CH 122

Shirley instinctively frowned as the staff member left the room after handing over the stack of letters.

People are heavily limited from traveling between the Empire and the Kingdom, but those restrictions do not extend to goods, imports, and exports. This continent has something known as the post office which was started by one of Canary’s descendants. It is willing to carry letters and parcels regardless of country or race, and it is capable of thoroughly checking if its deliveries are cursed items, explosives, or other dangerous materials that could prove harmful to the recipient.

Apparently the post office’s founder lived during a time of continental strife where assassination through mail deliveries was a common occurrence. As such the founder poured their research into detecting these dangerous goods without having to open the package itself. The post office has never delivered a single dangerous good since its founding as a result.

It is because of that trust that any time mail or goods are sent from the Empire to the Kingdom, it is required to travel through the post office. It doesn’t matter how at odds the two countries are, it is impossible to block all form of mail from traveling between them, so this was the natural compromise.

That is why it is not particularly strange that Emperor Albert would be able to send a letter to someone in the Kingdom……but why is it addressed to Shirley instead of the Kingdom’s king or at least another noble?

“I can somehow guess the reason”

More likely than not, this had something to do with him wanting her to hand over Sophie and Tio. He isn’t legally recognized as their father, and thankfully, the King and Queen did their part to keep it that way. The issue should have already been solved, and this is the first kind of missive that’s been sent since. 

“Hmm…….I’m a little curious as to what that guy could have possibly written.”

“Hya!? G-Guildmaster!?”

Materializing from the void, Canary plucked out one of the letters and looked it over, startling Yumina as she did.

“Shirley! Is it true that you received a letter from the dumbass emperor!?”

“Leia……how in the world did you hear about it?”

Leia had burst into the parlor with a force that threatened to tear the door off its hinges. Shirley could only sigh as somehow the room had grown quite noisy with the three women crowding around her.

“Right, sorry. The dumbass emperor sent a letter…….I overheard that through the grapevine, and I was worried.”

“You……haa. Well……it’s fine. Your concerns have never bothered me before.”

This was a work junior who had helped her out several times before now. If she’s rushing in, worried for her safety, it was hard for Shirley to criticize her.

“I came by because I thought it was interesting.”

“Go home Canary”

“Your treatment of me continues to grow worse the more time goes on.”

Despite what she said, Canary sat back on the sofa without paying Shirley’s words any mind. For her part, Shirley figured it would be more trouble than it was worth to force her out, so she quickly gave up after yanking back the envelope Canary had taken.

“The wax seal……it is certainly the Imperial family’s.”

Which means this letter was definitely from Albert. Shirley withdrew a dagger from her Hero’s Toolbox, and after cutting open the envelope at a speed invisible to the naked eye, she pulled out the letter.

“…..those are a lot of letters for one envelope.”

“What is written on them? Show me”

“Don’t push. Here, take a look”

If these letters were from anyone else, Shirley wouldn’t pass them around for privacy reasons, but this was Albert they were talking about. Wondering what he could have possibly written herself, she spread out the first letter on top of the desk so everyone could see.

“One day……to my single wing when we were young.

Since the day we were separated……it has already been over a decade long.

From that time on……I lost my wing named Shirley……and you lost the wing that was me, and we both plummeted to the ground.

It is as if we both raced off towards the sun known as eternal love, and we lost our wings to the scorching heat…….

A single bird that has lost its wings and is forced to writhe across the icy earth……that is us.

We were deceived by an evil witch and fell into the nightmarish abyss……a poor bird who has lost its hopes, dreams, and sight of the signpost of love.

To find once again the track of love lost long ago, I will take back my wing that is you.

The first day we met……I felt destiny tugging at my heart when I saw you, a small and beautiful flower blooming in the world’s shade. It was the same for you…….was it not?

And so you see……you may return to me without any mulishness…….?

“”””…………….””””

A strange silence perfused the parlor. Eventually Leia broke the silence by taking in a deep breath before walking over to the trash can in one corner of the room————

“Uegh……….!”

She began hacking as if she were about to vomit up a stomach full of brown sugar.

“T-This is, This is………!”

Yumina covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter, but for all her effort, there was no hiding her trembling shoulders――――

“AAHYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—!! HIHIHI—!! HIII—!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *COUGH!? COUGH! COUGH!*……….haa, haa……..Fufu! PuHYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—!!”

Canary physically could not stop laughing――――

“…………”

And Shirley was so freaked out that her hair was standing on end as if a bolt of static electricity had run through her body. What the hell was he thinking when he wrote this letter……once the initial discomfort had passed, all the was left was a feeling of shock and awe.

“The hell was that!? I seriously thought I was going to puke for a second there!! Seriously gross! Super gross! Really gross! I can only see him as a genius for being able to turn an ordinary sheet of paper into something that disgusting!!”

“Why are you angrier about this than I am?”

“No no, I can only wonder why you’re so calm about this Shirley! Did the Empire’s brain-dead emperor forget what he himself did!? This kind of thing is seriously unforgivable!! Rather than sending this idiotic Romeo mail, he should get on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness himself!!”

