95 - Book 2: Chapter 32: Catharsis

95 - Book 2: Chapter 32: Catharsis

They were back in the caravan, Derivan and Vex seated across from Sev and Misa as it chugged along the road. They'd given breaking through the barrier into Fendal a few more tries, but every attempt they made simply failed, and so they had decided it was time to move on.

Not before Anton had sent them an update through the glyph, though: Time dilation has been failing. Fendal and Teque now operate at a 1:2 dilation.

Which had been a relief. If nothing else, Teque wouldn't have months or years to prepare for them to return, which might have proven disastrous.

And so, with nothing else to talk about, Vex had taken a deep breath, and explained what had happened to him when he was only six; the forcing of mana into his body just to increase the stat, and all the trappings that followed. How his love for magic had been used against him; how he'd been shut away from others, so he couldn't know how different other childhoods were.

How pain didn't register to him on the same scale as anyone else, now.

There was a heavy silence after Vex was done. He hung his head slightly, feeling oddly ashamed not that he thought any of what his parents did was his fault, necessarily. He'd long gotten out of that mindset. And yet... the shame was still there. Maybe he did blame himself, if only subconsciously.

Sev was mostly quiet, though his apparent calm hid a certain amount of anger; Vex saw the way his fists were clenched.

Derivan's expression was more unreadable than it usually was, but the armor's hand was stilll gently clasped over his own. He had noticed Vex starting to tremble while telling his story, and slipped a hand into his in response. This time, there was no blush, no rush of anxiety and instinctive worry. Vex had seen it for what it was a small comfort that his friend felt he could provide. He had squeezed that hand back appreciatively, not knowing if Derivan could even really feel the pressure of his touch, and continued.

Misa's reaction was perhaps the most overt. She took a moment to gather her thoughts, still, but she was the first to speak after Vex was done. "I'm going to kill them," she said simply, and Vex felt a certain horror at the way she seemed entirely serious.

"Misa," Sev said quietly.

"What," Misa snapped once, rounding on the cleric, and then stopped when she saw the stricken expression on Vex's face; she sagged abruptly. "Fuck."

"This is why you mentioned kidnapping your brother," Derivan said; it wasn't a question, but Vex nodded anyway.

"He was three when I left," Vex said softly. He let himself get lost in the gentle reverberations of the caravan; it helped, the sensation of something smooth and rhythmic, pulling his mind away from the memories. "They start the process when you're six. I tried to get them to stop, to at least wait for him to grow older, or something, but..."

He trailed off, and let the gentle hum of the caravan take over. Misa was the first one to speak.

"Elyra just allows this?" she asked. "There's no fuckin' way they just allow this."

But the anger in her face said otherwise; she didn't believe what she was saying. She remembered just as well as Vex did, what had happened with the scientists back at the dungeon what had happened to Kestel, simply because he had tried to delay reporting back, worried about what would happen to the soldiers.

He still needed mana crystals to be cured. They hadn't had the chance to gather any; not yet. The hope was that they would get some while in Elyra's Prime Dungeon; hopefully enough to heal Kestel and more.

"Noble houses can do whatever they want," Vex said, shaking his head; Misa snorted, but she seemed like she had more or less expected his response. "It's... that's the core thing Elyra is founded on, or at least what they tell us. Anyone can become nobility, if they discover something important enough; nobility is awarded on merit, not blood. At least not entirely. And they don't ask that you share your secrets, only that the results of those secrets are used to benefit the Kingdom."

"That's..." Sev frowned, like he wanted to say something more, but eventually he sighed and shook his head; maybe he'd decided it wasn't worth saying. Instead he gave Vex a small, pained sort of smile - the kind of smile that wasn't really a smile at all, but was the best comfort he could offer. "Thank you for telling us, Vex," he said, and his words were genuine.

"And that one poor innkeeper."

"He was a fire elemental! He was fine! He ate the explosion!"

Vex was protesting, but he felt a little warmer than before, and he could tell his friends felt a little better, too. He'd been so afraid of telling them all this for so long not because he thought they would judge him, or because he was worried about what they would do. He just... hadn't wanted to revisit those memories.

But revisit those memories he had, and it turned out it wasn't quite as scary as he remembered, when he was doing it with his friends.

A few minutes later, the four of them untangled themselves to go back to their seats; as nice as the moment was, the wooden floor of the caravan just wasn't a pleasant place to be spending their time. It jostled and jerked with every movement in a way that the seats didn't, magically stabilized against the walls as they were.

"Now you know why I'm nervous about going back to Elyra," Vex said, trying to smile, although he thought he mostly failed; if he did, no one acknowledged it.

"If your parents try anything, I'll beat their skulls in," Misa said bluntly. "I have a mace for a reason."

"Please don't," Sev sighed. "Not unless Vex gives you permission."

"Thanks," Vex said, a little wryly. He appreciated the thought, at least. It was just... He had a hard time divorcing himself from the idea that his parents were kind, even now. He resented them for what they had done to him in his childhood, and would do to his brother, and yet...

There was that small voice in his head, telling him it could have been worse.

And it could have been, certainly. They could have been crueler, withheld even a single drop of kindness, forced it to go longer. They were themselves victims, after all, of the same treatment from their own parents.

But no. The choices they were making now were their own.

Vex leaned back in his seat and sighed.

The situation in Fendal wasn't gone from his mind, even with all of this; far from it. There was an air that hung around all four of them a little bit of tension that didn't quite go away, even in moments like these, because for all that they weren't done for all that they planned on finding a way back in, and on finding a solution

It still felt like they'd lost.

Because they had.

But losing didn't mean that things were over. Vex had learned that from this group of friends, too, the same way he'd learned how to care about his magic again. There was always something new to do; always another path to take.

"Hey, Derivan," Vex said, glancing at the armor. He tried to keep his voice casual; he didn't know why he felt so nervous. "Let's train a bit tomorrow? I want to see if glyphs still work out here. And maybe we can figure out how your new stat works, too."

"Of course," Derivan agreed easily, with that signature tilt of his head and shift in his eyes that signified a smile. "I look forward to it."