#033 – Call me Nana, the mad scientist!

#033 – Call me Nana, the mad scientist!

I took another sip of the Tempor Juice I’d gotten from the second floor’s boss and let out a satisfied sigh.

“Still tastes great, chat. But I can’t really tell at all if it did anything... Let’s see...”

I extended my hand and with a quick flip of the mental switch, my fused sword was in my hand again.

“Alright! Looks like it did work.” I nodded with a smile. “I still can’t tell how much Tempor I have at all, though. It’s so weird... And it’s weird that it’s weird. It’s weird that I’m used to feeling some magical energy in the first place, you know?”

I paused my rambling as I took the last slice of the pizza – I was very hungry, okay? – from my magical pizza box and eyed it with narrowed eyes.CHeCk for new stories on no/v/el/bin(.)c0m

I chewed and swallowed before continuing. “...Anyway, I guess I should figure out how to refill my pizza. I hope it’s somewhat automatic, cuz I have no idea how to direct Tempor the same way I move Ether.”

I closed the pizza box and rested a hand on top of it with a frown while taking another bite of my last slice.

I tried focusing on my Ether first, since I knew how to do that, and the box greedily took it when I offered it. In fact, it took quite a lot of it and I still couldn’t tell whether it was taking Tempor as well or not.

“...This is pretty expensive, chat... Ugh, now I’m gonna have to be even more careful with my Ether.” I grimaced, thinking about the bottle of refined ooze I’d been forced to fully use during the last floor.

“Is it even doing anything, or...?”

I opened the box and blinked in surprise when I discovered half of the pizza back inside the box, still hot and smelling delicious.

I grinned.

“Heck yeah! Quick life hack for infinite pizza! Delivery boys hate her!” I giggled before continuing to chomp on my pizza.

My eyes glided over the ensuing messages in the group chat and I hummed and giggled to some of them. I even replied to some of them, pretending that they had come from real people.

Deep inside, I knew that none of it truly mattered in the end...

I shook my head.

“Anyway! There’s still some stuff I could try merging... Hmm...”

Jeofffff: hold on I have an idea

Jeofffff: the gold coin gives a skill point right

Jeofffff: so what if you fuse it with pizza

Jeofffff: can you farm skill points by eating it?

My eyes went wide and I made an excited noise at the back of my throat.

“Oh, that would be so broken!” I exclaimed, silently thanking my subconscious for coming up with the idea and the Streamer skill presenting it to me via the chat.

I shook my head again, trying to purge that way of thinking.

“Or, maybe it just turns the pizza golden. That would kinda suck, but eh... I can always just split them apart again. Let’s try it!”

I grabbed my trusty bucket, chomped on some ooze – god, I was really getting tired of that – and began the experiment. First, I pulled out the gold coin from the wallet and appraised it again just to check the wording to see if I could predict the results of the fusion.

Fate Weaver coin (gold)

A second highest denomination divine coin made by the Fate Weaver. A hundred gold coins can be fused into a single platinum coin with the use of Ether. This item can be consumed to gain 1 skill point.

I hummed and turned to my precious pizza box with a frown.

“Actually, it’s a consumable... Just like the popsicle. Even if the fusion gives me skill points, it’s probably going to be limited like my bracelet,” I rationalized.

Still, it couldn’t hurt to try. So I shrugged, grabbed both the coin and the pizza box, and prepared to use Fusion on them.

But for some reason, it wouldn’t let me. I flipped the mental switch over and over, but the coin refused to turn into pure energy like it should.

“It’s, uh... not working, chat... It’s not letting me use Fusion on this.”

I lifted the coin up and frowned at it from up close. It looked the same as always. Infinity – or eight – symbol on one side, and ominous evil eyes on the other side. There didn’t seem to be anything special about this thing. But clearly, there was. After all, the Fusion sub-skill worked on everything else, including key items that always seemed more important than others.

Jeofffff: damn

KaiEbikoOfficial: at least you don’t have to eat gold now

GeorgeDoshington: no gold pizza sadge

Jeofffff: its a system item so its not letting you?

“System item...” I murmured.

