Chapter 113: Ones greatest fear
So... I'm seventeen now.
Funny thing— today, happens to be 'Noah's' birthday.
Uncle Ethan called me up to remind me.
"Well happy birthday to Noah Grey of this world...wherever you are? I guess?"
But besides that, there was another matter I wanted to discuss with uncle Ethan.
Sooner or later, he's bound to discover the truth about Master Seraphina, so I felt this lingering urge to come clean about my business ventures and all that jazz.
But... I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I made a promise to myself that I would address the issue with him, but at the same time, I didn't really want to.
Turns out, Master Seraphina somehow already knew about my birthday.
I explicitly mentioned to her that I had zero interest in any birthday celebrations, and surprisingly, she respected my wishes.
Part of me secretly hoped she would go against my wishes and throw a surprise bash for me... But I suppose it's for the best that she didn't.
But, that didn't stop her from presenting me with a gift in the end.
"A hand glove?" I asked, confused by the peculiar black hand glove that Seraphina gave me.
"It's a relic. Platinum grade one."
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Platinum grade relics were unbelievably valuable and incredibly rare to come by.
My eyes couldn't help but tremble...'Why did she...for me?'
She told me that she was doing it for herself.
The main gig with this hand glove was that it had the power to mess with people's understanding of my mana core.
But, that's not all.
This relic had some extra bells and whistles. It could rev up my magic attacks and make it a breeze to caste bindrunes.
It even came equipped with its very own spell.
"Once again, Happy Birthday, Noah," she said, flashing me one of her soft smiles—the once that I kinda missed... Ahem.
Damn, my heart was seriously melting with warmth at her gesture.
Thankfully, only Master and Svetlana were in on the whole birthday deal.
It seemed like the secret was sealed between just the two of them.
And as per my request, no celebrations were held.
Svetlana surprised me with a gift as well—a unique garment that resembled a trench coat or an overcoat, but with a soft and lightweight fabric that extended below the knees. It lacked rigid structure, but was incredibly comfortable.
Turns out, it was also a relic, a rare ranked at that.
I was beginning to believe that rich people only wear relics for cloths or something.
According to her own words, the coat suits me... makes me 'more cool looking' or something.
Well, not to be narcissistic but I think I already look pretty cool...I mean have Solaris Amulet— it didn't just increase my charm stats, it also gave me certain charisma.
I personally didn't care much about birthdays but that day...I enjoyed whatever little celebration was held.
Technically, getting one platinum ranked relic and one rare ranked relic, can't be said to be a 'little' celebration.
***
It has been a few days after my birthday and I was about to return to academy in a week.
In the meantime, Svetlana dipped and left for Arcanum. I guess she's got her own life now...
Pop culture, movies, documentaries, books, tablets, monuments, stories, dogmas, ideologies, philosophies, superstitions, art, tales and the whispers of the society—all these, in one way or another, have painted death as synonym of fear.
The strands of fear meets the beginning of death, stitching together into our mind and the fabric of our existence.
We often fear that which we have never experienced—the unknown. It wouldn't matter if it was a lie, even a lie would be truth if said enough times.
Well, as strange it may sound, death is not what I fear. I have lived with death my whole life. It was always there.
I knew death more than I knew life.
But if not death, then what? Then what... then what...do I fear?
For a very brief moment, a very disgusting image began to take shape in the recess of my mind. An ugly image which looked eerily similar to the silhouette a human, but covered in pitch-black darkness. It's eyes all white, it's hands thin and long, it's nails sharp, like daggers.
Without even realizing, I gulped.
No, that's not it...its just a dream.
I shook my head and thought about it again.
If not death than what...pain?
Yes, pain.
Who in their right mind would enjoy pain? It's an unwelcomed visitor that creeps into our lives.
Pain is a part of us. It's woven into the fabric of our very being. It's the price we pay for simply being born.
Many years ago, I used to think that perhaps giving birth, is the biggest sin one can do.
Perhaps creation is the biggest sin of all. A life nurtured by death.
Pain is suffering. Longingness is pain. Mercy is cruelty. And end is, the beginning, just like how death gives birth to life and how life eventually circles back to death.
During my life, whenever I had painful episodes, sleep was the only solace.
So sleep is good.
But let's flip the coin, is death bad?
It's the end of all suffering so in that viewpoint, death is better.
But of course best would be to have never been born at all.
Lost in my thoughts, I closed my eyes, shutting out the distractions of the world. I sought an answer to her question.
Slowly, the world around me faded into darkness, and the only sounds I heard were the echoes of memories.
-"He doesn't have much time left. Maybe two years, if we're lucky."
-"It's astonishing. How does he...makes no sense. How is he still breathing?"
-"I miss him too and it hurts alot."
-"Grandfather Hope."
-"These are nano machines. Something we can use to survive in this god forsaken world."
-"How long was I unconscious?"
-Serial number: 01Z-619. Activating
the 1st generation of Nanoma...
-The hell is happening ! I can hear some voice in my head...
- "Noah! Where are you?!"
-'Is this... the end? This is how I die?'
"Noah?" Seraphina's voice took me out before my mind could reach the darkest place of my heart.
I turned to her, my gaze meeting hers, "I suppose my greatest fear... lies in losing the place I call home."
In that briefest of instances, a fleeting expression of profound pity flashed across Seraphina's eyes before dissipating, leaving no trace.
"And what lengths would you go to reclaim that lost home of yours?" she asked with an unusual calmness in her voice.
In a heartbeat, I replied, "Anything."