’s not a good-for-nothing!”

The gaze Guan Weijun shot at me clearly expressed, “You’re really not my type.”

My heart is so tired. I should just go home and play with Xiaorong.

I turned to climb down the stairs. Tai Wen and Zhang Jing were sitting in the living room with heavy faces. When they saw me, they immediately stood up and kept their gazes on me. They didn’t speak a single word, but since they didn’t see Guan Weijun, they didn’t have any intention of letting me go either.

Even if I didn’t take into account Guan Weijun’s identity, she really was talented. A woman able to have such authority really couldn’t be underestimated. If Dàgē really ended up liking her, I must help her control Dàgē and his principles. This time, there would be no failure in his education!

I jerked my thumb backward, and soon we could hear footsteps and chattering between the two women. Tai Wen and Zhang Jing loosened up then.

I shouted at the stairs, “Junjun, I’m heading out first. Do you want to go back as well?”

Junjun shouted back, “èrgē, go back first. I want to talk with Weijun-jiě about what Dàgē likes.”

“…Sure.”

I answered helplessly. I received sympathetic expressions from Tai Wen and Zhang Jing. There was a sense of camaraderie between us.

“Has she always been like this?”

Tai Wen pushed up his glasses and said, “Always. My wife has been her bestie since middle school.”

Gee, so you’re that man who has been verified as a “good husband”? I looked at the sweet, round-faced girl on the sofa. So that’s Guan Weijun’s bestie? The gap between their personalities was so huge. Saying she’s taking care of a pet would have been more accurate—Wait, did I just figure out the truth?

Shit. No wonder Guan Weijun immediately roped in my little sister. This was basically the result of raising a bestie for so many years!

“I’m going first then. You guys…” I took a deep breath, and decided, “can relax and stay. Later, people will come and make arrangements with you. But you have to remember, staying means working. Nothing is free in this world.”

Tai Wen immediately followed that up with a question. “What exactly are our main jobs?”

“At this moment, it should just be constructing the base and training. Those who are able to fight will enter Lan City in search for supplies.”

After hearing this, the two of them relaxed.

“Then, that won’t be a problem,” Tai Wen solemnly replied. “Many thanks. I know we’re the ones freeloading. Even if there is no way to repay you in the short term, at least we won’t drag you down. We definitely won’t loaf around in constructing the base.”

I nodded. That was actually a good thing. The base’s blueprints that Dàgē had pulled out last time were ambitious. If we only relied on the mercenaries to build the Jiang territory, it would be a pipe dream. Plus, this was only a temporary base, not our final destination. It wasn’t like we would keep expanding it for five or ten years. It was not worth spending more than a year of construction on it. We’d be better off hunting for crystals instead!

Suddenly, the door was kicked open, startling everyone. Zhang Jing even jumped backwards.

I calmly looked at the person rushing over from the door. Ceng Yunqian panted and shouted, “Shuyu! Come quickly.”

“Shujun, come downstairs. We’re leaving.” I called out, not even looking backward. I could hear footsteps rushing down the stairs. I immediately followed after Ceng Yunqian.

Tai Wen called out anxiously, “Wait. What happened?”

“Wait here.” Ceng Yunqian barked, “This is an order!”

Tai Wen stiffened. Junjun and Guan Weijun arrived. The latter asked, “Can I come along?”

Ceng Yunqian turned to look at me. Guan Weijun and the three others were taken aback and looked at me as well. They looked a bit bewildered.

“Wait here.” I left with this sentence.

It seemed hiding my powers would be too hard to do with people in our inner circle. Afterwards, I’d have to have a talk with Guan Weijun and her left and right hand men. They didn’t need to know the depths of my strength, but they should at least know that I didn’t need to be protected. That part didn’t have to be kept from them.

Ceng Yunqian immediately led the way. As soon as we left the house, I asked, “What happened?”

“There’s a large number of people advancing toward this town.”

I frowned and asked, “Are they passing through?”

Ceng Yunqian shook her head.

“They’re charging straight for us!”