Chapter 179 - His Redemption

"You….what have you done?!" Mr. Ying bellowed angrily once he was alone with his wife.

"Why did you tell her? How can you spat such disgusting words at your daughter?! Even if you hate me, she is innocent. She doesn't deserve this." 

Mr. Ying tugged at his hair as frustration gnawed at his insides. 

Su Cha sat there with a nonchalant face but she knew she was anything but calm at the moment. She has always wanted to pour out the feelings she has bottled up for years but why wasn't she happy?

This is what she has always wanted right? Then why didn't she feel not even an ounce of satisfaction. Just like smoke her mind was in chaos taunting her, making her feel something was wrong. 

She wanted to pinpoint the cause for this unsettling feeling but failed. She just sat there, tears pricking her eyes, her hands trembling with sadness and regret.

"I told you our daughter was suicidal but you still went ahead and told her such cruel secrets! We came here to make it up to her not to break down this family!"

Su Cha's mind was in a swirl, like a puzzle she couldn't understand anything.

"I told you I was drugged that night. For years I tried making it up to you. I already liked someone why would I r.a.p.e you; my best friend?! You knew how much she meant to me. I would never do anything to hurt her but you're so selfish, caught up in your head that you're the only victim here.

I investigated that night and found out your parents planned all of this but I never told you! Even though your father is horrible he is still your father. I didn't want you to hate him so I took the blame. I stopped convincing you that I was drugged that night.

Didn't I give you everything you wanted? I even allowed you to be with that man.Do you want to know why I intentionally let you saw me f.u.c.k.i.n.g the maid? Or pushed you away?"

Su Cha lowered her head in her hands. No-no how can her parents do this? How can a father scheme against his daughter? So….all these years she has been blaming the wrong person.

"Guilt. Because of guilt. You think you're the only one who lost something that night? No! I also hated myself. I have become a rapist…..a monster."

Mr. Ying chuckled dryly. "But….you found out you're pregnant. I was happy I was just twenty at that time but I was excited that I was going to be a father. Ying Sheng might be your stain, but she is my redemption! I left home because I knew you hated me because of that I lost my relationship with my daughter."

Su Cha looked up at Mr. Ying and opened her mouth. But no words came out.

'What has she done?'

"I-I…."

"You better hope that nothing happens to my daughter or else….."

With that Mr. Ying walked out of the room leaving Su Cha alone with her thoughts.

Sobs racked through Su Cha's body as the words of Mr. Ying sunk in her head. Her own parents did this to her. They used her as a pawn in their quest for power.

Suddenly she realized she has become exactly like her parents. She has hurt her daughter, how does that makes her any different from her parents?

***************************

Ying Sheng had no idea how she reached the bar. It was not even night yet but here she was. Her mind was in chaos every word uttered by her mother rang in her ears like an alarm. 

So annoying. She wanted to snapped at them to stop. But she was failing miserably.

She wanted to know the truth but the truth was far cruel. Truth hurts they say and that wasn't a lie.

Her heart was pounding in her chest at the overwhelming thoughts that kept overcrowding her brain.

She doesn't deserve to be love. She was a shame. A stain in someone's life, how dare she ask to be loved? What right…..

"Miss, are you okay?" The bartender asked worriedly when he saw the tears on Ying Sheng's face and how pale her face is.

Ying Sheng chortled manically making the bartender frowned.

"Okay…..what does it mean to be okay?" Ying Sheng mumbled gulping down her vodka.

The bartender shook his head and heaved a sigh. He always see people who come here to drown their sorrows with alcohol so this was nothing new.

"Do you want more?" He asked arching his brows at her. This is her seventh shot already.

"Give me a whole bottle, no three bottles and a packet of cigarettes." Ying Sheng lips curved as she threw her credit card at the bartender.

The bartender shook his head and shrugged. Once Ying Sheng got her bottles of liquor and her cigarettes she took them to the rooftop of the bar.

There was no one around since the day was pretty early. She sat down on the cold hard floor as she popped the cap of the bottle open. 

"You were born out of r.a.p.e."

"You,  Ying Sheng is my biggest stain in life."

"How can you be cruel to ask me to love you!"

"Giving birth to you is enough punishment."

"You are an abomination undeserved of love."

Her mother's words kept racing in her mind.

Ying Sheng chuckled to herself taking another swig from her bottle.

"No one wants me."

"No one loves me, no….. I-I how dare I to think about being loved."

Ying Sheng sobbed feeling like someone were ruthlessly stomping on her heart. 

"Me. Ying Sheng…..I shouldn't have been born." 

Ying Sheng mumbled lifelessly as tears roamed  down her cheeks.

"Aahhh, ahhh it hurts." She mumbled numbly.

It hurts so badly. She wants the pain to stop. Why won't the pain stop? 

Maybe if she dies, it won't hurt anymore. After all, she wasn't supposed to be born.