CH 73

It was their senior year’s winter vacation, their last winter vacation in college.

Ye Zhou planned to bring up what he’d been worried about in his heart during the Lunar New Year and simply come out of closet.

“Coming out of the closet?” Shang Jin’s first reaction was to reject it, but he thought over it again and there didn’t seem to be any reason to object. They basically had no classes as seniors in their last semester, and they’d enter graduate school immediately afterwards. Frankly, Ye Zhou would return home less and less in the future, and even though they hadn’t graduated yet, they were still truly independent. Even if he was driven out, there was nothing to worry about. Shang Jin turned his attention back to the computer and said, “Come out if you want to.”

Ye Zhou took a deep breath. He hadn’t returned yet, but he couldn’t help but imagine his parents’ reaction in his mind.

Shang Jin set the computer aside and sat side-by-side with Ye Zhou. He held Ye Zhou’s hand and said, “Don’t worry. They definitely won’t accept it.”

Ye Zhou clicked his tongue and said, “Do you comfort people like this?”

“I’m not comforting you.” Shang Jin leaned back on the couch and said, “I’m just letting you know how big the challenge you’ll be facing next is. But so what? Classmate Ye Zhou has never been afraid of challenges.”

Ye Zhou said without confidence, “The decision is in the other’s hands and I’m helpless. How can I challenge it? It’s going to wait for the verdict. Until now, my parents have always valued face as important as the heaven. I think they’d say I caused them to lose face.”

Shang Jin let out a small laugh and said, “You’ve never earned any face for them yet, so how can you lose face?”

Even if it were so, speaking so plainly doesn’t make your heart ache??

What’s even more surprising was that he was actually comforted. Since young, his parents resented that him being second made them lose face. In any case, they’d already lost face so many times that it didn’t matter if it’s one time more.

Thinking so, Ye Zhou suddenly didn’t feel burdened with guilt anymore.

After speaking with Shang Jin, Ye Zhou planned to also tell this to his brother.

Once Ye Heng heard this, he worked extra shifts before the end of the year and finally squeezed in a few days of vacation, buying the same return ticket with Ye Zhou.

After all, he understood his parents. They wouldn’t get physical, but they were absolute experts in emotional abuse.

Shang Jin drove the Ye brothers to the airport on the day of their return.

Ye Zhou’s mood wasn’t particularly high and was moody along the way, saying very little.

Shang Jin gently hugged him and said in his ear, “Don’t worry, I’m behind you.”

Ye Zhou laughed and pushed him away. Not wanting Shang Jin to worry, he joked, “Are you my shadow?”

“I’d like to be.” Ye Zhou’s heart was softer than his. If he could, Shang Jin wished he could replace Ye Zhou to go through this ordeal. But there were many things in the world that one must complete alone. “When you come back, I’ll come pick you up.”

Ye Heng suddenly had the defeated feeling of his little brother’s husband being too capable and he, this older brother, didn’t have room to show off his skills. He interrupted the two people who still wanted to continue on and said, “OK, what can happen with me here? Shang Jin, you should go back.”

If it were up to Ye Zhou, he would never choose this mode of transportation.

But for Ye Heng, this kind of ‘time is money’ person, it was better to spend less time on the road. As a result, since Ye Heng came to A City, how Ye Zhou went home was upgraded from train directly to airplane.

Ye Zhou only felt that he hadn’t slept on the plane and had already arrived at his destination.

Out of the airport, they saw their family car in a glance. Ye Zhou absentmindedly followed behind Ye Heng. Seeing Ye Heng follow Mother Ye into the backseat, Ye Zhou took the passenger seat.

Once Ye Zhou decided to do something, he usually did it quickly.

Along the way, he finished arranging his lines for the evening, and his answers to his parents’ occasional questions were unusually perfunctory.

Receiving a half-hearted answer once again, Mother Ye held back her anger and said, “What are you thinking about all day and night?”

Ye Heng said hurriedly, “Zhou Zhou didn’t sleep well last night and it also very uncomfortable on the plane.”

Mother Ye still wanted to say a word or two more, but was directly interrupted by Ye Heng.

