Chapter 49 49: Trial Of The Heart [2]



He felt delighted his father was right there! His breath... posture, and even the annoying narcissism were present! This wasn't an illusion! It wasn't imaginary! It wasn't even some sort of game! It was goddamn real to him!

"Ah... well, honestly, I don't know, am I your dad? The ghost of your dad... maybe the memories in your heart, but there's only one constant thing."

"Oh, what is that?"

His father looked at him intently before giving a warm smile.

"You grew into a fine man Alistair; sorry I couldn't be there for you." 

His words were so strange; his chest felt tight; Raven choked on his words, trying to reply while tears ran down his face again. He knew something wasn't right here; this wasn't supposed to happen this way! If it were an illusion or hallucination meant to torture him for eternity...

'I never want to wake up....'

"Dad..."

"Don't blame your mother; she wanted to save that girl no matter what..."

"Dad....."

"Make sure you don't make that Philis girl cry; she's infertile... your mother worried about telling you..."

"Eh!? Philis is infertile!?" Raven let out a loud voice. Was this just an illusion? He never heard anything like this before. How could it be a dream if it was something he didn't know or experience?

"Ah, your mother made her promise never to tell you... For some reason, your mom liked that girl... Maybe it's because her grandmother used to be her drinking partner... Oh... but never call your mother old, okay.... she will beat you up, even if it's the cute Alice.!"

The shadow within Raven had melted away like ice melting in fire flame. The warmth within him instantly became ice cold as this new revelation hit him like lightning.

"Raven..."

"This is too much information... how can I trust the illusion of these very gates? What if you are lying? Am I supposed to go up to her and ask this shit? Dad!" 

"Heh... Alistair, you never change, despite doubting and being so smart... Why do you never notice that you decided right from the start? You don't care if I'm a ghost, spirit, memory, illusion or some trapped soul from the dungeon. If you truly doubted me so far, why are you crying and calling me dad just like you did back then?"

'Why is he always like this...'

"Did you forget who knew you learned to wash the laundry to hide you pissing the bed?" 

"!!!!"

The two men moved closer as his father smiled wryly, mocking Raven. He looked at the tiny man, his idol growing up; there was a reason the Gate chose his father, not his mother. Raven knew his mother was extraordinary, like a pillow that absorbed all his worries and fears. But Raven's father was different.

Suddenly his feelings began to pour from his chest like a gate was torn open, Raven's hands turning the small handle as he began to scream his heartfelt feelings towards his father.

'He was my pillar.'

"You were always there when I needed you and failed!" His words were spoken twice, once as the younger Raven and the other his adult voice.

'The path I sought to follow...'

"Your back was supposed to guide me forward!"

'My idol.'

"I still idolise you; each day, I play your voice singing the Pianist's Lament! to never forget how you sound!"

'The image of a perfect man...'

"I believed you were the strongest! That if anyone could do it, you could!"

'He was my dad!'

"I miss you so much, Dad; why did you suddenly leave me alone!?"

For every word and thought Raven felt and shouted, his body became hotter as if filled with a raging flame; his body felt more powerful, the beating of his heart thudding so loud that it echoed throughout the room, but with each moment, his father's image became faint, slowly fading as if he was going to vanish.

He felt betrayed by this power as he babbled, even more so than before. It felt too real! It wasn't an illusion or some form of deception! It was fucking real! It felt too real!

"Dad, don't leave.... we can still talk!!" Raven howled, the man's reflection showing a bitter smile as he stepped forward, the steps so light they were almost silent.

"Idiot... if you want to speak, I'll always listen... Why are you so emotional... just like your mother... haha...."

"Please... don't make light of me; I have so many questions... so many things I want your guidance and help with... Am I doing a good job?" 

"Is it okay for me to continue like this?"

"Can I keep loving several women...?"

"Will you forgive me if I move on with my life?" He didn't feel safe no matter how much he begged; he only wanted to hear what he wanted to hear! He had no fucking clue what happened after they died! he couldn't even listen to their voices anymore!

"Fool... Of course, you're doing fine. You're my son!" 

Two powerful arms wrapped around his back, the small man so influential, his aura covering Raven's huge body so quickly, as he pulled him into a tight embrace that drove all other thoughts from him.

Raven suddenly felt warm despite being surrounded by frosty air; it felt pure and purer than any ecstasy! He felt safe! As if all worries were washed away by two powerful arms holding him close like a child again.

"Raven... that's your name now? You love me and your mother too much... Don't you realise we want you to be happy?"

"Make light of you? Such a silly boy, all grown up, and you don't even realise it..." 

"Alistair... You are my pride, the one thing I can hold my hand to my chest and swear. Ah, this boy is the best thing that happened in my life!"

"Continue how you wish if you want a harem of 1,000 beautiful women! Make them fall; Dad's got your back!"

"If they love you, why not accept them? I could only love your mother, but you're different right?"

"Philis, you still love her and want to be with her despite everything, then take her back."

"Emily... well, never expected she would become your lover... Try not to make her upset and get stabbed.... haha!"

"Lilith and Miriam? Why not love them... Who cares about their past, their race or bloodline?"

His father's hands wrapped around his cheeks as he slammed his head against him.

"If you fall, I'll help you stand; if you fail, I'll clean up your mess; if you cry, I'll wipe your tears. If you miss me...."

His finger pointed to Raven's heart, a wry smile.

"I'm always here."

"Idiot... Dad, this is why Mom always calls you stupid; why are you so corny, like in those dumb movies? Hahahahahaha! Dad... I'm going to do it! I'll make any woman that loves me happy! I swear to you. Our oath as father and son! So please keep your eyes on me, wherever you are! One day, I'll come to find you and tell you everything in person!"

As Raven felt tears pour from his eyes again and again while still being held by his father's arms tightly against him, he could only nod along while watching the figure of his father fade away until nothing remained but an empty room where he stood alone with no recollection of what had transpired in this.

Clack!

The first bar of the Second Gate finally cracked, with only 9 remaining. While Raven's body knelt in the darkness, his hair covering his face. Raven's body began to leave the unique black world, returning to reality slowly.

In the dark shadows of the second Gate, his father stood watching as he left. 

"Mor'Grana... why did you leave the embarrassing bits to me?" 

"Fufu~ darling, did you see our little Alice? He's grown so much..."

"Do you think he will be able to..." 

"He already knows, darling... That's why he made that oath... Because he realised, we are still inside the dungeon."

"To think we're already grandparents, though..."

"Eh!?" His father's voice echoed in the silent void as their bodies became ethereal, like when a monster was about to respawn, wrapped in shadows that danced around them as they vanished without a trace.

"You're just as slow as Alice... how could you not notice that girl was pregnant just seeing his memories?"