CH 35

“But…” Shen Fangyu froze.

Jiang Xu never said it explicitly.

So what he said before had a different meaning?

He previously told Jiang Xu that if he decided to give birth to the child, he would raise the child himself so that the other party was not burdened or embarrassed.

At the moment, the progress of the visa and the publishing of the article was not smooth, and he knew that after weighing the pros and cons, Jiang Xu chose to give birth to a child as a last resort. Why Jiang Xu talked about the past that night was unknown; he actually did not understand what Jiang Xu was trying to express.

Later, he lay on the bed and analyzed for a while, concluding that Jiang Xu was trying to convince him to accept his opinion.

But what did Jiang Xu mean now?

Could it be that he wanted to raise the child together?

Shen Fangyu felt like his mind was exploding.

Jiang Xu glanced at him and pushed the shopping cart to the cash register area.  When Shen Fangyu, whose mind was in a mess, reacted, Jiang Xu had already paid the money.

Shen Fangyu, who missed the opportunity to show off in front of his daughter, reacted consciously, asking, “What am I going to do now that you have paid the money?”

Jiang Xu pointed to several bags that the cashier had packed, and said naturally: “You will carry them.”

“To where?”

“The community.”

The mall was about a twenty-minute walk from Jiang Xu’s house, and it was no problem to take a walk regularly, but walking while carrying several bags was another matter.

Shen Fangyu looked at the bulging bags half a man’s height in a daze, and said in shock: “Won’t you at least get a car to pick me up?”

“Do I need to?”

Jiang Xu asked lightly.

“Or do you mean… you can’t manage? ”

Shen Fangyu: “…”

He remembered that provocation was his exclusive skill, when did Jiang Xu learn it?

—–

On the street to Jiang Xu’s house, two young men of similar height slowly walked between the tree-lined paths. The man on the side next to the road had his hands full of heavy packaging bags. His exposed forearms were slender but powerful, and you could see the veins that became obvious because of the exertion of strength.

The young men beside him walked leisurely by the side, occasionally reminding him not to let the bags hit the roadside obstacles.

It was really… pleasing to the eye.

“I don’t know why, I feel like a little white face you’re raising.” Shen Fangyu couldn’t help but say.

**Little white face is a derogatory term for a good looking man who relies on others for financial support.

Jiang Xu took a sip of the soy milk he bought on the side of the road, and commented when he heard this: “You’re good value for the money.”

“You’re enslaving me.” Shen Fangyu’s face was full of indignation.

Jiang Xu walked gracefully, “I’m training your arm strength.”

“And what do you need arm strength for?”

Jiang Xu bit the straw very lightly, and his gaze was somewhat meaningful.

Shen Fangyu suddenly figured out something.

Could it be that Jiang Xu was training his arm strength so that he could hold the child in the future?

So Jiang Xu wants to raise a child with him, right?

The thoughts that had been interrupted were revived again, Shen Fangyu’s heart beat faster and faster, and the hands holding the bags became sweaty.

He was a little afraid to ask, but he felt that if he didn’t ask, his heart would sooner or later hit his ribs.

“Jiang Xu,” Shen Fangyu finally spoke out for the health of his heart, “What did you mean when we were in the mall earlier?”

“You want to raise the child yourself?” Shen Fangyu gulped with difficulty, “Or, you mean, you want to join me and.…”

Jiang Xu paused and said to Shen Fangyu: “They all say that you have a high EQ. ”

“…” Shen Fangyu took a deep breath and said, “Just treat yourself as an exception to me.”

If he ranked the people he could understand, Jiang Xu must be the most difficult one to deal with.

Not because of how complicated Jiang Xu’s personality was, but because he couldn’t maintain absolute objectivity and rationality when facing Jiang Xu.

In the past, Jiang Xu was his nemesis, but now he had an extra-unclear identity. His subjective emotions were always easily stirred when he was with Jiang Xu, which made it difficult for him to examine and judge what he had to do as he does with other people.

Shen Fangyu himself did not understand why this exception occurred. He did not have time to think most times, and he’d say or do some impulsive things, as if Jiang Xu came specifically to stir his mind up.

