Chapter 33: Past Pains

Chapter 33: Past Pains

Misa hadn't actually spawned very far away, and it took only a minute or so of walking for her to reach the walls of her village. She felt her heart tightening as she approached there were guards stationed near the gates of the village. Those guards had been the first ones to...

"Name and purpose, miss?" a guard asked as she approached. Misa recognized him immediately; it was V'karro. How strange was it that she'd remembered him not too long ago, and now she was seeing him again? The old guard that had taught her about skills, once upon a time...

He'd probably saved the delvers' lives, even if he didn't know it. It was because of his training that she'd spotted anything at all.

For the first time in a long time, Misa reached back into her memories, trying to place what she remembered of him. He had always been kind to her. He'd always wanted a daughter, apparently, but he never really had the opportunity and while he wasn't a replacement for her father, he'd always been like an uncle to her.

V'karro now was as kind as she remembered. Most guards were more suspicious of people they regarded as newcomers. What made her hesitate was the fact that she didn't know whether or not he would recognize her, and she didn't know which one she preferred.

She'd been so much younger when this had happened.

"...It's me. Misa," she eventually replied, her voice rougher than she intended. Part of her wanted to pretend like everything was normal but she couldn't. She couldn't stop remembering that very same face, covered in blood, stiff after death had taken him.

She tried to wipe the thought away. She wouldn't let it happen again. But V'karro saw the change in her eyes, she was sure; the guard's eyes softened a little more as he studied her.

There was something that might have been a flicker of recognition, but it seemed to disappear almost as soon as it appeared.

"...I'm afraid I don't know anyone by that name, miss," V'karro said apologetically.

Misa took a deep breath. She didn't know what she'd expected from the dungeon, and didn't know if it was worse or better that the orc didn't know who she was. "Sorry," she said. "I must've mistaken you for someone else. If you're not him, then you must be V'karro, right?"

"That's right," V'karro grinned at her; part of him seemed relieved that the apparent distress in her eyes had faded. "You've heard of me?"

"You could say that," Misa said with a chuckle. She didn't know how he could possibly expect anyone outside their little village to know who he was. They were in too remote a place, their adventurers barely strong enough to keep their village stable and connected to the system. But she saw the way he brightened at the thought that his antics might have spread some ways outside the village, and she didn't want to take that away from him. "That's not important, though. Can you bring me to talk to Orkas? It's important."

"The village head?" V'karro asked, raising an eyebrow, and shrugged when she gave a determined nod in response. "Well, if you're sure. He's been a bit grumpy lately, though, so you best be careful."

"I think I know how to handle him," Misa said with a light chuckle.

Her heart still ached. But a part of her was looking forward to seeing her father again.

Misa had spent so many years thinking about what she could have done differently what everyone could have done differently. This was her chance to put it all into action.

The only wrench in her plans was that if the village didn't remember her, it'd be far harder to convince them to listen to her. They were all rather stubborn. So, first things first, she needed to convince the man whose word the entire village trusted.

Fuck not talking about it. Misa had no idea if this was the right thing to do, but it was too late; the words were already spilling out of her mouth.

"All of this already happened, three goddamn years ago, and I couldn't do shit to protect it! Do you want to know how I felt when I woke up surrounded by the corpses of everyone I ever loved? Uncle V'karro's body was right next to me! You were dead in the fucking doorway, a pile of monster corpses in front of you! You killed every last shit that tried to get into our house and you died doing it, and it still wasn't fucking enough because mom was dead anyway! And now this stupid dungeon is making me relive this shitty fucking day, and I just want to fix it, and you won't fucking listen!"

Misa's chest was heaving. Her eyes were wet; she couldn't see her father's expression clearly through the film of tears in her eyes. She hated the fact that she was crying again, but she didn't know what she'd expected coming face to face again with all these long-dead souls, looking and sounding exactly like the people she'd known for most of her life...

There was a long silence, broken up only by the sound of Misa's shuddering breaths.

"...I thought it was strange that your name was Misa," her father said softly, his tone suddenly quiet. The hostility was gone, replaced by a strange sort of distant pain. "That was what we wanted to name our daughter."

Misa didn't answer. She tried to get her breathing under control so she could, taking slow, shaky breaths. There was a dim realization that her father was saying something important, and she took it in slowly, wrestling her own emotions under control as he spoke.

"She was stillborn," Orkas continued. He didn't look at Misa. Instead, he stared into the distance, painful memories reflecting in his eyes. "Charise was never really the same after that."

Charise. Her mother. Misa was quiet for another moment as her breath steadied, and Orkas seemed willing to give her all the time she needed to calm down. When she did, she spoke with a quiet voice.

"How is she?"

"As fine as she can be." Orkas shook his head. "Some days are better than others. When you... when our child died, she would not stop saying that the world was wrong. That this was not supposed to happen. I thought it was mere denial; that she was speaking with the grief of a mother... and yet now you're here, telling me a story much along those same lines.

"And today, of all days, she woke, and told me that things would be better today. That the world was right again. I did not know what she meant, and I did not want to believe, when I first heard your name..."

Orkas' eyes hardened. "You understand, of course, that if you are lying about this, there will be consequences."

Misa nodded slowly. "...I wish I was," she said softly.

Orkas nodded. He stood abruptly, brushing his cloak to the side as he stepped around the table. "Daughter," he said, as if tasting the word. He placed a hand on Misa's shoulder. "...I wish I could be more of a father to you. But some truths are difficult for the heart to accept, and even if I completely believed you, I do not know you. This version of me never saw your childhood, was never able to help you grow nor make the mistakes that I am certain that I made.

"You claim this to be a simulation by a dungeon. I can only say that it does not feel that I am a mere simulation. Whatever this dungeon has done... Perhaps it is cruel, to give us both a glimpse of what could have been. Or perhaps it believes it is being kind. I cannot say.

"But for what it is worth..." Orkas' voice grew briefly rough, though he was facing away from Misa and would not meet her eyes. "I am looking forward to seeing who my daughter could have been."

Misa swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat. She would not cry a third time. Instead, she nodded, and Orkas gestured for her to follow.

"Come. I will prepare the village, and set up the traps as you outlined. But you should meet your mother."