Chapter 116: Florida Man Escapes Civilization to Live in Cave After His Friends Keep Trying to Eat Him Because He Smells Like Roast Chicken

After dealing with the "art" statues and organizing Jiji's belongings, Felix resumed his trek. The little hydra, bored of the mundane scenery, retreated back into the system subspace for a nap. Jiji followed shortly after, allowing Felix the privacy he needed to indulge in his smoking ritual.

With no one to accompany him, Felix enjoyed the freedom of solitude, pushing through the morning hike without distractions. By afternoon, he paused, realizing the mountain climb was more treacherous than anticipated.

The sky darkened, heavy clouds rolling in, and soon rain began to pour. Felix glanced up at the ominous sky, mentally running through worst-case scenarios, such as landslides or flash floods. Being caution, he sought shelter in a small cave nestled in the side of a cliff, roughly 800 feet above sea level.

The temperature dropped sharply as the storm intensified. Strong winds howled through the narrow cave opening, carrying the scent of wet earth and rain. Thunder ominously rumbled, and flashes of lightning illuminated the gloomy atmosphere, amplifying the isolation.

Felix clicked his tongue in annoyance, staring out at the relentless downpour. With nothing else to do, he turned his attention to setting up a campfire, lighting the small space with a warm glow. He took a deep drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke warm him from the inside out.

The rain didn't let up. Three days passed, with Felix stranded in the cave, left with nothing but his smokes, food, and sleep to pass the time. He had burned through 2,000 cigarettes, leaving him without his usual stash.

Felix checked his current status, hoping to see how this unplanned break might affect his journey ahead.

…

Name: Felix Ariel

Age: 15/2,622

Bloodline: Void Phoenix

Element Affinity: Fire, Water, Metal, Poison, Void

Authorized Level: Super Democracy Pass (E)

Level: 40 (Max)

Energy: 19.9M / 20M (Max)

Mana: 20,000,000 (Max)

Innate Talents: Flame Lungs, Fast Learner, Fire Immunity, Poison Immunity, Petrification Immunity, Ashen Resurrection

Skills: Flame Breathe (Entry), Fireball Spitting (Entry), Flame Mana (Entry), Flame Aura (Entry), Mana Manipulation (Entry)

…

The progress was as slow as Felix had feared. At this pace, accumulating a million years of lifespan for the quest seemed like an impossible task. He stared at his dwindling options, feeling the weight of his predicament. Finally, with a resigned sigh, he reached for the items he had been avoiding all along—Phoenix Ash Cigars.

…

Phoenix Ash Cigars

These cigars are forbidden across galaxies due to their dangerous composition and devastating effects. Centuries ago, a galactic war was triggered over a discarded joint of one such cigar, leading to the deaths of 50 trillion mortals. Thus, nobody is allowed to possess or consume these cigars, except royalties of the phoenix race.

Effects:

- Heals all wounds, regenerates lost limbs, and cures every ailment.

- Grants fire and light elemental affinity. seaʀᴄh thё nôᴠel Fire.nёt website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

- Increases lifespan by one year per second.

- Turns the user into ash after one hour of use, resurrecting them 24 hours later (Phoenixes Only).

- Upon resurrection, ignites everything within a one-mile radius (Phoenixes Only).

- After first successful resurrection, user may begin shedding feathers or hair.

Warning: Highly toxic. Will cause intense hallucinations.

Note: One cigar typically lasts an hour.

…

Felix had avoided using these system items for as long as he could. The whole "death and resurrection" side effect was more than a minor inconvenience.

But with the rain showing no sign of stopping and his options running dry, he figured now was as good a time as any to risk his life for a boost. He unsealed a pack of Phoenix Ash Cigars.

Each paper box contained 10 cigars, and Felix had four cartons, equaling 40 boxes in total. It would last him quite a while. He eyed the first cigar in his hand, its ominous presence daunting.

"Here goes nothing," he muttered, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

After buying a cigar cutter from the system shop, Felix clipped the cigar's shoulder and carefully lit it. The dark brown smoke billowed out as he took a slow puff. Instantly, he coughed—hard. The flavor hit him like an overcooked chicken stuffed with an ungodly amount of chilies. His nostrils burned, and his lungs struggled against the harsh smoke.

*DING*

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<You have obtained a new affinity - Light.>

Though Felix hadn't even started his usual breathing technique, the effect worked just as promised. He glanced at the thick cigar still in hand and steeled himself for another drag, forcing the burning stick back between his lips.