Perhaps it’s because of this veil of subjective emotions that made him feel like he didn’t really understand Jiang Xu, despite knowing each other for a long time.

After impulsively asking Jiang Xu to live with him, he regretted it several times, feeling that, according to Jiang Xu’s personality, he would not only reject his kindness, but also taunt him about it.

As a result, he didn’t. Jiang Xu not only did not sneer at his invitation but also invited him to live in his home.

Although Jiang Xu’s invitation was so sudden that night, his attitude was not too friendly, and he was giving orders as usual, but Shen Fangyu still felt that he was very strange and complicated.

That was Jiang Xu.

Jiang Xu actually tolerated him living in his home, barely maintaining a semblance of peace.

In the end, he attributed the reason to the fact that the pregnancy was too hard and that even Jiang Xu, a superior and strong character, needed his occasional care and help temporarily.

But what Jiang Xu said today, combined with his words that night, was too big of a hint and even an explicit indication.

Objective reason told Shen Fangyu that Jiang Xu meant exactly what he said, but when the person is Jiang Xu, his mind would come out to mess with the audio-visual and tell him that it was impossible.

It wasn’t a relationship that ended in a day or two; it wasn’t a matter of months; a child would take eighteen years to become an adult, and if Jiang Xu decided to raise the child with him, it meant that the two rivals would live together for at least eighteen years… and yet the two of them were not even friends.

Jiang Xu was crazy to come up with such words.

Sure enough, after he said the sentence “you’re an exception,” Jiang Xu fell silent, and Shen Fangyu even saw him gulp as he hesitated to speak and that the tips of his ears were slightly red.

Shen Fangyu thought that he must have misunderstood Jiang Xu’s words, leaving Jiang Xu speechless.

Shen Fangyu suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

If it had been before, he would never have asked such a question, but he now realizes that Jiang Xu is different from his previous cognition, so he can’t help but ask for clarification. But it seems that he was being too self-indulgent.

He subconsciously tried to smooth things over: “I don’t mean anything else, I just think… It’s hard for you to carry her and then give birth to her, so I—”

Unexpectedly, Jiang Xu actually interrupted him and said: “Do you want to?”

Shen Fangyu almost bit the tip of his tongue.

The noisy street seemed to suddenly become quiet, and Shen Fangyu felt that his brain was buzzing. He seemed to be unable to hear anything except his heartbeat.

For a moment, he even wondered if Jiang Xu’s body had changed souls.

Jiang Xu looked away from him without a trace, and stared straight ahead. “You are not the only one who understands responsibility. ”

He said: “I am her biological father; I will raise her until adulthood, and I will try to give her as much as a two-parent family can give her. ”

In fact, when he told Shen Fangyu that he had decided to have a baby, he planned to talk to him, but because Shen Fangyu did not understand the meaning of his words, Jiang Xu became so angry that he lost interest in talking.

He pursed his lips and said, “If you are willing to raise her together, we can live together temporarily and raise her together like two roommates. I have no problem if you want to leave halfway, but… you know, little ones will develop feelings for adults they grow up with, so if you feel like leaving, it is better to explain it to her. ”

“If she still doesn’t want you to leave after the explanation, considering the child’s mental health,” Jiang Xu glanced at him, “I won’t agree to let you go.”

“So I hope you can think clearly before giving me an answer,” Jiang Xu said. “Either you don’t participate right from the beginning, or you take the risks if you participate.”

“Of course,” Jiang Xu took the key and opened the door, then took a step back and let Shen Fangyu, who was carrying heavy bags, go in first, “You are also her family, if you don’t want to participate in raising her, I won’t deny you permission to visit her occasionally. You can rest assured.”

“In addition, I can also assure you that I will do my best to care for our child, and you don’t have to worry that she will be wronged.”

His words could be described as full of sincerity, if one of the pregnant and divorced couples of the Civil Affairs Bureau could say such words, the divorce mediator will not be so overwhelmed, and maybe he could bring the couple back together.

