CH 58

(POV Chiharu)

I liked my freedom. So, I decided to live desperately and only for myself.

As usual, my mother and father neglected their parental duties. They indulged in dramas, enjoying their meals separately while we, too, ate on our own.

The house was always filled with near silence, broken only by the occasional outbursts of my parents’ arguments and scoldings. I disliked the silence. 

I felt a sense of emptiness and hollowness, and my heart felt weary.

But I had to stay quiet to avoid getting scolded. So, I remained silent.

There were a few dolls placed around the house, but there were hardly any good ones to play with. I also couldn’t make demands, so I never tried to dress up.

I dreamt of “someday, someday.” I lived with the hope of someday becoming happy, of someday becoming free.

When I saw children my age in kindergarten, a thought crossed my mind. They seemed so ordinary and happy, while I felt quite out of place.

But then, at that moment, I discovered a hairband at home. It wasn’t too old-fashioned, yet it didn’t appear overly modern either—a perfectly ordinary piece. It was a red hairband.

My hair was long and often messy, and I had been longing for something to tidy it up.

――But, can I really use this…? 

I wondered. There was a possibility that I would get scolded if I used it without permission. Despite that thought, I couldn’t resist the desire to use it. As I contemplated this…

“Just throw it away,”

“Huh?”

“I said, throw it away.”

“…If you’re going to throw it away, may I have it instead?”

“You want something so tacky? Suit yourself.”

My mother suddenly approached me and said I could have it if I wanted, since she initially wanted to throw it away.

I stood in front of the mirror, checking my appearance, and carefully put it on, tidying up my hair. It made me feel a little happy. It wasn’t a gift, nor was it something brand new, but having something special in my hands brought me joy.

Since I had an interest in fashion, I wore it almost every day. As I wore it, I noticed the gaze of my sisters on me almost every day.

“…”

“What is it?”

“…”

I ignored the longing looks of my youngest sister, Chiaki. I thought it had nothing to do with her. But as the days went by, I couldn’t dismiss it so easily.

“……Would you like to try it on?”

“…”

When I said that, her eyes sparkled as she nodded eagerly. Well, I was just lending it to her for a little while.

Thinking that way, I put it on her hair. Maybe Chiaki found her slightly messy and unruly hair bothersome because she used to have long hair herself. But when I put the hairband on her, she jumped up in joy.

At that moment, I thought she looked slightly cute.

Watching this, Chinatsu and Chifuyu had envy written all over their faces.

“…Want to wear it?”

“”Yes!””

I had no other choice, so I also put the hairband on Chinatsu and Chifuyu; since I found their longing gazes tiresome. They were both delighted when I gave it to them. They seemed to be having fun.

Among them, Chifuyu’s eyes sparkled the most. She was the youngest one.

Being the youngest, the fourth daughter, perhaps that’s why I felt obligated to take care of my younger sister, thinking it was inevitable as an older sister.

“…”

“I’ll give it to you… I don’t need it.”

“Huh? Are you sure…?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll give it to you.”

“Thank you so much, Haru-nee…”

Later on, I regretted saying that. Deep down, it was something I wanted for myself.

Maybe it was because I was the eldest daughter. I unintentionally considered it as my responsibility as an older sister.

It felt like a pointless loss, a burden. I thought of it as an unnecessary and burdensome title.

◆◆

(POV Chiharu)

“I tried making mozzarella cheese!” Chiaki said.

“Hmm, well, look at you… impressive.” Chinatsu said.

“Aki-nee, you’re amazing…” Chifuyu added.

“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s actually quite simple.”

It was a day during summer break. With Onii-san away for work, I was spending time in the living room, doing homework and such.

And then, out of nowhere, Chiaki managed to whip up some homemade mozzarella cheese. It may seem like a small feat, but this turned out to be an unexpectedly eventful day. 

Impressive, isn’t it? Just as expected of Chiaki! She’s my pride as a younger sister. However, it’s dangerous to use heat without supervision, so from now on, I’ll have to be there to assist.

“You did well, Chiaki.” I said.

“Mufufu… of course!”

