CH 77

“Oh, you we were all lovey-dovey just awhile ago, and now you’re quarreling,” Tang Ke looked at Jiang Xu with amusement, teasingly saying, “Hey, I heard that Li Yalei has bought four or five houses in A City recently, and it seems like Huo Chengchun is planning to come back to the country. Why don’t you contact them? One is rich and the other is returning from abroad. They might be able to help you negotiate with Dr. Kenn and get a lower price.”

Jiang Xu leaned against the sofa at Tang Ke’s place, rubbing his lower back. His coat was open, revealing a black turtleneck sweater which outlined his baby bump clearly.

For some reason, Xiaoxiao had been a bit restless and agitated these days, always feeling jittery. He placed his hand on his stomach to soothe her, while saying to Tang Ke, “You’re quite magnanimous.”

“I have to be magnanimous. You’ve been coming to me every other day for the past few days. I have to adjust my mood so that I’m ready for when you come to find me,” Tang Ke replied with a smile.

“Tang Ke sat next to Jiang Xu with one leg bent. “Jiang Xu, do you know that back then, Li Yalei and Huo Chengchun bought cakes and milk tea for the whole class to keep it a secret from Shen Fangyu. We were all told to keep our mouths shut in front of Shen Fangyu.” Tang Ke couldn’t help but tease, “’I guess only two people in our class didn’t receive the instructions. One is Shen Fangyu, and the other is you. They probably never expected that you would eventually sell them out to Shen Fangyu.’”

Jiang Xu sighed, “It’s all fate.”

Tang Ke: “…”

These two rich second generations really have money and nowhere to spend it.

Tang Ke continued, “But Jiang Xu…” He looked at him seriously and put away his smile, “I’m asking you, do you really trust Shen Fangyu?”

Jiang Xu’s hand massaging his stomach paused. He knew what Tang Ke was questioning.

Before, when he and Shen Fangyu weren’t in love, Shen Fangyu could agree to perform surgery for him without much psychological burden. But now, as lovers, Shen Fangyu would face unimaginable psychological pressure on the operating table.

During his time at A Medical University and when he worked at Jihua, Jiang Xu had encountered many cases of doctors’ family members needing surgery. But most doctors would not personally perform surgery on their loved ones because the pressure was too great. They might not be able to stay calm and make wrong judgments.

This was a natural and normal instinct that humans would find difficult to overcome and resist.

And being a doctor was one of the professions that required the most rationality.

So his mentor told him not to perform surgery on family members unless absolutely necessary.

But when that “absolutely necessary” moment arrived, every doctor who had the courage to perform the surgery and successfully complete it would truly become a fully-fledged doctor.

Because it meant that they had truly internalized all the qualities and skills required of a doctor, and engraved them into their very being.

It meant one had great confidence in one’s skills, and when he or she stood on the operating table, they were confident and calm enough to even go against the natural instincts of humanity with objective rationality.

In Jiang Xu’s long years of schooling, he had encountered many doctors, colleagues, and teachers, but only two doctors like that.

One had to operate on his mother, who had her liver removed because of cancer, and the other had to operate on his wife, who had a tumor removed.

In Jiang Xu’s memory, more often than not, there were chief physicians with shaky hands who had to be replaced during surgery, and teaching professors who couldn’t even enter the operating room.

Based on a comprehensive analysis of these examples, Jiang Xu thought that he should not trust Shen Fangyu.

But when it came to this surgery, besides Shen Fangyu, Jiang Xu couldn’t find anyone else he could trust more.

Dr Albert had made it clear that the success of this surgery depended largely on the patient’s condition, and if Dr Kenn did it, he might not be better than Shen Fangyu.

Moreover, Dr Kenn suddenly raised the price exorbitantly, and while greed was one aspect, on the other hand… Jiang Xu found it hard not to suspect that Dr Kenn didn’t have the confidence to do this surgery.

After watching Dr. Albert’s live broadcast, Dr Kenn must have known that luck played a part in his success.

Now that his reputation was soaring, he really didn’t need to make things difficult for patients because of the surgical fee. If he could successfully perform another surgery, even if it was for free, it would be beneficial to him and further boost his value.

So demanding a high surgical fee made it easy for people to suspect that he was trying to discourage the. from seeking medical treatment or leave a way out for himself in case the surgery went wrong.

Dr Kenn was now being praised too highly and had many honors so he was more afraid of falling from such heights than anyone else.

Shen Fangyu performing the surgery for him might have many concerns due to their relationship, but Dr Kenn performing the surgery for him would also have the worries about his reputation being damaged.

But apart from these two people, Jiang Xu couldn’t find a third person anymore.

