CH 192

“Because you’re the star of the show today, princess!”

“Then, why am I not happy?”

Ashley had once thought there might be a reason as to why she was reincarnated into this world. Just like the countless stories she had read before, perhaps she was to be the hero who would save  the world or fall in love with a really handsome man and eventually live happily ever after for a long time. 

However, she was not the main character. 

That was something she realised only after she reincarnated into this world and, of course, after she realised that this was the world inside a novel. 

‘This was the world inside that novel.’

She was an extra. A princess who didn’t appear and was never mentioned in the original novel. Anyone who read the novel would know that. 

Before reincarnating into this world, she had been a very ordinary person. She had an ordinary job and an ordinary family. She would watch movies and eat out with her friends. She would feel the happiest after going shopping or dealing with customer complaints well. 

That was why she could never get used to this.

“You must be nervous.”

“Yes…”

Her heart could not stop thumping at the thought of performing in front of hundreds and thousands of people. 

5 maids worked together to help the girl wear her robes. Her robes, which had been made under the hands of outstanding tailors, was a traditional Imperial dress that fell to her ankle but did not reach the floor. The silky dress exposed much of her chest and had another thin silver layer of cloth sewn atop of it. Perhaps to capture the holiness of the First Emperor, her robes were not as glamorous as they were plain. 

The fabric that exposed her shoulders was fixed with fibulae (buttons) before flowing down her body, reminding her of the Greek Gods and Goddesses she recalled seeing in her previous life. Half of her long hair had been tied up with a traditional hair accessory. When she looked into the mirror, she noticed her curly hair elegantly cascading down her back. 

After she wore the crown–the one with two snakes coiled around it and embellished with thorny vines that symbolised the First Emperor–and an overskirt to make her dance look flashier, her reflection in the mirror looked completely different. 

No matter which world she was in, clothes were like wings. Though, in her opinion, make-up was the most effective. Perhaps the maids had been paying special attention to her child-like appearance but she now looked more mature than she usually did. If she looked closely, there was a little awkwardness in her appearance that made her look as if she was only cosplaying as an adult but she did look mature. She preferred looking like this. She was tired of being treated like a child. 

“You’ve worked very hard. All of you.”

Ashley commented after looking at her dolled-up self. After the princess had kindly acknowledged their hard work, the maids looked moved. Haina, her most emotional maid, had even teared up. 

Ashley could only be flustered at the festive atmosphere when the real festival had yet to begin. As she held Haina to comfort her and said goodbye to the rest of her maids, time flew by. Saying goodbye to the last maid, she suddenly recalled Hannah. What would it have been like if Hannah was here? Ashley muttered Hannah’s name. Perhaps she would be weeping for her like Haina. 

For Ashley’s sake, Hannah was still staying by the desert princess’ side. 

Throb.

Her heart ached. Why? It didn’t feel like mere disappointment because Hannah wasn’t here. It was an emotion that cut into her heart even deeper than disappointment. When she recalled her loyal maid, she should be feeling proud of her and apologetic but recently, it felt as if the edges of her heart was being dyed in unfamiliar emotions. She was feeling anxious and terrified. 

“These days, you’ve been smiling a lot, princess.”

It was Lena. 

Ashley was brought back to reality and replied, “Really?”.

It wasn’t only Lena. The rest of her maids were also spouting the same things Fleon said. They clearly had good intentions, But why was her heart acting like this? 

“Because you can smile now.”

Why did Amor say that to her? Ashley bit her lips. This was not the time to be having such trivial thoughts.

With the help of her maids, she managed to take a small step forward. A long slit had been made in her skirt to give her space to dance. It looked a lot like a cheongsam or a traditional Chinese dress. However, the dress reminded her of a Grecian goddess. The cloth that brushed against her thighs was very soft. It felt as if she wasn’t wearing anything. 

“Where’s Rebecca?”

Lena then nodded before replying. 

“She’s waiting for you outside.”

“And she’s not coming in.”

Thinking it was strange, Ashley questioned Lena. Lena then explained that she was refusing the visitors who came to see Ashley on her behalf. It was customary for the princess’ first meeting of the day to be with her patronus. Nevertheless, there must have been rude visitors.

