CH 37

Ke Jin’s condition flared too abruptly. As this was the interns’ first time encountering this, they were all thrown aback, standing frozen to the spot, unsure what to do or how to move.

But his friends responded swiftly. This evidently wasn’t the first time that such a situation arose. 

A few went to hold him, a few pulled him, and one even shielded Ke Jin’s head, firmly separating him from the gravestone. However, Ke Jin completely lacked awareness of any of this. He was still fully immersed in his own world, continuing to knock his head against that person’s hand. The mantra spilling from his mouth never stopped for a single moment.

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s fine now.” Laura kept patting Ke Jin’s back as she reassured, “It’s all in the past. It’s all fine now, it has nothing to do with you.”

Luke and the others were utterly lost. “What’s the situation? Did… something happen?”

“Ah,” Freida quietly murmured. “I just thought of it. I heard that there was a senior from many batches before ours, who had developed a mental health condition after taking on a case…” 

Back when it happened, practically everyone in the profession had heard about Ke Jin’s situation. After all, before that case, he was an outstanding young lawyer with not a small amount of fame.

The people in their circle had divergent opinions regarding this. Some felt that his dedication to his work was commendable. He had a gentle disposition, was a good friend, and was a competitor deserving of respect.

Others conversely felt that he ‘fell too deeply into the narrative’. That he was too sentimental, bearing the same deep sympathy for both the accused and the victim in the case, and was actually unsuited for this line of work.

Truth be told, there were already people who had critiqued this in his schooling days. Back then, Ke Jin had just enrolled and still carried the greenness of inexperience and the lack of direction unique to students.

He had approached Yan Suizhi for a chat about this, once.

At that time, Yan Suizhi’s gaze rested quietly on him. He said, “This is actually an invaluable quality…”

“You are very kind. If there comes a day that you, because of your kind nature, get into a conflict with someone, or if it brings you any trouble; it will never be the fault of your kindness.”

“But, professor…” Ke Jin, then, was seated on the soft lounge sofa in the dean’s office. He took a reserved sip of the black tea that Yan Suizhi had poured for him before saying, “You’ve seen that sentence before, right? The one printed on the title page of ‘Beyond the Law’. It said that most of the time, those in this line are making deals with the devils in hell.” 

“Of course I’ve seen it. But this doesn’t mean that you have to turn yourself into a devil.” Yan Suizhi arched an eyebrow, placing the teaspoon on the saucer. “You need to be familiar with their ways of thinking, but you don’t have to become them. After a long time, you may not appear to be that good of a person. But you know. You’ll never be them.”

It was easy for young men to get frustrated, but it was also easy for them to bounce back.

And at that time, Ke Jin looked relieved of a heavy burden. He silently sipped his black tea, eventually asking, “So do you think I’m suitable for this profession?”

Yan Suizhi didn’t give a direct answer. Instead, he asked back, “Do you want to work in this profession?” 

Ke Jin, “Yes.”

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However, it was clear that Ke Jin became much more resolute since then, never doubting himself again.

That conversation was possibly a major motivator for him to go on to become a lawyer even after graduation. 

But some things were much easier said than done. There were many elements that were difficult to control, especially with regards to human emotion and psychology.

Because Ke Jin was kind and soft and ‘fell too deeply into the narrative’—the split second that his dream, what he aspired towards, wavered—it was all too easy for him to sink into a pit of contradictory feelings that tore him apart.

He came across a case two years ago, and the many holes in the partial evidence he gathered gave him great faith in his client’s innocence. Likewise, the other party also played the role of a blameless innocent who had stumbled into the quagmire by accident; Ke Jin was his last hope.

For this, he had pleaded not guilty on the behalf of his client, and the jury ultimately made the same decision he did. 

Saving yet another person from gross injustice and exonerating their name kept the gentle Ke Jin happy for many days.

But three months later, he inadvertently discovered new traces, sufficient to prove that he had made a grievous error in judgement. That client wasn’t at all innocent—he was even more dangerous and vicious than what the prosecution had accused him of.

By the time the evidence was resubmitted to the police, the person in question was already at large and could not be found even to this day.

If Ke Jin was a seasoned lawyer able to ‘laugh with the devil’, he would probably only be vexed for a moment, then step in to help where he could to avoid the damage to their reputation. The repercussions would soon fade, and he’d be back on more expensive cases and fancier receptions, even framing it as an amusing little party story to laugh about over drinks. 

But Ke Jin wasn’t such a person.

His nature destined him to dwell for a long time over his misjudgement, beating himself up and struggling with his guilt.

And it was even worse than that in reality. After enduring two months of intense self-doubt and self-loathing, he eventually suffered from a mental breakdown.

The blow to his mental health didn’t cause him to go into such disarray initially, but afterwards, on a particular day, his condition abruptly grew critical. 

It was hard to pinpoint the exact cause that had aggravated his condition. However, it was widely rumoured that the man at large, Lee Connor, suddenly sent him a thank you message, rubbing salt into the wound and becoming the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

After his mental health worsened, Ke Jin stayed in a hospital for a week. Following which, a friend took him away. He didn’t show up in public eye again for a very long time. Only in the last half-year when his condition took a slight turn for the better, then was he able to make the occasional trip out.

Yan Suizhi had a vague impression of that friend. Aside from Gu Yan, Ke Jin, and the other former students who had come to pay respects to his grave, there was still another person he was acquainted with back in the law school.

