CH 22

Chapter 22 – Snow In Spring

Enduring Winter

The male technician was a whole head shorter than Pei Tingsong, and in front of him, he seemed to shrink even more. He could only smile awkwardly and answer, “Ah… Nothing, just felt that it’s a bit of a pity.”

“Really?” Pei Tingsong laughed innocently. “Why is it a pity when boys are beautiful? I don’t quite understand this kind of logic; it can’t be that you have to be born unattractive in order to deserve any praise?”

Plainly it was a very friendly question, but nevertheless, a cold sweat broke out on this technician’s back. He had just seen the power this young male idol wielded, for even the big photographer had deigned to listen to him. “That’s not what I meant…”

“I see what you mean.” Pei Tingsong released the hand he had on his shoulder. “It’s not a pity at all for a boy to be born good-looking, and being good-looking also doesn’t mean that there’s ‘no wonder’ something might happen. You wanted to say that, right?”

“Right, right.”

Pei Tingsong nodded in pretend seriousness. “Very good, then our thinking is quite similar.” Letting out a sigh, he said, “I actually thought that the person who was talking was just some low-class straight man who was playing dirty tricks. I had even raised my knife up already, but I didn’t expect it to just be words from friendly forces ah.”

“Then I’ll just take my knife back ba, to avoid any accidental injuries.” Pei Tingsong laughed. “I’m a famously obnoxious person. When I take action, my impact is very heavy.”

Then he put both his hands in his pockets, turned away, and left.

After listening to all this, the two staff members were already dripping in cold sweat. Most of the people in the circle knew that Pei Tingsong was not someone to tangle with. That had been established as a fact from before, much less now that he had become popular. However, they had thought that Pei Tingsong was just like rumor said and didn’t get along with Fang Juexia; they totally hadn’t expected him to come out and take action. But in any case, they didn’t want to end up losing their jobs because of their stupid mouths, so they could only resentfully eat this setback and go hide to one side.

As it was getting late, the orange sunset drifted down into the fir trees, and the snow was set afire under the twilight.

Pei Tingsong had now gotten warm, and so he walked a few steps toward the shooting site. From a distance, he could see Fang Juexia, who was wearing a black sweater, walk forward continuously under Lin Mo’s guidance.

“Good, now turn your head and smile.”

At that moment, he saw Fang Juexia look back, and his smile looked even brighter than the light reflecting off the white snow. 

Stepping steadily on the snow, he kept walking closer towards him, and it seemed as if his gaze was already out of his consciousness’ control, as it tracked Fang Juexia’s figure through the gaps revealed in the crowd.

Snow covered him from head to foot, and his face glowed with the vivid color of his blood under the light of snow and sky. As soon as he looked up, the red at the corner of his eye spread out, like a wound. His clear eyes were half covered by his snowy eyelashes, and in the close-up shot, his infiltrated eyes reflected that snowy-white color, giving a transparent feel, looking just like ice about to melt.

Lin Mo directed from the side, “Walk back inside, Juexia.”

Based on his words, Fang Juexia headed into the snowy fir forest step by step, and did not stop until he was told to, which was upon reaching a fir tree.

“Turn around, hide half of your body behind the tree, then lean over some more.” Lin Mo held his camera while instructing, “Yes, only expose half of your face.”

Pei Tingsong also started walking in that very direction, although he didn’t know why he wanted to walk over there. Maybe it was because he was curious, just like those times when he was a child and had wondered whether life could be seen within the broken-off section of dead branches.

“Your eyes, they’re a bit too cold now. They need to have a bit of emotion, tap into your instincts…”

Photographers always spoke very abstractly. Fang Juexia didn’t know exactly what kind of feeling it was that he was describing, and just felt confused. This was a strange concept; he didn’t know what it was like to be imprisoned, or what instincts he was supposed to have. 

Pei Tingsong went to Lin Mo’s side and looked at Fang Juexia from Lin Mo’s perspective.

“Look over here, yes.”

Fang Juexia’s gaze had indeed fallen onto another person.

