Chapter 300

Chapter 300

I left the Order's headquarters in a hurry, taking a portal exit that put me a few blocks away from one of the few coffee shops still up and kicking. After a bit of dark roast and rumination, I came to the conclusion I could worry about what the absence of the Personal Objective meant later.

There was a good chance it was nothing. Supporting that, none of my existing, outdated quests displayed the objective as failed. Perhaps it'd been long enough that keeping my identity guarded was meant to be assumed, and the objective had only been there as an early guard rail.

More to the point, I'd already failed it, intentionally. As a merchant, Kinsley—the first person I'd divulged my secret to—was a bit of a gray area. But Nick and Sae were Users, and despite belonging to the exact group of people I was supposed to shield my identity from, I'd told them explicitly.

Smart or not, Nick needed to hear it.

Similarly, Sae was so vulnerable and alone at the time that keeping her in the dark would have been borderline exploitation.

I told myself it made sense. I'd received unachievable objectives in quests before, but never—to my knowledge—because the criteria itself was simply inaccurate to reality. I received the quest to help Jinny before she died. Her death was imminent, and given the swiftness with which it happened, there was little anyone could have done to stop it barring some form of precognition. But up until the moment she died, it was still achievable.

"You're going to bring me back, right?"

I drained the coffee, trying to force the caffeine to clear my head through sheer power of will. All it left me with was jitters and an empty cup. I'd been too deep in my head lately. And when I found myself lost in the feedback loop of my own thoughts, there was generally only one thing that helped.

Getting back to basics.

I pulled up my UI

Matt

Level 24 Ordinator (25 Pending)

Strength: 6

Toughness: 12

Agility: 33+

Intelligence: 20+

Perception: 14

Will: 21

Companionship: 3

Active Title: Jaded Eye

Feats: Double-Blind, Ordinator's Guile II, Ordinator's Emulation, Stealth II, Awareness I, Harrowing Anticipation, Vindictive, Page's Quickdraw, Squelch, Acclimation, Hinder, Escalating Fire, Assassin II, Mind Spike, Decisive Action.

Skills: Probability Cascade, LVL 21. Suggestion, LVL 32. Command, LVL 15. One-handed, LVL 34. Negotiation, LVL 29. Unsparing Fang (Emulated), Level 23. Bow Adept, LVL 13. Twilight's Nocturne, LVL 16. Subjugation, LVL 31. Riposte, LVL 11.

Boons: Nychta's Veil, Eldritch Favor, Ordinator's Implements, Retainer's Guiding Hand

Summons: Audrey — Flowerfang Hybrid, Bond LVL 11. Talia — Eidolon Wolf, Bond LVL 15. Azure — Abrogated Lithid, Bond LVL 20.

I'd noticed the pending level earlier, a little after my horrific hangover had loosened the vices on my mind. It wasn't like me to miss a notification, especially one as significant as a level-up, so it had to have happened in the tower after Julien's boss one-shot caused me to lose consciousness.

Unamused by the memory, I lingered on silently cursing the problematic perk.

Keeps the user conscious until the moment of death my ass.

It'd been a questionable selection from the beginning. I'd picked it out of pure necessity, needing a way to keep myself conscious and functional in a critical moment. Having endured the unpleasantness of patching me up after the fact, Dr. Ansari railed on the stupidity of the perk with searing veracity.

"The mind loses consciousness for a reason, Mr. Matthias. It may keep you conscious, but it could kill you just as easily. Elevated stress hormones and the potential for psychological trauma alone are not to be trifled with. Maintaining awareness in the midst of something truly agonizing could easily give someone as young as you a heart attack. It could kill you even when the physical trauma itself would not."

Despite that, I'd been hesitant to get rid of it. If it hadn't so recently shown itself to be unreliable, I probably still would be. With lingering reluctance, I pulled the respec charm from my inventory—a gift from a crafter in my region—and selected Vindictive from the dropdown.



Huh. Not what I expected. The system was so often malicious that it was a surprise when things worked in a logical, not-out-to-fuck-you-over manner.

"What I don't understand," Azure said, hovering closer to the ground and literally putting his foot down, "is why you can't recognize the difference between a weapon capable of ending countless lives that is impossible to conceal, and an untraceable single-target ability that affects one person at most."

