CH 238

It felt like I was standing in the middle of swaying reeds. As I retreated backwards from his soft hands, Dane took a step forward as well. 

“I have nothing, Ashley.”

“Because you’ve left the shadows?”

“Yes.”

Dane smiled sweetly. 

“I hold nothing in this hand. And that’s why I can do anything.”

He whispered as his eyes looked as red as camellia flowers against snow. Our surroundings were so still I could hear the brush of leaves. And his voice that was as soft as a cloth. 

“Ever since you were Ahn. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Perhaps my heart has never let you go for a moment since as you took your place in my heart.”

Raising my head, I stared back at him. His feelings for me had begun in a past I had no memories of. Would the Ahn he met during that time be the same person I was now? 

“Dane. People think both of us are siblings.”

“That’s alright. The night accepts all secrets and I can become the night that embraces you.”

He would hear me out on all my frustrations. I shook my head. 

“To the you who hates the day, I will be by your side forever as your night. I’ll take you to a place where no one would ever laugh at you so that you can be happy.”

He was planning on trapping me in his shadows to bring me night even under the midday sun. I couldn’t say anything. His hand gently stroked my cheek. 

“Just one thing. You just need to say one thing. Ashley… If you want to leave this place, I can help.”

But I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut.

“Ah.”

It was a temptingly sweet offer. He had the determination to do whatever I asked him to. But I could only feel sorry for the Dane who poured out his feelings almost painfully. It was almost like I had downed a bite of chocolate at once. It was sweet, extremely sweet but its sweetness made the bitter aftertaste even more pronounced. The chillingly cruel reality seeped through the cracks of this still night. 

If I said I wanted revenge, though he could manage to bring Castor in front of me, he would probably end up completely bloodied as a result. If I asked him to make this palace mine for eternity? Dane would find a way to pay the emperor in exchange for the palace. To let me run away, he was willing to sacrifice everything he had. 

“Dane.”

I had no idea whether I deserved to receive this much love. I didn’t want anyone’s sacrifice nor did I want anything in return. I knew how difficult the times had been for me. But I didn’t want to abandon all my efforts and avoid everything. I didn’t want to run away. I just found everything to be a shame. 

I didn’t want him to end up like me. I meant it. I had been miserable and acted inappropriately as I was tortured by my painful experiences. But he had many paths he could take to his happiness. But to trap him next to me because he told me he loved me was disrespectful to him. 

“You don’t have to answer to it now. “

Dane released my cheek before taking my hand and bringing it up to his own cheek. His breaths tickled my hand which was clad in his iron grip as his lips brushed my fingertips and palm. 

“I’m here.”

He brought my hand to his chest before pressing it down. I could feel the rhythmic thumps of his heart through my fingertips.

“I know how you have a habit of taking a step back whenever you’re confused. So, I’ll be waiting.”

He continued after a long pause. His breath brushed against the tip of my nose.

“Fall for me, Ashley.”

At this close distance, he smiled ecstatically. 

“I’ll only bring you happiness.”

***

“The 2nd Prince has sent a message to relay his apologies for being unable to make it for the meeting.”

There seemed to be some supernatural power preventing the both of us from meeting. It would always be because he was busy or because I was away. I failed to meet Julian again today. Would we never get to meet? That would be troubling. 

“Well, if we’re talking about the 2nd Prince…”

Julian was now in the worst possible situation he could find himself in. The Crown Prince had taken over the emperor’s duties as he was officially announced to be ill. Furthermore, the Crown Prince was as healthy as ever and he was a powerful successor. In response, in the <Light of Rusbella>, Julian had chosen to isolate Castor. 

“Julian must have been busy too. No, he should be the busiest man in the palace now.” 

No matter how powerful Castor was, he was still the Mad Crown Prince who killed people without distinction. Julian enamoured people one by one to grow his popularity and now, most of the High Templars supported him. Though that didn’t mean those who were not supporting Julian were on Castor’s side. They were just templars who disapproved of Julian as he was a ‘non-templar’. But even they were a minority. 

How much time did I have left till the original novel starts? 

The countdown to Rusbella’s appearance. For now, Julian might be in the middle of preparing for his coup or perhaps he was already ready. How could I help him from here? I’d have to meet him at last once to build trust with him. 

In the <Light of Rusbella>, his coup had turned into a disastrous failure. By the time Rusbella reached the Empire, Julian’s coup had failed and he had been confined to the northern tower. He later met Rusbella who was also detained there, sympathised with her and helped her escape. All of Julians’ supporters and his wife whom he loved dearly had been executed for treason leaving him to survive alone. 

