CH 1

"Hey, Minhui. Check out that part-time worker."

"Why? Is he an acquaintance?"

In a PC cafe where game noises were blasting from all sides, two women whispered while glancing at Sugyeom.

From the moment the two had walked in, one of the women had been eyeing Sugyeom on the side. Having sensed their gaze, he had hurriedly found a hat to wear, but it seemed to be of no use.

"Doesn't he look like Song Sugyeom?"

"Who?"

The woman asked back with a lack of interest as her eyes withdrew to her computer screen. She soon bounced in her chair, seemingly thrilled. The topic of Sugyeom had only lasted a very brief moment.

"Huh? Great, great! There's an empty seat...what? I didn't get it? Damn it. Aahh, why do I pay tuition just to suffer with registering for courses! I'm screwed. I'm going to ask the professors on the first week to accept my tears and take pity on me as a last resort. I'm not joking. I won't be able to graduate at this rate..."

"Ah! I knew you were going to fail. Have you ever succeeded in registering for a course since freshman year? Why are you making a fuss as if you're surprised?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Really, have you ever succeeded in getting a spot?"

"I guess not?"

"I had registered for Professor Lee Gyeongsu's course as insurance. I'll give it to you."

It was surprising there were so many customers here at the PC cafe early in the morning, but it seemed to be because it was course registration season.

The two bantered for a while as they registered for their courses. As such, Sugyeom had thought the first woman's interest in him had died, but instead she comforted the woman named Minhui before turning her attention back to him again.

"Great...Thank you, thank you... As expected, you haven't lost your touch from the time you were an idol fanatic...The god of ticketing, the grape collector, Yuha is the best."

(Note: Ticketing means concert tickets. Grape means the thing you have to click on to buy tickets on Interpark.)

"Ah, yes. Go ahead and praise me. Anyway, you know the celebrity that I was a fan of in high school?"

"Weren't you obsessed with one or two back then?"

"Ah, but even so, you know who caused me the most heartache? The really pretty guy from U-PITE."

U-PITE. Just the mere mention of it made Sugyeom's nose twitch. He wanted to leave because he felt a knot in his stomach and thought he would cry. However, he couldn't because a customer had just come in.

Hearing about U-PITE pained him, but without realizing it, he concentrated on their conservation.

The fact that there was someone who had remembered his story, which had once shone brightly, was comforting in the midst of the sad truth.

"Oh, I know. You're talking about him, right? The pretty guy with pink hair."

"Ah, right! Doesn't that part-time worker over there look like him?"

"Is that so? Well...Oh, hey, they do look alike. I guess that's him?"

"Eh, no way. Although U-PITE went under, would he be working at a PC cafe? He would have made a lot of money."

"Well, you're right...Even failed celebrities could still eat and live well with the money they had earned."

Sugyeom forced himself to hold back his laughter. Only a few failed celebrities ate and lived well. And, it would be funny to say such celebrities had actually failed.

It was especially worse for idols that became idol trainees at a young age and didn't go to school properly. Finding a stable job was like grabbing a star in the sky, and it was commonplace for them to barely make a living working part-time.

Unfortunately, Sugyeom was the latter.

"Ha, why did my Sugyeom do that...aye. Crazy, I'll say. He should have taken advantage of that pretty face. Why did he suddenly catch 'Military Disease'...tsk, he sabotaged his own fortune."

(Note: Military Disease/남자병 is usually a term idol fans use to describe cute/pretty idols who grow a beard, tan themselves, or pack on muscles.)

One of the women talking to herself was like a dagger stabbing at Sugyeom.

He bit his plump lips. Hearing his past through other people's mouths cruelly made it all too real.

Everything the woman who was once his fan had said was true.

Attention had been drawn to his pretty face since the beginning of his debut as an idol.

Not only did the agency push for his coupling, but also among the fans he was intertwined with practically every member. Such was the role of a 'bottom.'

"Hey, let's go now. I have to be at my part-time job later, so I need to get some sleep."

"Okay. Don't forget to give me your spot."

"Of course. But you pay for the PC cafe's bill."

"Deal! That's only fair."

The two women stood up. In order to avoid the glare of the two approaching the counter to pay, Sugyeom put on his hat again and lowered his head deeply.

"I'll pay the bill."

They held out their computer pin cards and a check card side by side.

Sugyeom didn't raise his head and only received their cards as he finished the payment quickly. After the two completely disappeared out of the door, he still kept his head down. It was like he was a person who was guilty of something.

"...Ha."