“I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

“No, it’s actually quite simple! Let’s do it together next time!”

“Yeah… let’s do that.”

Chiaki’s cooking skills were steadily improving. They had surpassed the stars and had become a galaxy in themselves.

“When did you make this?” Chinatsu asked.

“Just now, while the three of you were watching a daytime drama,” Chiaki replied.

“…..Was it difficult?” Chinatsu inquired.

“It was easy,” 

“Oh, really? Well, I feel like even I could do it… Yes, I’m sure,” Chinatsu said.

“By the way, I made it thinking it would be a good accompaniment for Kaito’s sake!” Chiaki added.

“A-Aah. Such a clever move. Chifuyu wouldn’t have come up with such an idea,” Chifuyu lamented.

Chinatsu couldn’t help but feel a bit competitive, thinking that Chiaki’s cooking skills were surpassing her own. Meanwhile, Chifuyu held her head, thinking, “I’ve been beaten again.”

“For this, I shall be the eldest daughter!” Chiaki exclaimed.

“No, it’s me. It’s already decided that I’ll be the eldest daughter.” Chinatsu retorted.

“Then, I am the Ultra Super Pretty Eldest Daughter.” Chiaki said.

“I totally don’t understand what you mean!” Chinatsu responded.

“Well, well, both of you… let’s calm down.” Chifuyu intervened.

It seemed like both of them wanted to be the eldest daughter. Well, if both of them wanted to be the eldest daughter in our family, it wouldn’t really matter if I became the younger sister…

……Wait a minute? What is this feeling……just a little bit It feels a bit strange.

◆◆

(POV Kaito)

I typed on the keyboard with a clattering sound. I continued to strike the keys without interruption, fully concentrated on completing my work, when I suddenly realized it was already the end of regular working hours.

“Alright, let’s go home.”

“Ah, the usual return home… By the way, it’s been a year, right? Since you started raising those children…”

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m not sure if I’m doing a good job of raising them, though.”

“The conversations in the rest room have changed quite a bit compared to before.”

“Is that so?”

“I guess everyone is talking about how great elementary school kids are, and they talk about how ‘Kaito-san’ is a good surname…”

“Oh, I see… I’m not really interested. Well then, let’s leave it at that.”

I had to leave on time because my daughters were waiting for me. I didn’t have time to worry about what others thought or their evaluations. Overtime? If there was any work left, I could do it at home.

For almost a year now, I have been consistently leaving work on time, earning myself a perfect attendance record for punctual departure.

I got in the car and headed home. I needed to get back quickly to prepare dinner… But I had to obey the speed limit and be extremely cautious when checking left and right…

I arrived home after this and unlocked the door. As I entered, a delightful aroma of curry wafted towards me. Stepping into the living room, I spotted four individuals diligently working in the kitchen.

“Kaito! We made curry and waited for you! The secret ingredients are ketchup and medium-farm sauce!” Chiaki exclaimed.

“Welcome back, Kaito-san… We worked hard to prepare this, Chifuyu did her best. So please have seconds, won’t you?”  Chifuyu said.

“I worked hard too.”

“Welcome home, Onii-san.”

…I always rushed back home to prepare dinner. I felt responsible for making it myself.

Truth be told, it was quite challenging. Day after day, coming home on time and cooking dinner, even something this simple, left me exhausted.

However, this time, the four of them had prepared dinner for me. It made me incredibly happy. They cared about me and wanted to help out.

However, there was something about this feeling… It was 90 percent joy and 10 percent loneliness. If I were to express it, it would be something like that.

It was hard, but I suppose I felt a sense of fulfillment, which brought about a tinge of loneliness. Feeling their growth and realizing that they would be fine even without me, it was both painful and heartwarming… I had never known such a mix of emotions before.

“You made curry for me… Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome! Eat a lot! I also made mozzarella cheese!” Chiaki said.

“Amazing… I might not have anything left to teach you, Chiaki,” 

“What?! I don’t want that! I want you to teach me more!” Chiaki protested.

“Thank you, Chifuyu,” 

“Y-Yes… um, the secret ingredients were ketchup and sauce, and… um… never mind!” 

