Chapter 66: Florida Man Sends Wife and Sister to Military Camp So He Can Watch P-Hub at Home

Felix and Jane rushed downstairs. Upon arrival, they found Valley in a hooded cloak, a thick long-sleeve dress, boots, and a leather vest.

Next to Valley were several boxes of dried food and water, neatly packed. Felix could tell she had taken most of the food from the kitchen, where he had stored backup MREs and canned goods for emergencies.

Garudeer stood at the door, accompanied by only one follower. His torn robe, burnt hair, and scars told stories of recent battles.

"Hello again, young man. Sorry for the sudden visit," Garudeer said, his expression solemn. He deeply sighed and delivered bad news. "The empire has given up Terra City and Aero City to Diana. This place is now Lamia's territory."

"What?" Jane exclaimed. "How did it come to this?!"

Garudeer bitterly smiled and recounted the events after he and his followers engaged in a life-and-death fight with Diana.

The combat was intense. The initial blows caused minor explosions, affecting only the nearby terrain. But after an hour into the fight, the governor of Veria Belt Province interfered with the battle and negotiated with Diana. After a long talk, Diana agreed to retreat peacefully and release some unharmed prisoners they had kept for food.

In exchange, the governor had yielded Terra City and Aero City to the monsters.

Hearing that their side had sold them out, Jane was enraged.

"Who is that governor?! How dare he?!"

Garudeer sighed deeply. "Have you heard of a star knight?"

"A star knight? A six-star aura knight?" Jane asked, recognizing the term.

"Not six stars, but seven!" Garudeer grumbled, suppressing his frustration. "A star knight is stronger than archmages. Their existence is on par with magi or seventh-circle mages. He is stronger than me."

Jane gulped, unable to imagine anyone stronger than archmages from the royal academy or mage towers. Valley also stared at Garudeer in disbelief.

Meanwhile, Felix picked his ears and nostrils simultaneously, pulling out a piece of earwax and a lump of booger. He mixed them into a ball and tossed it into his mouth.

"…"

The crowd stared blankly at Felix's behavior. But then Felix surprised them.

He spat the ball of booger into his palm, and it emerged as a small fireball. He picked it up and waited for the fire to extinguish, but it kept burning. The mass of booger and earwax fueled the flame without shrinking.

After confirming his skill, Felix shifted his attention to Garudeer.

"So, the governor sold us out to save his skin. How nostalgic. This reminds me of... Never mind. Anyway, what do you want again?"

Garudeer regained his composure and warned Felix, "This place is no longer safe, young man. Those monsters will overrun this territory soon. You should come with us."

Valley gazed at Felix, her glittering eyes full of hope.

Felix crossed his arms and inwardly grumbled. He glanced at Jessica.

'What do you think? Is there any merit in leaving this house?'

<None whatsoever. In fact, you don't need their help to survive. This house is equipped with sophisticated defensive mechanisms that can withstand multiple nuclear explosions as long as the essence stone in the "Room" hasn't run out of energy.>

<A reminder: You have 100 essence stones in your inventory.>

'Yeah, I thought as much.'

Felix loosened his arms and insisted, "I'm good. I'll stay here."

Garudeer was taken aback. "Do you know that those monsters see humans as food and… games?"

"I know. One of them tasted my balls…whoops."

At that moment, Felix realized he had made a mistake. Jane tilted her head and grinned, "One of them tasted what?"

"Ahem!" Felix coughed and made an excuse to his wife. "I got captured during the skirmish, okay? I didn't cheat on you. They forced themselves on me!"

"…"

"Anyway, I'm not going anywhere. But if you insist, you can take her," Felix changed the subject and pointed at Valley, who was eager to leave. "She wants a shot at the admission test. Take her with you and let her try. If she fails, well, we'll figure out something when that time comes."

Garudeer gave Felix a meaningful look and glanced at Valley. To his eyes, this lady was still lacking. Only Felix had a chance to defeat top genius children from ducal houses. Sёarᴄh the nôvel_Fire.ηet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

"I will not ask again. Are you coming with us?" Garudeer didn't want to lose Felix.

"I'll stay. That's my final answer." Felix's stance was firm.

"If you're that confident, there's nothing I can say," Garudeer bitterly smiled. "But if you change your mind, don't forget to seek shelter at our city and use my emblem. I'll be there to welcome you."

"…Thanks."

Garudeer turned to Valley and started talking to her. As for Felix, he looked at Jane and offered her a choice, "I know you're still loyal to her. If you want to, you can follow her as an attendant."

Jane stared into Felix's eyes, doubting his motive. "Do you want to chase me out so you can have fun with those monsters?"

"Hey. I'm not into furry or bestiality. I'm a vanilla man!"

"…Again with your weird language. What are you talking about?"

This wasn't the first time Felix used modern jargon. Jane sighed, giving up on correcting her husband.

"Fine. I'll take your golem with me. Is that okay?" Jane also gave up on Felix.

"Actually, that's a good idea."

The family came to an agreement. Valley, Jane, and Cement Golem would follow Garudeer to Big Zoot City. Felix would stay behind to protect his house.

The group continued chatting for a while. Jane rushed back to her room and packed her belongings. While everyone was getting ready, Felix gave the golem two crates of system supplies and entrusted their safety to him.

…

At noon, Garudeer brought out a small leaf that expanded into a giant flying carpet. Jane, Valley, and the golem got on. Once everyone was ready, Garudeer took off, piloting the leaf carpet.

Felix stood in front of his house, sending them off. Once they were gone, he smirked.

"Ah, I'm finally alone. It's FAP TIME!"

<…>

Jessica gave Felix a dull stare. He noticed the glare and giggled.

"Right. Man, you're still here with me. I guess I can't fap."

<…>