Pei Tingsong’s eyes shifted away from the camera, and he raised his head to see Fang Juexia standing not far away. That pair of beautiful eyes looked straight at him as ever before, whilst carrying the same final resistance those dead branches of his childhood had.

“Yes, just like that,” Lin Mo’s voice carried a hint of surprise as he said this, and he quickly seized the opportunity to take a few photos before checking the results.

“Very good, even though this look isn’t the same as what I had in mind, but it is really good.” Lin Mo was so pleased with himself that he brought it over to Pei Tingsong to view as well, while praising, “Look, how is that? This face is too photogenic, and it’s even more expressive than I thought. He could switch jobs to become a model.”

In the picture, Fang Juexia was half-covered by dark tree trunks. The left exposed half of his face had a calm expression, and his red birthmark was the only color in this field of black and white. The eye that was revealed shone with a clear light, just like a reflection of the shining moon cast on top of a frozen pond. 

This was the hard-to-come-by emotion that Lin Mo had been talking about—the last struggle put up by Winter before he fell into a trap. 

However, this struggle was akin to a thin layer of fragile ice, and it would be shattered with just a gentle pinch. Once the warm currents invaded, this winter would no longer have any place left to hide. He would only be forced to melt, to strip himself bare, and thereby reveal his original shape.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Pei Tingsong had been engrossed in the picture, and only after being asked did he return to his senses and nodded as he replied, “It is very good. He’s very suitable.”

He looked up and then over at the person being discussed, only to see that Fang Juexia was already wrapped in a big coat and was laughing quietly because of the staff member’s teasing. He also reached out and plucked off half of the leaves on the assistant’s head.

Pei Tingsong could not deceive himself anymore; when connecting this person in front of him right now with those rumors of the past, another voice appeared in his heart. 

Maybe, at the bottom of his heart, he had never really believed those rumors. He had just been trying to find a valid reason to alienate himself from this person, just the way this person had kept him at a distance. 

Whether the voice was right or wrong, he already couldn’t judge. Their prejudice and stubbornness evident on both sides had already pulled the distance between them too far. 

The last bit of light in the sky disappeared. As the setting sun jumped into the snowy forest, annihilating the scene behind Fang Juexia, Lin Mo used his camera to preserve it. 

“Troubled all of you.” Fang Juexia, who had finished his photoshoot, bowed to the staff, and walked back on uneven steps while dressed in his down jacket. When he came to a stand by Pei Tingsong’s side, he didn’t say a word.

At this moment, Pei Tingsong even felt that something was blocking his heart.

“Hey, are you not afraid of falling over when walking so fast ah?”

After he said that, he felt a little regretful. It was as if he had done something on his own initiative, as if he had helped Fang Juexia in his heart while accompanying him all the way back to the garage.

However the other party didn’t even turn his head while replying, “Not walking fast.” 

Back in the studio, Fang Juexia stamped his feet while looking at his own pictures. He had been freezing in the snow for so long that his limbs had all turned numb.

Pei Tingsong saw that his nose and ears were all red from the cold, that his cheeks were also bright red, and that he kept rubbing his hands together. Pei Tingsong wanted to give Fang Juexia the hand warmer he had passed to himself before, but when he put his hand into his pocket, he realized that the pocket was warm, but the hand warmer didn’t contain any warmth any more.

“This one is good, and so is this one.” Lin Mo was very satisfied. “You could even create a MV using your highlights video, the artistic conception is very good. These are the cleanest major pictures I’ve taken recently.”

Fang Juexia was a little embarrassed after being praised. “Thank you…”

“You don’t have to thank me, you are very photogenic. Basically, we didn’t waste any film, and that’s very rare. And your temperament is very special, it’s actually really a pity you didn’t become a model.”

Fang Juexia was neither good at being sociable nor did he like being sociable. In the face of getting so much praise heaped onto himself, he wasn’t sure about how to deal with it. Like a robot, he scoured his barren database for words that could be applied to this situation.

Just when he was struggling, his hand was suddenly grabbed. Fang Juexia instinctively turned his head and saw Pei Tingsong standing beside him. His frozen fingers were then suddenly wrapped up in warmth.