“Thank you too, Chinatsu,”

“Oh no, it’s only natural. After all, I’m the eldest daughter!” 

“Your radiance is blinding; I can’t even see the room,” I remarked.

“Those lines are more like Haru’s,” Chinatsu remarked.

“Chiharu, thank you,” I said.

“It’s not like I did anything,” Chiharu replied.

“There’s no way you haven’t done anything. Thank you,” 

“…You’re welcome,” 

Is this how fathers feel when they sense their children’s growth? A mix of happiness and loneliness. I was tormented by conflicting emotions, yet I couldn’t help but feel uplifted.

“For the curry, I’ll have a large serving,” I requested.

“Okay.” 

“Chifuyu will do the plating…”

“I’ll do it! I’m the eldest daughter, after all!” Chinatsu said.

“I’ll take care of the spoons…” Chiharu said.

…Chiharu, what do you think? When you see Chinatsu expressing her desire to become the eldest daughter, don’t you have any thoughts? Perhaps you harbor similar emotions to mine.

I’m not sure, but it might be worth asking.

But first, let’s enjoy the curry.

◆◆

(POV Chiharu)

We prepared a delicious curry and served it to Onii-san, before washing the dishes afterward. Onii-san seemed a bit lonely but also extremely happy.

In the bathroom, discussions revolved around this very topic. We all relaxed in the warm bathtub, engrossed in conversation.

“Kaito was truly overjoyed… all because ‘my heart’ was in the curry,”

Chiaki clenched her fist and tapped her chest twice, and I couldn’t help but notice a slight increase in the size of her chest.

“Kaito-san actually said it was delicious… ehehe,” Chifuyu said.

“Well, that’s all thanks to the secret ingredient I added,” Chinatsu declared.

“No, it’s because I fried the onions until they turned a beautiful golden brown,” Chiaki retorted.

“No, no, it’s because I added a dash of ketchup at the very last moment,” Chinatsu added.

Chinatsu expressed her desire to become the eldest daughter. Chiaki shared the same sentiment, while Chifuyu, though not vocal about it, worked hard every day to become independent. Each of them had started moving forward.

It should be something to be happy about… right?

Yet, despite wanting to cry and express joy by waving a towel, something felt off. The excitement didn’t quite resonate with me.

After getting out of the bath, the five of us gathered to watch TV together. Since it’s not good for the skin to sleep too late, we decided to go to bed early.

Chinatsu, Chiaki, and Chifuyu headed upstairs to their respective rooms. Usually, I would go with them, but today I didn’t feel like it. I simply sat on the sofa and watched TV. On the adjacent seat, Onii-san, dressed in pajamas after taking a bath, joined me.

“… Aren’t you sleepy?”

“… I might not be, actually.”

“… I, too, don’t feel sleepy tonight.”

“… Why is that?”

“Seeing all four of you grow and feeling like I’m no longer needed… It brings me both joy and loneliness. My heart is filled with conflicting emotions.”

“… I see.”

“Chiharu, could it be the same for you? Hearing Chinatsu express her desire to become the eldest daughter and witnessing everyone’s growth. Feeling like you’re no longer necessary, although it might be a good thing, isn’t it also lonely?”

“…”

Ah, I see… The responsibility of the eldest daughter, whom I once found bothersome and unnecessary. The title, the position.

The meaningless ranking that was given based on the order of birth.

I didn’t want to let them go… Seeing the three of them moving forward even without me, I couldn’t help but feel that I didn’t want to be separated from them.

“Yeah, it might be that way…”

“I see… But you can rest assured. I don’t think those three will depart from you, Chiharu…”

“Huh?”

“The three of them have been supported and embraced by you all this time… Now, I believe they want to support and embrace you in return…”

“That would be nice if it’s true.”

“It’s definitely true. I’ve been observing them for a year, and I can say with certainty that they respect and cherish you… This is a fact.”

“… Thank you.”

“Y-Yeah…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s just that I feel embarrassed for saying something embarrassing… Sorry, I guess I said some headache inducing stuff.”