Before Dr Albert’s failure, there might have been colleagues willing to give it a try, but now, Jiang Xu thought that besides Shen Fangyu, there was probably no one else willing to take on this risk.

Now it was even more “unavoidable” than “unavoidable” itself.

Moreover, putting aside all the rational thinking above, emotionally, Jiang Xu always trusted Shen Fangyu.

Part of it was because they had been competing for more than ten years, and no one understood Shen Fangyu’s professional level and crisis response ability better than his competitor.

The other part was because he was his lover.

Emotionally, he would unconditionally trust his lover, as long as Shen Fangyu didn’t think he couldn’t do it, he believed that Shen Fangyu could definitely do it.

Even if something really went wrong, they would bear the consequences together.

So in the end, he gave Tang Ke his answer, “As long as he dares to do it, I dare to let him do it.”

Tang Ke remained silent for a long time, then nodded and said to him, “Since you trust him, then give him some more time. Shen Fangyu is not that fragile, maybe he will figure it out soon.”

“The conclusion he arrived at after much contemplation seems to be that I don’t love him,” Jiang Xu let out a soft sigh. “And he even sold the house.”

“Jiang Xu, you should remember a phrase, ‘worrying leads to chaos’,” Tang Ke said. “He is worried and his mind is chaotic, and you are also worried and your mind is chaotic. You feel sorry for him, but it actually makes him anxious.”

“In fact, both of you have a similar temperament. It was the same when you were studying. The more difficult something was to accomplish, the more determined you were to achieve it. That’s why both of you are so persistent.”

“I know you suggested finding Dr Kenn because you care about him, but what kind of personality does Shen Fangyu have?” he remarked. “He may seem humble on the surface, but deep down, he is arrogant. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been at odds with you for so many years.”

“Shen Fangyu is currently struggling with something in his heart. If you didn’t say those words to provoke him, maybe he would have figured it out and overcome it after some time. But now that you’ve said that, he will feel that you don’t believe in him anymore.”

“He’s anxious, and you’re anxious too, so it’s just a mess. As for the house…if it’s sold, it’s sold. Use the money for investments and make more money. After all, you can’t live in two houses now that you’re a family now.”

“Don’t doubt me. Although I’m single now, I have had girlfriends before.”

Tang Ke looked like an experienced person and said, “When you love someone too much, it’s easy to feel inferior. Plus, he promised to do the surgery, but now his mentality is messed up. He must blame himself and feel unworthy of you.”

Tang Ke had gossiped with Jiang Xu many times about how they got together. He said, “If I were Shen Fangyu, I would also think that you initially rejected me, but later agreed because I helped you beat Huang Bin and went through a life and death situation for the documents in M country. I would feel that you agreed because you were touched.”

“Now he realizes that he can’t do anything for you, so he naturally becomes anxious.” Tang Ke advised, “In a relationship, if he thinks you don’t love him that much, then praise him more, compliment him more, let him feel that you do indeed like him.”

Jiang Xu was obviously not someone who easily expressed emotions, so it was a bit difficult for him to praise Shen Fangyu.

He lowered his eyelashes, avoiding Tang Ke’s suggestion, and said frankly, “I didn’t agree because I was touched.”

“I know you didn’t agree because you were touched. Jiang Xu, you’re such a proud person. How could you agree to someone’s pursuit just because you were touched?” Tang Ke said, “I knew when you told me that you were together with him that you truly thought highly of him and liked him.”

“But being in a relationship yourself and watching others in a relationship are two different things. Friction, misunderstandings, personality clashes, these all need to be personally experienced and felt. Who can guarantee that there will be no mistakes forever? Otherwise, why do they say that those who can maintain a long-term emotional relationship are capable people?”

After he finished speaking, he laughed self-deprecatingly, with a hint of bitterness in his jest, “If I had been as clear-headed in my love life as I am now in chatting with you, I would have been married two years ago. I would have a wife, children, and a warm bed. Who would have time to be your emotional mentor?”

Tang Ke used to have a very good relationship with his girlfriend, and Jiang Xu had met her many times. Originally, Jiang Xu was supposed to be the bestman at Tang Ke’s wedding, but they suddenly broke up.

According to Tang Ke, the girl’s graduation was delayed due to her supervisor, and the wedding date kept getting postponed. The girl was anxious, but Tang Ke was busy making money and preparing to buy a house, neglecting her feelings. The pressure grew, and the conflicts grew deeper, and the girl said, “Let’s not get married.”

They had planned to get married, but they broke up because of the wedding.

During that time, Tang Ke almost stayed at Jiang Xu’s place every day, crying in his arms. After crying, they would analyze and dissect the months before Tang Ke’s breakup with his girlfriend, hour by hour, trying to figure out where the problem was.