Only, the other wasn’t from the law school. He was from the business school next door. A famously hedonistic rich second generation named Joe. 

Many people wondered how Gu Yan could be friends with a guy like that. They didn’t look like they would hit it off at all.

Yan Suizhi didn’t know how this came to be either, but he never paid attention to these things. Nevertheless, from the few interactions that they had, this guy was listed in Professor Yan’s dictionary as the ‘little fool’.

Prompted by Freida, a few of the other interns recalled it too. 

But they weren’t the type to gossip wildly without heeding time and place, so they merely exchanged a few words about Ke Jin’s situation and sighed sympathetically, running over to help.

Yan Suizhi also no longer leaned against the tree. He strode over, the smile gone from his face.

In fact, for a long time after hearing about what happened to Ke Jin, he would on occasion think back on the chat they had.

He didn’t regret saying those things to Ke Jin. He never really felt genuine regret towards anything he had done. But he regretted that he had only thought of encouragement at that time, and hadn’t given Ke Jin a word of reminder. 

For Ke Jin, he felt a subtle, yet shallow, trace of remorse.

“Do you need any help?”

“It’s okay, we got this. We’ve dealt with this before.” Ke Jin’s friends formed a protective circle around him, reassuring him ceaselessly. And sure enough, there wasn’t a place for Yan Suizhi and other suchlike strangers to step in either.

However, aside from them, there was another person standing away from the crowd. 

It was none other than Gu Yan.

Gu Yan obviously wasn’t someone who would be good at consoling others, but he didn’t stand idly by with his arms crossed either. He simply dialled a communication call.

The other side quickly connected. Gu Yan glanced at Ke Jin in the crowd. Barely giving the other a chance to speak, he cut straight to the point. “Ke Jin’s mental state is unstable. I’ll open a visual for you.”

A second later, a hologram was projected from Gu Yan’s smart device, and the face of a young man could be seen on it. He had cropped blonde hair that was longer in front, combed back with hair wax in a manner that made him appear exceptionally arrogant. 

Without needing to even look at his features, Yan Suizhi could recognise from the style alone that this was the same Joe.

Gu Yan directly turned the hologram before Ke Jin, and Joe’s voice came from the screen, speaking soothingly to Ke Jin. “Shh, shh—look at me, Ke Jin. Look at me. It’s fine, nothing’s wrong. I told you that I wouldn’t let you go alone, but you ended up sneaking back to De Carma without telling me anything. Look, just two days without me and your mood has turned for the worse again, right? Seriously, you and Gu Yan both. You’re such brooders, you need someone by your sides to help you let loose a little…”

Joe’s way of consoling was different from anyone else. He didn’t tiptoe quietly around at all. Instead, he talked conversationally to Ke Jin in the most relaxed and natural tone, even with a hint of lighthearted complaint like the other was listening to him.

He spoke for almost a minute before he started getting through to Ke Jin, lagging half a beat behind. The relentless knocking against the other person’s palm slowed to a stop, and he lifted his eyes to gaze at the hologram. 

And another moment later, his gaze finally focused.

Once Joe saw Ke Jin’s response from the hologram, he knew that his soothing had worked this time, and Ke Jin was returning to normal. Immediately, he exhaled in relief and shot Gu Yan a meaningful look.

Gu Yan moved the hologram even closer to Ke Jin. A few of the people holding onto him tentatively and slowly let go.

“…Apart from that, I’ve something else to tell you. I’m on the space shuttle now, I’ll arrive at De Carma’s port in twenty minutes.” 

After staying quiet for so long, Ke Jin finally responded in some other way. His eyes followed Joe’s movements for a moment, but he still looked a little dazed.

From the side, Gu Yan asked in his place, “What are you rushing to De Carma at this hour for?”

Joe wasn’t in a hurry to reply to him at first. He carefully studied Ke Jin, making sure that he had completely relaxed, then tried to poke fun at him while answering Gu Yan, “You don’t have much time, Ke Jin also ran away, with Laura and the rest as accomplices. I’m the one throwing the party yet you all cast me aside to Yaba Island without a word. What else can I do? Obviously, I’m here to personally escort all of you over.”

Forty minutes later, the rich second generation did as he promised with alacrity, making a beeline from his private port on De Carma to the cemetery. This young master also snatched up a doctor from who knows where and escorted Ke Jin up into a travel trailer. At the same time, he hauled that bunch of lawyers up the vehicle, including Gu Yan. 

After all, Gu Yan had already promised to leave the 3rd free for him.

Nestled in the trailer, Ke Jin stared blankly out of the windows. The windows were left half-open, in case he got too claustrophobic in the environment and started to panic again.

His eyes moved very slowly, gradually sweeping past the cemetery gates, the green ivy, and at last landing on Yan Suizhi, who was standing by the side of the road.

Yan Suizhi was looking at him as well. It was only a moment later when Yan Suizhi glimpsed his mirror reflection on the trailer window, that he realised he was frowning slightly. 

He smoothed the tension between his brows. As he thought of shifting his gaze away, he lifted his head and ended up locking eyes with Gu Yan.

Gu Yan, just about to step into the trailer, suddenly paused. He appeared to be hesitating slightly. Barely two seconds later, he patted Joe on the shoulder, then said, “There’s something I have to discuss with you.”