When they got home, while Dad Ye was cleaning up and Mother Ye was cooking, Ye Heng went to Ye Zhou’s room and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

Ye Zhou put the clothes he’d brought back in the closet. This time, maybe because he hadn’t come back early, his room was actually cleaned up by his parents.

“I want to tell mom and dad today.”

Tell?

Tell what?

Do you still need to ask?

“If you say it today, then the home will be in a depression for the rest of the time.” Ye Heng deliberated and said, “What do you think about not telling our parents for now? You’re also uncomfortable. You might as well tell them two days before leaving. This leaves two days as a buffer for them. Talk about it before we leave.”

“But…”

“Listen to me this time.” Ye Heng left no room for negotiation. “No matter how hard it is, bear with it.”

This was the first time Ye Heng had been unyielding with him, and Ye Zhou could only reluctantly agree.

However, plans couldn’t keep up with the changes.

Because Ye Zhou’s cousin had a baby earlier this year, the Ye family’s relatives rushed back from various places and since it coincided with the New Year, they simply gathered in D City to celebrate the Lunar New Year and also to visit the tourist attractions.

Ye Zhou, who’d thought that he would finish his task after two days, looked at his seven aunts on his dad side and seven aunts on his mom’s side gathered in their home day after day and simply didn’t give him a chance to come out.

Hearing the noise in the living room even through the closed door, Ye Heng said, “Otherwise, don’t say it during the New Year.”

Arrow drawn in the bow, words ready in his mouth: all his mental preparation had all become futile. Ye Zhou felt stifled in his heart, unable to go up or down. He lay down in bed and vented, “It can only be this way.”

Ye Heng touched his head and walked out of the bedroom.

The moment he opened the door, Mother Ye laughed in the living room, “I was just talking about you. Where did you run off to? Your cousin wants to take the college entrance exam next year and I was going to have you help him look for reference material.”

Ye Heng knitted his brows and said, “I’ve graduated many years ago. Zhou Zhou has some review material he still keeps in the cupboard. Wouldn’t it be fine to give it to the cousin? Besides, I have no experience teaching people.”

‘Your family’s Ye Heng is so modest.” Auntie Ye pulled her son addicted to games over and said, “You should learn more from your Brother Ye Heng. Look at him now, he’s a company executive. If you don’t study well, afterwards, even if you want to be a janitor, no one would want you.”

Ye Heng picked up the smartphone addict cousin’s phone and said, “Xiaoshan, go find your Brother Ye Zhou. His original review materials are well-kept.”

Wei Xiaoshan sneered and curled his lips. “I won’t look for him.”

This contemptuous attitude made Ye Heng furious. It was because of the adults’ contempt that the children learned from it. Ye Heng seldom attended family gatherings and hadn’t found this point before. “Where does your confidence come from to say such words? Growing up, if your grades even beat Ye Zhou’s once, I wouldn’t waste words on you. But as a student with the lowest rank, how are you qualified to look down on a top student?”

Ye Heng’s figure in the Ye family had always been lofty. Not only was Wei Xiaoshan subdued, but even Mother Ye and Auntie Ye who were chatting on the side were stunned.

Ye Heng’s voice wasn’t loud, but because he’d forgotten to close the door just now, Ye Zhou, who was complaining to Shang Jin about not being able to come out, also heard it. He quickly put his cell phone in his pants pocket and hurried out, even though he knew that going out was of no use.

Mother Ye came back to her senses and said disapprovingly, “Ye Heng, what are you saying?”

“Ye Heng, the child isn’t sensible and speaks without thinking.” Auntie Ye acted as the mediator: “Xiaoshan, still not quickly apologizing to your Brother Ye Heng?”

Ye Heng said, “Don’t apologize to me. The one he should be apologizing to is Zhou Zhou.”

Mother Ye interrupted, “What apology? The child isn’t sensible, does that mean the adult is also insensible?”

“If the adults are sensible, then would they let a child say such…”

“Forget it, brother. There’s nothing to say.” Ye Zhou pulled Ye Heng into his room. Mother Ye gave him an image of incompetence, so he also didn’t blame the brothers and sisters for their bad attitudes. After all, many people worship the high and trample the low.

