Chapter 38: Bouncing Watermelons

Chapter 38: Bouncing Watermelons

Pieces of the asphalt road blew up into the air, cars swerved and bumped into each other, pedestrians raised screams.

"LET ME RIP THEM OOOOOFF!"

A uniform with the chest area torn wide open. A devilish expression. A swaying ponytail. A flat chest.

The boob ripping woman’s–Nagumo’s–roars echoed throughout Shinonome’s evening air as she pursued us.

"Hey Haruhisa Furuya! It looks like we’re causing quite the mess here! Is this really okay!? Nobody’s died right!?"

"Probably!"

Since I asked Soya to make preparations for intercepting the boob ripping woman, about thirty minutes had passed.

Karasuma and I continued to desperately weave around the city’s streets while dodging the boob ripping woman’s attacks.

Inevitably, the city had beared some damage. Karasuma and I were also running out of energy and I feared we were going to reach our limit soon.

There was also one more thing that was about to reach its limit.

"Hmph? Th, this… Hey! Haruhisa Furuya!"

Karasuma raised a voice mixed with confusion and delight. I looked over and saw Karasuma’s super boobs shriveling and deflating like balloons losing air. It looked like the shape-shifting talismans had finally reached their time limit.

"Well, there’s nothing we can do now that the talisman’s effect has worn off! It’s impossible for me to be a decoy now, isn’t it!?"

I’ve finally gotten off the death road to hell! But now the city’s going to suffer harm! But there’s nothing I can do about the talisman expiring, nothing I can do!–was what Karasuma’s face said.

Taking into consideration Karasuma’s complicated feelings, I pulled a talisman out from my pocket.

"I’ll give you my shape-shifting talisman."

"Eh?"

"Consider it an extension of the time limit. I need you to shape-shift another pair of super boobs."

"W, why the hell would I do that!? You think I can deal with being monster bait again!? HAAH!? You’re a son of a bitch, Furuya Haruhisa!"

"There’s no choice! The only reason the city still hasn’t suffered any major damage is because she’s completely focused on you!"

"Then why don’t you grow the super boobs yourself!?"

"I don’t really mind but it’s still impossible to stop the motorcycle in the middle of the road right now, you know? In the end, we’ll still be targeted by her together."

Karasuma growled in frustration.

"No need to fret. Even if you get killed by her, I’ll probably die with you."

"You think I want to commit a double suicide with a man!? I’d rather die together with a pretty girl wrapped up in bondage with a vexed expression on her face!"

Karasuma screamed as she snatched the talisman from my hand and shape-shifted another pair of super boobs on her chest.

I didn’t know if she was being desperate or stupid but her super boobs looked like they were two times bigger than before.

How the hell was she going to drive with those watermelons on her chest…? Were we going to be okay…?

–Ring! Ring! Ring!

I received a call from Soya on my phone.

"Are you still alive Furuya-kun!?"

"Yeah, somehow or another–TURN RIGHT!–how’s the situation on your side, Soya–TURN LEFT NOW KARASUMA!"

I talked to Soya while shouting out instructions to Karasuma on how to dodge the boob ripping woman’s next attack.

"Things are going well, I’ve managed to get their cooperation! We’re currently making preparations to intercept her at Shinonome Municipal Stadium! It’s located on the outskirts of the city!"

"All right! We only have about thirty minutes left before the talisman wears off so make sure everything is ready by then!"

"I understand! I’ll do my best!"

Great! We finally had a goal set for this hellish game of tag.

"Hey Karasuma, did you hear that? We only need to get to the stadium so hold on for just a little longer–"

"GYAAAAAAAAAH!? THESE DAMN BOOBS ARE BLOCKING THE ROAD–"

Karasuma screamed.

I looked over and saw Karasuma’s super watermelon boobs bouncing around from the strong wind slamming violently against her from the front. The melons’ billowing undulations completely obstructed Soya’s view of the road.

"What the hell are you doing!?"

My voice couldn’t help turning slightly shrill from the comical and dangerous sight in front of me.

"It’s not my fault! It’s not my fault! It’s these stupid boobs’ fault!"

"Weren’t you the one who threw a tantrum earlier by making your boobs needlessly large!?"

With her vision obstructed, Karasuma’s driving degraded in the blink of an eye.

The motorcycle wobbled left and right as it slowed down. It looked like we were about to wobble ourselves into the oncoming lane at any moment.

However, the scariest thing was,

GLARE.

The pressure being emanated by the boob ripping woman drawing closer from behind us was clearly increasing.

Silence.

The voice which had been repeatedly screeching "LET ME RIP YOUR BOOBS OFF" had gone quiet and now only the ominous sound of breaking asphalt could be heard.

"…enough already."

I turned around fearfully to see the boob ripping woman stop to lift a vending machine. She then swung the vending machine in a large arc with the pitching form of a professional baseball player.

There was no way we could dodge that with Karasuma currently driving worse than a drunk.

"Hey Karasuma! Do you feel anything when you touch those stupidly big boobs!?"

"Heh? N-no, they’re basically like papier-mache so I don’t feel anything…"

"Then there shouldn’t be any problem if I do this!"

I grabbed handfuls of Karasuma’s super boobs from behind her and squeezed as hard as I could.

"NGYAAAAAAA?! Where the hell, do you think you’re squeezing Furuya!"

"There’s no other way!"

I grabbed onto her super boobs and held them down so they would stop blowing around in the wind.

"I don’t feel anything, I don’t feel anything! However, my instincts are still screaming that this is absolutely unacceptable! Remember that if you make it back alive! Prepare yourself, pervert!"

"That’s only if we get out of this alive!"

While continuing to make sure Karasuma had clear sight of the road, I turned around.

GOOO! The vending machine launched by the boob ripping woman spun rapidly in the air as it shot towards us.

"LEFT, KARASUMA!"

"AAAAARGHH! Just knowing that my boobs are being molested by a man gives me goosebumps–!"

As soon as Karasuma shifted our motorcycle left, the vending machine whistled through the spot we had just been at.

Yes! We dodged it!, just when I was inwardly rejoicing–

SCREEEEEEEECH! BOOM!

The vending machine crashed into the ground at a tremendous speed, splattering its goods all over the place.

The ground rapidly became littered with large numbers of unopened cans and plastic bottles. There was no way a two-wheeled vehicle like our motorcycle was going to be able to drive through those!?

"Shit!? Furuya, I’m going to turn right!"

At Karasuma’s signal, I leaned my body to the left. As we both leaned left to offset the sudden centrifugal force, Karasuma abruptly turned our motorcycle into a side alley to avoid having to drive through the vending machine innards which were blocking the road.

This caused our speed to drop considerably. The silent killing intent approaching from behind us rapidly closed the distance.

Karasuma immediately stomped on the accelerator to increase our speed, however–

"Another vending machine’s coming! Make a big turn right!"

Perhaps the initial attack had gotten her warmed up since the boob ripping woman quickly began launching numerous vending machines at us without stopping.

Each time a vending machine exploded and covered the road in bottles and cans, we were forced to change our current route and our speed dropped.

"Nagumo is not going easy on us at all, is she…?"

From her repeated attacks, I could feel her strong desire to "kill all big boobs".

"KILL…KILL ALL BIG BOOBS…"

Nevermind, I didn’t just feel it, I could even hear her saying it. The boob ripping woman advanced on us while whispering her raison d’etre. This was the determined advance of the flat-chest.

However, we ourselves were determined to not get caught.

I rode through the streets of Shinonome in the humiliating posture of sitting in the backseat of a girl’s motorcycle while squeezing her boobs from behind as we headed for the stadium where Soya and the other exorcists were waiting for us.