CH 99

“He wanted to kill you, yet you spared him,” Jian Ci finally found his voice after a long pause, repeating, “You still miss him. What do you miss about him?”

Miss him for repaying kindness with enmity?

At the time, Ren Shuhan hadn’t mentioned a word about it, and Jian Ci assumed he was just embarrassed, so he didn’t inquire further.

But now, after all these years, Ren Shuhan brought it up for the first time, as if the betrayal and pain had never existed. All the blood he shed that night, all the flesh that was torn away, seemed to be completely disregarded, with only the phrase, “I miss him,” remaining.

“I miss the look in his eyes, his actions, and the words he said,” Ren Shuhan closed his eyes, pinching the corners, feeling a sourness in his mouth, “The person who attacked me that night wasn’t him.”

“You’re deceiving yourself,” Jian Ci gritted his teeth, clenching his fists tightly, “I will kill him for you.”

“Ah Ci,” Ren Shuhan suddenly opened his eyes, grasping Jian Ci’s wrist, applying pressure, then pausing for a moment before saying, “Master, don’t go find him.”

Jian Ci preferred the lofty position of being addressed as “Master,” so the system initially generated his identity as Ren Shuhan’s mentor. But with the emergence of romantic feelings, Jian Ci felt uncomfortable with the distance implied by “Master.” He thought that being called “Ah Ci” was special, and whenever Ren Shuhan called him that, he would try to agree to Ren Shuhan’s requests as much as possible.

“Okay,” Jian Ci said, not noticing that Ren Shuhan had called him “Master” again.

In reality, “Master” was the term that Ren Shuhan held dearer in his heart, because having a master meant he still had family, that he wasn’t alone. When he made the request to Jian Ci, he couldn’t help but use this former title, feeling somewhat at a loss and somewhat aggrieved, just like when he called out “Master” in his feverish delirium at the age of five, or when he solemnly vowed to take Little Jiang Qingyue with him to seek refuge with his master later on. Jian Ci agreed.

However, this didn’t mean Jian Ci wouldn’t act against Jiang Qingyue.

Jiang Qingyue wasn’t originally a demon, so it was unlikely that he could completely tame the demonic core inside him. But perhaps because the demonic core belonged to Ren Shuhan, Jiang Qingyue hesitated to torment him physically and instead chose to torture him psychologically.

After ascending to the immortal realm, Jiang Qingyue quietly immersed himself in cultivation within a demonic stronghold, rarely stepping out except to occasionally offer guidance to newcomers. During that time, he adhered strictly to the professional ethics of a cannon fodder character.

But now, that was no longer enough for Jian Ci.

Jian Ci rewrote Ren Shuhan’s fate, replacing all the antagonists’ names in the book with Jiang Qingyue’s name, officially bringing Jiang Qingyue onto the stage to take on the role of a villain who committed numerous evil deeds and killed indiscriminately.

It didn’t take long for Jiang Qingyue’s infamous reputation to reach Ren Shuhan’s ears.

Ren Shuhan chose to ignore it until Jiang Qingyue came with his men to issue a challenge.

This time, he wouldn’t be able to escape. Jian Ci thought, but as the wait dragged on, Ren Shuhan never nodded in agreement. In the end, Jian Ci had no choice but to draw his sword, facing Jiang Qingyue, and declared, “Once you addressed me as Master, and I once guided you. Now it’s my turn to clean up the mess and kill you myself. But out of consideration for our past relationship, I cannot bring myself to do it. So, I offer you a second option—”

“You decide your own fate.”

Jiang Qingyue remained unmoved, simply staring at Ren Shuhan.

“Forget it,” Ren Shuhan finally stood up, pressing down Jian Ci’s sword, and then walked over to Jiang Qingyue, standing face to face with him at an extremely close distance. “I’ll do it myself.”

He took Jiang Qingyue to the cliff behind the palace and engaged him in a one-on-one fight. After just a few moves, he forced Jiang Qingyue into a desperate situation. In the end, Jiang Qingyue fell off the cliff, his white robes stained red with blood, disappearing into the river below. After that, he was never seen again.

After everyone else dispersed, Ren Shuhan went alone to the spot where Jiang Qingyue fell off the cliff, holding his sword and standing silently, gazing at the moon.

Jian Ci came to stand beside him, trying to console him with the words “everyone dies eventually.” After a while of standing there together, Jian Ci, who was not good with words and was also worried about how long it would take for Ren Shuhan to recover from this, felt dissatisfied with his own response and remained silent.

Ren Shuhan only said, “You should go rest.”

His tone was weary, but beyond question.

After Jian Ci left, Ren Shuhan relaxed slightly, taking out a hairband from his pocket. One side was deep blue, and the other side was moon-white, with a hint of bloodstain. On the white side, he had embroidered a “Cold1From Ren Shuhan’s name” character in blue thread.