“Communication is more important than anything else,” Tang Ke once again said to Jiang Xu, throwing out the answer to the problem from back then.

After a moment of silence, Jiang Xu sighed and said, “That’s what you told me back then.”

The person involved is often confused.

When you are in a relationship, it’s easy to forget some of the most basic things.

Having enlightened Jiang Xu enough, Tang Ke felt it was time to stop. He stood up to pour himself a glass of water, intending to moisten his throat, but unexpectedly, the doorbell rang.

Jiang Xu was suddenly startled as he looked over subconsciously, then quickly averted his gaze.

Tang Ke gave Jiang Xu a meaningful glance, then glanced at the monitor at the door, and said to Jiang Xu, “The person you’ve been waiting for has arrived.”

“I wasn’t waiting for him,” Jiang Xu said.

“You didn’t even bring your luggage, were you really planning to stay at my place?” Tang Ke laughed, not giving his old friend any face as he pointed out, “Weren’t you waiting for him to come?”

Jiang Xu: “…”

“Hey, tell me,” Tang Ke guessed, “Is he here to bring your luggage?”

Although Jiang Xu knew it was unlikely, Shen Fangyu had been acting strangely lately so he inexplicably became anxious.

He was anxious as Tang Ke went to open the door, and prepared to throw Shen Fangyu out of his home if he really brought a suitcase.

Fortunately, Shen Fangyu didn’t bring any suitcase, he just brought a box of fruits for Tang Ke.

“Look, he even knows to bring gifts when he comes to visit.” Tang Ke smiled as he accepted it, then pulled Jiang Xu up from the couch like a peacemaker. “Go, go back, I want to sleep.”

Jiang Xu glanced at Shen Fangyu, who initially avoided his gaze but then looked back at him after a while, and asked him softly, “Are you coming back? We already have fruit at home… apples and durians.”

Tang Ke didn’t know what kind of riddle they were playing, but it was obvious that after Shen Fangyu finished speaking, Jiang Xu suddenly took a few steps forward.

But Shen Fangyu still insisted, “I don’t eat durians.”

Maybe he didn’t know how to start, or maybe good communication always required a buffer period before it could happen, but the journey back home was very quiet. The two lovers who had just had a disagreement got out of the car and walked towards their home without saying a word.

After a while, when they were about to enter the elevator, Jiang Xu suddenly reached out and held Shen Fangyu’s hand.

Shen Fangyu, who had been tense all the way, couldn’t hold back anymore. He turned around and tightly hugged Jiang Xu the moment the elevator doors closed, his heart feeling sour and astringent, as if he had soaked in lemon water.

Later, the elevator stopped on the twelfth floor for a while, and then automatically returned to the first floor.

It wasn’t until the elevator climbed to the twelfth floor for the second time that the two of them finally stepped out of the elevator.

“It’s my fault,” Shen Fangyu said, “I shouldn’t have sold the house without your consent. I’m sorry.”

With warmth still in his chest, Jiang Xu opened the door, glanced at Shen Fangyu, and said, “What did I tell you last time?”

Shen Fangyu hesitated for a moment, and then changed his words with some hesitation, “I…love you.”

“Say it again?”

“I love you.” Shen Fangyu siad it without hesitation this time, as if it was instinctive. He looked at Jiang Xu’s face and repeated, “I love you, Jiang Xu.”

The words “I love you” were so resolute and powerful that Jiang Xu’s brain was momentarily stunned. Unexpectedly, the door to his heart, whether it was open or not, was pushed open.

He looked away, but after a while, he turned to look at him again. The words that had been weighing on his heart now flowed smoothly.

“You’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and I’m really worried about you,”

“My mind is a bit chaotic,” Shen Fangyu said. “I keep having nightmares.”

“I put sleeping pills in your cup,” Jiang Xu confessed.

“I saw them last time,” Shen Fangyu said. “I needed to take them.”

“I didn’t want to go find Dr. Kenn,” Jiang Xu said. “I just wanted you to relax a bit.”

“Do you still trust me then?” Shen Fangyu asked.

Jiang Xu remained silent for a moment, then suddenly took out a USB flash drive from his bag. He opened the projection in the living room, inserted the USB flash drive, and brought up a PPT. The soothing music was romantic and lingering. Jiang Xu clicked on autoplay and sat down beside Shen Fangyu.

“This is what I wanted to show you on the day you returned from M country, but you beat me to confessing, so I didn’t show it,” he said, placing his hand on Shen Fangyu’s hand and looking up at the screen. “You can watch it now.”

The living room was dark, and the projection light fell on the faces of the two people, outlining their features clearly.

Jiang Xu’s PPT was simple, in the usual format he used for presentations, with pictures accompanied by the dates of each photo, and the source of the quotes in the bottom right corner.

