Chapter 97: Florida Man Goes 'Hardcore' During Exam, Leaves Desk Shaken and Stirred

<You have received 10 Class-E Mysterious Boxes.><You may now purchase add-ons for your house. Current available add-ons: Mobility.>

<A new quest has been generated.>

Finally, Felix completed the seventh main quest and eagerly checked his inventory to claim his beloved gacha boxes.

…

Mystery Crate (Class E)

This crate contains random tools, items, or system perks. Once opened, a new item will be unlocked in the Florida Man Online Store, allowing you to purchase additional Mystery Crates.

Possible items you can obtain:

- Mystery Crate (Class D) x 1 - 1%

- Mystery Crate (Class E) x 2 - 2% S~eaʀᴄh the nôvelFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

- Phoenix Dawn Needle x 1 - 3%

- Dimensional Garden Permit - 6%*

- Essence Stones x 10 - 9%

- Elixir of Bone Reconstruction x 5 - 10%

- Emergency Call-In Beacon x 5 - 12%

- Supply Crate (Class D) x 3 - 12%

- Karabiner 98k Production Permit - 20%*

- Supply Crate (Class E) x 10 - 25%

*Note: These items are unique. Once you obtain them, they will disappear from the list.

…

Looking at the potential items he could acquire, Felix felt a strong urge to open all the crates immediately. However, being in Garudeer's domain made him cautious; revealing his secrets could complicate things.

Playing it safe, Felix kept the items hidden and focused on completing his usual daily quests. His efforts earned him new Class-E Supply Crates, which doubled his stock of rations, mineral water, medicines, cigarettes, and other daily necessities. The premium toilet paper was, as always, luxuriously soft and thick.

After upgrading his pass to Class E, Felix noticed slight changes in his daily quests. The rewards were also upgraded, offering minor-grade potions instead of the lesser ones, with each potion valued at 500 mana in the store.

…

Daily Quest (Class E)

- Increase mana credit by 100.

Reward: Supply Crate (Class E)

- Create one firearm of any type by using your system feature "Arsenal of Freedom".

Reward: Minor Energy Potion (500 Energy)

- Create 10 cartridges of any type by using your system feature "Arsenal of Freedom".

Reward: Minor Healing Potion

- Purchase any item from your system feature "Florida Man Online Store".

Reward: Common Ammunition Crate x 2 (Random)

…

So far, Felix had been stockpiling ammo crates, unable to use them. Each time he unpacked one, the ammunition quickly became a burden, taking up multiple inventory slots. Frustrated by the clutter, he eventually stopped opening them altogether.

Felix sighed, closing all the system windows, and stood up. He knew he had to focus on the written exams starting in a few hours. Just as he was gathering his thoughts, Garudeer arrived to pick him up. With a nod of acknowledgment, Felix climbed onto the flying carpet beside Garudeer.

Together, they soared into the sky, heading toward the test ground, the cool wind whipping past them as the anticipation of the upcoming exam settled in Felix's mind.

.

.

6.30 AM, Felix returned to the gathering area for the examinees.

Unlike the previous round, about 3,000 spectators gathered to witness the examination. Most of the failed candidates had already packed up and gone home, but a few families stayed behind to enjoy the spectacle with their children.

When Felix arrived, he spotted Jane, Valley, and the Cement Golem in the crowd. Garudeer dropped him off nearby, allowing Felix to reunite with his family.

Seeing Jane and Cement Golem together, Felix suddenly remembered why he had come. Leaning in close, he whispered to Jane, "I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I'm here to take you home."

Jane snickered and secret groped his butt, "I knew that. But you're doing very well yourself. Actually, I'm wondering what will you taste like in bed."

"Hey, stop that! Keep your hands to your tits, woman!"

Jane laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and planted a soft kiss on Felix's cheek. Then, without warning, she pressed her chest against his face.

"Nah," Jane's voice was playful, "I'd rather have your hands on them. They miss you."

Felix's face turned bright red. He whispered, trying to pull away without making a scene. "Hey, stop! We're in public!"

Their conversation was meant to be private, but it wasn't as quiet as they thought. A dozen people nearby had sharp ears, and the reaction was immediate. Local women blushed, their faces tinged with embarrassment, while several young men shot daggers at Felix with their eyes in envy. Even Valley, usually indifferent, pouted, clearly jealous of the couple's closeness.

As the family enjoyed their lighthearted reunion, the mood suddenly shifted. One of the failed candidates, face twisted in anger, shoved his way through the crowd. It was a certain blond boy from a prestigious lightning mage family. His voice, shrill with indignation, rang out like a bell.

"COMMONER! HOW DARE YOU DISPLAY SUCH VULGAR BEHAVIOR HERE?!" Veetee screamed, his pre-pubescent, high-pitched voice cracking as he tried to sound authoritative. It was more comical than intimidating, like a maiden pretending to be a young man.

The sound grated on Felix's nerves. He slowly turned, narrowing his eyes. He reached into his coat and pulled out a pistol. His intent was clear—he was ready to send the loudmouthed boy to an early meeting with Jesus.

But before things could spiral out of control, Gall, who had accompanied Veetee, sprang into action. He grabbed the entitled young master by the collar and yanked him away from Felix, putting himself between the two. With a deep bow, he offered Felix a sincere apology. Then, he faced the troublemaker.