This hairband was embroidered by Jiang Qingyue himself. There are two in total, and one is carefully kept by Ren Shuhan, always carried close to his body. The blue side has the white character “Moon2From Jiang Qingyue’s name” embroidered on it.

It’s been so many years, yet Jiang Qingyue still wears this hairband, and Ren Shuhan wonders what he’s thinking about.

Ren Shuhan held the two hairbands in his hand, and as he looked at them, he suddenly noticed a drop of water staining the fabric. He looked up to see the clear night sky, realizing that he had been crying.

When he stitched his wounds in the heavy snow that year, he didn’t shed a tear.

Perhaps today was just too exhausting.

When Jian Ci was present earlier, Ren Shuhan felt a hidden guilt because his master had high expectations of him and abhorred evil. He had walked a righteous path all these years, gaining a good reputation. However, when faced with an old acquaintance steeped in bloody debt…

He still couldn’t bring himself to kill.

This time, Ren Shuhan even played word games when faced with his master’s questions, leading everyone to believe that he had truly killed Jiang Qingyue.

But the truth was, even if given another chance, he still couldn’t kill him.

He couldn’t do it; it would hurt too much.

Even if he became a demon, so what? Even if he continued to commit evil in the future, so what?

He couldn’t kill him. It was as simple as that.

Ren Shuhan sighed bitterly, realizing for the first time: Perhaps I’m not such a good person after all, just a selfish mortal.

After that, he never heard of Jiang Qingyue again.

Jian Ci chose to believe Ren Shuhan and didn’t investigate Jiang Qingyue’s fate further, because Jian Ci was also afraid. He was afraid of seeing answers he didn’t want to see and never getting the person he longed for.

Unfortunately, his fears came true.

A few years passed, and Ren Shuhan seemed single-minded in his cultivation, swiftly breaking through to the Nascent Soul stage, much earlier than Jian Ci. Surprisingly, he quietly practiced alone, without informing Jian Ci. One morning, he suddenly went to find Jian Ci and said some strange things.

“Ah Ci, I want to go out alone for a walk,” Ren Shuhan held something in his hand, speaking absentmindedly, “To see some unfamiliar scenery.”

Jian Ci didn’t understand why he was saying this, assuming he just wanted to go out. So, he nodded.

But soon after, the system actually prompted Jian Ci, “Unable to detect the male lead from the original book!”

Jian Ci: “??”

…

After breaking through the barriers of time and space, Ren Shuhan opened the door to this world and came to the main world. Originally, he just wanted to see his beloved one more time, no matter what he had become, but unexpectedly, he discovered the truth.

Cruel, unimaginable, and utterly despairing truth.

…

Returning to this world once more and deciding to be reborn, Ren Shuhan and Jiang Qingyue coincidentally chose to lock away their memories.

They both wanted to experience true life again, so all these past events would only resurface when they turned sixteen, not affecting their previous lives.

Actually, before they turned sixteen, Jian Ci hadn’t entered the story, so there wasn’t much difference in their lives.

But there were still regrets, so they chose to start from when they were twelve.

The year they came down from Cold Mountain, both children cried.

Jiang Qingyue wasn’t a crybaby, but the other child cried so much, wiping his tears while saying, “Don’t drive me away, I don’t want to leave the mountain.” He was infected, silently shedding tears and turning his head away, afraid of being seen by others.

“Why do you have to drive them away?” Young Ren Shuhan noticed and, afraid of hurting his pride, felt sorry for him but dared not wipe his tears for him. He questioned the attendant beside him, “Can’t they stay? ”

“They won’t be sent far away,” the servant replied, “They’ll just help out at the manor.”

“But that’s still far,” Ren Shuhan took Jiang Qingyue’s hand and said, “Can’t they stay like before?”

The servant hesitated, “There are… too many people… I don’t dare to make decisions on my own.”

The child who had been crying initially cried even harder, “I know, why do I have to go to that manor? Master Yang has already picked me. When I come down the mountain, he’ll send me away. His grandson is already my age. Don’t drive me away!”

Young Ren Shuhan was taken aback.

When the Jiang family selected people back then, they chose based on looks, after all, everyone talked about “immortal-like appearance,” thinking that the appearance of a cultivator wouldn’t be bad. This child, who was only twelve, had already caught someone’s eye.

Ren Shuhan secretly told the servant, “I’ll take him first, along with Jiang Qingyue.”

Only promising to leave two people was enough for the servant to agree. He quickly comforted the crying child and arranged for him to serve Ren Shuhan in secret.

“Don’t worry,” young Ren Shuhan secretly told Jiang Qingyue, “Nothing like this will happen to you. If someone tries to force you, it’s because I want it.”

He spoke vaguely, as his lines were restricted.

After being reborn, he could finally say clearly the words Jiang Qingyue had remembered for many years: “When we grow up, I’ll marry you.”

Okay so if I get it right, what we saw beforehand was their past before the start of this novel where they started going through worlds… and now they’re reliving their original life?

Thank you for reading