CH 327

Chapter 327 – Winter King (Rex Hyemis) (15)

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Barbatos left surprisingly easily.

“A regent shouldn’t be playing around, right?”, was what the person in question stated.

It sounded like a reasonable excuse, but it wasn’t the whole truth. She left early in consideration of me since I was a patient. However, Barbatos wasn’t someone to say that out loud; that was what I loved about her.

If I ever get married, wouldn’t it be good to marry someone like Barbatos? I tried drawing a married life in my mind. It came to form rather easily.

Even if we had a kid, Barbatos definitely wouldn’t raise them herself. She’d hand off the job to someone else since she would find it to be bothersome. It was obvious.

I would have no other choice but to raise the child myself, but the people around me would try to stop me. “I don’t know about other people, but we cannot leave the child’s education to you!”, is what they would say unanimously. I would shout at them asking what was so bad about me raising my own child, but no one would listen to me…….

Then who would raise the child? I’m not sure, but it would probably end up in a system where several people raise the child together.

Laura, who has the least to do and often acts jobless, would play with the child. Lapis, Daisy, and Ivar would sometimes come around after they finish their work.

After the kid’s head had grown a bit, they would start following Jeremi around. They’ll develop into a ridiculously mischievous child and flip our Demon Lord territory over on its head. Ivar would shout, ‘Young master, young master!’, but it would have no effect whatsoever.

Rather than try to stop her child, Barbatos would cackle and praise the child instead. I would be next to her letting out sighs.

What a beautiful dream. Demon Lords can’t have children, so this was nothing but a fantasy. Even so, I still felt a smile creep up on my face…… I wonder why?

People figure out what’s impossible for them as they grow up.

I can’t be a hero, a revolutionist, or an artist. My path becomes clearer as time goes by. For example, I may not be able to become a leading ruler, but I can become someone who incites, cajoles, and affronts the people.

Dantalian is someone who incites, cajoles, and affronts.

Whether I wanted it to be or not, that was my identity. There was no reason for me to be sad about it either. In the first place, it’s not like I was born because I wanted to be. My life solidifying in an unwanted direction is also natural…….

However, there is a small minority of people who fall into a weird train of thought.

They don’t try to find their ‘identity’ within themselves. They look somewhere else. As if they believe that their identity exists somewhere far on the vast horizon.

People attach all sorts of names to that unseeable horizon.

For example, humanity.

The nation.

The world.

I can cajole and affront other people. I can do these things as much as I want. However, would it be fine for humanity itself to do something like that? Was that something a good world would do?

Deceiving, murdering, and raping others—was that truly the right image for the world?

Should it be left alone?

This minority of people quietly voice their disapproval.

It’s fine if I’m a humble person or even a selfish person. However, humanity should not be that way. Regardless of how selfish and vile my current self may be, the future must approach and humanity’s image must be the opposite of those things.

These people stare straight at their humbleness and say ‘no’ at the same time.

Whenever this group of mental patients find themselves in a problematic situation, they ask themselves, ‘What should humanity do?’ instead of asking, ‘What should I do?’.

When a slaughter unfolds before them, they respond by saying ‘I have to run away,’ and ‘Humanity will not forgive this,’ at the same time. They then make the latter statement into their actual response.

They were psychopaths.

They preach about something nonexistent like humanity and the world as a whole and act as if they’re real. They even go as far as to act as if that’s their identity. What else could this possibly be except the delusions of the insane?

There is a morbid beauty to this. Out of every sickness that exists, people have had this disease since the dawn of time…….

“Dantalian.”

I opened my eyes to see a pure white space spread out endlessly before me.

Did I fall asleep? I knew that I was in a dream since I had been invited here once before as well.

“……Paimon.”

There was a faint smile on the scarlet-haired woman.

“I apologize if I brought you here despite your exhaustion.”

“It is fine. I felt like I slept enough for a lifetime during these past ten days.”

I shrugged.

“I will get the remainder of my sleep later on when I am in my grave.”

“…….”

Huh? I threw that comment out as a joke, but Paimon’s expression became dark. She looked sad but also resentful at something.

“The Republic of Batavia’s trust has plummeted, the Habsburg Republic has been pushed into a corner, and Frankia’s new government does not have enough power to unite the continent. There is no longer any faction left that is capable of leading republicans. ……Just as you desired, Dantalian.”

“…….”

“Why did you do it?”

The edges of Paimon’s eyes became wet.

“I simply wanted peace. I simply wanted to see that cliched word come to fruition……. You should know this better than anyone else, but why……?”

Her voice and face were both a mess.

Thus she was more forthright than any other tone or expression she could make, and I had no choice but to receive her arrowhead-like emotions entirely.

“Did you really have to go as far as to hurt yourself……? I, I did not wish for you to get hurt……!”

“The same goes for me, Paimon.”

I quietly walked to her.

“I do not wish to see you get hurt. I do not wish to see you and Barbatos kill each other. That is why…….”

“Do not approach me!”

I stopped in my tracks.

“You are shameless and selfish! You act as if you do not know anything even though you know everything……. Why will you not disregard the death of a woman like myself when you had already forced the deaths of tens of thousands? It should be fine for you to let this lady die however she pleases……to foolishly fall into ruin……!”

Only the sound of crying could be heard for a moment.

I couldn’t approach or say something to her.