It wasn't until a long time later that he breathed a sigh of regret. It was because of the remark, 'He should have taken advantage of that pretty face. Why did he suddenly catch 'Military Disease'...tsk, he sabotaged his own fortune' that kept ringing in his head.

That was exactly what had happened. He had sabotaged his own fortune.

At first, his pretty face had caught people's attention, but he didn't like what had happened afterwards when he kept hearing about his coupling with other members just because of his pretty face. It was even more so because his role was that of a 'bottom' rather than 'top.'

He was confident in his skills as a singer, but no one seemed to care. Not only that, ridiculous rumors began to emerge.

That he was really gay, or that his pretty face was actually the result of getting hit by hormones, or that he even bribed to earn his debut, and so on...

In the end, two years after his debut and before the group's first featured album was to be released, he exercised like crazy to build up his body despite the agency's dissuasion. And since he wanted to pack on muscles but was naturally skinny, he forcefully gained weight.

He completely tanned his fair skin, ruining it in the process. It was also impossible to grow a complete beard, so he inevitably settled for a mustache.

Although he had the largest fandom and couldn't realistically be kicked out, even the CEO of the agency came forward and asked him to quit U-PITE if he was going to do this to himself.

"What an idiot. The fans like it, so just play along. Why are you so stubborn?"

It was a regret he had experienced countless times, but nevertheless, it still hurt as if it was the first time.

He smiled deprecatingly at himself as he quickly wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes with the back of his hand.

The official fan club and the unofficial fan pages were turned upside down on the day the music video teaser for U-PITE's first featured album was released.

It wasn't the full music video, but nearly half of the pre-ordered albums had been canceled. The fan club was so critical that it was indistinguishable from an anti-fan club.

There were some suggestions to wait a little longer because the full music video hadn't been released yet, and it was even before their live performance, but even that didn't last long.

Following everything, the results were disastrous.

Unlike the second mini-album that was nominated for the top spot on cable music broadcasts, the first featured album was difficult to find on any ranking charts.

In the end, Sugyeom hurriedly shaved his mustache, whitened his tanned skin, and even lost weight to return to his original appearance. However, at that time, another member's secret love affair emerged.

It would have been fortunate if it ended there.

Another member was revealed to be actually gay, and it was later discovered that he had even used drugs.

Then, rumors of discord among members, sex scandals, character controversies, and even assault disputes.

Not counting Sugyeom, the other four members made foolish decisions one after another.

In the end, U-PITE fell into the abyss a year after their debut and broke into pieces.

That was already five years ago. Sugyeom naturally lost contact with the other members, and he couldn't even tell if they were dead or alive.

Sugyeom was a trainee for six arduous years before his debut, so he couldn't attend middle school properly and had even dropped out of high school. There was no way he could have made friends in the process.

And, it was too short of a time since his debut to make celebrity friends.

As a result, Sugyeom, who was originally an orphan, didn't have any friends to reach out to.

Even counting the money he had earned in the one year, there was so much he had to spend on since his days as a trainee that his account didn't even amount to 10 million won.

Sugyeom himself hadn't committed any crime, but he was unable to make a comeback as a celebrity due to his image of a failed idol. In addition, there were no employment opportunities. He was literally gasping for air.

He had to live somehow, so he had managed to continue his life by moving from one part-time job to another. For as long as five years.

The more he thought about it, the more he was amazed. Who knew that life would be so twisted by a moment's mistake.

Having recalled the past, the feeble Sugyeom stood absentmindedly at the counter.

At that moment, chat orders appeared on his screen that read, 'Ramen,' 'Ramen,' and 'Hurry up.'

Naturally, such was the reality for him now.

* * *

Sugyeom precariously walked up a flight of stairs. After emptying a bottle of soju at a convenience store, he was on his way home from work.

His home was a half-studio apartment located at a villa atop a slope.

"I'll really give it my all if I'm given another chance."

Sugyeom's desperate voice rang softly in the quiet streets.

"I'll really...I'll really do my best."

Words no one could hear quickly faded in the cold wind.

"Bottom coupling, pretty member, or whatever...I'll do it all without complaints."

He knew. Such an opportunity would never come again. He knew, but under the influence of alcohol, he whispered his wish quietly.

"So, just once...Just give me one chance."

The murmurs of his voice gradually grew quieter. He knew it would never come true, so he didn't dare wish out loud.

"Huh, ah...!"

At that moment, he lost his balance at the end of the steep stairs. He thought he should hold onto something, but in his drunken state his body didn't listen.

Eventually, he fell down the long flight of stairs.