“Rebecca.”

Rebecca raised her head. Just like her hair that fluttered as she turned her head, she greeted Ashley elegantly. 

“You’ve arrived.”

She was draped in a gorgeous traditional dress. The pale white chiton revealed her delicate collarbones. 

“The carriage has already been prepared for you. I’ll explain your schedule on the way.”

Like a secretary she had been working with for a long time now, Rebecca escorted Ashley with much skill. Some of Ashley’s maids blushed at Rebecca’s expertise. Despite Rebecca’s arrogant and cold appearance, her elegant red-haired lady-in-waiting was being envied by the rest of her maids without her knowledge. 

“Rebecca, you look pretty today.’

“… I see.”

Other than the occasional sound of the wheels turning, the carriage was silent. And Ashley was the one who sliced through the silence. With her head slightly raised, Ashley smiled. 

“Yup, you’ve always been this pretty.”

After a moment of silence, Rebecca replied.

“Are you not nervous?”

At her question, Ashley smiled once again. Though it was now a weak smile. When she shifted her gaze, she spotted the Imperial Palace getting further away.

“How could I not be?”

With the window slightly ajar, wind freely blew into the carriage which shook her lady-in-waiting’s red hair. Ashley was reminded of something that happened not too long ago. 

***

One evening, Rebecca had returned from her tour of the stage in the capital with her escorts, the templars sent by her father. Rebecca looked as elegant and perfect as always but there was dirt at the ends of her sleeves and at the tips of her hair. When Ashley approached her in worry, the lady-in-waiting had reassured her with a chic expression that it had just been fatigue. 

“I had been worried since I heard the stage had been thousands of years old but there seemed to be no problem with operations on the ‘stage’. I was late because there was a light disagreement with the Templars of Vulcanus on the installation.”

“… You didn’t have to go deal with it yourself, did you, Rebecca?”

Rebecca removed her shawl and stared at her mistress. The dusk moon hanging in the evening sky over her mistress’ shoulders looked blue. As she gazed upon her blonde hair that was as yellow as a wheat field, her sweet gaze, her curved lips and her innocent eyes, Rebecca raised the corners of her lips proudly. 

“Princess.”

Her lady-in-waiting did not find it difficult to decipher what her mistress was feeling. Having good judgement was a dealbreaker in a lady’s world. She wouldn’t be any good as a lady-in-waiting if she couldn’t tell. 

“Were you worried?”

Her eyes that were as black as obsidian had a bright glint in her eyes. With a smirk, Rebecca bowed as if she understood everything from a glance at her mistress’ face. 

“What are you worrying about?”

The different coloured eyes were locked onto each other in silence. 

“Were you worried because the bell outside had already rung? Were you worried because you haven’t heard from me for a while? Either way… I am only pleased that you were worried for me, mistress.”

As if she had just removed a ribbon that had been choking her neck, the lady-in-waiting smiled. Her mistress must have felt the need to communicate with her maids. Her mistress’ expression which contorted for a moment helped Rebecca wager a guess.

“I’ve heard about how the invitation you suddenly wrote to your patronus and the fact that he actually accepted had shocked all the nobles.”

In a society where rumours, facts and lies would mix together and become as natural as air, everyone was paying attention to her not because she was the princess but because she became the Crown Prince’s patronus. And the Dame of Aventa had initially been appointed as the Crown Prince’s patronus. 

They had been neglecting that truth for too long. Everyone had agreed that no one suited the Crown Prince more than Rebecca. For the most noble man following the emperor, the Crown Prince’s patronus had to be a noble woman who was perfect, dignified and had the right status. And that woman was none other than the Dame of Aventa, Rebecca Eileen. 

“Your patronus is none other than His Highness, the Crown Prince. Everyone seemed to be thinking that it would be natural for me to feel offended and kept asking me questions. Isn’t it funny? I find it funny. People who don’t even know us personally keep talking about us.”

Rebecca snickered before curling her eyes. Her eyes that were as cold as frozen branches curled elegantly before her relaxed face revealed an enchantingly graceful smile. 

“If you don’t tell me, then I won’t ask.”