I wonder how Paimon must have felt when she heard that I had injured myself. Paimon is a lofty person with a delicate heart. She was most likely in anguish. The fact that I had harmed myself probably made her suffer more than knowing that her plan had fallen apart.

Even though I knew that Paimon would suffer, no, I stabbed myself because I knew that Paimon would suffer. In order to make her feel guilty and make her voluntarily abandon her plan of dividing the Demon Lord Army. 

I am this kind of person. 

Someone who mocks and ridicules the trust of others.

“…….”

I silently pulled out a dagger from my side. I realized this the last time I was here, but I appear in these dreams in the clothes I’m most familiar with. I always have a dagger on me at all times.

“……Dantalian?”

Did my action appear weird to her? Paimon looked at me with a tear-filled face.

I turned the pointed end of the dagger toward myself. To be more exact, I pointed it at my neck. Paimon’s eyes opened wide in shock as she raised her hand toward me.

“No!”

I stabbed the dagger into the center of my neck before Paimon’s fingers could reach me. I surprisingly felt barely any pain. It felt like my tongue got pushed up and my eyes had vanished.

I then woke up from the dream.

The pure white space was gone. I was back in the room where my real body was resting. I stroked my hand over my neck as I struggled to push myself out of bed. 

I had been bedridden for more than ten days straight. It was a given that my body wouldn’t move exactly as I wanted it to. I practically had to throw myself on the ground in order to get out of bed. 

You shouldn’t be moving around yet, my body shouted these words at me. My body refused to stand up since I couldn’t get any strength in my knees. Fortunately, there was a decent object I could use as a cane nearby: the silver rod that was used to open and shut the curtains.

“Kuh…….”

I used the rod as a walking stick to push my body up partially. My limbs trembled, but this much was bearable. There was a time when my condition was worse than this. I could easily endure something of this degree.

I stumbled my way to the door. Succubi can only show dreams to people nearby. Her appearing in my dream meant that she was somewhere in this estate.

I tripped five times just trying to get from my bed to the door. It might’ve been easier to just crawl, but I felt like I would actually pass out if I laid down on the floor right now. I continued forward while holding on to my consciousness as desperately as possible.

And then, when I opened the door—.

I discovered Paimon sitting outside.

She looked like she didn’t know what to do. She was looking up at me blankly with her face that had become a mess due to her tears. Her pretty face was so contorted that I couldn’t help but laugh. Although, in reality, I only had the strength to raise the ends of my mouth ever so slightly.

I barely managed to squeeze out my words as I leaned on the makeshift cane.

“You……are a coward, Paimon.”

“…….”

“You were most likely afraid to meet me in person. How should I apologize? What kind of face should I have when I meet him……? It was because you couldn’t figure this out that you came to me in my dream. Seriously, you are such a ridiculous coward…….”

I knew that she wasn’t an idealist by nature.

If she were truly an idealist, then she would’ve forced her beliefs on others constantly. Back at Bruno Plains, she even went as far as to lose her magic power in order to save me. Why? Why would she do such absurd things?

“You do not want to sacrifice anyone……. Be it demons or even me……. That is why you decided to get rid of yourself. Another Demon Lord for the world to be rid of.”

“…….”

“War happens because the selfish existences known as Demon Lords exist……. That is why you decided to sacrifice yourself. Because you did not want anyone to get hurt…… you had no other choice but to hurt yourself.”

There was no way of knowing whether her obsession came from being born a succubus, or if it was a disposition that Paimon had innately.

“You have to stir up trouble before the Plains Faction can become stronger in fifty years……? That is all fair and good, but you most likely did not believe that you could win. It is obvious that every Demon Lord except for you would unite. Could you win against them all?”

“I-I…….”

“You probably figured it would be fine to lose. If you lose, then you could fall by yourself. This was your rationale.”

It was the same back during the Crescent Alliance War.

If I were in Paimon’s shoes, then I absolutely would not have given Barbatos any breathing space. I would’ve pincered her after allying with Elizabeth. Making up a cause was more than easy.

Despite this, she gave Barbatos several days to consider surrendering. In the past, I thought that this was because Paimon was overconfident and certain of her victory.

However, I now know that that wasn’t the reason. She simply did not have the guts to push her ideals onto others……. Even though she knew that a slaughter was necessary, she couldn’t commit one. The reason was simple. It was because she wasn’t absolutely certain whether she was right or not.

It was probably the same back in the original game scenario as well. Even though she had the chance to kill the hero, she missed it. Why? Because she found out that the hero was a virtuous person. Even though she knew that she had to kill the hero for the sake of demonkind, in the end, she chose to end her own life.

Paimon, you are too considerate to dye the continent in blood.

“If I am wrong, then kill me where I stand.”

I stared straight into her eyes.

“I can guarantee you that I will continue to obstruct your path. I am your biggest obstacle……. Prove to me whether you have the confidence to realize your ideal even if it means you have to kill me!”

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TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. My suffering is almost over. The Chinese project is officially over (sort of) after today. The only remaining work to be done is when the client messages us to ask questions about translations and asks for fixes. Other than that, the virus scanning work also got wrapped up, so now I’m back to translating a dialogue script for a game. This is so much better since it’s very close to what I’ve been doing here.

In any case, I’m very burnt out, but I gotta keep on going. I’ll see you guys in the next chapter.