I’d thought the coins were just the currency of this world, save for the whole skill point business... But for a coin to grant a skill point when used, it had to be somehow integrated into the system, wouldn’t it? Kind of like the tickets. Those were definitely tightly tied to the system.

I stared out into the room and my eyes caught a random chair in the corner. Then I had a wild thought.

“Well... Let’s test that theory...” I murmured.

As far as I could tell, everything in this dungeon – save for the monsters – was pretty much indestructible. And since dungeons gave out these coins and so many of the system’s achievements were tied to dungeons as well, it was safe to assume dungeons were directly related to the system. Meaning that everything inside would be a system item as well... or something.

“The only problem is that this thing is way too bulky and I can’t even put it back into the sheath...”

GeorgeDoshington: u can youll just look stupid lol

FouxMoux: hold on

FouxMoux: what if you fuse it while the sword is still in the sheath?

I frowned.

“Why would I do that... Wait...” I tilted my head and stared at the sheath still at my hip. “Do you think I could make Fusion count both as the same item? Hmm...”

Again, it didn’t hurt to try. All it cost me was having to stomach more of that ooze. But that was fine. This was for science, after all!

And making myself stronger so I wouldn’t die. That too.

So with that decided, I split the mop from the sword again, munched on some goo, sheathed the sword, and got ready to fuse the two again. The mop turned into an orange blob and got absorbed into the sword once more. I could see the sword’s form elongating before it settled into the same naginata-esque form it had before.

Except now, there was a sheath over its blade.

“Err... Well, that didn’t really do much... Is it supposed to be like this? It looks weird.”

SunOfABeach: it is, actually

“...Really?” I asked, skeptically. “How do I carry it then? On my back?”

SunOfABeach: naginatas and other polearms are usually carried in hand

SunOfABeach: the sheath is just for safety

“Right...”

Well, I couldn’t expect the product of my subconscious to know all the life hacks.

Still, I probably looked very silly, carrying around a stick that was double my height. Especially since my body was still that of a kid.

“Well, alright then. I’ll have to first test this against some zombies, but I like it so far.” I placed the thing back on a table and turned to all the other stuff still left. “Now... anything else I can make...?”

I briefly glanced at the puddle of juice on the floor again with another sad frown before stopping.

I didn’t wanna drink that anymore but... It could still be useful, couldn’t it?

“How about I...” I quickly considered my options and then grabbed the key again, squatted down, and touched the puddle with my other hand. I used Fusion on it and the puddle of liquid transformed into a puddle of shifting purple energy, just as I had expected.

“Alright... Now... Last time I fused a Tempor item with something, it made me a trump card, so let’s see...”

The key absorbed the blob, flashed, glitched, and then abruptly snapped back to its new form... which looked identical to the normal gate key.

I eyed it suspiciously and shot Appraisal at it.

Golden gate key + Tempor juice (fused)

A fusion of two objects.

[INNATE] skill: Quick Fetch - Use a tiny amount of Tempor to teleport this item back into your hand from anywhere.

This object is a Key item.

I stared for a moment and huffed.

“It’s exactly the same as before, chat. I was hoping for... something. Ah, well...”

Jeofffff: it’s different tho

“How is it different?” I raised an eyebrow. Not that anyone could see that.

Jeofffff: it used to say small amount of Tempor

Jeofffff: now it’s tiny

I opened my mouth, then closed it, and then sighed.

“That’s... true. Didn’t even see that... Ugh, I was hoping for something more exciting, though...”

GeorgeDoshington: so spoiled lol

KaiEbikoOfficial: it’s better than nothing

I huffed.

“I guess! Look, you guys can’t tell me that you weren’t expecting something awesome!” I yelled, momentarily forgetting that in a way, they were me. “Whatever! Good enough! Let’s move on!”

Once again, I glanced around the table to see if I could still make something useful.

“...I don’t think anything I can make will be all that exciting, though. Well, it’s fine. I can still experiment. And then, I better learn how to channel Ether without Craftsman or this thing will feel like a waste.” I glanced at my glove and wiggled my fingers.

trelipideliberitation: training montage incoming