It was Pei Tingsong who had grabbed his hand and stuffed it into his warm coat pocket.

“I also think the same, and I even took out my cellphone just now to take two pictures.” Pei Tingsong freely stuck himself into the conversation and changed the subject as he said, “The snow scenery here is also very beautiful, it’s like adding flowers to brocade.” Then he looked at Fang Juexia and asked with a smile, “Right?”

Fang Juexia still hadn’t pulled away from this unexpected gesture, so just replied, “En…”

“Your handwarmer has already gone cold.” Pei Tingsong didn’t look at him before continuing to whisper, “Just put up with this ba.”

So it was because of this reason.

He’d just put up with it then.

Fang Juexia chewed over Pei Tingsong’s words repeatedly in his heart. His thought process was simple and straightforward, and he often couldn’t understand the meaning of Pei Tingsong’s words immediately. However, this didn’t impact the confusion he was experiencing in his mind. It seemed that his brain and his heartbeat had already established their own individual systems and were no longer related to each other.

His frozen fingers gradually regained feeling, and the heat from the other hand seeped into his skin, surging through his capillaries and flowing into his fingertips.

That was the warmth of another person.

Every word spoken by Pei Tingsong was akin to a trap gleaming with cold light. He was already used to avoiding it, so he tried to break free every time, although it ended up being in vain every such time. 

He was still hesitating over whether to pull his hand away when Pei Tingsong went ahead and released the hand holding his wrist, depriving him of even the chance to break free.

In this small, narrow, and warm pocket, were two wildly different souls squeezed together. 

All the photos that had been taken were roughly confirmed, and without taking any time to rest, everyone ate something casually while they were in the car as they immediately rushed to the two-person photoshoot site. Both of their styles were changed for this; they wore the same type of shirt now, but Pei Tingsong’s was black, while Fang Juexia’s was white. However, Fang Juexia’s shirt was a bit too big for him, so he wore it a little loose.

This time, the set for the photoshoot was very simple. The studio’s floor just contained a bed covered with white velvet, which looked very soft.

Fang Juexia, who was dazed upon looking at this bed, heard Pei Tingsong chuckling and joking carelessly, “I didn’t expect the first bed scene in my life to arrive so quickly.”

Fang Juexia couldn’t laugh.

He couldn’t imagine how a two-person cover for a big-name magazine could be taken on a bed.

Seeing Lin Mo enter the studio, Pei Tingsong, who was full of curiosity, immediately asked, “What position should we do? Me and Juexia Ge.”

As soon as he said that, the little Jiejies from the props group, who had walked over, all covered their mouths and started to laugh. Pei Tingsong didn’t know what was going on, and so looked at Fang Juexia doubtfully. On some occasions, this boy who grew up abroad would occasionally use the wrong word because of a situation mismatch, even though he had high literacy accomplishments and a strong learning ability.

Fang Juexia didn’t know how to explain it, so he simply said, “The word position can’t be used casually.”

Pei Tingsong, with an innocent expression on his face, asked why. Fang Juexia didn’t want to answer because he didn’t want to discuss adult topics while the ensemble show camera was following them around and have it get recorded for the ensemble show broadcast. 

“Why?” Pei Tingsong asked again.

Fang Juexia said helplessly, “I don’t know, stop asking.”

Pei Tingsong frowned., “You don’t know, and you’re still talking about me?”

Fang Juexia: “…”

Lin Mo didn’t allow them with much time to discuss this “position” issue. After discussing the lighting problem with the lighting supervisor, he called Fang Juexia over and asked him to lie down on the big velvet bed. Fang Juexia’s attitude towards work was serious, so he just lay on the bed without saying a word.

“Turn your head, face this way, yes.”

After confirming Fang Juexia’s position, Lin Mo told Pei Tingsong, “You, turn to face the other way and lie down.” He also made a gesture of turning around.

For some reason, another burst of laughter f spread through the surrounding staff. Pei Tingsong felt that all of this was inexplicable, but it was work after all, so he still did what Lin Mo instructed.

“Xiao Pei, go down, go down some more. Your head needs to be near Juexia’s head. Yes, place your heads to the side, face to face.”

