CH 57.2

“Number 83, Shen Fangyu.”

After waiting for a while, the big screen finally showed Shen Fangyu’s number, and he was called in. He took a deep breath and steadily walked into the consultation room. He immediately breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the doctor inside.

The doctor was a young male doctor and not an acquaintance.

He took off his mask and glasses and smiled at the outpatient doctor.

“Star?” The doctor seemed to understand something when he saw that he was handsome and had his face protected like this.

Shen Fangyu shook his head frantically.

The doctor showed an expression of understanding and asked, “Is it the condition?”

As a doctor, Shen Fangyu knew how to give the most concise and clear account of a condition, but as a patient…… he couldn’t express his condition that clearly.

“It’s just that…I have a friend… who’s straight.”

The outpatient doctor gave him a look.

“Ahem,” Shen Fangyu cleared his throat and sped up his speech, “he accidentally had sex with a colleague one time, and after that, he has been particularly sensitive when it comes to this colleague and is particularly prone to …… reactions.”

Speaking of this, Shen Fangyu’s face inexplicably burned a little, and he didn’t know if it was because of embarrassment or for some other reason.

“What do you think is wrong with this friend of mine?” Shen Fangyu said, “Can it be cured?”

“A colleague who is also a man?” The doctor noticed something unusual in his stammers.

Shen Fangyu nodded his head.

The outpatient doctor’s expression was somewhat complicated: “You react to men, are sensitive to their touch, can sleep with them, but you’re a straight man?”

“……” Shen Fangyu struggled tenaciously, “It’s my friend, not me.”

However, the outpatient doctor in the andrology department was not interested in having story time with him; he typed on the computer for a while and then told Shen Fangyu, “I’ve transferred your registration slip to the psychiatric department; it’s upstairs; there’s no need to re-charge the registration fee; go and have a look.”

Shen Fangyu: “……”

The insulted Dr. Shen angrily put on his sunglasses and mask and walked out of the consultation room without looking back.

The andrologist calmly watched him leave, then tried to remember what he looked like, intending to report it to his girlfriend, who liked chasing stars.

–This star likes men, but if he refuses to admit his sexuality, that will cause problems.

Bad star Shen Fangyu was sitting in his car at the moment, sulking.

‘What kind of doctor is this? I should have known better than to come.’

He inserted the car keys with the intention of going home. The car started; he put his hands on the steering wheel and swept his eyes on the rearview mirror, yet he didn’t move for a while.

“Are you going or not, young man?” A car slowly approached, obviously taking a fancy to the space he had parked in.

He had come fairly early today, and with a bit of luck, he managed to occupy a spot in the shade of a tree.

After a while, Shen Fangyu took a deep breath, pulled the car keys out, and said to that uncle, “I’m not leaving.”

Forget it; isn’t it just a visit to the psychiatric department? He’ll just take a look.

He was considering it because of the good parking space he had taken and the hard work of running around for so long this early in the morning.

He retraced his steps back to the outpatient building and rushed to the psychiatric department, where he saw an amiable old doctor.

Psychiatric consultations were not quite like those in other departments. The numbers were passed through slowly, and the doctors were chronic, insisting on having a good chat if they saw you in a bad state.

“It’s all right, young man,” the old doctor said with confidence. “I’ve seen a lot of patients, you can talk to me about any problems you have.”

Shen Fangyu said what he had said to the anthologist in a lifeless manner.

He wondered if the old doctor had read the same script as the anthologist. He leaned back, pursed his lips with a complicated expression, and said the same thing to Shen Fangyu: “You react to men, are sensitive to their touch, and can sleep with them, but you’re straight?”

Shen Fangyu retorted weakly, “It’s not me, it’s my friend …… Do you think he can still be saved?”

“Your case …… is indeed rare.” The old doctor looked at him for a while and said tentatively, “Why don’t we think outside the box?”

“Hmm?” There was finally some light in Shen Fangyu’s eyes: “Tell me.”