Onii-san covered his face with one hand, looking embarrassed. I see; maybe this person is just like me after all.

I felt both a sense of growth and a tinge of loneliness. I wondered if I was no longer needed.

“It’s probably the same thing for Onii-san.”

“Huh?”

“Chinatsu, Chiaki, and Chifuyu must feel that they want to support you since you’ve supported them. I don’t think they consider you unnecessary or not needed. I’m sure we’ll still need you, um, probably…”

Oh, I might have said something a bit embarrassing.

My cheeks felt a little warm… I shifted my gaze to various places.

“I hope so…”

“Y-Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m just embarrassed for saying something embarrassing, my face feels hot, that’s all. It’s just making it hard to sleep.”

“That’s not good…”

I think his heat has transferred to me too. Ah, it feels hot.

I fanned my face with my hands, feeling so embarrassed that I wanted to escape from this place. I needed to leave this room immediately and head upstairs.

“Are you going to bed?” Onii-san asked.

“Yes,” 

I hurriedly opened the door to the living room, as if rushing to escape.

“””Uwaaa!”””

Chinatsu, Chiaki, and Chifuyu fell into the living room like a landslide. They must have been eavesdropping on us.

“What….are you all doing?” I asked.

“Oh, no, it’s not what you think… This is what Aki suggested,” Chinasu said.

“Ehh? Chifuyu was the one who suggested it!” Chiaki said.

“Ehhhh? Chifuyu tried to stop you guys. I kept stopping them till the end!” Chifuyu said.

….I felt embarrassed. I couldn’t believe they had overheard those words. Why were all three of them doing this?

Unintentionally, I narrowed my eyes.

“Oh, but you know, it was a good story. So, well, it’s not a big deal,” Chinatsu said.

“Yeah! Chiharu is amazing!” Chiaki exclaimed.

“Haru-nee, I didn’t expect you to say such a typical, passionate thing…” Chifuyu added.

“…”

“Huh? What’s wrong? Could it be that Haru is actually blushing? So cuuute!” Chinatsu teased.

“Ohhh, Chiharu, you’re so cuuuute!” Chiaki added. 

“Ah, well, if it comes to this, be prepared to be teased for about an entire week. Source is Chifuyu.”

“…”

My face feels warm. Chinatsu and Chiaki had expressions that said they’d found something amusing. Chinatsu looked at me with sympathetic eyes. Onii-san sat on the sofa, observing with an amused smile.

Instead of laughing, Onii-san, please help me.

“Oh, right. Before I forget…”

Chinatsu suddenly embraced me tightly.

“…”

“The things you said earlier… It was surprisingly accurate, and I was taken aback. For me, Haru is my goal. That hasn’t changed. But this time, I wanted to go beyond that, to be the one embracing you.”

“…”

“Rely on me…”

For a few seconds, Chinatsu held me in her embrace.

“…This is so embarrassingly silly…”

“Oh! Then count me in too!” Chiaki said.

“Yeah, me too!” Chifuyu joined in.

One by one, the area around me became a crowded space as the three of them hugged me.

At that moment, memories from the past flooded back.

…On a certain night,

I was sleeping alone, but then Chinatsu came to my side, and Chifuyu came to the other side, while the lonely Chiaki covered me like sushi toppings on rice. It was annoying, bothersome, and suffocating… but that night, I slept the best I ever had.

I don’t want to let go…

“Alright, next, I’ll give Kaito a hug!” Chiaki said.

“Me?” Onii-san questioned.

Chiaki charged at Onii-san like a rocket, hopping on top of him on the sofa for a hug. Chifuyu looked on enviously, lamenting that she couldn’t do the same. Chinatsu, finding her childish, sighed in exasperation.

“Pat my head!” Chiaki said.

“Okay.”

“And Kaito, hug me too!”

“Uh, alright…”

“Aki is such a child.”

“But Aki-nee who can do that, is very brave…”

I don’t want to let go… of my sisters.

But I wouldn’t say it’s the same for Onii-san. It’s not like he feels the same way as we do as sisters… but maybe he doesn’t want to let go either…