Upon hearing the instruction to lie on his side, Fang Juexia, who was lying on his back, consciously turned his face, but this action made the distance between them shrink to nearly nothing. The tip of his nose almost touched the bridge of Pei Tingsong’s nose, so he immediately shrank back and pretended that nothing had happened.

They were half curled up on their sides, lying on this big, circular velvet bed, their bodies a bit staggered from each other, with their faces close together, whilst they were facing one another. 

“Still not close enough.” Lin Mo stepped forward and adjusted them himself while explaining, “I need the lines of both your side profiles to give off a sense of fitting together. The kind where, if you compress this distance to the very minimum, you would fit together perfectly. Understand?”

Lin Mo was only describing the effect he wanted to achieve, but this description was inevitably intriguing.

“Especially the straight line of the bridge of the nose, I hope you guys can be parallel here, with one person’s body going from top to bottom of the bed, while the other’s body is in the reverse direction, going bottom to top.”

Pei Tingsong and Fang Juexia kept drawing closer under his request, like two meteors on mutually exclusive paths. They leaned into each other as if they were doing tai chi, and their bodies seemed to extend in opposite directions. Even when they were in balance, they were the unity of opposites.

“Very good, just like that.” Lin Mo went far away from the big bed and checked the position again. “Very good, bring out the props.”

Pei Tingsong naively asked, “There are even props?” The people around him laughed again, and even Cheng Qiang helplessly supported his forehead with his hand.

Fang Juexia, the one closest to him, just wanted to shut him up.

The props group brought out a long green vine. There seemed to be flowers on it, but they hadn’t bloomed yet and were just small buds.

“What is this?” Fang Juexia reached out and touched it.

The staff member hadn’t even opened his mouth before Pei Tingsong spoke up, “Honeysuckle.” 

Fang Juexia was a little surprised at his strange knowledge base and asked, “How do you know?”

“When I was a kid, there were some in my home’s garden.” Pei Tingsong’s answer was very simple.

Honeysuckle.

Fang Juexia recited the name in his heart and thought it was very wonderful. The wonderful part was how well it fit with the concept, and also seemed to exceed it.

They twined the green honeysuckle vine around Fang Juexia and Pei Tingsong, and they kept going up, all the way up to Pei Tingsong’s arms, making it seem as if these vines had grown out of Pei Tingsong.

“I feel like a tree spirit.”

“Nope, not that, you’re a flower fairy.” Andy fixed several clematises using hair gel on Pei Tingsong’s head, and then placed flowers on his ears, shoulders, and arms.

Lin Mo came to the bed again to help them get into the right arrangement. “Xiao Pei, hold the back of his neck with your hand.”

Pei Tingsong understood what he meant very quickly. His arm went around the back of Fang Juexia’s head and grasped his slender neck.

“Very good.” Lin Mo leaned against his chair and took a picture. “Make your expressions more natural, look at each other.”

But even after several attempts, none of the pictures reached the feeling Lin Mo wanted. He always felt that there was something that didn’t breathe well in the pictures. “Something’s still missing, there’s not enough tension. Xiao Pei, relax a bit.”

Not knowing why, Fang Juexia once again thought of the honeysuckle. He silently recited the word “endure” in his heart, and a new idea arose. He sat up and looked at Lin Mo before saying, “Mr. Lin, I have some ideas.”

Cheng Qiang, who was standing to the side, was a little surprised that it was Fang Juexia, and not Pei Tingsong, who had opened his mouth.

After all, in his limited memory, Fang Juexia didn’t have the kind of personality that could easily put forward his own opinions.

Having had the experience of his original plans being overturned by Pei Tingsong several times by now, Lin Mo had already become used to this working method, and so said, “Speak.”

“I saw the honeysuckle, and I thought of an issue. We seem to have made a hypothesis at the beginning of the shoot.”

Pei Tingsong, who was still lying on the bed, looked up at the sitting Fang Juexia. All of his words carried rigorous logic.

“We have been assuming this entire time that in this sort of confinement, it is Winter that has to endure, but what about Spring?”