However, Rebecca chose to ignore all the rumours and decided to remain silent instead of questioning her mistress. This was her way of showing her mistress respect. 

“Even though you’re curious?”

“Even though I’m curious.”

She smiled after she repeated her mistress’ words back at her. 

“This is how I’m choosing to follow you.”

Rebecca was someone who always reminded her mistress that she was the servant. She was someone that her mistress owned and someone she could use. And her mistress knew how to wield her well. Still, she never tried to.

“Please remember, princess. It had not been an easy decision to follow you.”

“…..”

“I had given up on the benefits I could have brought to my family for you.”

Rebecca knew full well what benefits her family would receive if she were to be the Crown Prince’s patronus but she had given it up for her mistress. She might have been thinking too far ahead but she could have become a queen or even the empress. She might have missed the opportunity to reach the highest pedestal a female aristocrat could ever dream of. But Rebecca was not disappointed at the fact that she couldn’t know why.

And the person who made her like that was her mistress.

“… Yeah, alright. Even my brother, Fleon, said you were overdoing it. Is there anything you want from me?’

“That’s a silly deal to make, mistress. Do you even know what I want?”

“Anything is fine.”

Just as usual, the girl flashed her lady-in-waiting a bright smile on her pale face. However, her smile did not make Rebecca feel anymore comfortable. 

“Anything for you, Rebecca.”

Right after she said that, the apology she had been wanting to say lingered in her chest, rose up to her neck and coiled around her tongue but, regretfully, she could only remain silent. She knew that apologising to her lady-in-waiting would only insult her proud lady-in-waiting. 

If Ashley had explained that it was so that she could save her, to Rebecca, it wouldn’t have been a good enough reason to take away the benefits that would have been bestowed upon her family. 

“Anything.” Mimicking what her mistress said, Rebecca muttered under her breath. 

“That’s a sweet thing to say.”

Soon, her lips that were as red as a rose, curved upwards gracefully. Her mistress’ innocent purple eyes could be seen in her obsidian orbs. 

“But I know that the weight of words can sometimes be even lighter than a piece of paper.”

Countless casualties had occurred in the <Light of Rusbella>, though Ashley knew who they were, at the same time, she didn’t. No, before reincarnating, she had never imagined that she would end up becoming a character in a novel and she had never once seriously considered the fact that the people around her would one day die. 

Death. The soul-shattering memories of the deaths that turned her life upside down might have disappeared but she had not lost everything. Rather, in the place of the memories she had lost, memories of when she was jovial and happy, of when she was loved and when she had loved others like high tide rushing into shore and she was reminded of all the relationships she had developed. 

“If so, promise me. On that stage.”

She lost a lot of things during the 40 times she died and came back to life. For example, if she still had her memories, to her, it would have seemed like her lady-in-waiting was grabbing her chair handle because she was threatening her as she had been so broken and hopeless. But there was something that only loss could bring. 

“You’ll be the one who shines the brightest.”

Wearing such a dazzling dress, her lady-in-waiting tilted her head and looked so lovely that the princess widened her eyes like a startled squirrel at her enchanting smile. 

It was only natural for Ashley to be captivated by the smile her lady-in-waiting rarely showed.

She hadn’t known that loving and being loved would make someone look so pretty and lovely. 

She wondered when she realised it. Or perhaps she knew it from the start. That the woman she saw before her was nothing like the villainess depicted in the original novel. 

After losing the terrible nightmares that had engulfed her life, it was natural for her to have an emptiness to fill. And the warmth that took its place stimulated the emotions the girl had forgotten melted the heart which had hardened and cracked. The moment her proud and beautiful lady-in-waiting flashed her the brightest smile she had ever seen from her, the spring-like path which she had forgotten existed had opened up for her. 

‘What’s making you smile now, Rebecca?’

The girl had no choice but to mirror her expression and smile widely.

“… I understand, Rebecca.”

Regardless of whether she lost her memories or not, the girl was still weak and useless on her own. 

“For the sake of your wish, I’ll be working hard.”

She would have to show her best on the stage. 

T/N:

daily updates for 2 more days to make up for dis wk!