"Does it, though?" I set my coffee down unevenly, sending ripples across the surface. "Because I'd argue it affects the lives of everyone they rely on, people dependent on them, the victims of any accidents their diminished acuity may cause. Their children."

"As it would if they were killed or maimed in a pedestrian way." Azure's head lolled to the side, eyebrows knitted in exasperation.

I felt for Azure, I really did. To him, my caution must have seemed utterly irrational. It just wasn't something we would ever see eye-to-eye on. His logic and reasoning excelled at mimicking a human's, but like his sense of taste, lacked nuance. Spared little room for undefinables.

And somewhere between and was an undefinable I couldn't shake. wasn't permanent. It could be used in a way that instilled a dogmatic sort of loyalty, but that was entirely optional. and if used responsibly, all had the potential to leave the victim's psyche unharmed.

was the complete opposite. It battered the psyche, inflicted permanent harm to the sheer, ruthless purpose of lowering the target's stats enough to give my other abilities a foothold. I'd tried it only once, on a small group of hostile goblins in the tower. At the time, I figured testing on dumb, hostile mobs was kinder than targeting something neutral. It was necessary—for one thing, I would have never realized, possibly until there was zero room for error, that it was the only Ordinator ability I'd encountered that deployed a visible projectile.

As it worked out, neither was kind.

"I don't want to make it easier to use. More convenient or justifiable. Easier to stick to the rules that way."

"And I'll respect that, for now." Azure phased through the booth's wall, checking the perimeter for the second time that hour, his troubled voice still perfectly clear. "Because it helps you function. Right and wrong doesn't factor, for me. We could dangle Daphne off a building by her ankles tomorrow for all I care. I abide by your wishes because I care about you. And objectively, there's wisdom in being careful."

"But?" I prompted.

Azure, still facing away from me, breathed out, his shoulders slumping. "There's too many rules. They're too restrictive, and eventually you're going to paint yourself into a corner."

"I'll break them if I have to."

"Exactly." Azure looked up, watching the fading golden glow of the skyline, hands stuck in the ghostly manifestation of a hoodie. "You're capable of it, sure. But it weighs on you. Every time you cross a line you've set for yourself, the... hope... dulls a little more. It's dim enough as it is. Maybe this is a stupid sentiment, but I don't want to see it gone."

"...What hope?" I pretended not to understand. Not out of cruelty. It was just easier than the alternative.

Azure rubbed at his face with his sleeve then snapped out of existence. After a few seconds, I felt the buzzing behind my eyes again. "Just take . It pairs nicely with and you'll get practical value out of it quickly."

"Was thinking the same thing." I said quickly, scrolling down the page. "Still leaves us with two points though."

"Nothing else stood out. Maybe just bank them."

"What about this?" I pointed out a feat I'd been considering for a while.

"Transmogrify Equipment?" Azure asked, puzzled. "Why? It's entirely cosmetic."

I pulled up the description while I waited.







The light came on. "Unless," Azure realized, "You've recently upgraded your arsenal and don't want those recent, rather distinguishable acquisitions locked to Myrddin."

"Like you said, I have too many rules." I tried to offer it as an olive branch. "Maintaining different sets of equipment, leveling up skills for said equipment, it all splits too much focus. I've been pissed as hell at the Adventurer's Guild for dragging their feet, when in reality I've been doing the same thing in a different way. I'll still work on archery, of course. That'll only open up more options for me, and bows are a good fit."

"As we've observed before, Knives and Crossbows are relatively ubiquitous." Azure disembarked, reclining on his back and floating in front of me with his hands behind his head as if carried by an invisible cloud. "But the list of skilled, high-level Users who rely on them instead of switching to a sword is far shorter. Myrddin sits at the top of that list."

"Yeah. Gonna need to misdirect. People have already noticed that my page abilities aren't that different from a rogue's, so no point in going overboard. Need to style myself differently without sacrificing effectiveness. Just can't stand in the middle of a storm the same way. I'll give it some thought."

"Take your time," Azure raised his wrist, looking at an imaginary watch. "You've got... twelve hours, give or take?"

I tried not to let that get to me. Tomorrow needed to go well. I didn't even want to imagine the clusterfuck that would play out if there was a repeat of the last floor.

It was a defining moment.

And there were only a million more things I needed to do to get ready.