It was from the time they were 18 years old until now, all the photos of him and Shen Fangyu together.

Some had a lot of people, some only had the two of them, mostly from the school’s official website, and some were downloaded from class groups and other websites.

The first one was a newspaper clipping of when they were top scholars in the high school entrance exam. The youthful faces of the 18-year-old boys arranged side by side on the newspaper matched perfectly.

The second one was a class photo of them in their first year at A Medical University, with all the students of the eight-year clinical program wearing military green training uniforms.

At that time, they were in military training, and the two enemies were forced to stand together in front of the camera, pretending to smile. They looked heroic, but upon closer inspection, their arms disappeared where they were pressed against each other.

But Shen Fangyu remembers that until the moment the photo was taken, he and Jiang Xu’s hidden hands were fighting behind their backs.

Then there was the group photo of the class swearing in for the first time in white coats, with the solemn medical student oath engraved on the dark stone monument, and the young students in their white coats looking full of vitality.

When Shen Fangyu saw that photo, he recalled how Jiang Xu and his friends walked past him laughing, and the wind lifted the corners of Jiang Xu’s white coat, accentuating his well-proportioned and slender figure.

That was Jiang Xu, the youth who couldn’t yet be called a doctor yet. Shen Fangyu didn’t expect to remember how Jiang Xu looked the first time he was in a white coat after wearing it for over ten years.

The PPT continued to play, showing photos of them together at the freshman basketball game, holding the first place trophy in matching basketball uniforms, but unwilling to look at each.

Photos of the awards ceremony for the debate competition, the hall where scholarships were awarded, and the group photo of volunteers from the Women’s Rights and Equity Association.

After the graduation ceremony, the two outstanding graduates in red doctoral gowns stood on either side of the president for a photo, looking like newlyweds receiving blessings.

In the graduation photo that symbolizes the end of their student days, they still stood together, just like eight years ago, reluctant to give uo due to the stalemate.

After that, the boys in the PPT entered the affiliated Jihua Hospital of A Medical University, from resident physicians to attending physicians, and then to associate chief physicians, time and time again, always neatly lined up on the physician introduction board in the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department.

In every photo, he smiles brightly, sunny and confident, like the sun at one o’clock in the afternoon.

Memory is a mysterious thing. Many things that you thought you had forgotten come back to you in fragments when you see a photo.

There wasn’t a single group photo missing and who knows how much effort Jiang Xu put into collecting these photos from all over the place.

And among all the photos, only two were not labeled with the source.

–Because Jiang Xu took them himself.

One photo showed them sitting on the bay window in Jiang Xu’s study.

The other was not a group photo.

The PPT presentation screen, which was previously filled with people, suddenly thinned out, leaving only one person on the screen.

Professor Shen, dressed in a black suit, was calm and elegant at the academic conference.

Then the music slowly faded, and Jiang Xu’s fingers, which have been in Shen Fangyu’s hand, suddenly moved down, clasping the latter’s five fingers.

Shen Fangyu didn’t have time to look down at the hands that were clasped together, and the first line of words finally appeared on the PPT that had only been showing images.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” (This was in English)

With a “thud”, like a stone thrown into a pond, Shen Fangyu’s heart skipped a beat, followed by a lingering tremor that couldn’t be calmed.

This was the second time Jiang Xu had mentioned his feelings, and he had confessed even before.

Originally, Shen Fangyu had thought that Jiang Xu was just being competitive when he casually said it. But today, he finally believed that Jiang Xu really liked him.

He even secretly took pictures of his confident appearance.

He would say that he was like a summer day?

Jiang Xu was a very implicit person in his words, and Shen Fangyu knew that this was the most sincere confession he could give.

His heart inexplicably became sour, with indescribable emotions crashing against his chest, making his eyelashes tremble slightly.

The words did not stay on the PPT for too long, and the screen dimmed along with the appearance of the words. But Jiang Xu’s voice came to his ears, “Dr Kenn is an excellent doctor, but I although I believe in him, I don’t trust him.”

The wind was close, and the window curtains were light.

Jiang Xu’s eyes reflected Shen Fangyu, and before kissing his lover, he softly answered the question Shen Fangyu had asked him before playing the PPT, “As long as you think you can do it, Xiaoxiao and I will always trust you.”

Love is a miraculous thing. It can make passive people become proactive, and it can also make outgoing people feel insecure.

But in the end, a good relationship will definitely allow butterflies to break out of their cocoons, allow phoenixes to be reborn, and make the people in it believe that they are the best.

Finally, Dr. Shen could no longer contain his emotions. During the long and affectionate kiss, he once again promised Jiang Xu, “I promise, I can.”