Why hadn’t Castor just killed Julian?

I had never thought much about that plot point but I was now strangely lingering on it. Castor had executed all who were involved in the coup. Rusbella had even told Julian how there was not a day where the blade of the guillotine was dry. It was terrible. Julian had been the only one who survived the coup. 

“I wonder why…”

The Empire was now much like a handkerchief hanging off the edge of the cliff. But perhaps the answer would be found someplace insignificant? After regressing so many times, I understood. The fact that the path to the future had always started humbly. Besides, Julian had stood me up. I should think about this a little later. Just when I left the drawing room and walked alone along the hallway.

“I greet the 8th Branch of the Empire.”

My eyes widened when I realised who it was. The Duchess of Aventa? It had been a long time since we last met. She smiled with elegance. 

“The Duchess of Aventa?”

“You’ve grown to be more beautiful than you were before.”

I thanked her for the compliment with her gaze before asking her. 

“What brings you here?”

She was headed for the main gates of my palace. She seemed to be leaving after her meeting.

“I came to see my daughter.”

As I slowly nodded my head to her words, the duchess smiled once more. 

“I was just surprised to see how much your eyes resembles those of my old friend. Pardon me if I’m being disrespectful but her noble blood is difficult to escape. At least that was what I felt.”

The woman’s face had a subtle glow as she talked about Auresia. Was the Duchess of Aventa about the same age as Aventa? Auresia was said to be close friends with the 1st and 2nd Princess too. 

“Duchess, were you close to my mother?”

“Yes, I was.”

The Duchess reminisced about her past. 

“Though I can no longer call her that, princess, have you happened to hear about the Saintess of the Empire?”

“Marissa… are you talking about her?”

“Yes. She is my husband’s sister. She’s his older sister.”

Oh, so she was Rebecca’s aunt? Rebecca herself had never brought her up but who knew the duchess would?

“She had forsaken her surname. She wanted to live on only as a Templar of the Sword. No longer under the name, Aventa.”

Wait. Since Marissa and the duchess were friends, and Marissa was the Duke of Aventa’s older sister, that meant the duchess married a younger man? With that new impression of her, I looked back at her. I hadn’t expected that. As I stared at the duchess’ gentle smile, my expression soon stiffened again. 

“Marissa had been the late 1st Princess’ Unica.”

“… Just like Rebecca?”

Unica. That was the title of Rebecca’s position. It was also another term for lady-in-waiting. 

“Yes. Basically, a lady-in-waiting. She was also her escorting knight. That was how Her Highness, the 1st Princess, Marissa, the 2nd Princess, Auresia and I became close friends.”

She looked down for a moment before smiling slightly. She looked to be filled with regret and guilt. I didn’t know what happened but something must have happened for Auresia to join hands with the Emperor who killed the 1st Princess. But now that I thought about it, I thought I could guess what happened. 

“I am someone who chooses not to involve myself in family affairs. But sending Rebecca to be your lady-in-waiting was my atonement for a long-time friend.”

“Rebecca told me she was sent to me under the duke’s orders to discover the truth behind the rumours surrounding the Crown Prince.”

“Yes, that’s what I told her. And that was all she knew. But I kept the real reason to myself. Because everything related to the 1st Princess was kept under wraps.”

A gentle wind blew, ruffling the duchess’ hair. 

“Also, the fact that I had been close friends with her.”

She was wearing a bright dress which contrasted her sorrowful expression. 

“Marissa had lost her finger after losing her life companion, the 1st Princess. She had resigned from her position as the Head Templar of the Sword. I just hoped that the tragedy would not repeat itself.”

“You don’t want to see me die?”

“Yes. I only hope you can be happy.”

The duchess captured me affectionately within her gaze. I recalled how strict she was when she taught me etiquette so long ago. 

“I hope you will not end up like Marissa and that you and my daughter can find your happiness.”

“I’ve met her before.”

Marissa, the Empire’s Saintess, had always been kind to me. It might have just been her personality but she had always done me unexpected favours. 

“Is that also the reason why the Saintess had been so kind to me?”

“Perhaps. Marissa might have been reminded of the same when she saw you, Princess. She must have thought of the late princess.”

It was strange. It felt almost as if a stranger had suddenly grabbed me as I walked through the crowds downtown before claiming to know me and wishing for my happiness. That was what the Duchess of Aventa was to me. 

“You’ve reached the age to marry, princess.”

With evidently no intentions on continuing the topic, she changed the subject. It felt a little sudden but I nodded.

“Right.”