Chapter 129

He ran towards her. He dropped his sword and opened his arms towards her.

"Don't go!" His voice reeked of desperation. "Don't abandon me!"

He reached her and grabbed her with both of his arms. When he finally had her locked in his embrace, the feel of her familiar warmth gave him such a relief that it almost made him collapse to the ground.

He whispered the name that was his life, "Bina."

The woman turned around slowly to him and Lucretius saw it.

A single stream of tear from her eye.

"Bina?"

He then saw something unexpected on the ground nearby.

The unpleasant burning smell continued to haunt him. It was a small fire and in it were the clothes she brought from her world.

They were burning slowly into ashes.

After a long hesitation, Lucretius finally asked, "Why?"

"…"

Bina didn't answer. She instead turned her head to stare at the large gap, the gate, that continued to swallow the moonlight.

When her gaze reached it, Lucretius held her even tighter. He became fearful that she might escape his arms and run into the gate.

Just like the other black-haired woman a long time ago.

They stood like statues for a long time until the darkness of the night slowly disappeared. The blue light started to fill the forest. The moon was becoming faint as the morning approached.

With that, the gate was also slowly getting smaller and fainter. By this time, only the black ashes of Bina's old clothes remained.

The moon was gone completely, but the sun hadn't come up yet. It wasn't night anymore, but not quite morning either.

Bina finally opened her mouth.

"I couldn't do it."

"…"

He didn't know how to respond to her, but it didn't seem like she wanted an answer from him as she continued.

"I understand if you get angry, but to be honest, I never intended to go through the gate from the beginning anyway. The reason why I left that letter for you is… I admit I just wanted to see if you would come after me."

Her voice started to tremble, and Lucretius couldn't help but hold her even tighter.

"Bina."

"I am a selfish and annoyingly rational person, and that is why when I saw it with my own eyes, I couldn't jump through it."

A faint and small remnant of the gate remained in front of them.

Bina continued, "I don't think I will be able to go home safely through that gate… Only two out of six people arrived here alive…"

"…"

"So obviously I couldn't go through with it. I am a coward and there is no guarantee that the other side of this gate is my own world! I don't want to die! Yet…"

"…"

"I know logically it makes sense to live here forever rather than return home as a corpse, yet…"

She finally started to sob as the small dark gap finally disappeared completely.

"If I saw something through it, I might have done it."

Until the gate disappeared, the inside remained dark and unknown. Bina couldn't see her home inside the darkness.

"If I saw my home and my family inside the gap, I would have jumped into it without hesitation. Maybe… I still wouldn't do it because I knew I might die… Perhaps I wouldn't have had the courage to do it…" Bina continued to cry as she added, "I am a useless coward."

"Bina."

She roughly pulled away from him to face him.

She screamed through her tears, "I never had the courage to bet my life and jump into the gate, yet I still wanted you to go through the fear of losing me and come after me! I wouldn't leave, but I came here because I felt worried that you might not come after me. I wanted to make sure…"

"…"

Bina added, "As you can see, I am a coward… I am weak and selfish, and now you know… Even then… Can you still tell me that you love me?"

She screamed silently.

'Please tell me you do!'

'Make me believe you!'

Lucretius smiled and kissed her. He kissed her forehead, nose, and her lips tenderly.

"I am happy, Bina."

"What? Why?"

"Because you chose me, right? How could I not be happy?"

"No, that's not it. I just didn't have the courage. I was being a coward."

Lucretius shook his head. "I don't remember her name, but the other woman from your world did jump into the gate. Yet you are still here. You didn't leave."

"She had the courage, and I didn't."

Lucretius denied her logic with all his heart. If he didn't, then he would never have Bina completely. He needed to convince her.

"No, that woman couldn't find any reason to stay here. Even her husband and her child weren't enough to keep her here. That was why she jumped without hesitation and the man couldn't stop her."

Lucretius was guessing at this point. If those people heard what he was saying right now, they might get angry at how he misjudged them. However, Lucretius was sure of his judgment.

"…"

"You didn't jump. That is because you have something to live for in this world. You chose a life here and… there is nothing that would give me greater joy."

Lucretius hugged Bina again and whispered, "You have no idea how happy you made me and how thankful I am for you. You… you just gave me my life. You gave the world to me."

Fresh tears filled Bina's eyes when Lucretius emphasized his words as if to engrave them into her heart.

"So from now on, I will become your world."

She sobbed, but thankfully there was no one else in the forest to see them.

"I love you," Bina said to him for the first time.

It took a long time, but finally, she was home.

***

"Are you feeling better now?"

Lucretius asked me with clear adoration in his eyes. I supposed that even if he was angry at me, he wouldn't have shown it.

I nodded slowly.

This morning, I cried in his arms like I had never cried in my life. I cried more than that night of the ball when I first realized I could trust him.

Even though the rational side of me understood the logic of my decision to stay, I couldn't help having mixed feelings. At least until now, I always had a hope that I might be able to return home, but not anymore.

That was why I burnt the only things I had left from my home. It was my goodbye to my world. Goodbye to my sadness and love for my family. Goodbye to the life I might have had on earth.

A closure.

I pulled myself away from Lucretius. When the gate was still open, he was unwilling to let go of his arms, but now, he seemed more relaxed.

I got down to the ground and started to dig a hole with my hands beside the ashes of my clothes. After a brief hesitation, Lucretius did the same to help me.

Thankfully, the ground was soft. When a good-sized hole was made, I filled it with the ashes of my clothes and covered it.

It was like a funeral, just like they would have had for me on earth.

Lucretius asked, "Now that I think about it, if you started burning your clothes right away when you arrived here… They would have already turned into ashes by the time I found you."

"…"

I looked away.

"Did you by chance wait for me to come before you start burning them?"

"…"

I couldn't admit it since I was too embarrassed.

However, it was true. I threw the clothes into the fire only when I started hearing Lucretius crying out my name.

I knew my face was becoming red, so I stayed on the ground and continued to pat the small grave of my clothes.

Suddenly, Lucretius' hands covered my own. When I looked up, he was smiling widely at me. He pulled me up and kissed my dirt-covered hand without hesitation.

He then whispered, "I want to hear your answer now."

"What answer?"

Lucretius kneeled in front of me, just like he did at the royal tomb.

His voice sounded excited.

"I will propose to you again. Not as the emperor of Cransia, but as a man named Lucretius, to a woman named Bina."

"…"

His lips opened and the beautiful emotional words spilled out.

"Will you be my wife?"