Ye Heng looked at him and sighed, “It’s my bad.”

“It’s unrelated to you.”

Less than half an hour later, Ye Zhou’s bedroom door opened. Mother Ye said with a furious look, “You two get out here for me.”

The just-lively living room now only had the sound of a variety show playing on the TV.

Mom and Dad Ye sat in the middle of the two-person sofa. Auntie Ye’s family had already left.

“What were you two doing today?” Mother Ye slapped the table and wrinkled her brows at the two brothers standing in front of the coffee table. “Don’t you know how much face I lost in front of the relatives today? Ye Heng, especially you. I praise you in front of the relatives everyday, and this is how you display it?”

“I never told you to praise me before the relatives.”

Father Ye said with a stiff face, “Ye Heng, is this how you talk to your mother!”

Seeing the gunfire all concentrated on Ye Heng, Ye Zhou quickly stepped out and said, “Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you.”

“Ye Zhou!” Ye Heng dragged him back and shook his head at him.

Those with eyes could see that now was definitely the most unwise time to come out, but his brother was scolded entirely because of him. It made no sense for him to hide behind his brother.

“In fact, I wanted to say this matter long ago.” Ye Zhou took a deep breath and stepped out from behind Ye Heng. His tightly clenched fists at his hem slowly loosened. “I…I discovered during high school. In fact, I’m gay.”

Mother Ye said in disbelief, “Gay?”

Ye Zhou whispered, “That’s…liking men.”

Mother Ye gasped hoarsely, her fists clenched tightly as if her anger was brewing and she was resisting.

“You…you…” Father Ye’s finger pointed at Ye Zhou, his whole hand trembling from anger.

“Mom, your school’s Teacher Li also has a child who’s gay. Didn’t you console her at that time, saying that homosexuality wasn’t a disease? That the environment they’re living in is already difficult and as parents, they should be more understanding?” Ye Heng pulled Ye Zhou behind him and said, “Mom, Dad, you should also be understanding.”

“Understand, my ass!” Mother Ye stood up and suddenly realized, “No wonder you took out the data to persuade me back then. Doing all of this was all just a lead up for Ye Zhou!” When Ye Heng came back last year, Mother Ye happened to bring this up during the meal and was unable to understand at first. Later, Ye Heng advised her, and the next day, she took these arguments to comfort Teacher Li.

“Whatever my purpose was, you agreed with me.”

“Of course it doesn’t hurt when you’re not the one cut by the knife. Other people’s matter, of course I can easily say a few good things for them to hear, but does that mean that I can accept homosexuality when it happens to my own son?” Mother Ye stood up and pushed Ye Heng away. Her voice wasn’t loud, but it was full of power. “Ye Zhou, you ask your conscience: aren’t you letting us down by doing this? Just because of her son’s matter, Teacher Li isn’t able to raise her head even now. Do you want to make your father and me become the laughingstock of others?”

“So…” Ye Zhou slowly raised his head and, facing Mother Ye’s sharp eyes, said, “For your face, my happiness isn’t important?”

“Happiness? What happiness is there in loving in the shadows your entire life? Can you raise your head and tell people that you are gay?” Mother Ye fiercely jabbed at Ye Zhou’s chest and said, “Do you understand? Rumors and slanders can kill people! How long can you bear it? Your future lover, how long can he bear it? And for me and your dad in this small place, I can’t wait for the entire community to know, for the entire school to know. We’ve always been law-abiding citizens. Why do we have to suffer such a calamity for no reason? The reputation we’ve built up in a lifetime will all be destroyed in your hands.”

“I’m not stealing, robbing, violating a principle or breaking the law. Just because my sexuality is different from the ordinary people, it’s somehow shameful?” Ye Zhou knitted his brows and retorted, “In a world so large, how can everyone be the same? This is a society that seeks common ground, putting differences aside. I won’t despise myself, and no one can look down on me. Haven’t you always said in front of others that your younger son wouldn’t do and could only make you lose face? So even if I’m homosexual, other’s shouldn’t be surprised.”

Slap! Mother Ye’s palm struck Ye Zhou’s face. “Don’t study diligently and only know how to go on the crooked path!”

