Chapter 191 - Scars

Ying Sheng felt herself surrounded in complete darkness. Was she dead? But wasn't death supposed to be numb? Why does it feel like someone was hitting her head with a hammer?

Ying Sheng groaned and opened her eyes. She sighed in disappointment when she realized she was alive.

She saw the white ceiling and the heart monitor when she glanced at her right. The beeping sound made her everything feel real for her.

She didn't die.

Someone had save her but who?

Ying Sheng felt numb as she glanced at her hands wrapped in bandages. She felt absolutely nothing. Like an empty shell, she felt no physical pain from the cut.

Just her head throbbing. She felt a gaze on her. Looking at the entrance she saw someone starting at her with an unknown emotion in his eyes. 

Ying Sheng breath hitched and a lump formed in her throat.

Lei Zhao.

Was he disappointed in her? Will he think she is weak?

He looked at her flatly without emotion on his face. He said nothing just staring at her as if he was trying to see through her.

After what seem like forever Lei Zhao finally spoke.

"How are you?" He asked as he smiled softly at her.

Ying Sheng avoided Lei Zhao's gaze and ignored 

his question. 

"Who saved me?" Ying Sheng asked Lei Zhao.

"Liam." Lei Zhao replied softly.

"Oh…." Ying Sheng trailed off.

Why did he save her?

He should have let her die. 

Why...why…..she was so close to finally leave this cruel world. 

Why the f.u.c.k did he save her?!

"Ying Sheng….what are you thinking?"

Lei Zhao asked with concern laced in his tone.

"Why, he didn't let me die."

Ying Sheng breathed out.

Lei Zhao heaved a sigh and strolled towards her.

He grabbed her hand and caressed it softly.

"Hey, don't say that. Liam went through a lot to bring you here. You should have seen the poor boy. How shaken he was."

Ying Sheng looked at Lei Zhao.

"W-what? Is he okay?"

Lei Zhao shook his head, "I don't know….he never let your side since your coma. I just sent him away to go freshen up."

Ying Sheng looked at the ceiling, "Do you think he would be disappointed with me? Would he think I'm weak?"

Lei Zhao smiled and shook his head. 

"No, no one would think you're weak. Especially Liam. I can see how much he believes in you. You're lucky to have him as a friend."

Ying Sheng nodded, "Yes, I am. He is truly a good friend."

Lei Zhao finally conclude that Ying Sheng wasn't aware of the young man's feelings. It seems Liam was suffering from unrequited love.

He hopes one day Ying Sheng would like the guy if anyone deserved his cousin it was Liam. 

But it was too early for that. First, they had to help Ying Sheng first.

"How long was I out?" Ying Sheng asked.

"Three days." Lei Zhao replied.

At this moment, the door opened and Yan Mei walked in holding a basket of fruits.

"Hey, how are you?" 

Yan Mei said as she flashed Ying Sheng a smile.

Ying Sheng avoided Yan Mei's gaze as embarrassment coursed through her. She always looked up at Yan Mei but she felt like she had disappointed lots of people. Including the person she looks up to.

"H-hy." She said timidly as she fidgeted on her bed.

Yan Mei sat beside Ying Sheng on the bed.

"What happened to calling me sister Mei? I thought you considered me as a friend."

Yan Mei pouted as she complained.

"Husband see….she doesn't like me anymore."

Ying Sheng widened her eyes and shook her head.

"No-no…...I like you sister Mei. I-I I'm just ashamed."

Ying Sheng bit her lips as she lowered her head.

"Why are you ashamed?" Yan Mei asked with a confused frown marred on her face.

"Be-because…...I wasn't strong enough. I have disappointed all of you. I'm sorry."

Ying Sheng blinked the tears that was threatening to come out from her eyes.

Yan Mei sighed and held Ying Sheng's shoulder.

"Don't beat yourself up. Everyone has their own problems and go through stuffs. Do you know I have also committed suicide numerous times? If it wasn't for your cousin I would have already taken my own life."

Ying Sheng widened her eyes in shock. She didn't believe this. Yan Mei looked so strong, confident and beautiful. Why would she take her own live?

"But why…..you have everything."

Yan Mei chuckled as if she had heard something funny.

"Do I have everything?" Yan Mei shook her head and picked an apple from the basket.

She picked the kneel she had brought and started peeling the apple.

"Like I said, everyone has their own battles to face everyday. The fact that you see me acting strong and being domineering, doesn't mean everything is well. I might be strong on the outside but inside I'm also fighting a tough war."

Ying Sheng couldn't believe it. She felt Yan Mei was saying this because she didn't want her to feel bad.

Yan Mei finished peeling the apple and gave it to Ying Sheng. 

Seeing the doubts on Ying Sheng's face, Yan Mei smiled.

She removed the watch she was wearing and stretched her hand at Ying Sheng.

"Here. My scars." Ying Sheng opened her mouth as she looked at the scars on Yan Mei's wrist.

She knew these scars but she also had one. So…..the strong woman she looked up to also had issues.

She wasn't the only one fighting a hard battle.

"See? I didn't lie. Don't blame yourself Ying Sheng. You're still young and had lots of life ahead of you. Let us help you. Let us in."

Ying Sheng said nothing as she listened to Yan Mei.

'Could she trust them

Could she be saved?

Could she be happy?

Will anyone love her?

"You're not alone anymore, Ying Sheng. You have all of us and we are here for you. Always."