“Is there a possibility that ……” the old doctor paused, “you ended up liking this colleague you accidentally slept with?”

“I like…” Shen Fangyu repeated as he thought about the old doctor’s words, but in the middle of his sentence, he inadvertently bit the tip of his tongue and retorted, “How is that possible? How could I like him? “

The old doctor said calmly, “It’s normal to be gay, so don’t be too burdened.”

“I know but-“ Shen Fangyu opened his mouth to say something, yet when he met the old doctor’s eyes, which seemed to see everything, he suddenly couldn’t say anything again.

“Have you ever… liked the same sex before?” The old doctor asked.

Shen Fangyu shook his head in a daze.

“What about the opposite sex?”

Shen Fangyu thought for a while, but could only recall a few vague shadows, so he said to the old doctor, “I don’t remember much, it was probably before college.”

The old doctor was silent for a moment and suggested, “This… bisexuality is also very normal, why don’t you think about it again?”

“Bisexuality?”

“Yes,” the old doctor said, “you’ve probably been stereotyping for too long; you’re not self-aware, so you haven’t realized it yet. If you still haven’t figured it out in a week or two, then come back to me.” He looked at the distracted Shen Fangyu and added, “If you trust me, you can register for an appointment; I sit here every week.”

Shen Fangyu raised his eyes to look at the old doctor; his gaze was wise and serene, but inexplicably, such a gaze made him feel confused.

He drifted out of the hospital like a wandering soul and sat in the car for a long time, his head still in a daze.

His past self-perceptions were crumbling to dust like a collapsing building.

He liked Jiang Xu?

How could that be?

Yes, he did care about Jiang Xu, and he was possessive of him and even had physical reactions because of him.

But how could he possibly like Jiang Xu?

Who was Jiang Xu?

Jiang Xu was his old nemesis, with whom he has competed with for ten years, his arch enemy, who has been fighting with him over nothing, and only now has their relationship warmed up.

But to say that he likes Jiang Xu?

It was like saying that Xiang Yu actually had a crush on Liu Bang, that Liu Bei was secretly having an affair with Cao Cao, and that Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu were in love with each other; all were so outrageous that no one would dare to believe such a wild history.

But …… if he really had no illicit thoughts at all, why were the old doctor’s words still swirling in his head?

It was as if they were trying to cut his heart open to see through it.

The old doctor’s face and Jiang Xu’s face overlapped in his mind, and he suddenly seemed to recall many different kinds of past events.

The Jiang Xu who caught his eye at the internet café, the Jiang Xu who had declared war on him in college, the Jiang Xu who had walked with him past the bozai cake shop those days, the seductive Jiang Xu in his absurd dreams, the Jiang Xu who had smiled at him and liked his tiger skin peppers, the Jiang Xu who had suddenly embraced him in the dark of the night ……

There were so many Jiang Xus and his mind was finally fixed on the serious Jiang Xu as he said he would take care of him.

He was Emotional that night, and he wondered why he blurted out the question of why Jiang Xu chose to keep the baby.

So what if it had something to do with him? So what if it had nothing to do with him?

What did he really want to hear from Jiang Xu, or rather, what did he want to confirm?

The night’s unbridled sensibility and the daytime’s rational thoughts fought each other, leaving him unable to distinguish between right and wrong for a while.

Shen Fangyu felt that his thoughts were fragmented and chaotic. It was as if he was being controlled by something. He wanted to break free from his selfish desires but was unable to do so, he wanted to reach the truth but always missed the mark.

Were his thoughts about Jiang Xu pure?

If they were, why did his heart beat so fast?

But if they weren’t, how was he supposed to get along with Jiang Xu in the future?

Jiang Xu trusted him so much, even to the extent that he thought he could live with him for the rest of his life.

But now he was having reactions and thoughts about him that he shouldn’t have and had desire to take possession and ask for more.

Was this appropriate?