But he and Shen Fangyu were not a couple who had quarreled and were experiencing a broken relationship; they did not have a relationship.

The sudden child’s arrival bound two people who should have been rivals for life and turned their lives upside down. The lives of two people who should have obeyed the opinions of their elders, married, and had children step by step, were also drawn to an end.

Jiang Xu thought that perhaps Shen Fangyu could still come out of this matter, but he (Jiang Xu) couldn’t live the life his parents wanted him to live anymore.

He could slowly get over the fact that he’d slept with a man, but even if the child was taken away now, he couldn’t find a woman to marry.

His conscience would not allow him to hide the fact of pregnancy from his future wife, but even if Dr. Jiang were young and promising, which woman could accept that her husband once got pregnant?

Maybe he could meet a bodhisattva kind of woman someday, but Jiang Xu didn’t want to expose his scars before others again and again.

Fortunately, Jiang Xu himself was not yearning for marriage and a love life that much, so he was so sad or disappointed now, the only troublesome thing might be how to explain it to his parents.

Jiang Xu thinks about it at times. If he hadn’t caved into his parents’ urges to get married, he wouldn’t have pursued Zhong Lan at that time, and he wouldn’t have ended up sleeping with Shen Fangyu, and getting pregnant. In the end, he probably won’t get married in this life.

It was a bit ironic.

It was as if God had deliberately played a joke on him to punish him for not making up his mind.

So this time, he didn’t plan to change his opinions for the sake of his family’s expectations.

He was not opposed to Shen Fangyu taking care of the child with him. Doctors get so busy with work, and he was now in the golden period of his career. If he were to raise the child alone, it would be too much for him, even if he had three heads and six arms.

He may not be able to reconcile with Shen Fangyu for a while, but in the face of the big problem of a child, the old conflicts and the absurd night between him and Shen Fangyu also seemed insignificant.

But just like he said to Shen Fangyu, he didn’t want Shen Fangyu to participate and then leave. It would break the child’s heart, so he had to ask Shen Fangyu whether he was willing or not.

Shen Fangyu had been silent the whole time. Jiang Xu looked back at him and found the latter standing at the entrance of the door, spraying alcohol on the plastic bags.

This was actually his habit, he didn’t know when Shen Fangyu had started memorizing all of his habits.

To be honest, Jiang Xu didn’t know what kind of answer Shen Fangyu would give him.

But whether Shen Fangyu’s answer made him happy or unhappy, he would never show any emotions on his face.

Then Shen Fangyu spoke.

“Jiang Xu,” he said, “I have been number one ever since I was a child, until I met you in college.”

“…… For so many years, the two of us have been neck to neck and I have always wanted to truly defeat you one day. ”

He skillfully sprayed alcohol, and the reassuring smell penetrated Jiang Xu’s nose.

“But if I beat you one day because you had to put most of your energy into raising our child, and I stood by and watched, I would feel that my win was worthless.”

Because his hands were busy, he didn’t have to look into Jiang Xu’s eyes, and for some reason, Shen Fangyu, who had never been afraid of anything, felt a little relaxed because of this.

But when he said the last sentence, he still put down the alcohol spray, gathered courage, and looked at Jiang Xu. “I’ve been single for so many years because of you, and I’m not afraid of being single for a lifetime.”

His eyes were very bright, and when the bright sunlight outside came in, it made those radiant eyes look a bit affectionate, and Jiang Xu turned his face away unnaturally.

“What do you mean you’ve been single for so many years, I didn’t stop you from falling in love when we were in college.”

He was obviously trying to anger Shen Fangyu, but he hooked the corner of his mouth almost imperceptibly.

“You didn’t stop me from falling in love, but you took up all my time for love,” Shen Fangyu thought of the past, lowered his head, and couldn’t help laughing, looking like he wanted to turn over old accounts.

“Tell me, which self-study session did you have after class that I wasn’t with you?” He said bluntly: “Aside from eating, drinking, and sleeping, we spent the rest of our time in that class.”