*DING*

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>

One breath, one year. As he continued to puff, Felix's eyes watered. His vision began to blur as the inevitable side effects kicked in. Hallucinations.

Felix saw the shadowy forms of faceless humans standing within the cave, staring at him in silence. He knew they weren't real but couldn't shake the unsettling feeling they gave him.

Ignoring the creeping visions, Felix fixed his gaze on the campfire, trying to focus on the burnt chicken scent while his insides smoldered with the heat of the toxic smoke. Seconds turned into minutes, and with each inhalation, his lifespan steadily increased.

An hour later, the cigar was done. All that remained between his lips was a burnt paper wrapper. Felix, being a stinky weirdo, chewed and swallowed it, not leaving a waste behind. He found it still tasted like chicken. The texture, though, was as unpleasant as cardboard, but he didn't mind.

After enduring the torture and hallucinations, Felix had gained 3,600 years, pushing his total lifespan pool to 6,222 years. At this rate, he might actually reach his goal sooner than expected.

However, Felix wasn't reckless enough to light another cigar just yet. Stacking deaths didn't sound appealing, and Felix didn't know how much worse it would get if he tempted fate too many times.

Deciding to call it a day, Felix stripped off his clothes and lay down beside the campfire. He closed his eyes, waiting for the deadly side effect to take hold, wondering what form his death would take.

There was no suspense. Exactly one hour later, his entire body erupted in a vibrant blue flame. His organs, muscles, and blood vessels combusted instantly, reducing him to a pile of glittering blue ash. Two crystal-clear orbs dropped atop the dust piles, faintly glowing.

A second later, the ash ignited in an orange flame, slowly reconstructing a human skeleton. Blood vessels reformed, followed by muscle fibers and skin, all free from blemish or impurity. The flames worked like magic, reassembling Felix piece by piece until, within moments, he was whole again, reborn from the ashes. The two orbs earlier returned to Felix's body and vanished.

Suddenly, a violent eruption of flame tore through the cave, a fiery tornado spiraling out from Felix's body. The inferno roared with unimaginable heat, licking the walls and ceiling of the cave, sending waves of scorching energy through every crevice. Rocks and hidden mineral deposits inside the cave melted from the intensity, dripping molten stone from above.

Before Felix could react, the liquefied debris cascaded down, burying him alive beneath the heavy, blazing rubble.

The eruption was as sudden as it was explosive, a flash of chaos in the confined space. The force of the phoenix flame shockwave sent a tremor through the mountain.

But luckily, the storm outside masked the event. Torrential rain fell in sheets, cooling the area outside and preventing the fire from spreading beyond the mountain. The wind howled as if trying to snuff out the flames, but within the cave, the blaze raged on, contained but devastating.

Had this explosion happened anywhere else, it could have caused untold destruction. But here, isolated on the mountainside, no one was harmed by the violent burst of phoenix energy, except for Felix—who now lay buried beneath the molten rock. The heat continued to radiate, and the aftermath of the eruption left the cave glowing, like the smoldering remains of a forge after a great fire.

The resurrection process was complete. A hand burst through the molten rock, dripping with lava, as Felix clawed his way out of the melting liquid. Slowly, he opened his eyes, feeling an unsettling shift within himself. His irises had transformed into a deep, glowing crimson, casting an eerie light in the dim, molten surroundings.

With a grunt, Felix pushed his body free from the scorching liquid, his once pale skin now reflecting the molten glow of the cave. The heat seemed to dance off his flesh, making it appear smoother. He stood amidst the glowing remnants of stone and mineral, his body unmarred by the destruction around him, now more resilient than ever.

As he blinked, he felt a strange sensation behind his ear—an unfamiliar coldness that hadn't been there before.

Sitting up, Felix instinctively reached for the spot, scratching at it. To his surprise, a small bundle of feathers fell from behind his ear and stuck to his hand. Startled, he held the tiny feathers between his fingers, feeling their softness as he brought them closer to inspect.

The feathers were small, still growing, and entirely colorless. They looked like regular bird feathers, though their presence behind his ear was anything but normal. He remembered vaguely that they had started growing a few days ago, but this was the first time he noticed them shedding.

Curious, Felix took one of the feathers and stored it in his inventory to examine its effects and description. He hoped the system could give him some insight into what exactly was happening to his body.

Had the Phoenix Ash Cigars caused this?

Was it something else lurking within him?

Was it new-found powers?

Either way, he could easily get an answer by just reading the item description. As soon as the system screen updated, Felix looked at the item's icon and detail with a wide grin.

...

Phoenix Feathe