"Young master, mind your voice," Gall said firmly, trying to diffuse the situation.

But Veetee was far from done. He shrieked, his voice rising even higher in pitch. "SILENCE! WHY DID I FAIL WHILE HE PASSED?! THIS EXAM IS RIGGED!!"

Gall's patience finally snapped. His eyes darkened as he shoved the bottom of his staff into Veetee's mouth, cutting off his voice. Leaning in close, his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper.

"If you don't keep your mouth shut, I'll make sure it stays permanently open. Do you think your family's unique magic makes you untouchable? Do you want to make an enemy of the empire and see your entire bloodline wiped out within a day? Choose wisely. CLOSE. YOUR.

MOUTH. OR. ELSE."

Veetee's bravado evaporated in an instant. He had never seen Gall this angry before. After Gall had pulled out the staff, he closed his mouth and swallowed hard, his eyes wide with fear.

But fear didn't equate to understanding. As he retreated, Veetee's eyes burned with hatred, locking onto Felix. In his mind, Felix was the source of all his troubles. He swore then and there that he would have his revenge.

Felix, watching the scene unfold, let out a scoff. His finger had been resting on the trigger, but seeing Gall handle the situation, he slowly lowered the gun and holstered it. Shaking his head in disgust, he muttered, "What a spoiled brat."

Jane, still glued to his side, nodded in agreement, though her hand had drifted to an entirely different matter, squeezing her husband's soft butt, "He sure is. By the way, your butt's softer than usual. Is that because of that age-reduction medicine you took?"

Felix's face turned an even deeper shade of red. "CAN YOU STOP THAT?!"

But Jane couldn't stop laughing, her laughter ringing out in the now-silent crowd.

.

.

At 7:30 AM, Emperor Saucon arrived at the testing grounds, accompanied by Tanaka, Priestess Zen, and other retainers. The staff promptly set to work, bringing wooden chairs and desks onto the open field and arranging them in neat rows and columns.

Once everything was in place, 213 sets of wooden chairs and desks were ready for the examinees, each spaced 10 feet apart to ensure privacy and focus. Emperor Saucon inspected the arrangement, his keen eyes taking in every detail. Satisfied, he smiled in approval. His retainers then took up chalk and began drawing intricate magic circles on each desk. It took 30 minutes to complete.

With preparations done, the emperor stepped forward and called out to the examinees.

"All examinees who passed the practical exam, you may take a seat at any table here!"

Felix, Rosaline, Valley, and the other test takers emerged from the crowd. Among them was Taylor's son. They each chose a seat and examined the magic circle inscribed on their desks.

Felix recognized it immediately, thanks to Garudeer's teachings. He made a mental note to keep his hands away from the chalk, careful not to damage the delicate design. As he glanced around at the other examinees, he noticed that the person sitting on his right was none other than Rosaline, the blindfolded priestess.

For the first time, Rosaline lifted the cloth covering her eyes, revealing a brief glimpse of her glowing blue irises. After a quick look at the magic circle, she nodded in satisfaction and replaced the blindfold.

Felix raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sight of her shining eyes. Just as he was about to process what he'd seen, Jiji's portrait suddenly activated, her voice echoing in his mind.

"My lord, I sensed my former eyes in the area for a moment. I couldn't see who, but the person with my eyes is sitting to your right. Please be careful not to look into those eyes."

"…Huh?!"

Felix's mind raced. When he first met Jiji and Rosaline, he had dismissed the blindfold as nothing more than a local fashion statement. But now, learning the truth from Jiji, he was at a loss for words.

Was it a coincidence?

Was everything now clear?

Mystery solved?

None of these thoughts felt right. Everything was so twisted that Felix felt a growing urge to confront Elder Priestess Zen and demand answers about what she had done to her disciple and Jiji. His disdain for the church began to deepen.

"Jiji, is it possible for humans to implant a lamia's organ into their body, like your eyes?" Felix asked, his voice tinged with unease.

"That's impossible," Jiji replied. "My eyes would have transformed that person into one of my kin or killed them outright. Unless they inherit our bloodline, no human could survive after being in contact with our saliva, bodily fluids, or blood."

Felix gulped as memories of his intimate encounter with Zhu Xin Ci flooded his mind. The sensation of being wrapped in her four-tentacle-like tongues was still vivid. Just thinking about it stirred something within his pants.

*THUD*

The desk shook slightly from an impact underneath. Rosaline and the nearby examinees turned to look at Felix, curiosity and confusion on their faces.

Felix awkwardly coughed and quickly slid his legs under the desk to conceal the evidence. Wincing slightly from the pain, he muttered, "Nothing to see here."

The crowd shrugged and returned their attention to the magic circles on the desks.

After shifting their attention away, Felix let out a long sigh. He looked at the desk and prepared for the worse.

"Jessica," Felix whispered. "Can you prepare the translation in real time?"

<Should I just give you the answers as well?>

"Yes, please."

<Alright, cheater.>

After everybody was seated, Saucon's men activated the magic circuits on their desks, isolating them in glass cubes. Then, exam sheets and pencils manifested on the desks.