The study room of A Medical University was very tense, the library was always full, and the medical laboratories were full of students. The two eight-year clinical students, as the top scholars who came in with the highest admission scores, couldn’t bear the situation where there was no place for self-study.

So after countless sharply worded application letters from the eight-year students, the school leaders were finally overwhelmed and arranged a separate classroom for their eight-year students, and informed the classroom management teacher not to lock the door, leaving it open 24 hours a day, so that these two kings could study whenever they wanted.

So during the holidays, festivals, and other times others were socializing with girls from other classes, the two of them sat in the silent classroom and secretly competed with each other.

“Don’t think I don’t know, Shen Fangyu.” Jiang Xu couldn’t help but say when he heard him turn over old accounts: “You used me as an excuse every time you turned down an invitation. ”

Then many girls came to Jiang Xu, persuaded him to stop studying so hard, and asked him if he could rest more.

Jiang Xu didn’t understand what the situation was at that time, thinking that people meant well, until he couldn’t help asking one day and then listened to the girl explain: “Shen Fangyu said that if you don’t rest, he won’t rest, but I want to have a meal with him, can you take a break for a meal?”

Jiang Xu listened to her with his head full of black lines.

College was much more lenient with relationships than in high school, and there were many girls and even guys who tried pursuing Jiang Xu. He had always directly refused and never used Shen Fangyu as an excuse. He still couldn’t help but get angry when he thought about it.

“I was afraid that being too direct would break their hearts. I’m a soft-hearted person.” Shen Fangyu said it with guilt. “Besides, what I said is the truth. If it weren’t for you, I really wouldn’t have worked so hard in college.”

This, Jiang Xu believed, because he was the same.

Before going to college, Jiang Xu and Shen Fangyu had their own learning rhythms, and the combination of work and rest was also very balanced. This rhythm was enough for them to dominate in various exams.

It wasn’t until they arrived at college that the two refused to admit defeat and take second place, so they both changed their rhythm because of each other.

Jiang Xu glanced at Shen Fangyu, who was sorting out the baby products, and suddenly felt that fate was really a mysterious thing.

If he hadn’t met Shen Fangyu in college, he would have studied at his previous pace, taken the first place more easily, had time to date and hang out with girls, might have had a campus romance at the right age, accompanied the girl he liked to the dormitory, and maybe even entered the palace of marriage.

And Shen Fangyu would have done the same.

But because of this unreasonable fate, they now have to live with each other and raise a child, and maybe spend the rest of their lives together.

But…… Jiang Xu thought that such a life did not seem to be as bad as it sounded to him.

“Why are you in a daze? Your phone is ringing.”

Shen Fangyu was waving his hand in front of Jiang Xu’s eyes, and he accidentally touched his bangs. Jiang Xu suddenly came back to his senses and saw Shen Fangyu pointing at his mobile phone, which was ringing madly.

“Don’t touch.” Jiang Xu lowered his eyes, with a subtle expression on his face.

“I can’t even touch your hair?” Shen Fangyu pouted, “Didn’t I blow dry your hair well two days ago?”

Jiang Xu didn’t speak, realizing that he had been distracted because of Shen Fangyu. He always felt that something was not right.

But there was no time for him to think about it, so he picked up his phone and lowered his gaze to glance at the caller.

He thought that it was from the hospital and was disappointed that this hard-earned day off was about to end, but then he saw that it was his mother calling and was relieved.

“Mom?” He asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Xiao Xu,” Mother Jiang’s voice was very kind, “what are you doing? Are you hanging out with some girls?”

When his mother called him two days ago, she mentioned that he should pay attention to rest, and Jiang Xu told her about his day off today.

There were no girls, but there was a boy with him.

He glanced at Shen Fangyu and said helplessly to his mother, “I’m resting at home.”

Unexpectedly, Mother Jiang did not talk about how he should find a girlfriend, and Jiang Xu wondered if the sun was rising from the west today. Only to hear the voice on the phone say, “Your father and I are downstairs; we came to see you.”

The relaxed mood he’d gotten disappeared, and he suddenly looked at Shen Fangyu.