CH 80

Translated by Neirith

Episode Ten – The “Basics” of Love Life (1)

Confessions, for the unfamiliar, are the switch that changes everything. Once turned on, meant victory, and once shut, meant defeat. 

Between an old couple, a confession indicated the end of a certain kind of ambiguity. Following that day, Ye Qia felt Xia Zhi had let go of certain inhibitions. When at home, he no longer seemed so “beseeching.” Though it hadn’t been that bad before, now it was completely gone. 

Strangely enough, Ye Qia had always appeared to have been the one who was more relaxed at home. His clothes were always unkempt, and he burped, farted, and picked his teeth without care in front of Xia Zhi. Nevertheless, on the inside, he was relatively tense. There was always a sense of subtle isolation.

On the contrary, Xia Zhi had always appeared neat when at home. When he used the restroom, he even tried to close the door, never appearing indecent in front of Ye Qia. He tried his best to maintain his image. However, on the inside, he treated Ye Qia as one of his own. He cared not for trifles, and also not for big events. He had utmost faith in the other.

And what about now?

The day following the confession, Ye Qia entered the restroom at first morn to find Xia Zhi on the toilet, inspecting himself with a small mirror, shaving. Seeing him enter, his face remained unchanged as he gave a “morning,” and continued as if undisturbed. Ye Qia was momentarily stunned and somewhat at a loss, because he had never seen Xia Zhi in this state before. Either he was feeling so sick that he didn’t care, or this was intentional.

He cautiously observed Xia Zhi’s expression, which appeared unperturbed and normal, neither happy nor sad, and replied, “Morning.”

“When will you get off work today?”

“Around two to four in the afternoon.”

“Oh, then buy some groceries. I want to eat squid.” As soon as he said this, Michelle Junior rushed in, barking twice before dashing back out. Without any hesitation, Xia Zhi chased after, shouting as he ran, “Michelle Junior! You’re still trying to pee in the restroom? I said no! Ye Qia, help me flush the toilet!”

Ye Qia pressed the lever as he leisurely sauntered out, watching as Xia Zhi ran butt naked around the house, chasing after Michelle Junior. For a while, he felt somewhat disinclined. After giving it some thought, he decided to take his own measures in order to alleviate his mental burden and yelled, “There will be no squid tonight!”

“What? Why?” Xia Zhi held Michelle Junior as he ran back, waving Michelle Junior’s paw as he asked bitterly, “Why no squid?”

Ye Qia lowered his head and caught sight of Xia Zhi’s bird waving in the air. He replied coolly, “Because you didn’t wipe your ass.”

“Huh?”

Xia Zhi thought about this line all the while at work.

Ye Qia was rarely frank, and never said things like “I’m not happy.” Instead, he usually expressed his mood through subtle changes. This time, he said it so openly. What did this mean? “Didn’t wipe your ass,” was this some sort of code? Was it some sort of leftover grudge, or did he make some sort of huge mess?

He thought and though, but came to no realizations. However, because he was so absorbed in thought, he accidentally drank a cup of coffee at noon. Additionally, the workplace cafeteria “coincidentally” introduced a new line of steaks, of which he accidentally had a piece of.

Yeah, it was all because he was too absorbed in thought!

With this thought in mind, Xia Zhi returned home after work with a baffling sense of self-righteousness. He was like those people who did bad things, then boasted about it.

“Oh, Ye Qia.” As soon as he opened the door, he shouted, raising the dishes in his hand as a gesture of goodwill. “I brought back some roast duck.”

“You brought back a roast duck?” Ye Qia peeked his head out of the kitchen, saying in a somewhat astonished tone, “I got some squid. What did you bring back roast duck for? Didn’t you want to eat squid?”

Xia Zhi stood stunned in place as he held the roast duck. He was wholly perplexed by Ye Qia’s temper. Regardless, he’d brought something back and felt he had done his duty. At this point in time, he began to liken himself to those married straight men who treated their wives thoughts as an enigma. For lack of anything better, he could only smile and keep quiet as he tried to bypass this “household crisis.”

Of course, this wasn’t something that could be said out loud.

At dinner, Xia Zhi teased Michelle Junior in addition to “teasing” Ye Qia. Because of this, Michelle Junior became too excited and peed on the legs of the table. Ye Qia became frigid, as he was driven away from the dining table in the process of cleaning up the pee.

Xia Zhi became aggrieved, not knowing where he’d gone wrong. 

“What did I do wrong?!” He howled as he washed the dishes. “Okay then, I’ll be honest. Today, I drank only one cup of coffee and had one steak! The steak was extremely tasty and cheap, let me tell you. This time, the boss was very determined, he hired a chef who apparently worked in a five-star hotel before. The flavor was…”

He continued rambling until he finished washing all the dishes. Xia Zhi satisfactorily exited the kitchen, to see Ye Qia sitting in the bedroom with his earphones in, watching TV as he studied the latest gay videos. 

“…”

He darted over and pulled out the earphones as he asked furiously, “Did you hear anything I just said?!”

Ye Qia was not the least bit surprised, and only glared icily at Xia Zhi, who was glared at until he became cold all over. Just as he felt his blood was about to freeze, he was suddenly asked, “How much do you weigh?”

“145 catties*.” *about 87 kg or 192 lb

“How tall?”

“180!*” *about 5’11” 

Ignoring his definitive way of speaking, Ye Qia casually beckoned, “Come here.”

With a guarded look, Xia Zhi slowly approached, watching as Ye Qia reached out a hand to pinch him. His thoughts very quickly became dishonest, and he leaned over to embrace Ye Qia, when he suddenly felt something stick to his mouth. He looked down and asked, “What is this?”

“Cowboy straightjacket.” 

“What?”

“The kind of clothing made for mentally ill patients. Except, it’s for cowboys.” Ye Qia said, “Try it on.”

All of Xia Zhi’s hairs stood on end. He asked vigilantly, “Why?”

Ye Qia gave him an eye roll, replying, “I have a client who specifically asked for cloth-tearing play. They designed this item, so I need to test it out first, to see if it can be torn.”

Feeling the sturdy outfit, Xia Zhi looked at Ye Qia’s buff arms and said indignantly, “No need to try! It’s so thick, who can tear it?! Your clients are so shabby, they don’t even treat humans as humans!”

Ye Qia said evenly, “A single item made for this kind of play costs one hundred thousand.”

Xia Zhi asked decisively, “How do you put it on?”

The straightjacket was truly difficult to put on. Xia Zhi spent around ten minutes wrangling it, before Ye Qia lent a hand. Once worn, he felt short of breath, as if there was a big rock sitting on his chest. He didn’t even have the enough air to fight, much less struggle.

“Fuck, this outfit must be used for murder.”

“It’s for mentally ill patients, this is normal.” Ye Qia adjusted the belt and stepped back a few steps, inspecting him. “How do you feel?”

“Bad!”

“Oh, then feel free to adapt.” Ye Qia smiled like an angel. “I’m gonna make some tea.”

Xia Zhi was stupefied. He immediately raged, “Fuck! Ye Qia, you tricked me!”