Chapter 431: Pride of Existence (3)

Chapter 431: Pride of Existence (3)

“.......”

“You don’t need to look at me like I’m a pitiful creature. I told you that nothing is happening here.”

Something clung to my ankle. It felt like a damp and shadowy presence. If I looked down at my ankle, the sensation would surely vanish. But that would only be falling into a trap.

I personally called this a ticklish sensation. When my ankle itched and I scratched it, strangely enough, my waist would begin to itch. When I scratched my waist, my shoulder itched next. Just like that, if I let my gaze linger on those shadows, it would lead to an endless cycle.

Looking at my ankle, then my waist, and then my shoulder, while trying to chase those shadows away, I would inevitably find myself backed into a corner. Even though I couldn’t see anything, the sensations remained, pulling at my wrists, ankles, and back.

It felt as if insects were gnawing at my entire body.

Let me just say that it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

“You didn’t sleep with anyone after Paimon died.......”

Barbatos muttered, almost in a sob. No, it was a sob.

“I stupidly thought it was because you were tired of me.......”

“Indeed, I got tired of women. Of people.”

I took a deep drag from my pipe.

“It turns out that one’s sexual desire also disappears when you grow tired of people. I never knew it could feel this good to be free from desire. It feels like being a prostitute who successfully escaped from a vicious pimp.”

“It’s because you keep hallucinating that Paimon is here......!”

I silently pulled out a handkerchief. I accidentally grabbed a red one, but I put it back and took a white one out instead. I then approached Barbatos and wiped her tear-streaked face.

“That woman...... she really ruined you......! Damn it! I knew this would happen! I knew this would happen long ago, and yet I stupidly hesitated......! I should have just killed her without talking to you first!”

“Stop crying.”

“Where is she? Is she clinging to me? Does her image overlap with every woman you see? Ahh, Dantalian, you idiot...... you stupid bastard.......”

I shook my head.

“It’s fine. I can see your face perfectly well.”

Thankfully, things weren’t as terrible as Barbatos thought. If Paimon really clung to every woman I saw like some kind of vengeful spirit, I wouldn’t have been able to even look a woman in the eye.

It was quite the opposite.

“So, let’s talk business now.”

Paimon was behind me.

With her right arm around my chest and her left around my waist.

Her chin rested on my right shoulder, and her whispering voice flowed directly into my ear. Like a broken music box, she repeated, over and over, the last words she had left behind. Sporadically. Like she was breathing.

Something damp was continuously dripping down my shoulder and chest. It was probably blood. In a way, it was just like a more intense kind of tickle.

“Don’t kill me, Dantalian...” “.......” “You can’t kill me. Please. Instead, lock me away in the prison of Permafrost forever. If I appear to you as a dead figure, it will truly be the end....... You know better than anyone else that you could never endure that.......”

Such foolish words.

Imprisoning a powerful Demon Lord like Barbatos in Permafrost carried too much risk. There were plenty in the demon world who worshipped Barbatos. Even if her crime of assassinating Paimon were fully exposed, a handful of demons would surely try to free her.

It was the obvious judgment.

Rationally speaking, it wasn’t a burden I could possibly bear.

Did she sense the hopelessness in my expression? Barbatos burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Run away with me instead......!”

You acted with more cruelty than anyone, yet you became excessively gentle towards the one you gave your heart to. That was your flaw. As a king, you should be equal to all. You must judge not only your lovers but ultimately yourself with the same fairness.

Those who cannot do this are nothing more than tyrants, and Barbatos, you were truly the kindest tyrant in the world.

“Everything remains.”

I was rather grateful for the hallucinations. After all, are they not preventing me from losing my sanity?

Those illusions thoroughly blocked me from descending into madness, from forgetting everything I had done, from becoming a pathetic, insane old man.

As Jack cursed, Hawk howled, and Paimon whispered, my mind became clearer, and my reason sharpened. I’m able to completely block out any distractions, such as the temptation Barbatos had just offered.

Of course, depending on the perspective, I might’ve been seen as mad. But everyone has a certain degree of insanity within them. The issue wasn’t whether one was sane or insane—it was whether one succumbed to that madness.

“Don’t worry, Barbatos. At the execution in two days, I will be the one holding the blade. There is no way I’d pass that responsibility to someone else. I’ll carry it out without any chance for excuses.”

“.......”

“Let’s all take responsibility until the very end.”

I turned away.

The eyes of the corpses watching me shifted in accordance with my gaze. I walked towards the prison door as I listened to the sound of Barbatos sobbing behind me.

“Dantalian, no...... don’t go...... please, Dantalian.......”

It felt like a cry drowned in tears.

I slammed the iron door shut, causing the metallic clang to echo through the prison corridor for a while. Daisy was waiting quietly for me in the narrow hallway.

“.......”

I didn’t like the expression on Daisy’s face. She had a look in her eyes that resembled Barbatos’ emotions. Since I didn’t like it, I slapped Daisy’s left cheek. Annoyingly, she only turned her head slightly in response.

“I have to meet with the remaining Plains Faction Demon Lords one by one from now on. What are you looking at me with that dazed expression for? Lead the way, you fool.”

“Just one thing.”

Daisy muttered.

“Just tell me one thing, Father.”

Her black eyes stared straight at me.

“Are the people from my village—the ones you killed—also visible to you?”

“Oh yes. I see them quite well. Their eyeballs are being eaten away, and their mouths are cursing at me while pierced with spears. Are you satisfied now?”

I curled the corners of my mouth upward.

“Do you feel sympathy for me now? Did this revelation give you the desire to forgive me? If so, then that just means your conviction is only at that level. It’s a big mistake if you think you have the right to forgive their deaths.”

I walked down the corridor, dragging my mantle behind me. As I listened to the sound of my footsteps mix together with another muttering, I continued moving forward. Perhaps because I had briefly acknowledged the shadows, they were being particularly loud today.

But it didn’t matter.

I was here.

***

TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. I’m not sure why but my mind feels like it blanked out. Like I released the last chapter and everything since then has been a blur. I feel like I’m trying to do too many things at the same time. There are so many games I want to play, but I barely have enough time after work to properly play them. I decided to run an FC in FFXIV, so trying to hold regular events for that and managing a group of people also takes up a bunch of time. Can someone increase the amount of hours in a day so I can do more stuff after work? Or better yet, increase weekends to be 3 days off.

PLEASE.

I’ll see you guys in the next chapter.