Chapter 190 - Guilt

Author's Note: Please skip chapter if suicide makes your uncomfortable. Sorry.

With the help of Lucas's s superb driving skills they reached Liam's apartment ten minutes earlier.  The moment Lucas stopped the car, Liam ran towards the apartment and entered a series of code.

"Ying Sheng!" He called out but no one answered.

When Liam heard no answer, he grew more worried.

"Ying Sheng!" She wasn't responding. There was no way Ying Sheng would not respond to him unless he was too late…

The dead silence made him more anxious. There was something wrong, something was really wrong.

Liam rushed to her bedroom and saw the door was opened ajar. With his heart in his throat he stepped inside the room only to stop dead in his tracks.

The sight of blood pooling on the floor with Ying Sheng's lifeless body lying in it made his blood turn cold.

His face turned ashen as he grew light headed. Liam started panicking. His heart beat increased and breathing started getting difficult for him.

"Liam!" Lucas's anxious voice snapped him out of his trance as he looked at his brother.

Lucas bent down and checked Ying Sheng's pulse and found it almost non-existent. 

"Is she….." Liam trembled as he asked Lucas.

"No but she is in a critical condition. Go find me a first aid box!"

Liam just couldn't move. It's like there was a magnet place underneath his feet. 

"Liam! Focus."

Liam fixed gaze on Ying Sheng's body travel to his brother and he swallowed.

"Hurry up! Do you want to lose her?" Liam rushed out and went to search for the first aid box. He searched frantically until he saw it in one of the cupboards.

He rushed and brought it to Lucas. Lucas took it and Liam went to the bathroom and grabbed a few towels and soaked it under water.

He gently wiped the blood off the slit wrist but the blood was too much. 

Since Lucas had actually done medicine since he was bored and wanted interesting to do, he was very skill with this.

He checked Ying Sheng's pulse and found it weakening even more.

His usually carefree aura was replaced with a serious one as he scrunched his face.

He knew whatever happens he can't let Ying Sheng die. It will tear his brother apart.

With a rampant concentration, he apply pressure to the wound and he tore the bandage and skillfully wrapped it around Ying Sheng's wrists.  Lucas breathed a sigh of relief when the bleeding finally stopped.

Liam looked at Ying Sheng's lifeless figure and he realized how pale she was. Their was no mischievous glint in her eyes since they were closed. How can she finally let go of life?! 

Why didn't he notice that she was hurting and everything was just a camouflage.

Liam could see the life slowly draining out of her. He had killed her. If only he didn't go to work today. He knew something was seriously wrong but seeing her so happy and acting okay made him believe that she was really okay.

She had him fool. She had fooled him with her acting skills. 

"Liam!" Lucas's voice pulled Liam out of his thoughts.

Liam stared at his bloody hands  in a daze. Her blood was on his hands. He had promised her to never let go but where was he when she needed him the most!

"Hey...You need to be strong for her. Pull yourself together. We need to take her to the hospital before we finally lose her."

Lucas said as he stood up. Liam nodded an picked Ying Sheng up.

The car ride was the most tormenting thing in Liam's life even though it was quick.

Lucas laid her on a gurney and explained what happened to the doctor in some weird medical terms.

A couple of nurses pushed Ying Sheng to the emergency room as Liam and Lucas were asked to stay outside.

Lucas stared at his brother and his heart broke at his pained eyes.

"Liam...it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself"

Liam felt the walls of the emergency room closing on him.  He grunted as a headache began to assault him. 

'You….. weren't there for her

How could you? You broke your promise

It's your fault…..your fault she is battling for her life.

Why give her false hopes and when you knew reality is harsh.'

"Shut up!" Liam screamed as he battled with his mind's allegations.

People gave him weird looks but he was drowning in his guilt to even notice them.

He shut his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Liam!" He heard his name being called snapping him from his thoughts.

He opened his eyes and met Lucas's worried eyes.

"I killed her…..I was supposed to be around…... I—I Oh my. She really…."

"Hey, shsshs…..it's okay. It's not your fault. You did your best. The decision was hers to make. Don't beat yourself I'm sure she wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

Tears flowed down Liam's cheeks. His guilt was consuming him. 

"Yes...but….you don't understand!'

Liam snapped as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Lucas heaved a sigh

"Liam. Don't blame yourself."

Liam nodded absentmindedly and watched the emergency room door.

For what seems like an forever the door opened and the doctor came out.

"How is she?" Such a simple words, Liam wanted to ask but he was afraid so Lucas finally spoke.

The doctor heaved a sigh and shook his head.

Liam's heart sank when he saw the doctor shook his head.

Did she….

God he didn't want to but he couldn't….

Please let her be okay. 

A/N :

Sorry for the late chapter guys hehehe. I was dozing so if you see any mistake please don't be shy help me point it out. Also I will travel tomorrow so I'm not sure about an update yet hehe let see what happens. In case I  post a dummy I'm sorry. I know it's annoying but please just bear with me. 

Lots of love!