From Pei Tingsong’s perspective, Fang Juexia’s eyes were looking up, and with the light hitting him at the right angle, his whole face seemed to shine brightly. “Then what if we break this a priori condition and look at this relationship again?”

While speaking, Fang Juexia’s snow white eyelashes fluttered. “In fact, Spring is also enduring something ba.“

The appearance of this sentence struck straight into the ground and caused Pei Tingsong’s heart to leap all of a sudden.

What does Spring endure?

—Endures personal gains and losses, and endures wanting but not getting. 

—Endures the fact that as soon as he draws close, he has to watch as Winter melts and loses his original form with his own eyes. 

He had to admit, at this moment, he was emotionally eclipsed by Fang Juexia’s point of view. He realised that Fang Juexia wasn’t just a silent formula, and his spirit was actually hidden within the rules of arrangement and combination.

The resonance of inspiration during any creation process is silent. Lin Mo reached out with his index finger and pointed at Fang Juexia several times in a row. “Yes, you are right. This kind of mutual emotion is right.”

Tension didn’t always have to mean the display of restraint and resistance in a situation where daggers were drawn, it could also be that desperate desire to draw close to the ice and snow, but unfortunately, because of reason, he had to endure. Logically, Winter knew he had to avoid warmth, but he still couldn’t control that heart of his that wanted to pounce on Spring.

Fang Juexia lay down again.

Having thoroughly understood the concept, this time, Pei Tingsong did not reach out to grasp the back of his neck, but instead backed away a little. He reached out to the side of Fang Juexia’s cheek with his hand, his fingers looking long and clean. His fingertips then pulled at the muscles and veins at the back of his hand, and the illusion of him enduring something came into being. 

All of a sudden, Fang Juexia called out Andy’s name. When he came over, Fang Juexia asked, “Can his hands be painted with frostbite?”

“Frostbite?” Andy’s eyelashes flickered.

“En, and not just that.” Fang Juexia continued, “Please wrap some more of the honeysuckle vine around me, all the way, stretching up to just beneath my chin. Then Andy Ge, please draw some small cuts on my neck and face, just like I have been cut by the honeysuckle vine.”

“En!” Lin Mo hurried to nod even before he had the chance to swallow the coffee in his mouth. “Yes, yes, this is very good.”

“Why?” Pei Tingsong actually knew the answer, but still wanted to ask.

Fang Juexia replied simply and plainly, “Only those who have paid the price can be termed as having endured something.”

He wasn’t just a beautiful waste of skin, Pei Tingsong had to admit.

Everything was carried out in accordance with the design they had discussed just now, and Lin Mo was very satisfied. He needed to connect the theme of this two-person photoshoot with the solo pictures he had taken before, so he sprinkled eustoma petals, which had featured in the previous photographs, between Pei Tingsong and Fang Juexia.

The camera was then focused on the scene, and he felt that everything was in place. “Very good, let’s start.”

In the close-up focus shot of the camera lens, there were two side profiles. They were pressed close together, but they also seemed to be resisting one another. Pei Tingsong’s hand was stretched out, his fingers blue from frostbite. His fingertips were only a milimeter away from Fang Juexia, but he couldn’t touch him. Even in a static frame, it seemed as though his hands were shaking. 

Bound from top to bottom by the spring-charged honeysuckle, looking seemingly completely enclosed by a woven green cage, Fang Juexia had his eyes closed and was frowning slightly, seeming to be too exhausted to even breath. 

The birthmark at the corner of his left eye was the only color on his face. It was like a petal, and also like a cruel scar. It was mirroring Pei Tingsong, who lay opposite him and had a fallen winter-flowering cherry petal at the same location. 

When Lin Mo pressed the shutter—

Fang Juexia, with his eyes closed, revealed a delicate smile. 

It was no accident that the editor-in-chief of the magazine designated this photo as the cover on the spot. There was absolutely no need to choose any more; experience and instinct told him that this was the best one. What made it good was that this Spring, who had long wanted to monopolize and engulf Winter, was holding onto the last bit of his control with great difficulty.  

What made it even better was that this Winter, who had been imprisoned and abused, was finally willing to be happy in his own degeneration.