“Well……honestly, I’ve already mostly separated myself from my past.”

If he tries laying a hand on her daughters, she would immediately get rid of him. Otherwise, Shirley didn’t really care about Albert one way or the other. Even with him sending a letter like this, she felt amazed at most.

“Oh geez……every single one of these envelopes is stuffed with poems like that one.”

“……..I’m, pretty sure he wasn’t this stupid back then.”

The other letters were all similar in one way or another. They were all thrown together with the same dreary poem-like sentences. It’s said that people turn stupid when they’re trying to flirt, and Albert is a perfect example of that fact. His time as emperor must have affected him in some weird and incomprehensible way.

“Well…..we have known for a long time that His Majesty Emperor Albert wants Sophie and Tio, and this letter does confirm as much. ………although the contents are………fufu”

“Yumina, you look like you’re enjoying this”

“M-My apologies. Obviously this is wrong, but rather than being particularly appalled or amazed, I find myself intrigued by all this.”

It’s not hard to understand why she would feel like this. Even Shirley found it a bit humorous and interesting to imagine Albert with a stupid look on his face as he wrote out all these letters filled with naïve lines.

“HYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HII—!! HII—!! S-Spread…..the wings of love(LOL)……..!! FWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Glorious throne……..Glorious throneeeeeeeee!! And he believes me to be the big bad behind all this……..Fufufu! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“You’re laughing too much Canary”

“Ow! Ow! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! It hurts……..It hurts, but I just can’t stop AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

She refused to stop laughing even as Shirley continued hitting her head with the butt of her dagger. The poems appear to have directly touched her heart. After a round of rolling around the floor with her arms wrapped around her belly, Canary eventually managed to prop herself up and tapped Shirley’s shoulders while breathing heavily.

“Hey Shirley, I have a proposal……..I’ll give you a hundred gold coins for those letters……..no, how about two hundred gold coins? Once Princess Philia has brought about the Empire’s ruin, I will have a museum built in its capital for the posterity of the destroyed nation. This request for reconciliation(Romeo mail) strikes me as the perfect masterpieces(LOL) to represent its final years.”

“I’ve already decided that I’m throwing all of these away. Besides, you generally leave things like this behind for the sake of future generations do you not? I find the idea that a bunch of strangers born in the future would think of me however they wish quite unpleasant.”

“What are you saying? It’s much too late for that.”

Shirley looked Canary up and down, unsure of what she meant.

“I’m telling you right now, this has nothing to do with me. You’re the one who slew the Mad Black Dragon your rookie year. Then there was the Dread Vampire Princess that was making its way to the Kingdom from the Holy Land that you sealed away. Then just this year you slew a dragon king, won a Duel Ordained by the Goddess, and arrested the Phantom Thief. Then there are the countless other martial merits you pulled off. Any one of those acts would catch the eyes of a historian. As a matter of fact, according to my information network…….a group of historians are actually already planning to pay you a visit to see you included in modern history books.”

“Oh—!! That’s super amazing!! Doesn’t this mean that Shirley has made a name for herself as a legendary swordswoman!?”

“It only makes sense! Considering all her achievements until now, of course Shirley would be given the honor of having her name left in the annals of history.”

Frankly put, Shirley had a history of preventing situations that would normally be considered national crises. Preventing a mighty monster from raiding an urban area wasn’t nothing. With these kinds of achievements recognized the world over, historians were moving to say that such events be passed down for posterity’s sake. The person in question however was making a less than enthused face.

“……don’t screw with me. There is nothing I can do after my death, but isn’t having my name included in history books while I’m still alive the same as being shamed in front of the whole world? I refuse to meet with any historians no matter how many they send.”

“It’s up to you whether you want to or not, but in that case, they’ll just end up putting whatever they like in that book without hearing your side of things making that the official record. A long time ago the same thing happened to me when I neglected to deal with those historians. It becomes almost impossible to clear up any misunderstandings after that point, but…….are you okay with that?”

Considering this witch was someone who actually has appeared in history books, her words were tremendously persuasive, and Shirley immediately fell silent. 

Since there is no proper record left of the Kingdom that fell long ago, any tales or folklore left from that era are speculation at best, yet they are all still held to be true by future generations. It’s possible that a similar thing could happen here.

Scholars’ obsession with recording history is proving to be more troublesome than those mighty monsters they so dearly wish to hear about. There is no maliciousness behind their actions, but because they are men driven by a mission, they will most likely refuse to relent no matter what she says.

“It’s a nuisance, but this is what it means for people to pass on history. In your case it’ll be impossible to bury your achievements at this point nor will you be able to silence those who are aware of those achievements. Even if you were to obtain my help in this matter, the bards will still sing of your tale for ages to come. ……..I understand how this must sound, but I assure you I am being honest and well-meaning on this matter. Speak to the historians. There will be far less damage later on than if you allow them to write the tale themselves.”

“…………”

Next time, let’s buy some tea and snacks for guests.

Mentally adding cookies to the day’s shopping list, Shirley grimaced at how embarrassed Sophie and Tio would end up in the future when they find their mother in their history textbooks.