Her action was too fast that Ye Heng couldn’t react at all. A handprint soon appeared on Ye Zhou’s face.

“Violence won’t resolve anything.” Ye Heng pulled Ye Zhou to his side and stood in front of him. “It isn’t that Ye Zhou isn’t trying hard; it’s just that you can’t see his efforts. Mom, dad, you’re both teachers. You should know that the gap between the first and second is very small. So what if it’s second place? You can’t deny that Zhou Zhou is a child with exceptional grades. Why do you always have to use the rank to pressure him?”

“It’s because we’re teachers and know that the difference is small, so we place such strict demands on him. The difference is so little. If Ye Zhou could strive a little, how could he not surpass it!”

How could he not surpass it?

This point, Ye Zhou also wanted to know the most.

“My ability is limited, so I helped you bring back a first place.” Ye Zhou laughed mockingly, “I found a person who wins every test. Since young, regardless of whether it’s cultural class or physical education, he’s always first. My current boyfriend is A City’s champion for the college entrance exam that year.”

Mother Ye was extremely furious, laughing, “It’s still me who’s wrong in the end?”

Ye Heng just opened his mouth, wanting to help Ye Zhou, when Father Ye suddenly stood up and pointed at Ye Zhou. “You get out! Just take it as we didn’t raise you! Be gay if you want to, kill people if you want to, set fire if you want to! Afterwards, you have nothing to do with us.”

Ye Zhou looked at them, turned around and opened the door.

“Zhou Zhouー”

“Ye Heng, stop there for me!”

Ye Heng didn’t chase after him. He sighed and said, “Mom, dad, can’t you just let me alone follow the life you planned? I gave up what I liked just to be the son you’re proud of. It should be enough to have one son to be proud of. Let Zhou Zhou do what he likes.”

Father Ye and Mother Ye didn’t say anything. Ye Heng saw Ye Zhou’s coat and said, “Zhou Zhou didn’t take his coat. I’ll go give it to him.”

Ye Zhou had run out in the heat of anger. At the end, his dad had equated homosexuality with murder and arson and made him unable to accept it anymore. He gave up on continuing to fight with them. Their views were different, and no one could approve of the other.

Really coming to this step, Ye Zhou thought he’d be uncomfortable, but he didn’t expect that he was even more relieved. Having been stifled for too long in this family, he’d finally erupted. No wonder so many people like to talk back. Although the result was probably pouring oil on the fire, but the process was invigorating!

It wasn’t good to cause Shang Ming to cause worry over the New Year, so Ye Zhou didn’t bother Shang Ming and called Shang Jin’s phone instead. He’d left too fast and forgotten to bring his coat, but fortunately, his phone was on him. Light snow drifted in the sky. Ye Zhou shrunk his neck and listened to the ringing of the phone. After three rings, it connected.

“Ye Zhou?”

Ye Zhou quickly walked to the nearest coffee shop and ordered a cup of coffee. He said, “Fast, congratulate me. I finally got driven out of my house.”

“Didn’t you say that you wouldn’t come out during New Year’s?”

“It’s hard to explain in a few words. When my family’s relatives just left, my heart was determined and I came out.”

“Then tonight…”

“Let’s talk about it later. At worst, I could go to a McDonald’s and make do for a night. Anyways, tomorrow’s flight…” He hadn’t said ‘ticket’ yet when Ye Zhou suddenly remembered that he didn’t bring his identification. To be exact, he only had his cell phone on him right now.

Ding-dong, a message came in, then Ye Zhou heard Shang Jin say, “I booked a flight for you at seven o’clock. I’ll pick you up in the evening.”

Ye Zhou held his forehead. “I didn’t bring my ID…”

Shang Jin paused, then, “I’ll drive to D City and pick you up.”

“Don’t!” The two places weren’t close. Ye Zhou didn’t feel at ease letting Shang Jin drive long distances. “I’ll go with my brother tomorrow. He’d definitely bring my ID…” His words not finished yet, his head got knocked.

“You’re really secure in knowing I have your back. Fancy that I was so anxious to bring your clothes over.” Ye Heng handed the card over to him and said, “Where were you thinking of running off to without your ID card?”